Love Is Overdue (14 page)

Watching Ben cook live in
person was mesmerizing. His dish was a whole wheat penne pasta,
tossed in a sauce of cherry tomatoes, red onion, garlic, zucchini,
and that all-anticipated scotch bonnet pepper, all sauteed in olive
oil with some fresh boccachini mozzarella and basil ribbons tossed
in at the last minute. He was the ultimate screen chef, chopping
all his vegetables on the spot, his every move coming across so
effortless. Flawless. Fuck, this man had such skills with his
hands...

“
So
there you go...” He slid his finished dish onto a platter and
garnished with a few more ribbons of basil and some cracked black
pepper, then looked back up at the camera. “And dey say Jamaican
people dem cyan cook pasta,” he teased, slipping into Patios. “I
say we done good wit dis one - you should see my camera-guy mouth
waterin’ already... Anyway, I hope y’all try this one at home and
let me know what you think. This recipe goin’ be linked so make
sure you check the info box under the screen, subscribe to my page,
and remember – alla you viewers lucky enough to live in the Greater
Vancouver area make sure you come check my spot at 1350 Commercial
Drive –
The Rock
– I promise you gonna thank me for it
later.” He picked up a fork and gave the camera his sexy little
lift of the eyebrows. “Taste test...” He took a bite of his pasta
and nodded slowly...suggestively...I almost laughed out loud.
“That’s right, people...that is some damn good pasta right there...
So anyway, until next time – be good, stay safe... One love. Am
out.”

The he stepped back and
reached behind his back to untie his apron just as Adam called out,
“That’s a wrap...”

Ben smacked his apron down
on the counter. “Now that’s what am fuckin’ talkin’
about...”

Lena and I burst out
laughing.

Patrick looked pretty amused
himself and Adam just sighed. “Yeah, you were right – you is da
one-take wonder,” he admitted. “You makin’ my job too
easy...”

“
All right, I’m
hungry.” Lena got up off her stool. “Let’s eat.”

Ben headed off to the living
room and flipped on his stereo, this time deciding on some reggae,
and some Black Uhuru started pumping from the speakers as Lena
began dishing out some steaming bowls of pasta for all of
us.

When Ben made his way back
to the kitchen he eased himself onto the stool next to me. “Good
luck charm...” he said softly, only for me to hear.

Ω

The five of us
sat around eating, drinking and chatting for the next few hours. I
loved how at ease everyone made me and I really began to enjoy the
company. Eventually we ended up back in the living room where Lena
and Patrick cuddled up together on one end of the sofa, while Adam
began rolling up another post-dinner joint.

Ben and I stepped out onto
the balcony together just as the sun was starting to
set.

“
This is nice,” I
said, the view of the harbour and the sun setting over the sky-line
taking my breath away.

Ben leaned up against the
railing with me. “Yeah...the view is what sold me...I didn’t really
wanna come live around all these yuppies, but you can’t beat
this...”

“
Where did you
live before this?” I wanted to know.

“
On the Drive,”
he told me. “I always stayed in East Van, since I was a kid. I even
had a place close to where you at about ten years ago,” he pointed
out.

“
Really?” I was
surprised. “Hmmm...so then you down with us ghetto folks, huh?” I
still couldn’t quite get over my surroundings and the lifestyle he
had.

But he sucked his teeth and
narrowed his eyes at me, dismissing my comment. “What you talkin’
about? I come from the ghetto myself...”

“
Yeah, I
know...but you out now.”

“
I guess...I may
not stay here, though,” he admitted.

“
Really?
Why?”

“
It’s not really
me,” he said simply. “And it’s kinda lonely...I don’t know...I like
nice things but I like nice people better.”

“
Hmmm...” I
thought, smiling. “Yeah, I kinda guessed that about you. But I hope
you don’t move too soon – I could get used to watching the sun set
from this balcony.”

He smiled at that. “I don’t
think I told you but...you lookin’ real good tonight.”

I raised my eyebrows, my
tummy doing somersaults again. “Yeah? No...first you mentioned
it.”

“
Yeah, sorry
about that...too much people at my place right now.” He was giving
me that intense gaze of his again. “Just say the word and I’ll send
them home.”

I kind of laughed. “Oh, it’s
like that, huh?”

He nodded slowly. “Whatever
you want, baby...I’m all yours.”

“
Hmmm...” I let
my breath out, thinking. For some reason the thought of being all
alone with him in this gorgeous condo made me suddenly terribly
excited...but also more nervous that I had ever been with him
before. “You know I told you I don’t trust myself to be alone with
you.” My voice escaped me.

“
Yeah, I
remember,” he said, not taking his eyes off me. “But I also
remember telling you you don’t have to trust yourself...you just
have to trust me. I don’t play games, I told you that.”

I nodded slowly, not
understanding quite where this new fear was coming from. “That’s
true...but who knows...what if all of this – everything you telling
me – is just one big game?”

Ben didn’t look too happy
about that one. He gave me a confused look. “What you really
worried about? Be honest.”

I sighed, lowering my eyes,
trying desperately to figure it out myself. “You just...” I
shouldn’t have said it, but I knew I had to. “You just seem too
good to be true. This kinda thing doesn’t happen to me.” And then I
lifted my eyes. “And I know it’s a stupid thing to tell you...I
know that no guy wants to hear a girl telling him she thinks
he’s...” My voice trailed off.

“
He’s what?” He
wasn’t letting it go.

“
That she thinks
he’s out of her league,” I admitted.

There. I said it. Then I
started to panic. Fuck, what was wrong with me?

Ben didn’t say anything
right away. He just nodded slowly, taking in my comment, most
likely trying to figure out a response.

