Love Me Knot (8 page)

Ryan
grunted. “No, no. She’s right. The house was dark, the doors locked. Ciara abandoned ship.”

Ellie rolled her eyes and set down her knitting needles. “Of course she did. You dropped a massive bomb on your budding relationship. I’m not really sure why you’re surprised here.”

“Well, maybe she ran to the store and just locked up and turned out the lights,” Tyson persisted. “It doesn’t mean—”

“Excuse me, cuz,”
Ryan
patted his cousin on the shoulder before crossing the room to sit down on the couch near Ellie. “I think your wife is going to be better at doling out advice right now.”

Ellie preened and rubbed a hand over her rounded belly. “Of course I’m the better choice. I’m a chick.”

Tyson shook his head. “Screw it. I’m grabbing a beer.”

“Grab me one too,”
Ryan
hollered and glanced back at Ellie. “How do you know the whole back story on Ciara and I?”

“Tyson has no secrets from me, and he was less than thrilled to hear you were planning on screwing—quite literally—with
Lance
’s sister for revenge.”

“Ah for God’s sake—”

“And Wyattville is a small town. Word gets around quick in these parts.”

“Okay. So everybody knows what an asshole I am,” he grumbled. That pang of guilt he kept getting was like a damn ulcer. “What the hell do I do?”

“Did you apologize?”

Fuck, had he?
Ryan
frowned and struggled to remember. This afternoon had been one big fucking confrontation. First with
Lance
, and then with Ciara.

“I honestly can’t remember.”

“If you can’t remember, then you probably didn’t.”

“Okay. So I’ll apologize. What next?”

Ellie’s gaze turned considering. “Well, you need to ask yourself that. Ciara
does
live in Idaho. Even if you make things right you’re looking at a long-distance relationship. Unless you decided to jump on the train to commitmentland.”

Commitment. It was a word that used to give him hives. But he had to admit it’d been circling around in his head th
e
past few days.

“So you really need to ask yourself what you want,
Ryan
,” Ellie continued. “Look, over all you’re a nice guy. Yes, you like your women, but you’re genuinely a nice guy.”

Ryan
grunted. Not exactly sure he liked how he was being broken down.

“So what are you getting at?”

“You’re probably feeling a crapload of guilt right now. You need to figure out if this is just a guilt thing over a girl you grew to like and respect, or if you really do care for her.
If
you want a future with her.”

Ryan
’s heart thumped harder in his chest as Ellie’s words sunk in.

Tyson came back in the room and handed him a beer. “Ellie’s right. The bottom line is Ciara is gone. Maybe not on the best terms, but if you look at it, it’s a cut and dry end to whatever you guys had this past week. You could just walk away and not look back. Going after her would be the harder choice.”

Ryan
took a swig of beer, noting his hands weren’t quite as steady.

“I told myself not to drink the water...”

“Drink the water? What?” Ellie cast Tyson a quizzical look.

Tyson coughed. “Inside joke.”

“I’ve only known Ciara for a week.”

“Ellie and I weren’t together much longer, cuz.” Tyson dropped a kiss on his wife’s forehead.

“Exactly. Sometimes you just know when it’s right.” Ellie smiled and then lightly punched her husband in the shoulder. “And that’s for drinking a beer in front of me when you know I can’t indulge.”

Ryan
watched the intimate playful moment and then glanced away. Maybe those two had fallen in love within a short time frame, but was that what he felt for Ciara? And did she love him? Or
could
she love him after what he’d done to her?

“Either way,
Ryan
, it sounds like you’ve got some soul searching to do,” Ellie murmured sympathetically. “But in the mean time, I smell Chow Mein. Do a pregnant woman a favor and dish me up some?”

Despite the heaviness of his mood, his lips quirked and he moved to obey. Ellie was right, he had a lot to think on. 

There were basically two choices. Go after Ciara. Or walk away and go back to life as usual.

Chapter Ten

Ciara finished adding notes to a patient’s chart and then leaned back in the chair. She glanced around the fluorescent lights of the ICU ward and bit back a sigh.

Almost a week back at work and she was grateful for the diversion it gave her. Less time to think about
Ryan
.

He hadn’t called. Hadn’t texted. Once again there’d been complete silence on his end.

Though maybe part of that was her fault after fleeing town when she’d promised to have dinner with him.

Or maybe he was relieved that it gave him an easy out.

Her heart twisted a little and she blinked back the sting of tears. She was so conflicted.

She stood up and approached the charge nurse on duty.

“Hey, Carol, I’m going to take my break in a few.”

The older woman nodded without looking up from the chart she was glancing at. “Okay. Anything I should know about?”

“My patients are doing well. Everyone is stable.” Ciara’s gaze caught briefly on the man walking down t
he glass bridge hallway that led
to their ward. Did his build look familiar? Or was that wishful thinking?

“The patient in room seven was just medicated with Reglan and
is
doing better,” tension coiled through her as the man disappeared out of view for a moment, “but he may need some Zofran if the nausea contin...”

Ryan
stepped around the corner into the ICU and her knees buckled.

The charge nurse followed
her gaze and made a not-so-quiet
noise of interest.

“Good timing on that break,” Carol murmured and disappeared down the hall.

“Hey.”
Ryan
approached her, looking all too sexy in his jeans and button down black shirt.

