Love Me If You Must (11 page)

 
17

The old wooden door was the only thing that separated me from the body in my basement. I wanted nothing more than to grab a sledgehammer and smash the cistern to smithereens and prove to myself there was nothing but dirt and stones beneath that lump of white.

But I knew I’d never make it down the steep stairway with my leg in its crippled state. Besides, I didn’t even own a sledgehammer.

I pounded a fist on the counter. There was no body in my basement. There was nothing to investigate.

“Leave me alone,” I yelled toward the basement. I jumped at the echo of my voice in the empty house.

I grabbed at my temples, hoping to get a handle on my mind. But the more I tried to block it out, the more insistent the image in the concrete became.

A ball of anger lodged in my throat.

I hobbled to the basement door and fumbled with the slide bolt.

I threw the door open. It crashed against the back wall. Plaster dust drifted into an empty stairwell.

“Stop acting like a three-year-old afraid of the dark,” I chastised myself. “There’s nothing in your basement.” A thump sounded behind me in the kitchen. I twirled and screamed, sure I would see the cistern-dweller, wailing like a banshee, hair wild and clothes tattered from the grave.

But it was only David, standing in the middle of the stain-splotched linoleum.

I massaged my neck, that bare place between my shoulders and head that used to be hidden by hair. I could only hope David hadn’t heard me talking to myself.

“What are you doing here already?” The words popped out before I could stop them from sounding rude. I had at least nine hours to pull myself together before our scheduled date. How dare he arrive early?

“Sorry to startle you. I came by to drop this off.” A key dangled from one hand.

I reached for it. “What’s this for?”

He smiled and a dimple formed on one cheek. “It’s your house key, actually.” He looked around the kitchen. “Are you well? I looked through the window and you seemed distressed. I came in to help, if you needed it.”

I blinked hard, trying to imagine what a dork I must have looked like from his angle on the porch. Skinny me, braced at the top of the cellar steps, talking to myself about an empty basement.

“Everything’s great.” I rocked back on my good heel and swung my arms. “You know how it is. Me and the family ghosts were just working things out.”

“Oh.” David stared at me. “Is that a new style you’ve got there?”

On instinct, my hand reached for my head. “Just a couple days old. What do you think?”

“Superb. It really sets off the green of your eyes.”

“Thanks.” I got that warm fuzzy feeling that came with a well-phrased compliment.

But somewhere in my muddled brain, it finally registered why David had come over. “So. You had my house key. How come?”

He took a step back. “I helped Rick with the waterproofing project last year. I thought I’d lost the key, but I was cleaning out a drawer the other day and there it was. I didn’t feel right keeping it.”

I tossed the key on the counter. It slid across and jangled into the stainless steel sink. I wondered how many other copies were at large. Did Rick Hershel have one? What about the creepy Jack Fitch? I knew Lloyd the contractor had a copy, since I’d given it to him.

I met David’s eyes, soft blue in the reflected daylight. He seemed so handsome . . . so harmless. Someone else must be responsible for the stick-in-the-window stunt. I was holding out hope that David was the genuine article.

“Thanks for bringing it by.” I smiled and let down my guard. “I’m really looking forward to tonight.”

His eyebrows lifted in what could have been surprise.

“Me too.” He shifted his weight. “Uh, six o’clock, right?”

I cut him some slack. He must have had a tough week dealing with Rebecca’s divorce bomb. I figured one hour earlier wasn’t putting me out too much.

“Six o’clock it is,” I said, walking him to the door.

David left and I rushed to call Tammy at the Beauty Boutique for a nail repair job.

“I can fit you in at three.” Her voice sounded like she was fighting a cold.

While I waited for the appointment, I headed to the quaint clothing stores scattered downtown, determined to find the perfect outfit. I had in mind something the exact shade of David’s eyes.

The air was damp and my injured leg ached to the bone. I Frankenstein-walked my way to Clothing Junction, attracted by the bright sweaters in the window display. I pushed open the door. The warm scent of cinnamon and apples greeted me. Floorboards creaked as I wove through the store to the sales desk on the far side. On the way, I took in the floral swags and wreaths sprinkling the walls, the jewelry and accessories displayed atop each rack, and the clever antique knickknacks showcased in every nook. The overall effect gave me the irresistible urge to buy everything in sight.

