Love Is Patient and A Heart's Refuge (4 page)

“Have we met before, Lisa?” Dara asked suddenly. “The more I see you, the more familiar you seem.”

Lisa kept her smile in place even as icy fingers tickled her spine. “My mother always told me my face was a dime a dozen. Maybe that’s why.”

Dara laughed lightly. “Maybe.” But Lisa could tell Dara wasn’t satisfied with the reply.

Lisa folded her napkin and laid it on her plate. She felt suddenly ill and wanted to leave. But she didn’t want to be the first away from the table.

She looked up to see Alex watching her, a light frown on his face. Surely he didn’t recognize her, as well?

Lisa steeled herself for another round of questions.

“I think we should finish this meal, Stephanie,” Alex said, much to her relief. “We can have dessert in the living room.”

He pulled a large worn book from a shelf behind him that was part of the kitchen cabinets. Lisa recognized a Bible. A well-read Bible.

He handed it to Stephanie.

“Why don’t you read, dear?” she said softly.

He shook his head. With a slight nod of acquiescence, Stephanie took the book and paged through it. As she did, arms were crossed, faces turned toward her as a feeling of waiting permeated the room. This was normal routine, Lisa realized, sitting back in her chair.

“We always have devotions after our meal,” Stephanie said, smiling at Lisa. “If you’re uncomfortable with that, you are welcome to leave.”

“No, this is fine.” She glanced around the table, underlining her lack of objection. “Please, go ahead.”

“Instead of reading through our usual devotions, I thought I would simply read a psalm.” Stephanie glanced up at Lisa as she slipped her reading glasses on. “So that Lisa doesn’t feel completely out of the loop.”

Lisa felt that way already, but she simply smiled her thanks.

“Psalm thirty-three.” Stephanie brushed a strand of hair back from her face and began to read. “’Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him….’”

The cadences and rhythms of the psalm washed over Lisa. Familiar enough that she could almost hear Rick Haskell’s voice reading the words. A light pain settled in her chest, an echo of the one she’d felt in the airplane. Just like this family, Rick used to read the Bible after supper. Sometimes in the evening, as well. Unbidden, her thoughts returned to the angry place she revisited each time she thought of their deaths.

“’From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who
live on earth, He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.’”

If God could truly see everyone, why had He taken Rick and her mother away from her and Gabe? What had they done to deserve such a loss?

“’We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust His holy name. May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in You.’”

As Stephanie read the last words of the psalm, Lisa lowered her head. How could she put her hope in God? In the past few years the one thing she had discovered was that if she didn’t take care of herself, no one else would.

Stephanie closed the Bible, and Lisa once again caught the appeal in her glance as she looked to her husband. But again he shook his head. Was this his job? Lisa wondered.

Stephanie glanced around the table, then lowered her head and began to pray. And against her will Lisa felt a gentle urging, a faint voice calling her.

Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do.

She bit her lip, thinking of her silly bargain with God. But she was a person of her word, and she would find a chance to go to church.

But first she needed to get out of this house. It was too risky staying here.

And it was too hard being in the middle of this obviously happy and close family.

Dylan paused in front of Lisa’s door. It was slightly ajar and the light shone through the opening into the
hallway. He should just keep going, but he wanted to make sure she was okay. She’d seemed a little jumpy at suppertime.

He knocked lightly on the door.

“Who is it?”

“Me. Dylan.”

He heard a rustling sound and then she was at the door. She had changed into sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt, her hair now hanging loose over her shoulders. The casual dress made her look vulnerable. More approachable than the immaculately dressed secretary he saw more often.

“What can I do for you, Mr. Matheson?” she asked, holding the door like a shield. “Sorry. Dylan.”

So much for approachable. “Just wondering how you were feeling. You seemed a little tense downstairs.”

“I’m sorry. I felt a little out of place.” She looked up at him. “Look. This wasn’t a good idea. I should be staying at a hotel like you suggested. I feel like I’m putting your family out.”

“You’re not at all.” Dylan dropped a shoulder against the doorjamb. “Besides, Dara told me that she’s bringing some files here tomorrow. Figured it would be easier if we looked at them here, rather than in the office.”

Lisa bit her lip, as if considering.

“Look, if it’s a problem, we can rent a hotel room. Work out of that.”

Lisa shook her head. “No. That’s not convenient at all.” She glanced up at him. “And for some reason that seems even more compromising than staying here with your parents in the house.”

