Love Me (11 page)

“Look, I know I’m not your dad, and I don’t want to be.”

“No, you just want her.” What Thomas could see of Zach’s profile was stiff, his jaw a hard line. “You’ll probably get rid of us. Send us all to boarding school or something. Have your own kids. We’ll end up sleeping in the basement. Or in the cupboard under the stairs.”

Was that what this was all about? Zach was afraid of being replaced?

“You watch too much TV,” Thomas said gently. “I’m not going to send you away. First of all, your mother would never do that to you, and she’d never allow someone in your lives who would. She loves you too much for that. And second of all? You’re not Harry Potter. You have a perfectly good room upstairs.”

“You don’t know that she wouldn’t send us away if you asked.” Zach curled his fingers around his seat-belt strap, his knuckles white. “I never thought she’d replace Dad, either, but she did. You’re here all the time. In his house. Sitting on his couch. With his wife.”

“Do you think your dad would want your mom to be alone? Or do you think he’d want her to be happy? Think about that.” He turned into the parking lot at Meijer and killed the engine. “She has a good man taking care of her already. You. I’m not there to take her away from you or from Cody or Katelyn. I’m not trying to pull her away from your family. I…I’d just like to be a part of it.”

Zach’s shoulders straightened. “But she doesn’t need you. You’re right. She has me.”

“No, she doesn’t need me. But I like her, Zach. I want to make her smile and laugh. And I like you guys, too.”

“Us?” The boy blinked. “Why?”

“Why not?”

“Because we don’t like you.” Zach’s eyes narrowed. “At least…I don’t like you.”

“Well, I like you. You remind me a lot of myself at your age.”

“I’m nothing like you!” But after a moment, Zach’s hunched shoulders relaxed and he darted Thomas a wary look. “What about when you go back to California? She’s worrying about it. I see her every night after you leave. She looks sad.”

Thomas took a shaky breath and gripped the steering wheel. “I have a plan for that.”

“If you hurt her…” Zach said after a few moments of tense silence.

“You can send me packing with another black eye. I promise.” Thomas offered a hand. “Temporary truce?”

Zach studied Thomas’s hand, squinting, mouth tight. Thomas held his breath. Would he be accepted or rejected? He felt like his entire future with Brianna hinged on this moment.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Zach shook his hand. “Truce. But I still don’t like you. I won’t moon you or kick a ball at your face, but I won’t go out of my way to be nice to you, either. Not yet.”

He could handle that. “You don’t have to like me. I’m only asking that you give me a chance. If I screw up, send me on my way.”

“I will. And I’ll like it.”

Thomas laughed. “Good. Now let’s go get that sauce or your mother will skin us both.”

Chapter Thirteen

Brianna took the stairs carefully. Her knees were weak, and she could barely feel her feet. Last night, she had tried to get Thomas to stay overnight. When she kissed him good night, she had whispered that he should sleep in her room with her. He’d stammered an odd jumble of words, something about getting ready for tomorrow, and ran out of the house as if the devil were chasing him. And she still didn’t know why.

But tonight she was going to finally ask the question she’d been avoiding—and she would actually get an answer. He’d promised her that much. But after his flight last night…she didn’t think she would like what she would hear. And if that wasn’t enough to make her palms sweaty and her knees wobbly, she was about to meet his sister for the first time, along with Erica’s husband. A husband who just happened to be Thomas’s best friend.

Pressure much?

At the bottom of the stairs, she leaned against the wall. Laughter rose from outside. She pushed away from the wall and peeked out the front window. Thomas, dressed in a black suit and blue tie, kicked a soccer ball. She craned her neck until she could see Zach, a smile tugging at his lips as he answered something Thomas said and angled to intercept a pass.

Thomas laughed, called out a reply, and punted the ball back to Zach. They kicked the ball back and forth a few more times, while across the yard, Katelyn and Cody played tag. Brianna pressed her knuckles to her lips. They looked like a family. A happy family.

Her family.

When was the last time she’d seen Zach smile like that? Probably long before Michael had died. Before he’d gotten sick. Sometimes she liked to think Michael was still around, watching over them. Maybe he’d like the scene in the yard. A sense of peace filled her as she imagined him at her side. In her mind, his smile was warm with approval.

No one had wanted him to die, least of all her. She still missed him. Always would. But she couldn’t go on feeling guilty for the rest of her life, ashamed of her feelings for another man. Thomas belonged here if he wanted to be here. With them.

He could be a good father. As good a father as Michael would have been. The past two weeks had shown her that Thomas had an amazing amount of patience and tolerance with her children. Whether temper tantrums, fights, or tears over a broken baby doll, he’d been there. He’d helped make the kids feel better—and helped her feel better, too.

No more running away from him. No more second-guessing. She wanted him to stick around. If he gave even one sign of being willing to move here with her, she would beg and plead for him to take the position. To stay.

