Love Letters (17 page)

“
Why didn’t you end up with Ignacio?” Chloe asked. “His letters seemed so … I don’t know, powerful, serious.”

Suzanne shrugged. “Because it seemed like a fantasy. I loved him so much. And I’ll admit that he was my true love, but I knew deep inside we could never be together,” Suzanne said, looking away.

“
What do you mean that it was a fantasy? Why did you write to him and give him hope if you knew deep down that you couldn’t be together? Why
couldn’t
you be together?”

Suzanne shook her head. “He was there and I was here. We come from two different worlds.”

“
Mom, what are you saying? What about the stories you hear of people from other parts of the globe who fall in love and have successful marriages? Didn’t Ignacio say that his term was over and that he would wait for you at the pier? He also said that he was able to get a student visa to study Architecture.”

Suzanne didn’t answer.

“
Mom, there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“
Chloe, that was a long time ago. We can’t change what happened. I made my decision. What am I supposed to do about it now?”

Chloe tapped her chin. “Something’s not right here. You said that your parents were very strict. Is it because of them that you didn’t meet Ignacio when he returned from his tour of duty?”

Suzanne looked away. “Why do you want to know?”

Chloe sighed. “Mom, when I read those letters, I felt like I was reading about a different person. He said things in those letters that I never knew about you. He mentioned that you wanted to be a Broadway actress. Why didn’t you ever say anything about it?”

“
We all have dreams, Chloe. It doesn’t mean they will come true,” Suzanne said.

“
I understand, Mom, but I just want to know why.”

Suzanne pursed her lips. “My father didn’t know that I was writing to Ignacio. My mother was aware of it, but she didn’t think it was serious.”

Chloe nodded.

“
One day my father caught me writing to him and demanded that I show Ignacio’s letters to him. He saw the first few letters and was very angry with me. He said that sailors like him have women in every port.”

“
Did you believe him?”

“
He said he would never speak to me again if I wrote to him. I cried for months because that was the same period I hadn’t heard from Ignacio for some time,” Suzanne said. “I thought my father was right.”

“
So what happened next?”

“
During those times, we had a lot of parties and that’s when I met your father. It was the same time Ignacio stopped writing. Your father was a very hard-working and intelligent man, and much older than me. He was quite established and held a high position in the company he worked for.”

Chloe took a deep breath.

“
My friends convinced me that I would be a fool if I didn’t go out with him, so I did.”

“
Even Aunt Jill?”

Suzanne chuckled. “Aunt Jill is like you. She was with me at the party. She’s a dreamer, and she always told me that Ignacio was the man for me.”

“
Did you like Dad when you met him?” Chloe asked.

“
I found him very smart and funny. He was a decent man and my parents loved him too,” Suzanne said. “He taught me a lot of things, and took me to places I’ve never been. Soon I told myself that this is the man I’m going to marry.”

“
Did you forget about Ignacio?” Chloe crossed her legs.

“
Of course not, but like I said earlier, Ignacio was a fantasy. When you want something you can’t have, it’s like a strong magnet. It can come to control you.”

“
What was the difference between your feelings for Dad and Ignacio?”

“
Being with your father gave me a safe feeling. I knew deep down that he would be a wonderful husband and father. I was confident that he would take care of me and our family.”

“
So it was different from the love you had for Ignacio?” Chloe said.

Suzanne leaned forward, her hands encircling her cup. “There are different kinds of love, and each relationship is unique.”

“
But Ignacio wrote to you again and explained why he stopped writing.”

“
Yes, I remember that day well.” Suzanne wiped fresh tears. “Your father had dinner at our place that evening where he proposed and I agreed to become his wife. Later that night my mother gave me Ignacio’s letter and didn’t tell my father about it. I only got to read the letter before I went to bed.”

“
Oh my goodness, Mom. Are you telling me that if you would have read the letter sooner, you would have said no to Dad?” Chloe cried.

Suzanne made a fist. “What was I supposed to do? Things were going great with your father and me, and here comes Ignacio out of the blue. What did he expect? What if my father was right, that he had a woman in every port? I couldn’t risk what I had with your father.”

“
He wrote you two more times and in his last letter he said that…”

“
Yes, that he would wait for me from dawn till dusk. It was my birthday,” she said with a watery smile. “I spent it with your father who had set up a surprise party with beautiful gifts. I was crying most of the time, wishing I was somewhere else. They all thought I was crying tears of joy. Only Jill knew the truth.”

Chloe leaned over to embrace her mom. “Chloe, you ruined my mascara. I haven’t cried like this in a long time.”

“
Mom, tell me the truth. I know that deep in your heart you knew Ignacio was sincere and faithful to you.”

Suzanne swallowed hard. “Please, Chloe, this is a painful memory. I don’t want to think about it.”

“
But you could have called off your wedding with Dad and met this guy. Why didn’t you?”

“
It’s easy for you to say. I’m not like you who would jump in a lake without looking first to see if there were crocodiles. What if he was taking me for a ride all that time?”

“
But didn’t you want to know?”

“
My life was complicated as it was and I knew that your father would always be a good man,” Suzanne said, fingering her napkin. “Chloe, for what it’s worth, I would have never had you if I hadn’t married your father.”

Tears blurred Chloe’s vision. “Did Dad know that you wanted to be a Broadway actress? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Suzanne retrieved a Kleenex from her purse and blew her nose. “It was a dream I had when I was a little girl. My sisters and I would sing and act in plays at school.”

“
Do you regret not pursuing that dream?”

“
Chloe, your questions are starting to overwhelm me. Life is about choices and I made mine. Do you honestly think I could become a Broadway actress?” Suzanne smiled.

“
You never know unless you try,” Chloe said sipping her tea.