Two older women stood behind the counter, talking to each other in hushed tones. They seemed oblivious to my approach. I couldn’t help but overhear.

“Arsenic poisoning. Just enough to kill someone with a weak heart, poor dear,” said the one with the blonde beehive.

“It’s a wonder we aren’t all dead,” the other biddy answered. “I’ve drank my share of coffee over there, you know.”

I gulped, wondering if the faint bruising on my feet could be caused by arsenic from my Whistle Stop habit.

Biddy Number Two turned and noticed me. Her eyebrows squinched, and I could tell she caught my resemblance to the AWOL Sandra Jones.

“Can I help you?” she asked, all aflutter.

“Hi. I need something remarkable. In blue.”

She led me to a rack on the far wall. “We just got in this collection of winter blues. This one is my personal favorite.”

She held up a soft cashmere wrap sweater with a satin tie on one side. Elegant. Classy. I pictured myself in it, sitting opposite the dashing David in the Rawlings Hotel dining room. The candlelight would merge the blue of my sweater and the blue of his eyes, and we’d talk about our perfectly meshed future together.

I reached out and touched the sleeve, reveling in the thought of that soft yarn against my skin. I ran my hands down the length of it. An exposed jagged nail tweaked at the surface fuzz. Tonight, of course, I’d have my flamingo nail tips back in pristine condition.

The woman left the sweater in my hands and walked to a nearby rack. “These slacks would really set it off.”

The silky black pants were fitted, with no waistband and gently tapering legs.

“Would you like to try them on?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” I said, pretending I did this shopping-spree thing all the time. In reality, I never tried stuff on at my usual clothing stores before taking it home and washing it first. Anything could be alive on those secondhand garments.

I stepped into the dressing room and shut the louvered door behind me. Huge mirrors boxed me in. I couldn’t avoid taking a good look at my reflection.

I sighed.

I seemed so hand-me-down. Jeans a size too big and a baggy blouse in original ’70s striped fabric. Sure, the combination could pass for the current style, but it just didn’t work with my new chic hairdo that said I was sophisticated now. Svelte slacks and a trim sweater would give me that put-together look I craved.

I wrestled off my blouse and pulled on the sweater.

My head popped out the top and I adjusted it into place.

A perfect fit. I ran my hands across every part of the fabric, feeling as if I were special, important, and worth loving.

Wow. I’d have to go shopping more often.

The slacks achieved the same sensation.

I smiled and hugged myself in the mirrors, thrilled at my first introduction to must-have clothing. I would feel so confident tonight. So together. Exactly the effect I hoped to attain.

A long, white tag dangled from one sleeve of the sweater. I hadn’t even thought to look at the price.

I flipped the tag over.

I stood for several agonizing seconds, reading and rereading the three digits followed by a decimal point and two zeros.

How could that be? How could this little bit of a sweater cost more than a month’s worth of groceries? There was hardly anything to it. Soft fuzzy fabric and a satin bow should only amount to twenty bucks. What crazed individual would pay five times more than a thing was worth? So what if Clothing Junction provided a luxurious and unique shopping experience. Were there really people out there, other than frivolous tourists, that would fork over those kinds of funds just to feel good about themselves?

“How’s it fit, dearie?” the biddy called through the slats.

Great fit, exorbitant price, I felt like snapping back.

“It’s okay.”

I looked at the pile of crumpled, recycled clothing on the floor. Three bucks’ worth of stuff, maybe. My whole wardrobe over the past eight years had cost a fraction of what this one outfit would come to today.

Was I worth it? A miser’s horde of money sat untouched in my bank account, earmarked for the renovation project. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt just this once to treat myself. I’d been through a lifetime of heartaches and hardships. It was time to let go of the past and enjoy the present.

I changed back into my ragtag combination, dismayed at the transformation from princess back to pauper. No wonder the salesladies hadn’t paid any attention to me when I walked in the door.