Dylan held her eyes as the faint implications of what she was saying hung between them.

“My dad’s at the office and my mother will be running around for the wedding,” he said with a light smile.

A spark of awareness arced between them. He let it play out a moment, wondering where it came from. What he was going to do about it.

Lisa lowered her eyes and drew back into the room. “Okay, then. I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow. What time do you want to start?”

“Eight o’clock okay for you?”

She nodded. “I’ll see you then,” she said softly, and closed the door.

But Dylan waited, as if trying to analyze that elusive moment.

He would do well to remember Felicia.

And that Lisa was just his secretary.

L
isa closed the file and rolled the kink out of her neck, easing the tension that had been building the past hour. The stress that pinched her upper shoulders didn’t come from her surroundings, however.

Outside the large glass doors behind her, light played through the trees, dancing over the table as classical music played softly through speakers discreetly mounted in the ceiling. The book-lined walls and the two leather couches flanking a fireplace were a temptation she had been ignoring for the past four hours.

Instead the stress came from spending the morning bent over files or staring at a computer screen matching vendors with invoices and getting nowhere close to any thread connected to her brother.

Lisa glanced at Dylan sitting across the table from her. His sleeves were rolled up to just below his elbow, his tie knot hung below his opened collar and his hand was
buried in his thick hair. He looked as frustrated as she felt.

As if feeling her scrutiny, he looked up, his disheveled air softening his features. “All done with those?”

“For now. Haven’t found anything suspicious, though I’m no accountant.”

“You don’t need to be an accountant to do what we’re doing.” Dylan pushed himself away from the table they had set up in the library. “My father just wants us to back up what Dara found about Gabe.”

The mention of her brother’s name coupled with the irritated tone of Dylan’s voice gave Lisa a start.

Lisa took a calming breath. “Why didn’t she press charges?”

“My father wouldn’t let her. Said he wanted to wait and see how bad the damage really was.” Dylan shrugged. “He’s a lot more generous than I would have been.”

Lisa unconsciously clenched her fists. She said nothing, sure that if she even parted her lips a heated defense of her brother would spill out.

“And now it’s time for lunch.” Dylan stood. “We’ll eat in the kitchen.”

Lisa got up and followed him out the door, protesting. “I thought we’d go to a restaurant for lunch.” Where she could pay for her own meal and not feel even more indebted to him and his family.

“Why would I want to do that, when all my favorite foods are right here?” Dylan said, and kept walking.

Dylan pulled two plates wrapped in plastic out of the refrigerator and with a flourish set them on the marble countertop. “Madam, lunch is served.”

Each plate held a croissant layered with sprouts, cucumber, tomato and cuts of meat. Tucked beside it was a salad made with multicolored leaves garnished with swirls of carrot and fresh peppers.

“How did you do that?” she asked with mock surprise as he rummaged through a cutlery drawer.

“Secret recipe. A little bit of salt, a sprinkle of cilantro and a whole dose of pleading. My mom made them before she left this morning.” Dylan unwrapped the plates and set one on the eating bar in front of her. “Pull up a stool and we’ll eat,” he said as he tucked the napkin and silverware beside her plate.

Lisa held back. Lunch with just the two of them in the house created an awkward intimacy that wouldn’t have happened had they eaten at a restaurant.

“Stop hovering. No one is around. We don’t have to pretend right now.” Dylan sounded slightly peevish.

Lisa tucked her head down as she pulled up the stool. Were her feelings so transparent? “Sorry, I just feel a little out of place here.”

“I gathered that.”

She glanced sidelong at Dylan as she unfolded her napkin, taking her cue from him.

He caught her glance and tilted her a half smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not the praying type.”

“But your family certainly seems to be.” Lisa thought back to the supper yesterday. There’d been no awkwardness in the after-supper routine. Everyone had seemed at home with it, even Kerry, Ted and Dara, the guests.

“I used to be.” He gave a light shrug as if brushing away his past.

“So what happened?”

“Neglect more than anything.” He angled his chin toward her. “What about you? You ever go to church?”

She nodded. “When my parents were alive. Yes.”

“What made you stop?”

“Their deaths.”

Suddenly, to her surprise, she felt Dylan’s hand on her arm. But he didn’t say anything, and his silence combined with the comforting heaviness of his hand created a surprising bond. His touch was one of solace.

“You still miss them.”

