Love Lessons (6 page)

“
No
. I— Damn it.” Kelly took a sip of the beer, which was rather a hollow victory for Walter at this point. “Look, I get that it’s not special to you, but it is to me. You can make jokes about Mayberry and my perfect family if you want, but this is who I am, and I happen to like who I am, so you can just deal. I
do
want a boyfriend. I
do
want my first time—and my second, and all the ones after that—to be special. I don’t think that’s impossible, either. I’m not cynical, no. I believe there are good people out there, and I want to meet one of them and fall in love and raise a family. In fact, it’s what I’m going to do, and I don’t care what you think about my wanting that.”

Kelly looked at Walter with so much conviction it would have been beautiful if it weren’t so tragic. Where the fuck the kid thought he was going to find this Prince Charming, even at Disney U, was his first challenge. That he’d find somebody remotely close on his second try—or third, or fourth, or fiftieth—wasn’t the point. That kind of thing didn’t exist.

He couldn’t say that to Kelly, not a single word of it though, because he couldn’t work the cynicism past the lump in his throat he’d gotten from listening to that sappy, stupid speech. He couldn’t be the one to burst that bubble. Because then Red would stop smiling at him, and that would break his heart.

Walter picked up his beer, clinking it against the one Kelly gripped so desperately. “Good luck.”

He meant it too. He also knew there was no way in hell that fantasy would happen, but he hoped Red beat the odds. Fucking shame, though, because obviously the let’s-get-it-out-of-the-way, make-out session he’d been planning on angling for before bed was off the table. He supposed he could live without knowing what Kelly looked like when he came, but it seemed such a stupid waste.

He nudged Kelly’s beer again. “Drink up.” When Kelly didn’t, Walter looked back at him and sighed at the glare he was getting. “No sex parties, okay? I’m not playing monk for you, but I’m not a dog. We’ll work something out. It’ll be fine. Now drink your beer.”

Kelly kept glaring. “You’re mocking me somehow. I can tell, and I don’t like it.”

“I’m not mocking you. You can do what you like.”

“But
you
don’t like it.”

“It doesn’t matter what I think, does it? Who knows. Maybe I’m wrong and your way is right.” He snorted and refilled his own glass. “Hell, you’d be number two, because so far Cara’s Exhibit A.”

“Your friend who you lived with?”

“The very same. Engaged to the guy she met here, and they’re off in Northbrook picking out china patterns. Happy as little clams in a sandbar. It’s not even disgusting, which in itself is disgusting.”

Finally, Kelly smiled again. “See? It happens.”

“Yeah. So does a lightning strike.” He held up a hand before Kelly could say anything. “Don’t even start about lightning rods. I get it. I just don’t buy it, and it’s not for me in any event. I’m going to get a good job, screw my way through whatever metropolitan area I live in, then buy myself a boy toy to amuse me in my old age. It’s all arranged. You can Skype me and show me the cutesy baby you and Prince Charming adopted, and I’ll send her extravagant presents. It’ll be wonderful.”

Not just a smile but a laugh. “Okay.”

Walter glanced at his phone. “Right. They’re going to start carding in half an hour, and while the owner might love me, he won’t stand for you not even having a decent fake during rush hour, so chop-chop, Red. We’ll go find you something suitable tomorrow. Unless, of course, you’d rather continue the traditional newbie freshman activities.”

Kelly flipped him off. “I’ll stick with the Cynical Atheist Orientation plan, thanks.”

“Good.” Walter watched Kelly’s throat work as he drained his beer, feeling the beauty of it burn in his groin. Fucking, fucking shame about that sex, because they’d have had to do it twice, it’d have been that good. Whatever. There were plenty of cute freshmen to fuck. It would take him a month and a half just to get through the Grade A’s.

Still, such a shame that the cream of the crop would be one bunk away and holding out for Mr. Right.

Eventually he’ll come around to realizing he’d do better to settle for Mr. Right Now.
Walter smiled at the thought.

Chapter Five

Rose texted Kelly that first night to make sure he was okay, and when he told her about Walter being his roommate, she flipped out.