I brought the fantastic duo to the counter, and with a hard swallow, wrote the check.

Beehive Woman gave the document a thorough inspection, glancing first at the lettering, then at me.

“I see you’re not related to Sandra Jones,” she said.

I waved my hand and flashed a smile. “Heavens, no. But I gather from crowd response that we could be sisters.”

“Twins. You could be twins.” She squinted at me. “Well, Sandra does have thinner brows. And her eyes are brown, not green, like yours.” The woman sighed, fussing and folding my purchase. She tucked it in a burgundy bag with a twine handle. “Sandra was one of our best customers. Shopped here since high school.”

“Well, I hope she didn’t buy this same outfit. Wouldn’t that be tacky?” I clicked my fingertips on the counter hoping the woman would just stick to the task and get me out of here in time for my three o’clock at the Beauty Boutique.

Blonde Beehive gripped the bag, apparently determined I would hear her out. “Sandra hasn’t been in here for a good year now. What a shame about her and Martin.”

C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, I felt like saying.

“Yeah. I heard she jilted him, poor guy,” I said.

“After what he did to her, no one blames her. Wasn’t that a mess?”

I leaned forward against the counter, suddenly intrigued by news of Martin Dietz’s shortcomings. “Sounds serious. What did he do to her?”

“Well”—the woman’s voice lowered to gossip level—“he wanted that big county position. Which one was it, Rita?” She turned to the woman behind her.

“Commissioner,” Rita said.

“Yes. Well, he put Sandra in charge of the campaign and she would have won it for him.”

“But?” I asked, thanking God Martin Dietz hadn’t ended up in county-level government.

“But she decided to run for it herself. And she would have won too.”

“What happened?”

“That nasty Mr. Dietz ripped her character to shreds. She left town before the election was over. Haven’t seen her since.”

The door jangled open behind me, and a cold gust of wind blew in along with a customer.

The woman at the counter clammed up as she glanced past me toward the door. She shoved my bag at me and pasted a smile on her face.

I was sorry to have my investigation cut short, but glad to get to the Beauty Boutique.

I turned to go, and bumped into the broad, solid form of Martin Dietz.

 
18

Dietz glared down at me, his eyes shot through with jagged blood vessels.

“Ms. Amble,” he said with a terse nod. “Just the person I’m looking for.” A faint odor of pipe tobacco emanated from his clothing.

“I dispatched your denial letter this morning,” Dietz said. His hat moved up and down with his clenching jaw.

At his words, my own teeth clamped together in defiance. Sandra Jones may have been easy prey for a bully like Martin Dietz, but he’d find I wasn’t one to trifle with. The more he pushed, the harder I’d fight back.

“The meeting isn’t until next week. How can I have been denied already?” I forced the words through taut lips. Behind me, I heard scuttling, and I figured the biddies were running for cover.

Dietz nodded with cruel satisfaction. “I knew your project had a timetable and I didn’t want to be the one holding things up. So last night, I called a special meeting of the Historical Committee. Your plan to demolish the cistern was rejected. In fact, they even rejected your plan to wall it in. Seems it’s the only one of its kind in Rawlings, and they want to protect it for posterity.”

His leer grew more vicious with every detail. “I guess you’ll have to give up your basement renovation plans altogether.”

My lip started to quiver, whether from impending defeat or sheer terror, I couldn’t yet tell.

A snide comeback was formulating in the back of my mind. But I reminded myself that Dietz carried more clout in the community than some nameless newcomer. If possible, I needed to get him over to my team.

I smiled a sweet, submissive smile.

“Wow. Thanks for pushing that request through for me. That really helps solidify things.”

His chin tilted and his shoulders dropped into a less-guarded pose. “No problem.”

I kept my face neutral as I squeezed past him to the door. I clutched the bag with the fuzzy sweater and silky pants to my chest, grateful I’d finished the transaction before Dietz had shown up.

I hit the cold November air, then turned up the street toward the Beauty Boutique. Martin Dietz might think he had just pulled one over on me, but I’d figure out a way to get my project through, with or without him.

