Love Me Always (7 page)

Her crying stopped and her face lifted and he gazed into her wide blue eyes. The nearness made his heart hammer, and the warmth expanded in his chest.

“Why did you call me Kitty?”

As he stared at her full, heart-shaped lips, he battled with the urge to kiss her. But he couldn’t. She would never be his.

Forcing himself to pull away, he took two steps back. “I—I—I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because you are cuddly as a kitten. Cat fits you, but not when your eyes are swimming with tears.”

Her hands shook as she clutched them against her stomach. “When I was a child, my parents called me Cat.”

His gaze swept over her once more. “Right now, you look like a Kitty.”

She smiled.

Nick’s heart melted again from the tenderness of her expression, and he had to mentally shake himself out of the stupor. “You had better wash away those tears and get some rest before tonight’s activities.”

Her smile faded and she nodded.

“I’m truly sorry you are so frightened. I can tell you don’t wish to marry.” He shrugged. “I thought all girls your age wanted to marry.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I do wish to marry in the eyes of God and one day start a family, but my fear of the unknown has robbed me of my happiness.”

“I remember your grandfather was a Pastor.”

“Yes. He was a great man.” She managed a small smile. “He taught me to love the Lord.”

“Do you not believe this is what the Lord wants for you?”

She sniffed and wiped the moisture under her eyes. “No, I don’t.”

Nick’s chest tightened even more. If only he could tell her how much he felt the same agony as she. He’d felt as if God had abandoned him and ignored his prayers. “I do understand, Kitty. I wish I could help, but I cannot. You have no reason to be afraid of my uncle. He’s a good man. He took in his brother’s sons to care for us. Grant is gentle and kind. Just let him know your worries, and he will understand.”

“Thank you.”

He winked, smiled, then left her room and hurried down the stairs. Taking deep breaths, he willed the fluttering sensations in his chest to leave as he hurried into the drawing room. Gregg and Ian were absent, but his uncle sat in his high-backed leather chair by the fireplace, his attention turned to the low burning flames. Nick took a step toward the older man and the floor creaked. Grant’s head turned Nick’s way.

“Catherine is settled in her room,” Nick informed. “She seemed very pleased with everything. It appears you have changed a lot of the furniture and redecorated a bit.”

“Indeed. I didn’t think she would appreciate getting your aunt’s second-hand furniture.”

“No, probably not.”

“So, nephew? What do you think of Catherine now that you know her better?”

Nick arched an eyebrow. “Who says I know her better?”

“Well, you did spend time with her on the trip, did you not?”

Nick walked to the small table and poured him some tea. He gulped the contents back. As the liquid slid down his throat, he squeezed his eyes close. Indeed, he got to know her better, which made things worse.

He shrugged. “She was in the coach, I was on my horse. We may have visited briefly during our meals, but that was all.”

“True, but since I know my nephew, I know you kept a close eye on her, trying to discover her faults. Am I correct?”

Nick chuckled and walked closer to the fire. “Yes. I watched her to see if she had any faults, but regretfully I report she has none. Gregg and Ian found her charming and irresistible. They are the two who got to know her well, and I’m certain they will praise her highly.”

Grant laughed. “They already have. So if you didn’t find any faults with her, why do you still disapprove?”

Nick blew out an aggravated breath and turned toward his uncle. “Because she’s only nineteen, and because...you are dying.” He hated to be blunt, but he had no other choice. He needed to make his relative see how insane it was for him to marry.

Grant nodded as his gaze left Nick and rested on the small fire. “Yes, I’m dying, but do I have to be miserable until that day arrives? Catherine will make me happy. She already has. Can’t you see how happy I am?”

“Yes, but I think it’s rather selfish of you not to think about her needs. She’ll be miserable if she’s forced to remain home and take care of a dying husband. I think she would rather attend balls and tea parties and shopping trips into town instead of staying home playing nursemaid.”

Grant sat in silence for a long time. Usually, this was the way his uncle ended a conversation, but as Nick turned to leave, his relative cleared his throat.

“You are correct, Nick. I cannot deprive her of the parties and outings and social events. I have no idea how much longer I have to live, and it’s not fair of me to keep her as a nursemaid all that time.” He turned and looked at Nick. “So, during the day she can be with me and tend to my needs if she wishes, but at night she can be escorted to balls and functions by you.”

Nick gasped. “
Me
? Why me?” His voice rose as his heart hammered with uncertainty. “I will not play the part of her nanny.”

Grant flipped his hand through the air. “Once again, you are being over dramatic, because you know she doesn’t need a nanny. Besides, you enjoy attending those kinds of functions with beautiful women, and so you will take her with you when you go. Gregg and Ian can have their turns, as well. I’m certain they will love it, but since you are the oldest – and next to inherit the dukedom – you have more responsibility. She will be a joy to have around, just wait and see.”

