LOVE LIFE and VOWS (13 page)

“Alright. What did you want to talk about?”

“You. How are you really doing?”

“I’m doing…I’m better.”

Aunt Shirley reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

“And, you and Jason?”

Vicky couldn’t look her in the eyes, “We’re fine.”

“Are you sure? Because from what I can see you two have barely been in the same room with each other for any length of time.”

“Auntie…we’re both doing…the best that we can.”

“Don’t let the distance grow too much further.”

Vicky whispered, “I don’t know how to stop it. He won’t…he won’t talk to me.”

“Make him talk to you.”

“I’ve tried. I just hope with a little more time he’ll be able to forgive me for everything.”

“Forgive you? Forgive you for what child?”

Vicky couldn’t hold back the avalanche of tears “For so many things but mostly for losing his baby. He blames me, I know he does.”

“That’s silly talk.”

“No it isn’t! He won’t touch me and can’t even look at me. On top of everything he has to deal with all of my drama with Ryan. One minute I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life. The next, I’m living in a nightmare. Having my name dragged through the mud every day in the papers is horrible and it can’t be easy for him either. It would be too much to bear for anyone.”

“Yes. You and Jason are going through a lot. And, it’s a shame Ryan is using Angel as a pawn in his political game but in a marriage you can’t let anything or anyone come between you.”

Vicky reached for her phone, “I’m afraid maybe someone already has.”

“What are you talking about?”

She opened the photo that was sent to her the night before and showed it to her aunt. Shirley looked at the photo.

Vicky felt that sick to her stomach feeling again, “That was Bridget the woman I told you about. They dated for a long time before I came along.”

“Hmm.”

Vicky checked the phone to make sure her aunt was looking at the same photo she’d seen. “’Hmm’. That’s it? Are you looking at the same picture that I did? They were looking lovingly into each other’s eyes!”

“Yes. ‘Hmm’. Is that what you really see when you look at that photo? Because I don’t see Jason looking at her lovingly. He looks tired, exhausted even and sad. You and Jason have had to deal with an unspeakable tragedy. But, if it’s one thing I know is that man loves you. He’s hurting. Find a way to reach him. He doesn’t need space. He needs you. Love him through this pain.”

Shirley reached out to hug her niece. Vicky held onto her tightly. Shirley just hoped that something she said got through.

Sandy left the house for an early morning run. She wanted to get her workout over with before Vicky woke up. She also needed the time to clear her mind. Never in a million years would she have thought she’d love Atlanta as much as she did. Even though it was so different from Minnesota, Sandy felt less burdened here considering her life was a mess.

Her job was no longer fulfilling and her love life was a disaster. Although she didn’t regret it, making love with Franklin had been a mistake. She hadn’t really seen or talked to him since then. He’d called her several times but she’d let the calls go to voice-mail. If he really wanted to see or talk to her, she was only three floors down from his. It had been hard to put him out of her mind but she was making progress. But, she knew seeing him at the hearing on Friday was still going to be difficult.

In the past when she was struggling with a problem she could bury herself in work but even that didn’t hold the same appeal. As a matter of fact, she’d been thinking about it for a while, what it would be like to just leave everything behind and start over somewhere fresh. Maybe even Atlanta.

Problems follow you everywhere if you don’t deal with them. She needed to figure out why she kept choosing the same type of guys; men who weren’t emotionally available. First, there was Joshua and then Franklin.

Even though Jason and Vicky were going through a rough patch she wanted what they had. They genuinely loved each other. Sandy thought that person might have been Franklin but obviously her instincts were more than just a little off.

She didn’t understand what even happened between them? At one point, he really seemed to care about her. It was always in the back of her mind that she was just a rebound but Franklin always made her feel like she was so much more.

She took a deep breath and thought to herself, “Did he? Or, did I want the relationship so bad that I convinced myself that I wasn’t?”

As much as it hurt, she was going to have to close that chapter in her life and move on. Sandy turned the corner at a full on sprint back to Jason and Vicky’s street she ran into what felt like a brick wall. She went crashing to the ground.

She yelped, “Ow!”

Unfazed, the Mack truck that ran into her bent down to help her up “Are you okay?”

Stars were swirling around her head.

“I’m fine, I just need a minute.”

“I didn’t see you coming around the corner. I’m pretty familiar with everyone in this neighborhood and nobody is usually out this early.”

Sandy rubbed her forehead to clear her addled brain, “So, you’re saying this is my fault?”

“Not at all…I didn’t see you. That was all I was saying.”

Sandy let him help her up but she was a little unsteady, “I can’t tell if that was an apology or not.”

“It wasn’t but I definitely owe you one. I’m very sorry. Your legs are a little wobbly. Let me walk you home. Where is home?”

“No thank you. I’m fine. I’m just around the corner.”

It took an extra moment for Sandy to catch her balance but once she did she walked the rest of the way to Jason’s house.

Little did she know that the man who literally knocked the wind out of her waited and watched until he saw her turn onto Jason’s property before finishing his morning run.

It was only late afternoon and Franklin was exhausted. He’d left work early telling his personal assistant to only forward pressing issues to his attention. Trying to fill in the gaps for Jason and dealing with everything life had thrown his way over the last year proved harder to deal with than he’d let on.

As he sat in front of his big screen television watching the news, he absentmindedly picked up his cell to call Sandy. The call went straight to her voice-mail. What was he doing? Why was he calling her anyway? Franklin knew she wasn’t going to answer. She hadn’t answered any of his other messages and texts.

What if she did answer? What was he going to say to her? Was he going to tell her that he missed her like crazy? That wasn’t a lie. He did miss her. But, he couldn’t give her what she deserved.

Franklin thought he had loved April for a long time. He was even prepared to spend the rest of his life with her.