“
You have a point, but once you come to my age your dreams change. When I was with your father, I enjoyed entertaining at home and meeting new people. Nowadays, people get paid to do what I did.”

“
Yeah, I see you more as an event planner or a public relations manager over a Broadway actress.” Chloe grinned.

“
That’s right, and now that I’m sixty I tend to find more meaningful things to be involved in, which is why I support this organization.”

“
I understand that, but are you trying to tell me that there was never a moment when you sat down and wondered what life would have been like had you chosen to be with Ignacio instead of Dad?”

“
Of course I did. In fact, I still do, but what can I do about it?”

“
Have you ever tried looking for him? Is that why you went on the trip to South America?”

Suzanne shook her head. “Even if I did, I don’t think I would ever find him.”

“
Why not? You should never give up hope. Who knows, he may be out there searching for you.”

Suzanne removed her blazer and scarf. “Chloe, you read too many fairytales. You need to realize that’s not the way life works.”

“
I don’t know about you, Mom, but I believe in destiny. You need to read the story of this couple who found each other after more than forty years. Miracles do happen, Mom,” Chloe said, pointing to the newspaper article, her thoughts drifting again to Josh.

“
You’re definitely a dreamer, Chloe,” Suzanne said pushing the newspaper aside. “I prefer to just take each day as it comes. I don’t want to complicate my life.”

Chloe excused herself to go to the bathroom. From the corner of her eye she saw that her mom was once again looking at the letters. When Chloe came back her mother was crying. “I’m sorry that I brought up Ignacio.”

“
It’s all right, Chloe. It’s nice to remember that we had a wonderful relationship. Even if I only spent five days with him, they were the five best days of my life,” Suzanne said. “I never felt so free and open with anyone the way I did with him. We shared something very special. These letters only confirm that.”

Chloe nodded, thinking of Josh. She and her mom had so much in common, and while her mom had given up her true love, Chloe wasn’t sure she could do the same. Yet on the other hand, she wasn’t ready to let Richard go either.

“
He was something, Chloe, and if you were to have met him you couldn’t have agreed more. Wait,” Suzanne said, snapping her fingers. “He sent me a photo. Have you seen it?”

Oh no, how am I going to tell her that I’m having it restored at Walgreens to upload onto her Facebook account that she doesn’t know exists?
“It probably slipped out of the box. I’ll check it later.”

“
All right, now can we talk about something else besides my past?”

Chloe nodded and went to the kitchen to cut two slices of chocolate cake.

“
Thanks! A quick chocolate fix is just what I needed,” Suzanne said when Chloe came back.

“
Mom, are you a hundred percent sure that you’re not curious about Ignacio? Why did you go to South America?” Chloe asked.

“
You don’t give up, do you?” Her mother sighed and suddenly appeared small, vulnerable. “Jill and I had been planning to go to South America for three years, and it finally happened. But we didn’t go to find Ignacio, if that’s what you’re getting at. And I would prefer to leave Ignacio in the past where he belongs.” Suzanne flashed her a meaningful look. “I’ve had a good life and I can’t complain.”

“
What if he’s searching for you, and he finds you?” Chloe asked.

“
Chloe, you’ve always complained about my nagging. Now you’re doing the same thing. How would I know if he’s the same person I fell in love with all those years ago? People change. We all do. We can’t keep living in the past. It’s time to move on.”

Chloe didn’t force the issue, but she noticed that Suzanne had tucked the letters inside her purse.

***

Richard had arrived before six o’ clock that evening at Chloe’s place. Chloe gave him a big hug when she opened the door. Her palms were sweating when she brought him to the living room to meet her mother. He was taking them both to dinner at Cetrella, which was along Main Street in Half Moon Bay. “Mom, I’d like you to meet my fiancé, Richard.”

“
It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Suzanne said, eyeing Richard’s blue tooth on his ear.

“
Sure thing,” he said, shaking her hand.

Suzanne pointed to his blue tooth. “Do you always use that?”

Chloe bit her lip. “Richard gets calls all the time.”

“
It’s all right, Chloe. I can remove it,” Richard said.

“
You don’t have to.” But Suzanne continued to stare at him.

Chloe walked ahead towards the door. “Shall we?”

As Chloe got in Richard’s black five series beamer, it was obvious to her that Richard had passed by the car wash to impress her mom. She saw Suzanne waiting for her door to be opened, but Richard only unlocked the car from the inside. She remembered how Josh opened the door for her and escorted her to her doorstep.

On the way to the restaurant, Suzanne turned to Richard. “Chloe tells me you’re a loan agent.”

“
She’s right,” Richard said, making a left turn.

“
How’s your line of work doing in today’s economy?” Suzanne asked.

“
Surprisingly good. I can’t complain,” Richard answered, and then put his blue tooth back over his ear to take an incoming call. “Yes, Marcy, I have all the documents ready and escrow will be first thing Monday morning. You’re welcome.”

Suzanne shook her head again.

“
I’m sorry; I had to take an important call. Where were we again? Right, the economy. You see, Suzanne, while others see things as a crisis, I like to look at it as an opportunity. We’re never going to get a time like this where rates are low and prices are a steal.”

“
But our country is in so much trouble and if it weren’t for these loan sha—”

Chloe’s eyes widened. “Mom, when was the last time you ate at Cetrella?”

“
More than two years ago.” Suzanne gave Chloe an annoyed look for changing the subject.

Chloe began biting her nails. The evening wasn’t going well, and she only hoped they could get it over with soon.

“
Mrs. Rogers,” Richard said, looking at Suzanne from his rearview mirror. “I’m so glad that Chloe has reconciled with you. I made her promise that I would meet my future-mother-in-law before she walked down the aisle.”