She checked herself in the wall mirror, smoothed her hands over her sleek sheath dress, and stepped outside. All four heads turned to her when the door opened but she had eyes only for Thomas right now. “Hi,” she said shyly.

“Hi, yourself.” His gaze caressed her from head to toe. He kicked the ball back to Zach and walked toward her, his steps predatory, lithe, his heated gaze never leaving her. “You look… God. Breathtaking.”

She lowered her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ear. “So do you. Even when you’re playing soccer in a suit.”

He rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “It’s fun. I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I started playing again.”

Zach jogged closer. “Were you watching, Mom? Thomas was teaching me some of his ancient tricks from when he played.”

“Ancient? Watch yourself, boy. I already feel old enough, thank you.” Thomas ruffled Zach’s hair. The boy flushed. “But you really don’t need my pointers. You’ve already got a better kick than I ever did.”

The sheer pride in Zach’s eyes took her breath away. Did Thomas even realize how much he’d done for Zach? And to see them finally getting along…it had been rocky, but she was glad she’d trusted him.

“Thanks,” Zach said. A car door slammed, and his gaze shifted past Thomas. “Here come the babysitters. I told you guys I could have watched them.”

“A thirteen-year-old alone all night with his siblings? I don’t think so.” Brianna snorted. They would probably come home to find Cory and Katelyn covered in chocolate and running around high on a sugar rush, while Zach played Call of Duty online with Chris. “Maybe in a few years.”

The couple who came up the walk wasn’t nearly as frightening as Brianna had envisioned, even if Erica was intimidatingly lovely, the kind of woman the old Brianna would have been afraid to speak to. The resemblance between her and Thomas was unmistakable, from the deep, dark brown eyes to the infectious smile.

Her petite curves made even jeans and a T-shirt look classy—completely at odds with the rough, rugged, tattooed man at her side, who looked like he’d be more at home in a biker bar. Good god, those blue eyes were devastating, and despite herself Brianna flushed. Erica was one lucky woman.

Then her gaze drifted to Thomas—how the suit sat on his broad shoulders, unable to cage the luscious slopes of hard-packed muscle. The slightly dangerous edge to his smile, just that hint of promise that told her just what a feral beast he could be the moment they were alone. Yes, Erica was one lucky woman.

But so was she.

Cody trotted over and tugged her hand. “He’s a Marine, right, Mom?”

“Real-life and in the flesh.” She bit her lower lip and darted Thomas a nervous glance. “Are you sure Erica and Jeremy don’t mind watching them?”

“Trust me, she owes me. I had to take care of her when she was pregnant and Jeremy was away on deployment.” He made it sound like torture of the worst sort. With a shudder, he captured her hand. “Pickles at midnight. Ice cream at two.”

Brianna laughed. “I remember those days. Once I sent Michael out for a Big Mac at eleven at night. When he came home, I didn’t want it anymore—but I wanted a milkshake. And he went right back out, the lovesick sop.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sounds like Erica.”

As the couple drew closer, Brianna smoothed her hair and smiled. “Hello.”

“Hi,” Erica said, and, without a moment’s hesitation, pulled Brianna into a tight hug. Brianna tentatively hugged her back. She hadn’t expected or hoped for such a warm welcome. “Nice to meet you, Brianna. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you.”

“Uh, thanks.” Her cheeks heated. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”

“Don’t believe any of it.” Erica grinned. “Tommy probably made it all up.”

“Brat. I told you not to call me that.” Thomas pulled his sister into a tight hug.

Jeremy offered his hand, those stunning blue eyes glittering. “Hello, Brianna. Nice to meet you.”

Brianna slipped her hand into his—and yelped when he, too, dragged her into a rough bear hug. Her blush felt like it was spreading down to her knees, and she awkwardly pressed her hands against the second hardest pair of abs she’d ever felt as she pushed herself back.

“Well. Um. Nice to meet you, too.” She fiddled with her hair and pressed close against Thomas’s side. “Thank you both for watching the kids overnight.”

“No problem. We needed a vacation from base life and it gave my mom an excuse to spend a few days playing doting grandmother with our little guy.” Erica lightly slugged Thomas’s arm. “Then the next step will be helping this idiot find a new house.” Her sly look slid from Thomas to Brianna and Brianna could have melted into the sidewalk.

Wait, what? He was house hunting? Her heartbeat sped up. “Oh. I see.”

Thomas cleared his throat. “I said that we
might
be looking at houses. Not definitely.”

But where? Here or in California? Thomas looked at Brianna, then looked away before she could meet his eyes. What was he hiding from her?

Cody tugged Jeremy’s shirt. “Is it true you’re a real soldier? Thomas said you are.”

