Love Isn't Blind 1 (4 page)

"Just ahead a few blocks. It's not far." He slipped his hand back and fell into place beside her as they walked.

A cemetery loomed in the darkness beside them, and Ashley was surprised when Anthony indicated they should turn into the first opening in the fence. He told her to walk straight ahead until they came to the second crossroad, where they would turn left.

"Four crosses down, three rows back," he said after they'd made their turn.

They were standing in front of a large war memorial. Perfect rows of white crosses stood before them, markers for those who died in service to their country. Ashley led him to the indicated marker and saw that the name inscribed on the cross was William Lang.

"My father," explained Anthony. "He died in Vietnam when I was less than a year old. He shipped out before I was born and never got to see his only son."

They stood in silence and Ashley couldn't be sure, but she thought she felt the grip on her arm tighten a bit. This seemed out of character for Anthony, and she wondered why he was showing her this place. He'd been very quiet about his past after joking about it that first time, and she'd assumed it was a closed door that could take years for anyone to pry open.

"He's the main reason I joined the Marine Corps," he said so quietly that at first she didn't realize he was speaking. "My mom loved him more than anything, and she raised me on stories of what a hero he was. It was after I was scouted for the CIA that I learned he'd died because of bad Intel on a mission they should never have been sent on. His death was completely meaningless in the scope of the war, as were the deaths of his entire patrol that night."

"And that's why you dedicated your life to the CIA?" she asked.

"There are so many of our men out there at any given time," he said. "When I worked for the CIA, the intelligence I gathered helped save lives and make a difference. I have to remind myself of that every now and then. It helps me deal with what was taken from me...”

"Your sight," she supplied.

He indicated that they should start walking back to the truck, and she turned to lead him between the crosses and toward the road that ran the length of the cemetery.

"It happened in Nigeria," he said. "We were there on a classified mission to gather Intel on the NDV, the Niger Delta Vigilante. There were rumors that they were planning an offensive against a foreign-controlled oil operation, and we were supposed to stay quiet and only observe. One of my guys was spotted while we were on recon and was shot in the stomach. I went in to get him and got caught in the blast of an explosive device that took out my best friend. The last thing I ever saw was my buddy getting blown to pieces. After that, it was just darkness and hospital noises."

"That's horrible," said Ashley, feeling completely helpless against the heavy mood settling over the man on her arm. "I...I don't know what to say."

"It's okay," he said, stopping to face her. "There's nothing anyone can say that will change what happened. I just thought, well, I don't know why, but it was important for you to know the story of how I came to be this way. The details are classified, and only my closest friends and family know the truth of it."

They were standing so close that Ashley could feel the warmth of his breath as he spoke. He still had his hand on her arm, as though he never wanted to let go, and to Ashley it felt like an anchor holding her there on earth. Without thinking about it, she leaned into him and kissed him on the lips, letting her body fold into his.

He kissed her back, his arms closing around her, a hand holding the back of her head. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and let out a soft whimper of pleasure as he pulled her more tightly against him. She hadn't intended for this to happen, but now that it was, she felt that everything in her life had led to this very moment.

She was shocked when he pulled sharply away, his hands holding her at arm's length.

"Ashley," he said. "I'm sorry, I can't do this. It's not appropriate for me to be taking advantage of your position as my assistant."

"It's okay, Anthony." She placed a hand on his chest. "I want this."

He broke away and flicked his collapsible cane outwards, letting the pieces click into place. "I think it would be best if we went back to the house now. This was an emotional moment, and I see no reason why it should affect our working relationship if you'd like to continue in my service."

"If that's what you really want," she replied, blinking back tears and trying not to let her feelings of rejection show in her voice.

"It's what's best," he said. His tone was clear and firm. He'd made his decision and was going to stick with it. She could see the trained marine and CIA operative in him now, his face a cool impersonal mask showing no emotion.

They walked back to the truck in silence, Anthony finding his own way with the aid of his cane. The drive home took less than fifteen minutes, yet it felt like hours sitting in that big rattling truck. She didn't know what to say that would make the situation any less awkward, and he seemed perfectly content to ride in silence. When they arrived at the house, he bid her a polite good evening and left to work on his manuscript. He made a point of saying that he'd see her the following afternoon for their regularly scheduled meeting. She could see he was working hard to pretend they'd never kissed in the cemetery.

They had kissed, however, and for a moment he'd kissed her with more passion than she'd ever dared hope for. He was suppressing his own desire to be with her, and as much as she wanted to make him believe that it was okay to take that leap with her, she'd be damned if she was going to force him to love her.

THEY MET IN HIS office at their usual time. Several days had passed since the kiss, and the spark of energy that fueled their previous editorial review sessions had fizzled out to where they needed only thirty to forty-five minutes to review the previous night's work and her suggested modifications. Their relationship was now strictly business, and his schedule had reverted back to taking meals in his room and crossing paths with her as little as possible. She sensed that he was on the verge of discontinuing their afternoon meetings, as nothing much of consequence was being achieved, and she felt he'd rather be using the time to write or exercise away his frustrations.

