Love Lift Me (4 page)

Gravity
seemed to shift and felt myself being thrust out of my seat and into the gritty
aisle. I grimaced at a sudden, bright flare of pain on my elbow, but there was
little time for reaction. The sound of water seemed to be everywhere, spraying
up with great force along the bottom of the floor and under the skidding tires
as we took on a sideways direction.

I
wanted to call out. It wouldn’t have helped me. All I could do was attempt to
shield my head as I tumbled around unsteadily on the floor. There was another
loud bang, followed by the sensation that we were sliding off the road and into
the grass. Everything tilted upwards. I slammed hard against something…or
someone. With my fingers wrapped around the sharp edges of the metal anchors on
the bottom of my seat, I felt my legs lift up above me as the bus surrendered
to momentum and rolled over.

Everything
was circling around me for an instant in slow motion. My heart beat once and
then time burst ahead with incredible speed. Crashing of metal and breaking of
glass surrounded me in chorus, along with the panicked shouts of the other
passengers. It was screaming that I’d heard that first time.
How could I
have mistaken it for laughter?

My
fingers lost their purchase and I was in the air. Pain came to me for an
instant and then I was swept away, into the darkness.

Five

I
hardly remembered anything past the few blurry images of being trapped in the
burning wreckage or being pulled out of it by Shane. When next I woke, I found
myself drugged and tired, lying on a bed with stark white sheets that were pulled
up to my neck.

My
entire body ached like never before. I weakly traced one hand down my arm and
touched the wires which ran between the machine that hung beside my bed and the
sticky connectors fixed on my chest. On the inside of my elbow, there was the
sore feeling of an IV catheter that had been in place for several days.

We
crashed…

I
opened my eyes and peered around the room blearily. The hospital-issue,
off-white horizontal blinds had been drawn to the haze of early morning
outside. Hunched over on a chair in the corner, with his head down and his face
hidden beneath a work-soiled baseball cap, was my father.

“D-daddy?”

He
came awake with a start and looked over at me like he might have been dreaming.
It looked like he hadn’t had a moment’s rest in days. Tired, darkened bags hung
under his still-gleaming blue eyes and his chin and cheeks were covered in a
thick layer of graying stubble. Once I tried to smile and reach out for him, the
tiredness disappeared from his face and he rushed to my side to give me the
lightest, most cautious hug I’d ever received.

“Don’t
wanna squeeze ya too hard, darlin’. ‘Fraid I might hurt you. Goodness me, I’m
so glad you’re ok.” He held me there for a moment and I breathed in the smell
of his old, dusty jacket; the scent of fresh hay and the farm where I’d grown
up. “Mercy, Kat. We was so worried ‘bout you. Your momma near ‘bout got into a
fistfight when the doctor said we couldn’t come back to see you earlier. And then
after that, we started to think you might never wake up.”

“Momma?”
I asked groggily as he pulled away. “Did she get her surgery? Where is she?”

“She
did, and she’s at the house. Doin’ fine considerin’ what she’s been through and
all. I didn’t want to wake her up jus’ yet – she’d been sitting here with me
ever since they brought you back out yesterday, least till I took her home last
night for a rest.”

“I’m…I’m
sorry I missed it. I tried…” I stammered, wanting to explain.

“Pay
it no mind, Lil’ Bit. Your momma went under the knife right before we heard
about what happened. It was all over the news, and I saw it, but heck, I didn’t
know you was on the dang-blamed bus till a man called and tol’ us later on.”

“A
man?” I thought of the one I’d met.
Shane
.
Was he alright?

“Heck,
I was still wonderin’ why you hadn’t got home yet for your momma’s surgery when
he called. Ain’t like you to be late for somethin’ like that. I musta left a
trail in the floor from pacing all over that waiting room.”

“What
man called you?” I asked.

“Oh,
some feller from the hospital here in Jonesboro. Said ya’ll done had an
accident. I hadn’t even left the hospital with your momma in Wilmington yet
when he called. We drove out here quick as we could.”

The
corners of my mouth turned down a little further. I looked out the sliding
glass doors and watched one of the ladies at the nursing station as she busied
herself with something. In a messy pile of blankets on the floor to my right
was my bra, which had somehow survived the accident, along with the purse which
I’d carried along for the trip. On a nearby table, still in one piece with some
new cracks in the screen, was my phone. Someone had thoughtfully plugged it in
and the green light on top was flashing. That thing was as stubborn as me in
refusing to die.