OMG MUST DISH. I’ll meet you for breakfast in your dorm. Be there at 8 with details.

Bewildered and slightly uneasy, Kelly went to the cafeteria the next day as requested. Rose waited there, her hair hidden under a leather cap, her face scrubbed clean of makeup and still slightly pale from sleep. Her eyes, however, danced. “I can’t
believe
you’re rooming with Casanova. How the hell did that happen?”

“Casanova?”

“Oh, so you’re going to tell me you
didn’t
notice Walter Lucas is sex on a stick and the biggest flirt this side of the Mississippi River?”

His cheeks burned. “I did.”

Rose studied Kelly a moment, and then her eyes widened. “Holy shit, he didn’t sleep with you?”

“No! We’re roommates.”

“Trust me, that wouldn’t stop him. There’s no way you’re not his type. You’re practically a poster child for what he usually eye-fucks on the dance floor at Moe’s. He didn’t even make a pass?”

It was hard to talk while being this embarrassed. “I suppose maybe he did. But it was just flirting. Nothing happened.”

Kelly wondered if he should be disappointed.

“Huh. Well, I know he’s not dating anyone. Ritche Hall would be abuzz.” When it was Kelly’s turn to be confused, she elaborated. “That’s the communications building. We share a major, and an advisor, Dr. Williams.” She dug into her hash browns. “Walter won’t join the Philosophy Club, though.”

Kelly had no idea what the Philosophy Club was, but he knew about Walter’s advisor. “Williams. Yes, Walter talked about him last night, quite a bit before we went to sleep. I have him for Intro to Humanities.”

“You’ll love him. He’s
amazing
, and not just in the classroom. His children are adorable—two boys and two girls, all of them under ten. His wife is a nurse at Danby Community Hospital. She works the night shift part-time so she can be at home with the kids.” Her face clouded. “Not everyone thinks Williams is awesome, though. He’s incredibly harsh when it comes to grades, really makes you work to get high marks.” She put down her fork and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “He’s our advisor for Philosophy Club too because we only have one actual philosophy prof, and he’s a dick. Williams is the best. He’s up for tenure this year, and if he doesn’t get it, I’m going to personally rip that fucking dean of faculty a new asshole.”

Kelly pulled Rose back to the topic that truly interested him. “So you’re telling me Walter sleeps around?”

She laughed. “Yeah, you could put it that way. Just the boys, much to my chagrin, because holy crap would I like to tap that ass. Not sure how he’s going to manage it doubling in a single unless you’re incredibly understanding or into voyeurism.” While Kelly got more embarrassed, she eyed him speculatively. “I still can’t believe he didn’t try to sleep with you.”

“I wouldn’t have let him, and he knows that.” When Rose’s eyebrows lifted, Kelly fixed his gaze on his coffee and soy milk. “I told you I was just coming out.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t—
Whoa.
You mean…you haven’t been with anyone, either?”

“Why does that shock everyone so much?”

“Because you’re eighteen years old. Virgins are a rare breed anywhere, but at your age, you’re practically a unicorn.”

“Well how was I supposed to go about it? I didn’t want to sleep with the girls, and it was a pretty damn small town. Fooling around with a guy would be front-page news in a hot minute.”

“You landed in a damn good place to start your exploration.”

“I’m
not sleeping
with Walter.”

She rolled her eyes. “
Hope
is what I meant. A lot of gay boys to get your feet wet with.”

“Oh.” Cheeks burning, Kelly picked up his coffee. “I knew that.”

Kelly had breakfast with Rose a lot. Not always, but they made kind of an appointment to meet at least once a week. When he didn’t eat with Rose, he usually ate with Walter.

While Kelly had to admit Walter was right about a lot of things about Hope—unfortunately including the less-than-allergen-friendly menus—in general Hope was still a pretty good fit. He liked his classes, which were all gen-ed plus a few business classes his dad had recommended. As advertised, however, Dr. Williams was great. Quirky, irreverent and absolutely unafraid to share his opinions. He was also, it turned out, Lutheran. Kelly thought he’d ask where he went to church sometime to make his mother happy.