Grant stood, and with help from his cane, slowly made his way toward the door. Obviously, his uncle wanted the conversation ended. Nick clenched his jaw. Not this time. He would add his last thoughts before his uncle left.

“But, Uncle Grant, how—”

“Enough!” Still keeping his eyes toward the hallway, Grant stiffened but shifted his head and glanced at Nick. “You will follow my wishes, Nick. There will be no more talk of this. What’s done is done,” Grant snapped then proceeded out the door.

A blaze of fury ignited in Nick’s chest the longer his uncle’s echoing footsteps boomed in the hallway. Why had Grant put this kind of responsibility on Nick’s shoulders? Catherine wasn’t going to be his wife.

Nick grumbled irritably and threw his empty teacup into the fireplace, shattering it into a million pieces.

His life was cursed!

* * * *

A tear slipped down Catherine’s cheek as she studied her reflection in the full-length mirror at the gown Grant had purchased for her. The ice blue silk molded nicely to her bosom and shoulders. A full, high-waist skirt fell in soft folds to a small train in the back. Wearing such a dress in front of others scared her to death, but she worried more about seeing Grant’s expression. Would her stomach churn if his face held traces of interest when he gazed upon her?

Emily curled Catherine’s hair in loose ringlets around her head, and then threaded a blue ribbon throughout. The color of the ribbon enhanced Catherine’s auburn curls. She liked the way it made her look. For the first time, Catherine felt like a woman instead of a girl trying to resemble a woman.

Taking a deep breath, she prayed her nervous stomach wouldn’t be a problem during the evening’s events. How embarrassing would it be if her ailment showed itself to the guests soon to arrive tonight? She hoped her weak knees would stay strong and keep her from crumbling.

What worried her more was the inevitable kiss – the kiss to seal their betrothal announcement. She squeezed her eyes closed.
Please do not kiss me tonight, Grant.

She must keep in mind what Nick had told her earlier this afternoon – that Grant was a kind man. If she explained her fears to him, he’d understand.

While in Nick’s arms earlier today, comfort had actually spread through every part of her. His soft voice and tender caress had helped her to relax. Perhaps she shouldn’t have enjoyed those feelings. He was, after all, to be her step-nephew. She shook her head. How could she think like that when he was so much older? The years between them weren’t many. Ian was twenty-three, Gregg was twenty-five, and Nicholas, twenty-six. Nevertheless, she shouldn’t be seeking comfort in his arms, not when that was supposed to be Grant’s responsibility.

Her heart sank. The weeks would pass quickly before she married. How was she going to be able to hold up and remain strong if her heart wasn’t in it?

The knock on her bedroom door made her jump back to awareness. “Yes?” her voice squeaked.

“Catherine? It is I, Gregg. Uncle Grant sent me to see if you were ready.”

“Yes, Gregg. I’m ready.” From the adjoining room where she’d previously bathed, Emily hurried in, giving Catherine a curious look. “Let him in,” she instructed her maid.

Smoothing her hands down her silk gown, she waited while Emily opened the door. When Gregg walked in and looked at her, his face softened and his eyes twinkled.

“Catherine, you are stunning.” His gaze traveled down her before bouncing back up to meet her eyes.

Her cheeks warmed. “Thank you, Gregg.”

“Come.” He held out his arm. “Let us go down and let my uncle and brothers partake of your loveliness.”

She took his arm and walked with him down the magnificent staircase. Mrs. Berkley hurried out of her room and followed not far behind. Grant, Nick, and Ian waited at the bottom, all eyes turned upward. Because of Grant’s squinted gaze, she supposed he couldn’t see her yet, but his nephews could. Ian’s jaw dropped as his focus ran up and down her length. She wanted to giggle from his reaction.

It was Nick’s gaze that nearly shattered her defenses. His face softened the longer he swept his eyes over her – from the top of her ringlet-styled hair to the tips of her ice blue satin-heeled slippers. It wasn’t the fact he admired her that was rattling, but the way he did it. His expression was similar to when she’d seen him smile at the serving woman yesterday, yet now it his gaze was more intent. The realization made her heart pound and her legs weaken.

Finally, she stood in front of Grant, his eyes clearer now. His gaze ran over her, and instead of making her feel warm and tingly like Nick had, her skin crawled.

“Catherine, my darling. You’re such a vision of beauty,” Grant told her as he took her trembling hands. “I’m going to be the envy of every man in attendance this evening.”

It took all her effort to smile, and her voice refused to work.

His gaze strayed to her bare neck. “There’s something missing, though. You look a little cold.”

He let go of her hands and reached in the pocket of his over jacket, pulling out a long black, velvet box. When he opened it, she gasped with surprise. A pearl and diamond necklace and matching earbobs lay inside against black velvet.

“I think these will warm you this evening,” Grant said.

She’d never seen anything so extravagant in her life, and the sight of them temporarily made her forget her unease. “Oh, Grant…you should not have done this.”