Love Me: The Complete Series (65 page)

Eric hung his head as if the word stung. “I just can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry. Roger, you need to grow up—and fast. It’s time you started helping out and paying your share. Your mother’s going to need you.”

“Are you
crazy
?
Or maybe sick or something? You’re our
dad
for Christ’s sake ... the guy who took me fishing and camping. Hell, you
molded
me. If this is about Mom, maybe it’s just an empty-nester thing. We’re almost all gone now—that can’t be easy, but it’s no reason to cut and run. You two should celebrate. You should be going somewhere
together.
Getting to know each other again ... ”

Without lifting his eyes, Eric shook his head. “I can’t do it, son. I’ve tried. It’s just not working.”

“
What
can’t you do? Pay the bills? I can get a part-time job and pay for school if that’s the issue. I only need one more semester to finish. I—”

Roger’s father turned his back on the room—too cowardly to face them. “The money isn’t the issue. I’ve lived all my life working to make everyone else happy, helping all of you find your way. Not once in all that time have I ever had a chance to find my own. I have to do this—for me. I met someone, Roger, someone who understands me and tries to make
me
happy. She’s fantastic, and I finally feel like I’m discovering who I am—or at least like I’ve found a path. We work together. I’m leaving my job, and soon we’re going off on our own. We can’t afford to get off to a bad start. Just know that I love you very much.”

Eric Freeman left the room without looking any of his children in the eye. This was for him? Was there nothing about his family that made him happy? It was all too much a burden, all those years together? Jesus, was he for real?

What a fricking piece of work.

Caroline’s time with her mother was too brief, but she was glad to return to school and have some privacy. Her mother was a hoverer, and while it was nice to be pampered, it got old in a matter of hours. Refreshed and reenergized, Caroline delved into her new and final semester with vigor. At night she researched and applied to potential internships—and debated texting Roger. Surely a simple “what’s up” would be okay? But she refrained.

Caroline stared at the blank screen of her cell phone. Roger had left for the holidays without a word. Now four weeks had passed without a call. Jesus, he could at least let her know he was okay, right? Just because she had refused to meet his family didn’t mean they couldn’t hang out.

She had intended to just leave Roger alone after he’d asked her—
and
her mother
—to his family celebration. She had freaked and shut it down. What was the point when they’d both graduate in May and go their separate ways? They hadn’t known each other long enough to disrupt their lives for—whatever they had.

Caroline grabbed a pile of mail from her mailbox and thumbed through. The
New York Times.
Holy cow, was this a response to her internship application? Could she be so lucky? She ripped the envelope open and surveyed the letter. She’d been accepted for one of five traveling news internships, each in a different territory, all of which were a plane flight away. “I got it! Oh my God, I got it!”

She jumped up and down and pumped her fist in the air. Her plan was falling into place. She started to grab her phone to call Roger. But after rereading the words, she hesitated. It was an
unpaid
internship, with no guarantee of future employment. Still, it was
something
.

She stuffed the acceptance letter in her camera bag—a nice little reminder of the bright career ahead. She’d seen her father’s journalistic work, and as good as it looked, she knew she could do better—or at least equally well. But things with Roger were somehow unfinished. They’d been hot and heavy before the break, but only in a temporary, college-fling way. Then she blew it.

Why had he ruined everything by asking her to go home with him? Ugh. The thought of meeting his family brought chills to her soul. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to meet them; she just wasn’t ready. There was something
permanent
about doing so—which seemed irresponsible considering her plans to be gone by summer.

It had been awkward. In the end, Roger just held her gaze for five long seconds. She knew for how long because she’d counted in her head while waiting for him to say something. He hadn’t said a word—just shrugged, shoved his hands in his pockets, and strode off without a care. Her pride hadn’t allowed her to ask if he would call while he was gone—or if she’d see him when he returned. She assumed he would.

Bad assumption.

Her phone chimed to remind her of a pending photo session at a fiftieth-anniversary party off-campus. Not only were they married a hell of a long time, but the couple had both served in the military and were decorated vets.
This should be fun.
A day full of war stories and travel memories. It was sure to make the average two-hour gig stretch into four or five hours.