Jeremy crouched down. “I’m better than a soldier. I’m a Marine. Do you like soldiers?”

“Yeah! But…you don’t look like a Marine. Where’s your uniform?” Cody eyed him. “And your gun?”

“At home. But I can tell you all about soldiers and military formations. I know lots.”

Cody’s eyes widened. “Will you play toy soldiers with me?”

Zach snorted. “He doesn’t want to play with fake military guys, Cody. He’s the real thing.”

“I’d actually love to,” Jeremy said. “I’ll even show you how real Marines line up for battle.”

Cody jumped up and down. “Can we go? Now?”

“Sure. Come on.” Jeremy winked at Brianna and Thomas, then followed the boy up the pathway. “You two kids have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Tommy.”

“That leaves a lot of options,” Thomas said.

Jeremy laughed. “Yeah, I suppose it does.”

“Oh, gross. I’m gone.” Zach bolted after Jeremy and Cody. “See ya.”

“Love you, too,” Brianna called out, then shook her head. “Looks like we’ll be missed horribly.”

“Go. Have fun.” Erica pushed them gently down the path. “Get out of here.”

“Bye, Katelyn,” Brianna called over her shoulder. “Love you, Princess.” Yet she lingered a moment. Would her shy little girl be able to deal with Erica?

She needn’t have worried. Erica sank down to one knee and offered Katelyn her hand. “So you like princesses? I do, too. Want to go play?” She smiled. “My favorite thing in the world is to dress up like a princess and have tea.”

Magic words. Katelyn brightened, slid her hand into Erica’s, and practically dragged her inside. The door shut behind them, closing them off—and effectively freeing Brianna and Thomas for the night.

“See? Told you they’d be fine,” Thomas murmured into her ear. His deep voice evoked a shiver. A tight, clenching need that hadn’t been answered in far too long. She wanted his hands on her, tearing her clothes off, pinning her, touching her in that rough, capable way of his.

Date night. Right. They were going to go out like adults first. Talk, and all that fun stuff.

“Now,” he rumbled, “we get to be alone. Relax. Drink a little too much. Whatever you want, you’ll get.”

What she wanted was him. Only him. Brianna bit back her smile. “I think that sounds wonderful.”

“Then let’s go.” Thomas kissed her temple and led her to the truck. He opened the door, helped her inside, then slid behind the wheel. “Ready?”

“Yes.” She met his eyes, darted her tongue over her lips, bit back a hungry whimper of anticipation. “Very ready.”

Thomas smiled. Slow. Dark. Knowing. Knowing exactly what being so close to him was doing to her. Exactly how much she wanted him. “Then I’d hate to keep you waiting,” he said, and started the truck. “Tonight, Brianna…tonight will be all about us.”

Chapter Fourteen

If Brianna didn’t stop looking at him like he was dessert, they’d never make it to dinner.

The past two weeks had been hell. The kisses. The stolen touches, breathless and gasping. He had purposely refused to take her to bed last night. It had been one of the hardest things in the world to walk away from her after she invited him to stay, but he wanted to show her he wanted more from her than sex. Their relationship might have started because of mind-blowing sex, but now it was more. He couldn’t do this halfway.

Before when they had sex, it was exactly that. Hot, sweaty sex. But now he had a feeling everything would be different. For the first time since Nicole, sex had a new meaning for him. It had emotion. And depth. Once he got his hands on her, he’d never let go. He ached to lose himself in her. Have her. Consume her.
Love
her. And he wouldn’t touch her unless he could have all of those things. Unless he could have all of her.

Because he already loved her. He knew that now, and even better? He wasn’t scared of it. Or of her. And by the end of the night, she would know just how much she meant to him.

His hands ached from his tight grip on the steering wheel. He forced his fingers to relax. “I thought we’d go to my hotel and drop off your bag, then go out to dinner. Sound good?”

“Sure.” She fidgeted with her purse strap. “Are you sure Erica and Jeremy are okay with the kids?”

“Yeah. They’re fine, sweetheart. You need to relax,” he said. “Maybe we’ll grab a little scotch at the room before we go.”

She nodded. “I’m just…nervous.”

“Why? We’ve been on dates before. Nothing new.” He rolled to a stop at a red light, ignoring the real reason she was nervous. He was nervous, too. “Only difference is we’ll have longer. And be alone all night.”

She paled. “Yeah.”

What if she was worried he was going to attack her as soon as they got upstairs? It certainly wouldn’t be the first time he’d have done so. Maybe she was nervous about what he expected of her tonight. “Hey. We’ll go as slow as you want. Nothing has to happen and we can just relax. Hang out.”

His rampant state of arousal might not agree, but his libido could deal.

She nodded and drew a deep breath, but looked distracted. “Okay. Sounds good.”

Fuck
. “Great.”