Her tongue seemed to be glued to the roof of her mouth and she could barely form a response. Maybe she squeaked out some kind of hello?

Ryan
was here. Had come all the way from Oregon to a small hospital in Idaho.

“Did I hear that right?” He gave a slight smile. “Are you able to take a break right now?”

“Yeah, I’m due for a lunch.”

“You mind taking it with me?”
Even though the smile remained, there was uncertainty in his gaze. A nervousness that gave her a hope she didn’t want to feel.

“Sure.” She followed him out of the ward and to the elevators. She didn’t have her purse to buy anything, but right now food had just slipped on her priority list.

He was here.
Ryan
was here
. The realization kept spinning in her head.

Behind closed elevator doors the room seemed to shrink, leaving her with a heightened awareness of the man beside her. She tried not to stare at his shoulders and remember how they’d felt beneath her hands. Tried not to remember the sound of his laughter in her head, and how it could make her stomach flip.

Of course he wasn’t laughing right now, and her stomach still felt like it hosted a dozen butterflies.

“I was right,” he murmured, turning slightly to glance down at her.

“What?”

“You look just as gorgeous in scrubs and a ponytail as you did all dolled up at the wedding that day.”

A flush heated her face and she ducked her head. It meant nothing. This man was a born and b
r
ed flirt.

“Thank you.”

“My car’s out front. Thought we could go for a drive?”

“Sure.” God, she really wished she could get out more than a few words. She must sound like a complete idiot.

A few minutes later she settled in the front seat of a shiny black sports car.

He’d barel
y driven out of the parking lot
before the cork on her emotions popped off.

“I’m sorry,
Ryan
.”

He whipped his head to look at her. “Wait, what? Why the hell are
you
apologizing?”

“Because I left early.” She twisted her hands in her lap and kept her gaze lowered. “I st
ood you up for dinner when I kne
w you wanted to talk.”
             
“Shit, Ciara, you don’t owe me an apology. I don’t blame you one bit for taking off, I probably would’ve done the same.” He cursed. “Is there somewhere I can pull over? Where we can be somewhat private?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “There’s a small road about a mile
ahead
. Take a left and it’ll lead you to a lake.”

Ryan
floored the gas pedal and the car raced forward,
then
turned onto the road she’d mentioned. A few minutes later they were parked at the lake—or really more of a pond.

He turned in his seat to look at her. “First, let me just clear up one thing.”

“Oka—”

He cupped her face gently and closed his mouth over hers. The kiss sent her head spinning and her heart kick-starting.

When he lifted his head she was trembling and cursing herself mentally for being so damn easy with him.

“
This
. What we have between us has always been real.” He paused and ran his thumb over her lower lip. “But I won’t lie, Ciara. When I found out who you were I wanted to send you home. Knew I should let you go and not touch you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I couldn’t. I wanted you like I’ve never wanted a woman.” Guilt flickered in his already tormented eyes. “So I was a selfish asshole and slept with you that night knowing full well I’d send you off the next day and never call.”

Ciara’s heart pinched. “You know, I’m not really sure I want to hear this.”

“Please, let me finish.”

Why? So he could see the hurt and humiliation on her face?

But if anything, his gaze seemed to soften as he saw the tears in her eyes.

“Only it wasn’t that easy. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, darlin’. It didn’t take long for me to realize how much I needed you.” He moved to grab her hand and held it between his.

“How much I still need to you.”

Her blood pounded with each of his words and their context.

“I know I hurt you and I’m so sorry. But I hope you’ll consider giving me a second chance. I’m not perfect and this whole being in love thing is new to me.”

Her breath caught and she gripped his fingers. “You love me?”

“I do, Ciara. And I’ll be honest. This is a first for me. I’ve never been in love before. I’m glad you’re my first, and I’m kind of hoping you’ll be my last.”

Her heart careened with joy and the tears that were in her eyes spilled out to trail down her cheeks.

“But I live in Idaho.” Oh jeez, that was
her response
to his declaration of love?

“Yeah, about that part. I work for the Coast Guard, darlin’, and I can’t up and move.” He lifted her hand and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “But I was hoping I could talk you into moving to the coast, marrying me, and maybe applying for a job at the local hospital. I have some job applications in the back of the car for places that said they were hiring nurses.”

“Did you just...was that a marriage proposal slipped in between moving to the coast and applying for jobs?”

Ryan
winced. “I suck at romance.”

“Oh I don’t know. You had a few good moments when we were together.”

His gaze darkened. “Does this mean you’re thinking about it?”

“I need two weeks.”

He blinked and pulled back a little. “Oh. Right.
Yeah
, you should think about this—”

“I need to give the hospital two weeks,” she murmured and leaned forward to brush a kiss across his lips. “I would love to move to the coast, find a job, and marry you. And not necessarily in that order.”

Ryan
closed his eyes and she saw the shudder of relief that slipped through him.

“I thought you would hate me,” he confessed.

“I couldn’t hate you. I’m in love with you,
Ryan
. And that’s why I ran away that night, because realizing it scared the crap out of me.”

Ryan closed his eyes briefly and let out a shuddering breath.

“
I’ll be up here every weekend before you make the move,” he promised
thickly
. “And my nephew, your nephew, will be visiting Wyattville in
a few weeks. I’d love for you t
o meet him.”