Love Me: The Complete Series (36 page)

Robert turned to level his gaze with hers. “I’m sure she has her reasons.”

Jackson blew out a windstorm of air. “I’d sure like to know what they hell they are, wouldn’t you?” His eyes darted from one parent to the other, seeking agreement. Neither answered.

Amanda punched Jackson’s arm, imitating the way David had acted the day she carried her boxes of belongings out of the building for the final time. She reiterated the words overheard from David to Jackson that day: “Oh, come on. They don’t need to be bothered with trivial personality conflicts, right?” The words still made her stomach yearn for an antacid tablet.

The prior words from David, which had been passed down from Mr. Holstenar himself, were worse though: “Look, Amanda, Robert feels your attorney capabilities for the company are overshadowed by your lust for his son. He doesn’t think you have the right perspective.”

Seriously? She had tried to call them the next day and clarify exactly what her perspective on their business model involved but she was told they couldn’t be bothered as they were in meetings.

She’d walked in with the intention of finally airing her opinion—telling them what she thought of their preconceived judgment of her abilities and pompous idea that she’d
ever
lust after Jackson. Unfortunately, they ruined it with their empathy for Carter. It was impressive they worried so much they were willing to tolerate her rudeness. She felt six inches tall. The rest of the dinner was spent listening to Jackson and his parents reminisce about the two men’s history. Wow, you’d think Carter was a saint by what they were saying.

Later, his parents gave her an awkward handshake and left. After they paid for the dinner. Make that one-inch tall.

In the parking lot outside the restaurant, Amanda waited for Jackson to unlock the car. “Why do you think Carter’s never mentioned any of this? I mean, am I really such a cold person that he can’t tell me something so important? Did he think I wouldn’t understand? Am I really that horrible?”

“Of course not. Men aren’t that complicated, Mandy. If he wanted you to know, he’d tell you. It’s not something he wants to talk about, so he doesn’t.”

“Okay, but if you really are
dating
someone, shouldn’t they tell you personal things about themselves? I’ve never even met his parents.”

“Parent. His dad died a few years ago.”

Amanda’s heart twisted. “See?”

Inside the car, Jackson turned to her. His hand rested over the back of her seat and the warmth of his fingers hinted at rubbing her neck as Carter had done earlier. Why would that thought flit through her mind at a time like this?

“He doesn’t tell you those things because that would be
intimate
. For him to tell you, he’d have to feel close to you. You aren’t giving him any reason. Face it, you’re not an easy person to get close with. Hell, when were you planning to tell
me
you spoke Italian? Does he know? And what the hell did you say to that waiter to make him wink at you?” Jackson moved his hand from behind Amanda and started the car.

Was that true? She’d always felt like she was easy to know but not an emotional shirt-sleever, a term her father used. Being able to hide emotions and wrestle them into control at important moments was a key component of her success. Attorneys didn’t cry or burst into emotional rants. Not ever. Okay, she hadn’t really mastered that calmness with her family but at work, she was fine. No one knew what a bungled mess her insides were beyond the workplace.

“I told him I wanted to give my future wicked stepparents the best meal of their life so pour on the charm and bring me a stiff drink.” She held up a hand when his eyes bugged. “I know, I know. It was a lie but hey, he got a laugh out of it. Look, just because I don’t cry or throw tantrums doesn’t mean I’m standoffish. I can be intimate.” Had he forgotten the kiss in the elevator? She wished she could.

Jackson swerved the car to the curb and killed the engine. The sound of rain pounding on the roof echoed between them. Amanda waited. He turned to face her.

“I don’t really know what problem you have with my parents but I’ll assume it was work-related. You can tell me or not, your choice, but when it comes to Carter—that’s easy. Men are pretty simple. They like women who make them feel needed and wanted. Face it, Amanda, you have your life completely under control. You don’t need anything or anyone.”

He was wrong there—she definitely had an unfulfilled need. “I thought all men wanted was to get laid.”

He snickered. “Well, that’s true, but if we’re gonna hang around we have to know that you want us there.”

“And that you’ll get laid.” She wasn’t an idiot. She’d seen Jackson with a few girls in college. Enough to know his motivation was purely physical.