After she’d mysteriously broken off their engagement and moved out of his home, he’d done everything to win her back. Yet, she wouldn’t even talk to him. He’d spent months suffering in silence. He didn’t understand why all the women in his life at some point seemed to leave him.

Franklin wasn’t a man who wore his feelings on his sleeve. He still carried the scars of his childhood even though they were no longer visible. Having to hide all the bruises, beatings, and abuse his father handed out to both him and his mother taught him well how to mask his pain. He was so good at hiding it that Jason hadn’t even known.

The abuse only got worse after his mother left. Wondering what ever happened to her used to be a heavy burden. Not so much anymore. However, every so often Franklin still felt the loss of not having his mother in his life.

Maybe that was why it hurt so much when April left. He’d been abandoned…again. Then, out of nowhere, she called saying she was back in town asking to meet for dinner. Of course, he jumped at the chance to see her again. Hoping she would explain what he did wrong? Why she left him?

They’d met at what was once their favorite restaurant. She was just as beautiful as he remembered. Yet, when he saw her, the feelings that had always accompanied being around her was missing. Franklin told himself that it was because she’d hurt him and it would just take some time to get over it. He’d been playing that meeting over and over again in his head.

As she approached the table Franklin stood up. April walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if she hadn’t walked out of his life and broken him all those months ago.

She flashed a brilliant smile “It’s good to see you Franklin.”

Franklin cleared his throat, “It’s good to see you too.”

She sat down at the table while Franklin just stood there watching her with his feet rooted to the floor as if this was all happening from outside of his body.

Her smile faltered slightly.

“Was this a bad idea?”

Franklin realized he was gaping and quickly tried to recover from the awkward greeting. He coolly sat down and tried to regain his composure.

“No. Of course not. It’s just really good to see you. It’s been awhile.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me.”

The waiter interrupted them when he filled their glasses up with wine. After he’d left Franklin spoke.

“That…could never happen.”

April smile’s spread across her face.

They spent the rest of the evening making small talk. Franklin had a million questions he needed answered but he didn’t want to scare her off. So, he forced himself to be patient. Throughout the meal Franklin found his mind drifting off; Flashes of someone else’s smile…Sandy’s smile.

After a couple of hours of small talk, April hadn’t even tried to explain herself. It was as if she wanted to just gloss over the fact she’d left him months before their wedding. Franklin’s mind must have drifted off again because he’d missed whatever it was that she was laughing at.

Franklin blurted out, “April, what happened between us? Why did you leave me?”

Her smile quickly vanished. Her hazel eyes darted all around the room. She looked everywhere but at him.

The moments seemed so long before April sighed deeply and spoke very softly.

“Franklin…I…I don’t know what to say. Nothing I could tell you would be a satisfactory answer.”

Franklin moved his empty plate to the side and rested his elbows on the table. “Try me.”

Right on queue April was able to summon the tears. “Everything seemed to be happening so fast. I just panicked!” She reached out to touch Franklin’s fingers that were laced together. “I never stopped loving you though Franklin. Please believe that! I thought once we got engaged things would change. That you’d be willing to spend more time with me and share more of yourself with me. But, you didn’t. You were so married to your work and the Rutherfords. I just didn’t know where I fit or if there was even room in your heart for me. I was afraid that would never change.”

Franklin could actually almost understand that. Hadn’t he had his own doubts? He was terrified that he wouldn’t be a good husband and father. That he’d be just like his father.

“Why didn’t you just talk to me? We could have worked through it…together.”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t understand. I know I hurt you but I just hope I have I lost you forever Franklin.”

When Franklin hesitated for a moment April had a silly notion that maybe he’d found someone else. Could he have really found someone else in the months she’d been gone?

“Franklin, I’d like for us to try again? I’m not scared anymore. Unless…you’ve found someone else?”

“April…I…I was seeing someone. And, I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

April began to remove her hands from resting lightly on top of his. “Oh, I see.”

He stopped her from removing them “No, you don’t. I can’t make any promises but I know that it’s good to be here with you right now. All I can promise you is right now.”

She looked up at him with glassy eyes as he bore deeply into hers. Franklin was always so hard for April to read but for a moment she’d seen vulnerability in his eyes.

In that moment, April wasn’t sure but hoped she could win him back. As long as he never found out the real reason she’d left and the real reason she’d come back…she had a chance.

She blinked a few times, “I’m just grateful you’re willing to give me right now then.”

Franklin and April spent most of the weekend together. Yet, even though he’d spent the entire weekend with her and they’d had a good time, it was missing something. They laughed but it wasn’t as hearty, the silent moments were a little uneasy, and there were sparks between them but not fireworks. As a matter of fact, Franklin found himself thinking about Sandy almost the entire time.

For the past couple of months Vicky hadn’t wanted to get out of bed let alone get dressed unless it was absolutely necessary. Well, today it was necessary. She was on a mission. It was time to bridge the distance between her and Jason. She wanted to feel the closeness they’d once shared. Hopefully, Aunt Shirley was right. Vicky needed Aunt Shirley to be right. No matter what… she loved Jason and was going to prove to him how sorry she was for everything.

Vicky showered and changed into some actual clothes. It was time to put away the pajamas and do something with her unruly hair. Her bed was cluttered with discarded shirts, jeans, and dresses.

It took more time than she wanted to find something decent to wear. Standing in front of the full length mirror in nothing but her underwear is when she realized the considerable amount of weight she’d lost. Vicky smoothed her hands over her stomach. It still hurt that there was no more baby. The pain was almost unbearable.

Vicky inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, and encouraged herself.

“Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I can do this.”

After taking some time to calm herself she was able to continue. Vicky held up to her body a cottony- soft yellow maxi dress. The color did a good job of hiding the dullness of her caramel skin.