Unfortunately what Walter was most right about was Porter. The means Kelly’s fellow residents devised to torment him hurt as much as they made him a ball of tension. They stared at him in the restrooms, looking like they were ready to pound him into the wall, though they never did. If one of his fellow floor mates was in line for a shower behind Kelly, he waited so close to the curtain Kelly jumped and cried out when he pulled it aside. If they were loitering in the hall when Kelly passed, they blocked his path or sat on the floor and stuck their legs out so he had to weave through them to get to his room.

Not if Walter was with him, though. Then they simply grumbled under their breaths and glared. Kelly wasn’t sure what magic Walter wielded, but he was glad for it.

The Porter problem was kind of a focused example of an overall stumbling block Kelly hadn’t ever anticipated finding at Hope. While Kelly made a lot of friends, they were mostly acquaintances who collected his cell number and friended him on Facebook and Twitter. Occasionally he’d meet them at the campus deli or at Opie’s. They all felt slightly flat, though. The only people he really had any connection to at all were Rose and Walter.

It was so not what he’d expected to happen at Hope. He’d anticipated a horde of friends, sort of like high school but bigger. He wasn’t sure why that wasn’t happening, nor did he know what to do about it. Forget dating. Sure, there were guys who were cute, and Kelly wanted to get to know them, maybe even ask them out, but he had no idea how.

“Just go up and talk to them,” Rose advised when he confessed his problem one morning over oatmeal. “Strike up a conversation. Don’t wait for them to come to you.”

Was that was he was doing? Kelly frowned, replaying his last few social outings in his head. He’d talked to people, yes, but had he initiated any conversation? He wasn’t sure.

“Look, you’ve asked girls out, right? As cover in high school? It’s the same thing, just backward, and this time you mean it.”

“I didn’t ask girls out,” Kelly told her. “They asked me.”

Rose lifted one eyebrow. “Okay, well, buck up, soldier. It’s your turn.”

“
How do I do it
?”

“Walk up to a guy. Say hello. If the conversation goes well, ask if you could get together sometime. Get his number. Set up a meeting. Ta-da, instant date.”

It certainly sounded easy enough. Now all Kelly had to do was work up the nerve to try it. It was Wednesday, so Walter would take him to Moe’s. He could practice there.

Except as they walked across campus toward the bar that night, Kelly began to panic at the idea of what he was about to do.

Walter noticed. “You okay?” He looked concerned, which only made Kelly feel more ridiculous.

“I’m fine.” He fished for a distraction topic. “So you know Rose, right?”

“Manchester? Oh yeah. She’s cool. Keeps to herself, and sometimes she seems sad or unusually tense, but nothing too weird. Though that could be her chosen field. She’s going to be a journalist, God help her. She’s never going to get a job.”

They started walking again. “What’s your major? I guess I never actually asked.”

“General communications. That’s all you can really do in undergrad. I’m figuring I’ll go into PR or something, probably with a little graduate school to polish things up. No idea where yet, though.” He nudged Kelly with his elbow. “Is this a fishing expedition for Mr. Right? That why you so nervous?”

Was he that transparent? Kelly dug his hands deeper into his pockets. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Walter grinned. “I’ll keep an eye out for a nice trout.”

They settled into a corner near the bar. Walter leaned against the wall, motioning for Kelly to take the chair beside him. When Kelly sat down, Walter’s hand rested on his shoulder. “I’m getting a beer. Want one, Red?”

“Just a soda,” Kelly said.

He patted Kelly’s shoulder and leaned behind him to speak to the bartender. Kelly saw Rose across the room and waved to her. As he put his hand back down, he caught a girl standing beside him staring at his ring.

“You’re wearing your class ring?” she asked in the same tones she might say
you went out naked?

Kelly tucked the stone into his palm, but Walter captured his hand, drawing it to his lips to kiss the metal. “Yes, he wears it all the time. Pretty soon he’s going to give it to me so everyone will know we’re going steady.”