“I don’t have anyone else.” The lie splintered the fragile connection and she pulled away. To cover up, she went on the defensive. “Does your alienation from church have anything to do with your father?”

Dylan sliced through his croissant with one quick movement. “Partly.”

“What happened?” Lisa knew she was overstepping the boundary between secretary and boss, but she had eaten with his family, was staying in their home. The boundaries were growing blurrier each minute.

Dylan drew in a long, deep breath, then shook his head. “I’m not going to bother you with the details. I was foolish enough to trust that my own father would keep his word.” He was smiling, but the sharp edge in his voice gave lie to the casual face he was putting on the situation. “And let’s just say Ted has been proving my misgivings correct ever since.”

His ambiguous words made Lisa even more curious. In the short time she’d worked for Dylan she’d sensed he had a steady, solid nature. The kind of man her
mother had sought until she found Gabe’s father. Dylan’s bitterness jarred. Like an off-key note in a harmonious song.

“Is that why you’re going to quit?”

“Mostly. I’ve been waiting too long. It’s time I took my life in my own direction.” He angled his chin at her lunch. “Now, eat up. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us yet before we head out again tonight.”

Lisa caught a flash of yellow through the trees and ran out the door to meet the cab, relief sluicing through her.

Though she had told Dylan she would help him out by being his escort at the wedding, she drew the line at accompanying him to the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner the family was attending this evening. She desperately wanted to connect with Gabe.

She hopped inside the cab, giving the cabbie Gabe’s address, and half an hour after they left Dylan’s place, they pulled up in front of a dingy apartment building. Lisa’s heart sank. Squat, dark apartment blocks flanked her brother’s, and beyond that she saw what looked like the industrial section of Vancouver.

For this she had denied herself countless little luxuries, worked overtime and prayed? So that her brother could end up here?

She pressed the button beside her brother’s name, and when she heard his heavy voice answering, she knew he had been sleeping.

As she walked up the stained linoleum of the stairs, she heard the sounds of fighting, a stereo thumping out a deadening bass rhythm.

Home sweet home, she thought, knocking on her brother’s door. But in spite of the surroundings, her heart rose with the anticipation of seeing Gabe.

The door opened and Lisa stifled a cry of dismay. Gabe’s brown hair lay flat on one side of his head and stuck up on the other. He hadn’t shaved. His wrinkled T-shirt and jogging pants looked as if he’d slept in them.

“Hey, Lise,” he said, running his fingers through his hair, smiling at her. “Great to see you.”

He’d known she was coming, she thought as disappointment flared within her. Surely he could have made some attempt at getting ready?

Then he stepped forward and her arms came up and she was holding her little brother close.

“I missed you, sis,” he said giving her a bone-crushing hug.

“I missed you, too.” Lisa pulled back, running the palm of her hand over his hair as if to neaten it, love and affection warring with her ever-present desire to improve, to make him better than he was.

“Sorry I look like this. I came off a long shift at work yesterday. Slept most of today.” His mouth stretched in a yawn, underscoring his comment. “Come on in. I made you some coffee. Just the way you like it.”

Lisa couldn’t help scanning the living room as they walked through it, thankful to see that the apartment was reasonably tidy.

“I even have cream,” Gabe said, holding aloft a small cardboard container.

“Place looks pretty good, Gabe,” Lisa said with forced cheer. She pushed aside a stack of newspapers
from the table and sat on the kitchen chair, watching her brother working in the kitchen.

“It’s not as nice as my other place was, but hey, we know why I can’t afford that anymore. I was lucky enough to find a roommate on such short notice.” He handed her a cup of coffee and sat down across the table from her. He smoothed his hair and stifled another yawn. “I can’t believe you’re actually here in Vancouver.”

“I certainly didn’t think I’d ever be here this soon.” She smiled at Gabe, warmth and love enveloping her. “How’s your job?”

Gabe shrugged, stretching his arms out. “It’s work and it pays the rent.”

“Have you been looking…”

“That’s why the stack of newspapers,” Gabe said abruptly. “But I can’t get a job without a reference and I can hardly use Matheson Telecom. So for now I’m stuck selling telephones and trying to pay bills out of minimum wage.” His words spilled out in an angry flow. “I know what you did to help me get this degree. The lousy jobs and the lousy bosses.” He shoved his hands through his hair in a gesture of frustration. “Sorry. I’m just running out of patience.”