I entered the Beauty Boutique and saw Tammy sitting at her nail station. She waited with slumped shoulders and head resting on her palm. Wads of white tissue peeked through the cracks of her fingers.

“Fighting a cold?” I asked in greeting.

She looked up at me with a blotchy face. She caught a nose drip with the tissue ball. “No. I’m crying my eyes out. A good friend of mine died yesterday.”

“Was it Casey from down the street?” I asked.

I thought of Coffee Girl and tried to imagine her and Tammy as friends.

“Yeah.” She drew a rasping breath. “Sorry I’m such a mess. Let’s get you started.”

She wiped tissue along the bottom of her eyes, diminishing the dark circles of mascara that had puddled there. She straightened her shirt, scooted her chair, then invited me with an open hand to sit across from her.

“I’m really sorry,” I said, sinking into the floral upholstery. “I understand Casey’s death comes as quite a shock.”

Tammy opened the bottle of adhesive and painted a layer on my three bare nails.

She shook her head. “Arsenic poisoning. That’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. I’m guessing the founding fathers are just using Casey’s death to get the village water filter system pushed through.”

Tammy pressed my replacement nails, almost bruising my fingertips with her barely controlled anger. I knew how frustrated Tammy must feel. I remember the multitude of villains I held responsible for my mother’s death.

The mixer beads in the bottle of Flamingo Pink polish clicked like mini maracas. Tammy unscrewed the top and painted my nails, starting with the new ones.

“Casey was an amazing person. You wouldn’t believe the girls she influenced in a positive way at our church’s youth group.” Tammy painted furiously, talking more to herself than to me. “She didn’t deserve to die.”

Her brows knit into deep lines. She finished the last nail, then started the process over again. “Maybe she didn’t dress the greatest. So what if she had face jewelry. God looks at what’s inside. And so should the rest of this town. If it had been someone like Rebecca Ramsey, there’d be a better explanation. Everyone hates Rebecca, but she’s somehow more worthy because of her money and class.”

Job done, Tammy slammed the nail polish down on the table. She rubbed absently at the crescent-shaped dent left by the bottle. “I’m sorry to go on a rampage. But I can’t figure it out. Life can be so unfair.”

“I know how you feel.” What more could I say?

She looked at me for the first time. “Thanks for listening. Sorry I brought up Rebecca. I know tonight’s your big date with David. I don’t mean to put a damper on things for you.”

“Not at all. I guess it doesn’t hurt to know a few things about David’s ex-wife before we go out.”

“Ex-wife? I didn’t think she’d ever get around to divorcing him. Sorry to have been snotty at the supermarket that day. I just wanted to make sure you knew he was tagged. Guess it wasn’t necessary.”

“He told me last week he’d gotten the papers in the mail.”

“Maybe she met someone out in California. Some richer-than-mud millionaire who meets her high standards. I mean, the Metropolitan Magazine Woman of the Year deserves better than a computer dweeb husband, right?”

“If you say so.” David didn’t strike me as a dweeb of any sort. I’d rarely seen a man more handsome than he. As far as manners and character went, both seemed impeccable. And from what I could tell, he made a lucrative living. His drop-dead gorgeous Greek Revival home said all there was on the subject of monetary success. The thing must have cost a fortune to renovate.

Anyway, I couldn’t help but be awed by a man who could spearhead a project like that one. The thought processes that supported that kind of vision were rare indeed. I looked forward to dinner tonight when I could get David’s insights on my own renovation project.

There would be no time for talk of Rebecca.

I followed Tammy up to the register and paid for my touch-up.

“Thanks for fitting me in on short notice,” I said.

“Glad you came. I needed to vent. That’s the other thing about you that reminds me of your twin. You’re a good listener. I sure miss doing her nails. Toward the end, she could have passed for my therapist.”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that,” I commented. “I got the impression the other day that you two were rivals from way back.”

Tammy looked at her hands resting on the counter. “Yeah. I guess we were. But about six months before she left town, she started helping me with the church youth group. We actually got to be pretty close. And the girls loved her. She used her background as an image consultant to build these girls into confident young women.”