She tried to throw herself into her writing, but every word suddenly felt clunky on the page, and she couldn't seem to get her characters to be as exciting as they had been. The strained relationship between her and the man who'd become her mentor was bleeding into her ability to formulate a suspenseful and engaging plot. She found herself avoiding her usual blocks of writing time, choosing instead to read or go for a long walk just to get away from the house.

The house became a stuffy prison, and she took advantage of her free time to leave it as often as she could. Helene was still the same kind, sweet woman as always, and if she knew something was amiss between Ashley and Anthony, she didn't address it. The woman was always busy with cooking or cleaning, leaving Ashley feeling quite alone in the old building with its creaky floorboards and drafty windows. But rather than sitting around feeling sorry for herself, she walked into town most days to enjoy a coffee and some reading at the cafe next to the bookstore.

After eventually getting over the sting of rejection from what happened in the cemetery, Ashley realized that something would have to be done to resolve the situation. Anthony needed an assistant he could trust to bounce ideas off of, and she needed to keep this job where she was learning more about the craft of writing than school had ever taught. She longed for him to admit that he was being a fool before scooping her up in his arms and whisking her off to bed, but this was a silly fantasy and she needed to keep her expectations firmly rooted in reality. The only thing to be done about it was to talk to him. She needed to explain that she understood his position and that she no longer wanted it to affect their working relationship.

She would confront the awkwardness between them and do everything in her power to get rid of it. She would assure him that she'd been caught up in the moment, and that it really wasn't anything that should prevent them from regaining the easy-going working relationship they'd experienced before the incident. She carried the idea around for the better part of a day before finally steeling up enough nerve to speak to him prior to turning in for the night.

Ashley knocked on the door of his office, knowing full well that she was interrupting his prime writing hours. She held her breath and listened, hoping he wouldn't ignore her and try to send her away. He didn't strike her as that sort of a man, but after everything that had happened over the last week, she wasn't sure what to think anymore. The sound of footsteps let her know he was coming toward the door, and she stepped back into the hallway just as he opened it.

"Yes, Ashley?" he asked. His tone was curt, although polite enough for someone who'd been interrupted in the middle of working.

"I was hoping I could have a few minutes to talk with you?" she asked. "Can I come in?"

He looked for a moment as if he were considering telling her he'd rather not see her just then, but in the end he stepped aside and waved her into the study. "What is it you'd like to talk about?"

"Things are off between us, aren’t they?" she asked.

"Our conversations seem to have lost some of their earlier vigor," he replied. "I'd rather hoped we would find our way back to the productive conversations we'd been enjoying, but I confess that it's difficult for me to stay focused with you in the room."

"Are you angry because of what I did?" she asked, feeling like she'd underestimated just how bad the situation was.

"No, not angry," he said. His face softened and he smiled uncomfortably like a boy who'd just eaten a bitter candy and was trying to pretend he liked it. "I can't seem to stop thinking about that kiss."

"Really?" she asked.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to you, Ashley." He sat on the edge of his desk and folded his hands in front of him. "It happened during your phone interview. I've learned to tell a lot about a person from how they answer certain questions during my time in the CIA, and my blindness only helps me focus. You're an amazingly talented and beautiful woman, and I've had strong feelings for you right from the beginning."

"Is that why you hired me?" she asked.

"No. I hired you because you were the best candidate for the job. I almost didn't hire you because I was worried you'd become too much of a painful distraction." He lowered his head and turned away from her. Even sightless, it was as though he was too embarrassed to face her.

"Anthony," she said, "I don't know what this is between you and me, but I feel the same way about you. I kissed you because I've wanted to do it since you walked into our first meeting without your shirt on. You have to believe that this isn't you taking advantage of me."

She stepped towards him, grabbing his wrists and placing his hands on her waist. She then took his face in her hands and kissed him passionately. His grip on her tightened, and she felt him pull her close, only this time it was his tongue that searched hungrily between her lips.

"You're sure?" he asked, breaking their kiss but still holding her tight.

"Completely sure," she replied. Ashley reached for his shirt buttons and undid them one by one from the top down. "And I'm not leaving this room until you make love with me."

Ashley hadn't expected to fall in love with her boss when she'd accepted the position of assistant for internationally best-selling author, Anthony Lang; but after her first weeks of working for him, she quickly becomes enamored with the talent, charm, and stunning good looks of the former CIA operative turned suspense novelist.

There's only one problem. Anthony Lang is completely blind, and although this does nothing to affect Ashley's intense desire to be with him, his feelings of inadequacy render him unable to accept his own feelings for her.

Not content to watch the man she loves and admires deny himself the happiness he deserves, Ashley becomes determined to break through his tough exterior and help him awaken his heart to see the truth of his desire.