I
couldn’t handle the silence. “I mean, come on Ben – look at you!” I
just kept digging myself a deeper grave. “Look at all this!” I
motioned around at my surroundings. “Everything about you is just
so...
fuck
...” I raked my fingers through my hair. “How do I
compete with this? How do I even – ?”

“
Okay, stop.” He
cut me off then.

“
I’m sorry,” I
sighed. “I shouldn’t have said anything, I just – ”

“
Just stop
talking, Gabriela,” he said then seriously, pulling me in with his
eyes again. “I’m not gonna try to convince you of anything, you
gonna have to just figure it out for yourself... I talk to you
every day, I want to see you and be with you even when all I got is
an hour or less of time to spare, and I asked you to come here
today to spend time with you – fuck, my friends been here in the
house this whole time – if none of that can convince you that I
ain’t just lookin’ for some pussy, then I don’t know what
will.”

I sighed again, feeling like
an idiot. “You’re mad.”

He let his breath out.
“Yeah, kinda,” he admitted, unapologetically.

I nodded, gazing out over
the harbour again, still feeling his eyes on me. “I like you, Ben.
A lot,” I said softly. “Maybe too much.”

“
Well, if you
like me so much you gonna have to get over this bullshit about me
just lookin’ to play you because I don’t have time to waste on
someone who ain’t gonna take me seriously,” he said simply. But his
tone had softened.

I glanced back over at him.
“You’re right...I know you’re right. I just never met anyone that
made me feel like this before...”

“
Like what?” He
was still watching me.

I looked back over at him
but before I could say anything the glass doors slid open and Adam
seemed to appear out of nowhere. “You two want to take a hit off
this?” he asked, holding out what was left of the joint he had
rolled.

A look of relief seemed to
wash over Ben. “Fuck, yeah,” he said quickly and took the joint
from Adam, taking a long deep drag, the air around me suddenly
filling me up with the sweet, calming scent of
marijuana.

Chapter
Seven

The three of them left about
a half hour later, after packing up all the camera equipment, and
Ben helped them carry it out to Patrick’s car while I waited for
him in the living room, channel-surfing on his massive TV. The weed
was starting to wear off a little and I started to get worried –
wondering if Ben and I were still okay. He had my heart and my head
spinning so fast it was getting harder and harder for me to focus
on anything else.

I heard the front door open
and then his footsteps as he made his way back down to the living
room. He sat down next to me on the sofa, leaving about a foot of
space between us and raised his eyebrows, looking at me
cautiously.

“
You wanna watch
a movie or something?” he asked me then.

I just stared back at him,
my eyes grazing over his beautiful body, from head to toe and back
up again. I just shook my head. “No.” And then I leaned over
quickly and just started kissing him.

I could tell it caught him
completely off-guard, but his surprise quickly faded as he started
to kiss me back...gently...tenderly...forcing me quickly to slow
down. I loved how he took control. He held my face, caressing me so
softly, brushing my hair back, and then he pulled away.

“
I’m sorry,” I
said softly.

“
Stop
apologizing.” His voice was so tender again.

“
I’m scared,” I
admitted in a voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to do
this.”

He smiled at that. “You
don’t know how to do what?”

“
Everything,” I
said, knowing full well that I was making no sense.

“
Everything...”
He repeated, just watching me.

He leaned back slowly into
the sofa, pulling away from me. I knew he was expecting me to
continue talking, but him distancing himself from me just seemed to
have a magnetic reaction with my body and I turned back to him,
pushing up on my knee and then just climbed on top of him,
straddling him as I took his face in my hands and just started
kissing him all over again.

I felt his hands grip my
waist and then move lower, pushing me down onto his lap harder,
deeper. Our lips broke apart and I heard him let his breath out
deeply.

“
You’re confusing
the fuck out of me right now...”

I nodded. “Mmmhmm...” I
agreed, kissing his beautiful lips again and moving my mouth to his
jaw, his ear, his neck...

He let out a soft, arousing
moan and I felt his reaction between my legs and it made me
quiver.

“
Fuck...” His
hands were running up my arms and then grasped both my shoulders.
“Hold up, baby, look at me,” he said then, his voice all breathy
and strained.

I did as he asked and met
his eyes, kissing his mouth again softly as I did.

“
You know you
don’t have to do this,” he said then. I could tell it strained him
a lot just to say the words. He stroked my face so tenderly. “I’m
not upset with you and you don’t have to prove anything to me...I
promise.”

“
I know,” I said
softly. “But my body just won’t listen to my head right now...I
can’t help it...” I kissed him again, softer this time, letting him
set the pace, feeling his tongue explore inside my mouth in a way
that made me shudder.

“
Since I met you
I just can’t stop coming...” I heard my voice betray me again. “I’m
like a ticking time-bomb, Ben...”

“
Shit.” I heard
him gasp. I could tell my words had done something to him. I felt
his big, strong hands press me down into his lap harder this
time.

I could come just like this,
I realized, in shock. But I wanted so much more.

And then I felt his hands on
my shoulders, pushing back again. It shocked me, the thought that
he could be stopping me again, but I soon realized it was nothing
like that as his eyes fell all over my body again, looking hungrier
than ever.

I could see exactly what he
wanted and so I quickly reached down and pulled my top up over my
head and tossed it away, exposing my full, aching breasts for him
to ravish, as they practically spilled out of the black, lacy bra I
had on.

But he held back. He just
watched me and fed on me with his eyes instead, running his hands
all over my milky, soft skin, from my throat to my shoulders,
squeezing my arms down to my elbows and then back up again, sliding
his fingers under the straps of my bra, pulling down ever so
slowly.

“
Do you like
them?” I asked softly, wanting desperately to hear some assurance,
something – anything – that could calm my trembling
nerves.