I’d
check it later. The rest of my stuff was probably strewn out across an entire
two-mile stretch of Interstate Forty. I didn’t even want to think about my
favorite shirt or the shredded, bloody jeans I’d been wearing; they had probably
been cut off a few seconds after the ambulance crew wheeled me into the ER.

“How
long have I been here?” I asked numbly.

My
father pulled his chair closer and settled into the stiff cushions. Before he
answered, he blew out a sigh and visibly relaxed. “Two,
no
, three days. You
lost a lot of blood. They gave you an uh, a transfusion. Doc said you hit your
head real hard too, but it won’t that bad. Concussion, he reckons. Nothing
worse there. Stitched you right up. Mostly lots of little cuts and bruises. The
big thing was your leg.”

I
strained to pull myself forward and up in the bed. “My leg?”

“Be
careful, honey. The nurse was workin’ on you a minute ago.”

Simply
moving had never been so difficult. I strained forward until I was sitting up,
mostly straight. “I just want to see.”

“They
had to take you to the operating room, Lil’ Bit. Doctor said you nicked an
artery or somethin’ in the wreck.”

I
peeled back the white sheet and gasped. My leg was still thankfully in one
piece, but a crude, curving line of stapled incisions extended for several
inches along the inside of my thigh to just past my knee.

“Hold
on,” said another voice, this one the nurse I’d seen earlier. She stepped into
the room and began going through one of the large red, plastic boxes in the corner.
“Don’t touch it, please. We still need to finish changing your dressing.” To my
relief, it didn’t hurt when she gently applied the bandage and taped it down.
“There we go. Glad to see you’re fully awake. You’ve been out of it since you
came from surgery yesterday.”

I
felt embarrassed, wondering how many people had seen me naked or if I’d said
anything in my sensitive state. The stuff some people said under anesthesia
would normally qualify them for a trip to the loony bin.

“Well,
that’s everything for now. How’s your pain? Do you need something for it?” the
nurse questioned.

“It’s
not too bad. Mostly just sore.”

“The
morphine should be wearing off over the next hour or so, but you can
self-administer it if the pain gets too bad. Just press the green button
hanging on the side rail. Do you need anything else?” she asked sweetly from
the doorway.

Just
like a nurse
,
I thought, remembering my time running clinicals with some of the more senior
charges.
Ready to move on to the next patient. Duty calls
. I just looked
at her and shook my head slightly.

“Alright.
I’m right over here if you need me,” she said, and off she went, around the
corner to the next room without another word.

“Who’s
watching momma?” I asked, my senses coming back to me. I knew that she was
probably feeling delicate, but would never admit so. Mother never was the type
to complain about anything that bothered her.

“I
asked Miss Pauline to keep an eye on ‘er. The church was sendin’ her over with
a whole tray of chicken and soup and who knows what else anyway, so it worked
out.”

“Oh,”
I said and pulled the sheets back up over my legs. Even with the bandage in
place, I didn’t want to look at my injury.

“She
stopped by to see you before I got here and said you was asleep still. Miss
Pauline, that is.” Father tugged at his shirt sleeves and added, in an annoyed
tone of voice, “Hale stopped by to visit you the other day, too.”

“He
did?”

“Boy,
did your momma give him an earful. You shoulda seen it, Lil’ Bit.”

“I’ll
bet.” For the first time since the accident, I felt a hint of a smile coming
on.

“Lord,
but she was fired up at him. ‘It’s your fault she’s like this! Why didn’t you
pick her up you idjit?’ Folks in a coma on the other side of the hospital could
probably hear her hollerin’ at him. Poor boy didn’t know whether he was comin’
or goin’. Surprised she didn’t whack him over the head.”

“Sounds
like her. He deserved it, anyway.”

“He
ain’t never been one to be reliable, jus’ like his old man, but he’s gifted at
working on anything mechanical. Might need someone around the farm like…” He
held up his hands to stop himself. “Never you mind that. I ain’t gon’ try to
tell you who you ought to be with. I know how it is. You two was always close,
even as youngins. He left you some flowers over there in case you start
wonderin’ who they was from.” Father pointed to a small glass vase by the
television which held a variety of wildflowers and roses. Clipped to the bow
around the stems was a card far too small to read from the bed.