“It’s okay, Gabe. I’ve got a good job now.”

Gabe drew in a deep breath. “And how is it working for Dylan Matheson? Never met the guy, but from the way Dara talks, he was just a cape away from being a superhero.”

Lisa had to smile at Gabe’s description. “He’s an ordinary guy.” More ordinary than her first impression of
him. “The job is interesting,” Lisa said carefully. “I haven’t discovered anything helpful. I did meet Dara and Ted.”

“Ted kind of stays in the background. Dara’s the real power.” Gabe leaned back in his chair, balancing it on two legs. Lisa stifled an automatic reprimand. It was his chair. His apartment. “She’s a piece of work, isn’t she?”

“What do you mean?”

“The whole time I was working for her I got to hear how she wanted to take care of me. She took me out for supper a bunch of times to ask me how I liked my job.” He shook his head in disgust. “Things started looking a little shaky and just like that—” he snapped his fingers “—Gabe Haskell is gone and there’s no way I can get a reference.”

Lisa fingered the handle of the mug. “Did you ever talk to Alex Matheson?”

“Dara wouldn’t let me. Told me he wasn’t interested.” Gabe rocked his chair a moment, pursing his lips.

“Didn’t you suspect something was going on?”

“Why do you think I got fired?” Gabe dropped his chair down.

“Are you saying it was a setup?”

Gabe looked at her as if to say,
you silly girl,
and for a moment Lisa felt like the younger of the two, not the other way around.

“If you knew you were right, why didn’t you challenge her?” she asked. “Why didn’t you go talk to Ted? To Alex?”

“She wouldn’t let me. Told me it would make things
worse.” Gabe pushed himself up from the table and turned away from Lisa, his hands on his hips.

“Gabe, what’s going on? What happened there?”

“It’s a mess, Lisa. And I don’t know how to untangle it.” He spun around, caught her by the hands. “You’ve got to prove me innocent. Without a reference to explain my departure I’ll never get a job as an accountant again. Especially in this day and age.” He squeezed her hands tighter and tighter as his anger built. “Makes me wonder why I should stay honest.”

“Don’t you even think about it,” Lisa warned, squeezing back. “You’ve seen what happened to your friends in high school. You’ve got to do things the right way.”

“Much good it’s done me so far,” he snapped.

“Gabe, please listen to me.” Lisa caught his face in her hands, his stubble scratching her palms, and unconsciously she sent up another quick prayer for help. “If you’re innocent and Ted or Dara have been the ones fooling with the books, it will come out. I’m working on it now. Me and Dylan. He’s smart. He’ll find out the truth.” Her own defense of Dylan surprised her. And as she held Gabe’s gaze, she could feel the tension flowing out of him.

Thank You, Lord.

The words came from her past, but in spite of a long mistrust of God, she experienced a moment of thankfulness.

“It will come together. I promise.”

Gabe’s slow smile seemed to seal her declaration. “You’re the best sister I could have asked for, you
know?” He returned to his chair and sighed lightly. “I haven’t prayed for a long time, but I catch myself wondering if I should. Maybe it will help.”

“I don’t suppose it can hurt.”

“Do you still pray, Lisa?”

Lisa thought of her promise to attend church. “Not like I used to.”

“I miss it sometimes. But then I think of my dad. Your mom. Us.” He shook his head. “It’s just you and me, Lisa. You and me against the world.”

She nodded at the words they used to encourage each other when it seemed things were conspiring against them. Teachers, social workers, bosses. How many times had she come home from work, dejected and tired, and Gabe had encouraged her and given her the boost she needed? And how often had she done the same for him?

“You and me, buddy. Always and always.”

Dylan ran up the walk to the house, whistling a soft tune. The rehearsal and supper had gone better than expected. Though Lisa hadn’t attended, her presence in their home, at the supper last night, had all seemed to serve notice to his family that he was, for the moment, taken.

He unlocked the front door of the house and ran up the stairs. But Lisa wasn’t in her room. Nor was she in the study or the TV room, or by the swimming pool in the backyard.

She’d said she was going for a walk. Surely she should have been back by now. Had she gotten lost in the woods behind the property?

He was at the back of the house when he heard a vehicle. By the time he walked around past the front Lisa was unlocking the side door. She wore her hair loose this evening, a bounce of curls on her shoulders. The pink shirt and the faded jeans made her look like a cute teenager.