Love Me (11 page)

I let out a little laugh. “I don’t know. You think it would be any good?”

He runs his finger gently down my neck. “What do you think?”

I swallow hard. “God, don’t do that to me. I know I slept with Dawson too soon. But I . . .”

He starts to get off me, but I grab his hands. 

“I really don’t want to hear this,” he says.

“You need to hear it. I thought I could go fast with the sexual part of a relationship and slow with the feelings part, but I can’t. It gets all messed up. All backwards. I want to wait. And I don’t want this to become some sort of competition.”

“Boots?”

He moves closer to my face.

“Yeah?”

“I’d wait for you forever. You don’t get it do you?”

“Get what?”

“We’re going to be together for a long time. There's no need to rush things when you know that.”

“Do you know how weird it is for a guy to say that? Guys hate commitment.”

“Did you not feel it? Was it just me?”

“No, I felt it too. I just thought you were a player and fought it.”

“Don’t fight me anymore.”

I don’t get to reply. His lips quickly close the gap between us. 

All of a sudden, there is a huge clap of thunder and a bolt of lightning hits a tree not too far from us. Rain starts coming down in buckets. 

Aiden pulls me up off the ground. 

We laugh at how instantly soaked we both are. 

But then we lock eyes. 

His lips press against mine.

And there in the pouring rain, I get the. Best. Kiss. Of. My. Entire. Life.

And I’m pretty sure with this kiss, he branded me. 

Seared his initials into my skin. 

Like bite marks from a vampire. 

I’m his. 

When I get back from the Cave, I change out of my soaking wet clothes and lie in bed thinking about our kiss in the rain and wondering how it could have been the best kiss of my life. 

There were no tongues. 

Just lips colliding. 

Lightning around us mimicking the electricity I feel every time our lips touch. 

It was a simple, single, electrifying kiss. 

And it was amazing.

Friday, October 21st

I need some cake.

10:30am

Most of the classes today have very few people in them. Most of us are working, getting everything set up for the PSW/Greek weekend.

I find Peyton in the café overseeing its transformation. There are huge black canvases draped on the walls. Art students are using projectors to beam classic sculptures onto the wall and are tracing them with white chalk. Others are drawing thick Greek columns and filling the fake windows with views of a bright blue ocean.

“Hey,” she says. “It’s looking great, don’t you think?”

“It really is. I just stopped by to check it out. Brad gave me a list of stuff to do. I have to go make sure the audio equipment is all ready for the movie tonight and that the gym is set up.”

“I heard that you’re hanging out with Dawson tonight and my brother tomorrow night.”

“That’s the plan, yes.”

“Do you think dating them both is a good idea? I mean, usually when you date more than one guy, you make sure they run in different circles, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

She leans in and whispers, “So, I was flirting with hottie Cooper this morning.”

“Peyton, don’t do that.”

“Why not? There’s no one here I want to date.”

“What about Brad?”

“Hmm, let’s see. Pretty little boy Brad versus a manly tattooed hottie. Um, no. Besides, I’m pretty sure that he was flirting back. Whitney wants him too. But I’m not going to let her win.”

“Peyton, look, this thing you have going on with Whitney. I know what you’re trying to do. And, I swear, it’s going to backfire on you.”

“No way. I’m not afraid of her anymore. You were right. It’s silly of me to let her hold that over my head. I was a minor. What good would it do if it came out now? Sure, it’d be embarrassing, but pretty soon I’ll be at college far away from here. And her. By the way, I saw what Dawson did in front of your dorm.”

“What do you mean?”

She grins. “Looks like you have two boys trying to woo you.”

I decide to stop by my dorm to see what she’s talking about before I make my way down to the gym. 

Maggie is outside, writing all over the sidewalk with chalk.

“Doesn’t it look amazing?”

“It’s really pretty,” I tell her, looking at all the messages the girls in our dorm have written to welcome the prospective students. “How was the library with Jake? I asked him about it and he wouldn’t tell me. He always tells me.”