She paused. A sad look came into her eyes. “I guess I’m still mad at her. You’d think she could at least drop me an occasional e-mail. Martin may have been the world’s biggest jerk to her, but she had friends here. She could have held her head up and weathered his tantrum.” She twirled a hand in the air. “There I go again. It’s been quite a year. And now Casey.”

I nodded in sympathy. “Yep. I’ve had whole decades like that. It’ll get better.”

I turned to go, reaching for the door pull.

“Hey,” Tammy called to me. “Do you want to come to church with me on Sunday? The girls would love to meet you.”

Church. A place I’d successfully avoided for almost twenty years. Hard pews. Excessive singing. Snooty old ladies. Boring sermons. Not a place I felt like dealing with at this point in my life.

“Thanks for the invite,” I said. “Sundays are a little too hectic right now. But after the first of the year, I should have things a little more under control.”

“I only ask because you’re so much like Sandra. It might take the sting out of Casey’s death if you were there.”

Guilt trips were the foundation of my upbringing. I recognized one a mile away.

“Thank you, but no,” I said and hustled out the door. I speed-limped toward home, obsessed with the image of a little white church house crumbling to the very foundation as I walked through its doors.

The bracing wind cleared my mind as I headed home. I stopped at the Fitches’ driveway and looked both ways before crossing the road.

I gave a little groan.

There, parked against the curb in front of my house, was a police cruiser. The driver’s door showed a number three next to the Village of Rawlings crest. That was the same one Brad had been driving the day he practically arrested me for jaywalking.

I didn’t see him in the car, in the yard, or up by the house, and I wondered where he was hiding. My shoulders pulled back automatically as I put up my wall of defenses.

I made it to the front porch without incident and turned the door handle to go in.

“Tish.” I heard Brad’s call behind me. He waved from Dorothy Fitch’s front porch.

I watched with irritation as he gave Dorothy a hug. I refused to let the sweet gesture melt any part of my grudge toward Brad. From where I stood the two looked like Papa Bear and Baby Bear. Without her bulky coat, Dorothy had nothing to her.

Brad sprinted over to my yard. He took the porch steps two at a time. Then he was next to me, filling up a good chunk of vertical space.

“So tonight’s your big date, huh?” he asked.

I crossed my arms, giving him the cue to get to the point.

He passed me a white envelope.

I flipped it over. It was addressed to Patricia Amble.

That was me.

The return address listed the Village of Rawlings, Department of Building and Zoning.

That was Martin Dietz.

I glared at Brad. “I don’t believe this. Dietz told me he’d dispatched a denial letter. I thought he meant U.S. Mail, not private gopher.”

Brad’s eyes slanted. “Don’t shoot the messenger, Ms. Amble. I’m only doing my job.”

I rattled the letter at him. “Yeah, well, only in this screwed-up town are the cops in the pocket of the zoning board.”

“With good reason. Look at yourself. How do I know you’re not going to grab a shotgun and go after Dietz just for upholding a village ordinance?”

“Of course I wouldn’t do that. I’m not crazy.”

He humphed. “Maybe you’re not, but a few years ago, Dickie Boggs went nuts. The zoning board turned down his privacy fence application, and he took it out on the director. A shotgun in the face, right at his desk. It’s been village policy ever since to have armed officers be the bearers of bad news.”

A shiver snaked up my spine. Everyone in this town was on the edge.

I tucked the letter in the bag with my date clothes. The sight of the light blue fuzzy yarn reminded me that some things were more important than pushing through my cistern-demolition agenda at city hall. Tonight could have longer-term significance. After all, I planned on selling the Victorian next summer. But David and I might find ourselves in a more permanent arrangement. And that meant cooling off over the whole Martin Dietz thing so I didn’t drag my rage to dinner.

“Thank you, Officer.” I nodded to Brad in dismissal. “I promise I won’t take my aggression out on the honorable Mr. Dietz.”

I jerked open the storm door, turned my key in the lock, and scooted inside to lick my wounds.

Fortunately, I couldn’t bask in my misery too long.

Six o’clock was just a short time away.