He shrugged. “Every healthy relationship has its physical parts. I guarantee you, there’s only three steps to getting and keeping Carter. Or any man, to be honest. None of them has to be in any particular order, they just have to be ‘in the mix’ at some point. First, you have to make him feel needed. Second, you have to feed his ego. Third, give him sex, the more the better.”

Amanda rolled her eyes. “It’s really only a one-step process, isn’t it? Give him sex.”

Jackson grinned and held up his hands. “Well, a guy can last a bit with a girl in a purely physical relationship. We’re not complicated, and that’d work for a while, but long term, we need a little more.”

“Yeah, right.”

“We do, seriously. So, tell you what I’ll do. Tomorrow, you and I will go do a little ‘man training.’ Meet me at the Starbucks by his office and we’ll see what we can do to help you catch and keep my friend.”

“What makes you think I can’t do that on my own? I can be all those things without coaching. In fact, I
am
all those things. What about the kiss earlier? Surely it wasn’t
that
forgettable?” God, she wanted another one. She tried not to share into his eyes. Right now.

Jackson leaned into her, his mouth inches away, and grinned. “I forget nothing, babe, and that kiss was a great start. Needs a little more work but definitely a good way to get his motor running. Provided you follow through.”

What? “Follow through? What was wrong with it? You seemed pretty involved at the time.”

He focused on her mouth and for a second Amanda thought he’d lean in for another taste. “Nothing was wrong and for the record, I
was
involved. Kinda hard not to be when you go all octopus on me … but I’m not the guy you’re trying to snag here.”

He wasn’t? Oh, of course. Carter. Amanda tore her gaze from his face and shoved out of the car. She didn’t care if the rain drenched her; she needed a little distance. She rounded to the driver’s door and waited for him to join her. Which he did. He stepped right into her, pressing the full length of his lanky body against hers, then leaning down to put his lips to her ear. His voice tickled, sending shots of warmth down her neck. “I’ll see you at ten tomorrow morning. Should I get you one of those lattes you like?”

Oh, God. Kill me now.
She nodded. She didn’t need his help but damned if her body didn’t want more of his touch.

The following morning Jackson stepped out of the shower and wiped the steam from the bathroom mirror. The small room smelled of fresh soap. He reached in the cabinet for a razor, then frowned at his reflection. The situation with Amanda was hysterical if he thought about it much. He was going to give her advice, pointers—training, so to speak—on how to take Carter from casual dating to full-fledged relationship. It was funny because he’d never really managed to maintain a relationship for long himself, and Carter wasn’t her type at all.

Amanda needed someone serious about his future. Driven. Willing to work long hours for his career and able to squeeze in time with a woman around a hectic business life. Amanda had made no bones about wanting to be a good attorney and build a reputation. Any man who dated her had to respect that. The man should respect her intelligence as much or more than the fact that she was the kind of woman that people couldn’t ignore. Beautiful and sexy in a simple, don’t-give-a-shit way, yet always pristinely dressed.

Wait.

Jackson fumbled and dropped his razor in the sink. He cursed, retrieved it, and started shaving. Hell, who was he kidding? Carter was perfect—they were identical. Two peas in a pod. Two workaholics with no social life whatsoever.

Shit.
Carter was
exactly
her type. Why did that piss him off?

Amanda needed someone like herself. Jackson’s Dad had seen it the minute he introduced her. Dad had a way of manipulating people that only lifetime attorneys could manage. It was his best talent and the most annoying trait in a parent. When Jackson was younger, he rebelled and fought the “coercion techniques” that his father used to corral him away from inappropriate or embarrassing behavior. Jackson learned quickly that if he listened without responding, a debate could never occur. Once the lecture was over, he simply chose to do what he wanted.

That worked because all of his friends were close by and would cover for him and he did the same. It didn’t take long to see that most of these “friends” were destined to never leave home and very likely some would have a long fight with either drugs or trouble. Jackson tried to distance himself but when you spent all your time growing up with kids, you just didn’t always see the warning signs until you were so far past the starting point there was no going back.