Caroline hoped not—she wanted to go to the beach before dark. She’d even put her swimsuit on under the skirt and T-shirt she’d donned for the party. The strings of her bikini top were tucked under the neck—no one would notice. She had an hour to get to the party and set up—fifteen minutes was all that she required. She turned the camera on for one last check. Batteries charged. Extra batteries packed. Memory chips in outside pocket. She flipped the button to review the current memory chip and see if she needed to swap it out. Yep, it was full. She popped it out and inserted a spare then checked again.

Oh, crap.

Pictures of Roger’s frat brother, Nathan, stared her in the face from their short moments on campus. She’d never rescheduled his photo session. She scrolled through the snapshots. Wow, not bad considering the deception she’d used to get them. He looked ... nice. She grinned, acknowledging her talent with a camera. Nathan was definitely not nice—but she’d taken some great pictures. She should call him and offer to show them. She popped out the card slid and empty one into place.

With the camera stowed in her car, she decided to end her vow of silence with Roger. After all, she knew what it was like to just stop talking, and it wasn’t a good feeling. Her dad had all but abandoned them in search of his big story, and she wouldn’t do the same to people she cared about. She wouldn’t let it happen again, and she wouldn’t let their friendship drift off into the unknown. It was too hurtful.

Five minutes later, she turned into Roger’s driveway and honked. Yeah, it was annoying and lame, but so was his apathy. Conan’s barking thundered through the walls followed by Roger’s voice as he shushed the dog. Caroline stepped from the car and approached the door. Halfway there, the screen screeched open.

“Caroline ... Hi. What are you doing?” His face was shadowed in days of beard growth. His shoulders sagged. Roger appeared ... ill. He looked like hell warmed over.

Her heart twisted. She’d intended to be mad—confrontational, even. But his hair shagged around his cheekbones and dipped into the crevices of the missing dimples. Several days of growth on his chin made him look like he’d been on a four-week hunting trip instead of a family holiday celebration.

Something had happened. His haggard face and soft brown eyes gave her the feeling that an interrogation wouldn’t be appropriate. Perhaps he needed warmth or acceptance instead. She softened her voice. “I was wondering the same thing about you. Are you sick?”

His smile was a façade. “No, I’m good. It’s just—”

Caroline closed the gap between them and stood inches from his face. The shadows of the beard weren’t the only rough edges on Roger; his eyes were clouded and grim. “Look,” she said, “I wanted to explain. I, um, panicked when you asked me to go with you. I wasn’t ready for a big family thing.”

Roger rubbed the back of his neck with his fingers. “Don’t worry about it. In fact, things would have been more awkward with you there. My parents split up.”

Holy crap. No wonder he’d been silent for days. “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry—are you okay?” She placed her fingers on his forearm, not sure if he’d jerk away.

“Yep. It’s good. I’m good. All is ... good. He just decided out of the blue that he needed to ‘find his way.’ Can you believe that shit? What the hell does that mean? He’s a grown man. If he doesn’t know who the hell he is or what his fricking way is, it’s a little late now. What the hell has he been doing all this time?”

Caroline focused on his face, waiting for him to meet her gaze. “I don’t know what to say. I, uh, I’m sorry.”

He studied her for a minute; she felt his eyes drop to her lips then lift to meet hers. “It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either.”

Roger said nothing.

Caroline swallowed against a wad of cotton-like dryness in her mouth. What the hell do you say to comfort someone in such a situation? She hadn’t a clue. Her father had been out of the picture for a while, and it still stung. Maybe nothing? Perhaps he needed to get away from the drama? She gulped. “I have a gig this afternoon, but I planned to head to the beach after and take some pictures for a project. I know it’s probably not all that exciting but ... you wanna come along?”

“What kind of gig?”

Her stomach sank—of all things, did it have to be an anniversary party? “Fiftieth anniversary for a couple of veterans. You don’t have to come along—I probably shouldn’t have asked.” What a dumb suggestion.

“No, I’ll go. The beach sounds great. I’m ... not sure about the other thing, but hey, you probably need someone to carry your gear, right?” He offered a genuine smile, and Caroline’s heart squeezed again—lord, she’d missed his dimples.