“You
shore’ you don’t want somethin’, Lil’ Bit? I can run down to the cafeteria and
get you some sweet tea if you’re thirsty. Nurse said it was ok.”

I
shook my head. “I’ve got some water, Daddy, I’m fine for now. Please go on home
to momma and tell her I’m alright. I’m sure she’s up by now and is probably
wondering. Plus, you know how Miss Pauline gets to going on. She’ll have momma
up and helping her cook something for the Saturday bible study before noon.”

He
laughed and slapped a hand on his knee. Then he lifted himself out of the chair
and gave me a peck on the forehead. “Ok, sweetie. I reckon I need to get some
rest myself. You jus’ lay back down for a while. The doctor said we should be
able to get you out of here in another day or two once you came ‘round.”

“Love
you,” I whispered, feeling my voice crack.

“Love
you too. We’ll be back up here a little later.”

I
watched him walk out of the room and into the hallway, where he looked very out
of place in a dusty jacket and faded farmer’s overalls. After that I closed my
eyes, sleepy and worn out all over again. A nap would be nice. If I had the
energy later, maybe I’d try to watch some television and find out what happened
with the bus.

The
numb feeling crept over me again when I thought about all those people.
How
many had there been? Why had it crashed? Was anyone killed?
I swallowed
hard at the prospects. It was a horrendous crash.

Then,
the image of Shane pulling me out of the wreckage flooded my thoughts again and
with it came the worry that somehow he hadn’t made it. That alone drove a
sickening spike of adrenalin into my stomach. The steady beeping of the heart
monitor increased its tempo.

Not
yet. I can’t do it right now. Can’t think about it.

My
fingers reached for the green button the nurse had shown me earlier. Within
moments, the pain in my leg subsided and dreary, muddled warmth descended over
me.

I
hadn’t been asleep more than an hour when there came a light tapping on the
frame of my open door. Standing there, looking like a whipped puppy, was Hale.
He was wearing the burgundy polo shirt I’d bought him for Christmas two years
before, which was hanging out over a pair of old khaki shorts. I always thought
he looked good in that, and not only because I’d picked it out. The color went
well with his tanned skin and contrasted ferociously with his bright,
emerald-green eyes.

“Is
she here?” he asked in a low voice, looking carefully around the corner from
under his lowered baseball cap.

“No.”
I blinked my eyes to get the sleep out. “You’re safe.”

His
face instantly relaxed.

“Thank
God. Your momma is a force to be reckoned with, Kat Atwater.”

“I
heard.”

He
strode in and made his way over to the vase that was perched nearby. Hale
didn’t look like he knew what to think, or do, and started fiddling with the
arrangement. After pulling the card and reading it, he managed to turn around
and face me.

“Looks
like you got my flowers after all. I figured your momma tossed ‘em in the trash
after she kicked me out.”

“She
wouldn’t do that.”

“Ain’t
never seen her that mad before.”

I
didn’t know what else to say. Flowers couldn’t make up for what happened, or
how he’d left me waiting that day. I wanted to tell him that, to scream it
maybe, so it would get through that thick skull of his, but he slid into the
threadbare visitor’s chair and took my hand in his own before I could.

“So…you
don’t look too bad, girl.”

“Thanks,
I guess.”

“You
got banged up a little.” He pulled a stray hair away from my face and looked at
the stitches underneath. “Not too bad at all. Still as pretty as ever.”

His
hand was warm and his voice had become that soft, easy one that I usually found
hard to resist. It felt like ages since I last heard it.

“They
say when you’re gonna get out?” he asked.

“Maybe
tomorrow. Probably later, though. Doctor hasn’t come by yet this morning.”

He
nodded, and swept his thumb over the top of my hand in a gentle motion. “Listen
baby, about what happened…”

“Hale,”
I said, letting out a deep sigh before I continued, “I don’t want to talk about
it. I’m too tired and drugged up.”

“You
know I was gonna to come pick you up.”

That
was when I realized; Hale wasn’t asking about what happened to
me
. He
was already trying to dig himself out of what he’d done wrong. The morphine
blur which had kept me sedated gave way to razor-sharp anger.