She grins, full on. “It was good. Very much a friend thing. I’m pretty sure we are in the same boat.”

“The friend boat?”

“Yeah. You still in that with Aiden?”

“I’m not sure anymore. Last night he told me we were going to be together for a long time. Does that seem weird to you?”

“Not if you feel the same way. But, wait, I thought you went to the game with Dawson?”

“I did. And I was bad. Again. We decided we weren’t going to anymore, but we did.”

“You have no willpower.”

“You’re right. Dawson is like me satisfying my sweet tooth. When I’m having something sweet, I love it, but then when I’m done, I feel guilty.”

“Because of the calories?”

I laugh. “Yes. Dawson is a five layer chocolate cake with ganache filling. Impossible to resist, but leaves you feeling a little guilty after.”

“He stopped by here earlier. Did you see it?”

“Peyton said something about it.”

Maggie grabs my arm and pulls me toward the dorm. There on the first step, near where he always sits and waits for me, is a huge pink heart. It says:
Dawson + Keatie.

“Oh, that’s so sweet!”

Dawson grabs me around my waist. “I’m glad you think it’s sweet. I have something else sweet for you in my dorm. Come on.”

As we walk next door, I say, “Did you see your brother’s neck? He has new hickeys over the old ones.”

“Did you see my brother’s stomach?”

“We’ve never done that, you know. Given each other hickeys.”

“You’ve given me a couple little ones before,” he says, pulling me into his bedroom and sucking hard on my neck. “Want me to give you one?”

“Not really,” I laugh. “You know, we kind of missed out on all that. The kissing for hours, the hickeys, and all that.”

“Is that what you want? For me to write Dawes across your stomach?” He immediately puts his lips on my stomach, which is exposed in my game day dance uniform. “Maybe I’ll just put my football number on you. Mark my territory.”

“Uh . . .”

“I’m just playing. Tell you what. Let’s just make out.”

I smile at him. “That sounds like fun.”

We kiss for a few minutes. 

But when he pulls me on top of him, our kissing gets deeper, and both our hips start that little movement toward each other. 

“Keatie, you gotta stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Every time you kiss me, you move your hips into me, and you keep making those sexy little noises. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“That’s cuz you keep pushing my butt into your leg and moving it against me.”

I roll off him and wrap both my arms up around my head. He puts his hand across my exposed stomach and then down inside my dance pants.

I moan, then sigh and try to shake this desire. “What happened to
just
kissing?”

He runs his hand further down, pulling my pants down in the process. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen,” he says huskily, as I use his feet to kick my pants the rest of the way off.

He pulls off my thong while I try to undo his belt. I finally get it undone, unzip his shorts, and pull down the front of his boxers. He holds my hands down above my head with one hand, while he slides off his shorts and boxers. 

Then he grins at me and says, “We’re just gonna kiss.” 

I wrap my legs around his waist in agreement. “Yeah, we’ll just kiss.” 

Dawson may not touch my soul, but the parts he does touch, he makes feel really good.

After we get dressed, Dawson says, “I’m starved. Let’s go get lunch.”

We’re now sitting at the lunch table, probably looking way too happy. 

Bryce says to me, “So, what’s going on with you two? I saw the
It’s complicated
thing, but then I heard you had a date with Aiden.”

“We’re allowed to date other people,” Dawson answers.

“So, you’re still hooking up?”

Dawson laughs and says, “Um, we decided we’re just gonna kiss.”

My phone makes a little email ding, telling me I have a message from Grandma.

Grandpa says you want to know the difference between love and true love. Joan Crawford said this, “Love is a fire, but whether it’s going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.”

Dawson and I are the only ones left at the lunch table, so I ask him, “Do you believe in true love?”

“Uh, I think so, why?”

“Do you think you just know?”

“Like love at first sight? Romantic fairy tale stuff? I though what we just did in my room was pretty damn romantic.”

“Our
just kissing
was romantic?”