“If I needed a pack mule, I could always ask your buddy, Nathan,” she teased.

He snickered. “Go for it—I dare you.”

She lifted a brow, but the playful gesture was lost on Roger as he turned to lock his door. In fact, he remained fairly quiet until the party ended and they arrived at the beach. She spread the blanket she’d packed, set her camera gear down, and pulled off her shirt to reveal her bikini top.

Roger tsked. “No more polka dots?”

“This is my swimsuit, not my underwear.”

“I figured as much. I like the look. So, when you said veteran’s anniversary earlier, I wasn’t expecting a wedding anniversary.”

A ting of guilt thumped Caroline in the head. She had been slightly evasive, but it wasn’t intended to be hurtful. “Under the circumstances, I was afraid you’d say no. Was it uncomfortable? I saw you dancing with the bride’s nieces and nephews, so I assumed you were okay.”

“Not uncomfortable at all. In fact, it was perfect. Good to see that some people really
can
make it work despite the statistics.”

Caroline pulled her camera from its compartment and turned to snap a trio of seagulls that swooped low seeking crumbs. She laughed when they dove closer. “I’m starting to think I smell like fish.”

Roger squinted into the bright sky. “They’re attracted to the reflection off your camera. Better watch out: this could get ugly.”

A gull swooped in and grabbed a few strands of her hair, yanking as it pulled away. “Holy crap! They want to eat me. Do I look like breadcrumbs or something? They must be desperate.”

Roger broke into full smile. “I’d say you look more like candy. They’re not desperate; they’re just craving something sweet.”

Oh, that was nice. Caroline flapped her arms over her head and beaned one of the birds with her camera. It screeched, and the tiny flock scattered. Whew, bird-pecking crisis averted.

Roger dropped down onto the blanket. He raised a knee and propped his arm across it. “That was a pretty cool ceremony earlier. Sad and inspiring at the same time. Sad because I know I’ll never be one of those people, but inspiring because they were heroes in more ways than we can count. They served our country. They obviously were good parents if you judge the number of children and grandchildren running around. They looked genuinely happy, too—which surprised me.”

Caroline lowered to her knees beside him and placed the camera on the blanket. “It’s so rare to see people at their age who still like each other and want to be together. Or at least it seems rare.”

He nodded. “Makes me want to be them.”

“Old and feeble with no memory?”

Roger’s hair flapped in the wind as he shook his head. “Since my dad decided to ... do his thing, I’ve thought a lot about life and family. I have this theory.”

Her attempt to lighten the mood had failed miserably. She leaned back onto her elbows and sprawled her feet in front of her. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

“I think people have three basic needs in life, no matter their age. Without those three fulfilled, they can’t survive. Or at least not happily. The first one is obviously sustenance: food and water. The second is shelter.”

Caroline blinked and turned to watch waves crash to shore nearby. “Of course.”

“I guess, but that could mean a lot of things. It could be a house or a tent, a mansion, or a cabin in the woods. That’s where all our nonessential wants come into play. None of it would matter if the third need were perfect. That’s the most important one.”

The conversation had officially gotten seriously deep. Caroline felt a chill roll over her shoulders. She debated pulling her shirt on, but she clutched her knees instead and waited for him to finish. The clouds were fading to pink around the edges, a reminder she wanted to take a few more pictures before dark. Still he needed to say whatever was on his mind.

“The third need—which most people neglect but in reality is probably the biggest—is a purpose. People have to feel like they have a passion, a reason for being here and tromping to work every day. A reason for paying the bills and putting up with that nagging boss or whiny coworker. That’s what we’re all seeking.”

Caroline leveled her gaze on him. He was serious. “You know, I totally agree. I have always thought that’s what was missing. I’ve wanted to be a journalist since I was twelve, and I can’t wait until I graduate and can get out there and start working. For some reason, it feels like walking away from a tied game in the ninth inning. You don’t want to leave it undecided. My dad’s been gone for—a while—on assignment. I haven’t seen him in forever. He’s a journalist, too.”