When his parents decided to move to the country, it made him furious. No kid liked to uproot and leave all his friends behind. Looking back, it was the smartest thing they’d done. His mom hadn’t really wanted to make the move and over time the strain between his parents took a toll. He’d come home to some hellacious fights. To avoid all the drama, he often would crawl out his bedroom window and take his bike for a ride. The first few weeks, he spent a lot of time sitting on the dock at Carter’s house pondering how screwed up his life was. Of course, at that time, he didn’t know it was Carter’s house.

The night Carter showed up on the dock and scared the hell out of him had been a particularly bad fight night for his parents. One of the ones that made him fear for the future.

“Whatcha doing there, kid? Don’t you know this is private property?” It was mid-July and Carter wore a torn T-shirt that looked like it hadn’t been white in months. His shorts looked like they’d been equally worn-in, something that made Jackson like him instantly.

That night Jackson knew his face was streaked from crying but he sucked in a breath and chose his best smart-ass voice. “Uh, no, I don’t see any fricking signs anywhere.” Yes, he’d used the biggest curse word he knew and felt damn proud of himself.

Carter pointed at the road. “We have a fence. People don’t put fences around things that don’t belong to them.”

Jackson had snot running down his face. He also had tears but if he swiped wide across his face, he knew he could get all of it and maybe the kid wouldn’t notice. As Carter stepped closer Jackson ran his fingers across one cheek, then under the nose, and back.

“Yeah, well,
most
people have fences to keep animals and stuff in,
not
to keep kids out. Besides, it’s not like I’m hurting anything. I’m just sitting here. You got a problem with that, I’ll leave.”

Carter squinted with one eye and stilled. He shifted from foot to foot in only a way that a boy not comfortable with emotional situations can. “I don’t got a problem. Sit all you want.
I’m
gonna try noodling. You ever done that? It’s where you dig down into the mud and try to pull a catfish out. I saw something on this show where these guys were doing that in a river and they got this huge one.” Carter held his hands wide to signify size.

Thus began their friendship. They spent almost an hour digging in the mud finding nothing but more mud, catching frogs, and then hosing off behind Carter’s barn. It was the best time he’d had in months. From then on, they were inseparable. Until Carley died.

Jackson wiped the fog from the mirror again and shrugged.

Amanda deserved Carter and vice versa.

Amanda loved Saturdays, especially Saturday mornings. It was the one time she let herself be lazy. She rose from bed at a very late eight in the morning, threw on sweats and a baggy shirt, then ate toast and drank tea while reading the news on her tablet.

Nine forty-five. She’d already scrubbed the counters in the kitchen and bathroom
plus
washed every stitch of laundry in the hamper. She should leave right this minute if she wanted to be on time with Jackson.

No, she wasn’t going.

She didn’t need his help to get a date, nor to get a
relationship.
She snorted and plodded barefoot to the bathroom. Staring at her makeup-free face in the mirror, she grabbed a brush and attacked her wild hair. Okay, maybe she wasn’t exactly gorgeous at the moment but who cared? She was comfortable.

Smart.

Men loved a smart, accomplished woman. Right? She leaned into the mirror and examined the bags under her eyes. Smart and tired-looking.

Thirty minutes later, Amanda strode into the coffee shop in the same sweats and shirt with her oldest pair of sneakers on her feet. She’d tied her hair in a retro side ponytail and brushed her teeth. If Jackson wanted to school her, she’d make it a challenge, and show him her worst self. Her Saturday self.

Jackson shoved a steaming paper cup filled with tannish froth toward her and snickered. “You look charming. Just get out of bed?”

She reached for a packet of sweetener and shook it twice, then started to tear it open. He grabbed her hand and shook his head. “Already did that. One sweetener and a shake of cinnamon. You’re good to go.”

He remembered how I liked to drink a latte?
What did that mean?
“Thanks—for the drink, not the charming comment. For your information, I’ve been up and cleaning all morning. It’s Saturday. My lazy, comfy day. These are my comfy clothes. What’s wrong with ’em?”

She was ready for a fight if he wanted to insult.
Just go there, Jackson. Make me lose my temper.