“Hell, yeah.”

I tilt my head and look at him, like
Seriously
?

“Okay, so it probably wasn’t romantic. It was hot. Sexy. That’s what all this is about, huh? The romance? We have the sex, but not the romance? Wasn’t last night romantic?”

“Dinner was romantic.”

“So early dinner and then tonight after the game you’re mine, right?”

“I think I already was yours.”

He laughs. “Naw, we just kissed.”

Just kiss.

1pm

After lunch, I do all the stuff Brad asked me to, then go to the small auditorium where all the student guides are meeting to get instructions about what we’re expected to do with the visiting students. Aiden sits down next to me as I’m studying the photos of the two girls who are going to be Katie’s and my roommates. 

“So, tonight, we’re doing dinner before the game, right? I have something special planned.”

“Oh, um, I didn’t know that you planned something. I was trying to be fair, so I told Dawson I would hang out with him tonight. Then tomorrow, all day—well, except for the party after curfew—I’m yours. Like, if you want.”

“Bryce told me you and Dawson decided you’re just gonna kiss for now.”

I blush and look down, hoping he didn’t notice.

“Well, we’re going to try.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “I don’t like this.”

“Don’t like what?” 

“You dating him one night and me the next. It sucks.” 

“But you’re the one who told me to date you both.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says with a sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. “So, are you okay with that?”

“Okay with what?”

“With me dating you one night and someone else the next?”

“You can do whatever you want.”

He sweetly puts his forehead against mine. “I haven’t dated anyone else this year. Don’t know why I’d start now.”

I bite the edge of my lip, trying to suppress a smile. 

He lets out a loud laugh. “You love getting your way, don’t you?”

My little smile breaks into a full-on grin. I can't help it. 

He squints his eyes at me. “You like that I’m a little jealous.”

“Kinda.”

“You are a bad liar.”

“Fine, I like that you're maybe a little jealous. I don't know how you feel.”

“Boots, love isn't like a cute pair of shoes. You can't try it on to see if it fits and walk out the door wearing it.”

“I know that.”

“You told me sometimes true love takes a bit. Do you believe that?” 

I scrunch up my face and think about it. “I guess I always thought true love would be instant. An instant pull—like gravity—and you would both just know.”

“But sometimes the girl is used to getting things instantly. And probably the guy is too. And maybe they need to slow down.”

“But I could get hit by a car or kidnapped by a psycho tomorrow and never know.”

“You don’t have to have sex to know. Sex isn't love.”

“Maybe not. But it’s a big, important part of it.”

“Just because you have sex doesn't mean you're in love.”

“I just want to be with a guy who likes me. Who won’t hurt me.”

“Says the girl who’s with a guy that has already hurt her, more than once.”

This comment immediately pisses me off. 

I turn my back on him. “I gotta go, Aiden. See ya later.”

He grabs my shoulder. “You’re mad at me right now because you know I’m right.”

I set my face in a passive, disaffected look. “I’m not mad at you. I just have to go greet the prospective students.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Now I’m standing in a reception line, greeting prospective students as they arrive, with Aiden standing next to me. 

Electricity is radiating from his stupid body. 

Young girls are getting just as tongue-tied around him as I do. They come over in little groups, supposedly to say hi to Ariela, Maggie, and me, but by the way they are giggling, it’s obvious who they want to see. 

The shirtless goalie from the video.

“Are you two going out?” an adorable blonde girl named Pressley asks Aiden, looking from me to him and blushing. Then she goes, “Uh, I mean, like, I, uh, saw you studying together in the library in the, uh, video. I can’t wait to take French. It’s such a romantic language.”

I look at Aiden, wondering how he’s going to reply. This is his chance to tell someone else what I want to hear. That he’s secretly in love with me. How we met. How it was instant. How if she comes here, it might happen to her. Her perfect fate.

“We have French class together,” he says with a radiant smile toward the girl, which causes her to turn a deeper shade of red. “She’s my tutor.”