The light turned green, and he hit the accelerator. He spent the rest of the ride convincing his body to calm down and accept there might be no Brianna tonight.

It refused to listen.

He pulled into the hotel parking lot, stopped the truck, and slipped around to help her down from the passenger’s side. As they approached the room, the slight breeze wafted her perfume to him. Did she have to smell so damned tantalizing?

He held his breath and opened the door. “After you.”

“Thank you.”

Even the sound of her voice rocked him off his feet. Desire plagued him, made his chest tight, his breathing short. He could barely manage coherent words. “This way.”

She gave him an odd look and bit her lower lip. She always did that when she was worried, but right now it was driving him mad. “Are you okay? You sound…different.”

“Me? I’m fine.”

He cleared his throat and pushed the elevator button. When they walked into the elevator, he couldn’t help but think of the last time they were here and what they’d been doing. Right there, in that corner, he’d kissed her. He tore his eyes from the wall.

“So. Um. If you want, I can give you a tour of my suite. Last time you were here, it was a bit…rushed.”

She flushed and fidgeted with her purse. “You could say that. So…you’ll be looking for somewhere to live soon?”

He watched her from the corner of his eye.
Thank you, Erica, for bringing that up
. He didn’t want to talk about that until after dinner. When he had her slightly tipsy, relaxed, and happy. Then he could ask…

He jumped when she poked him in the ribs. “Hello? You in there?”

He flushed. “Yeah. Sorry.”

She gave him an unreadable look, fidgeting with her strap. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Of course. I just—” He bit down on his tongue. Should he tell her he already requested to stay on permanently? His boss had been surprised at his change of heart but he had been too thrilled to question Thomas much. The ink was barely dry on the contract—but he was staying.

But did Brianna want him to stay with
her
? She’d been decidedly closed-mouthed about her feelings for him. And about their future…if they even had one. He had no idea what she was thinking or feeling. But tonight would be the night he found out.

The elevator let them off into the hallway. She kept stealing little glances at him, enigmatic and dark. He knew she was waiting for him to answer her question, but he wasn’t ready yet. His pounding pulse echoed in his head, washing out the sound of the air conditioning whirring through the vents. He fumbled with the keycard and opened the door to his room. The same door he’d slammed her against. Kissed her against. Taken her against. His cock rose to life at the memories.

Maybe this hadn’t been the best idea.

“So…since they knew I’d be here for a while, MotoTek paid for a luxury suite. All the amenities of home, none of the cleaning responsibilities.” He half shrugged with a wry smile.

He led her into the richly decorated room, with its open layout that combined kitchen, living area, and bedroom, with a stunning view through floor-to-ceiling windows. A separate door led to the bathroom, complete with a hot tub that he’d love to—

Down. Rein himself in. Right.

“You mentioned scotch,” she said, her voice soft, throaty with an edge of…was that desire? Or was he imagining that?

He licked his dry lips. “Scotch. Sure.”

He crossed to the marble-tiled kitchen and poured two tumblers of scotch with shaking fingers, then pressed hers into her hand and settled down on the couch next to her. Her softness pressed against his side. The late afternoon sun fell over her hair. His breath caught in his throat as he watched the light play over the liquid golden strands, and a hollow need punched him in the gut.

Maybe he should just drink the whole damned bottle.

Her gaze lingered on a portrait photograph of Vegas, lit up at night. “Erica and Jeremy seem so nice. I was stressing all day at work, worrying they would hate me at first sight.”

He toyed a strand of her hair between his fingers. “Not possible. How could they not love you like”—he clamped his mouth shut and cleared his throat—“like they love each other? They’re very happily married.”

And that was a pathetic recovery
.

“I can see that.” She stole a look at him but didn’t question his complete failure of a sentence. “Despite the fact that you seem to think you kept them apart.”

“I did keep them apart.”

“You have to stop blaming yourself.” She sighed. “Do you miss them?”

He hesitated. Did he miss them? Hell yes. But a few months ago, he’d been ready to relocate to California permanently just to be near family. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

And the reason for his change of heart was looking up at him with those beautiful tawny eyes.

“Yeah.”

She drew an invisible path on her knee. “Do you plan to move back out there one day?”

“I did before.” He smoothed her hair back from her face. “But now I’m not so sure. I’m happy where I am. With the kids. With…with you.”

“Right now.” She leaned into his touch. Her eyes closed. “I am, too. Very happy.”

He took a steadying breath. Every detail of her face captivated him. Her pink mouth, her soft skin…

Could he tell her he loved her? Should he?

Last time he’d said those words…

He couldn’t think of Nicole. She was out of his life, and it was time he left her where she belonged.

In the past.

He pressed a soft kiss to the peak of her chin. She was his present—and his future. And right now…

No. Not yet. He pulled back, staring down into her eyes. “Ready to go to dinner?”