Love Me With Fury (29 page)

The deal concluded, Sebastian hurried to tell Alex of the expediency of their plan. She was overjoyed to hear the ship would sail at dawn. Gone so quickly and secretly, Josh wouldn’t stand a chance of pursing her! Learning she had to be aboard at first light, Alex ate a light supper, bathed, and went to bed. Understanding her fatigue and anguish, Sebastian didn’t press for her company. At long last, he could repay his friend for saving his life, but Charles Hampton wouldn’t even know of it. No matter, he did.

Not far away, a frantic conversation was going on between a furious Spencer, a tense Andy, and an embarrassed George. Deciding to make certain Angelique was well aware.of her impending fate if she refused to obey him, Spencer had returned later to test her. If she had relented, she could even join him at the party.

“I’m sorry, Capt’n. She caught me by surprise,” George meekly stated, crushing the flower in his hand as he gazed at the wealth in the other.

“She’s a cunning vixen, George. I don’t blame you,” he vowed, rubbing the very spot where Angelique had smacked him long ago. Gone? Where? In a place like this, she was probably in trouble by now. “Bring some of the men ashore, Andy. We best find our wandering siren before she lands in someone’s eager lap.”

“She was wearing a bright red dress, Capt’n, one of
them fancy gowns like them rich ladies wear. We’ll spot her in a minute. I’ll go looking now since I’m partly to blame. What should I do with this necklace?”

“You stay here and rest, George. With luck she’ll come to her senses and return before dark. If she does, tie her to a chair!” he harshly ordered. “As for the necklace, keep it; she meant it as a gift to soften her blow,” he murmured, wondering at her strange action.

Outside the tall structure, he paused to curse under his breath. Andy couldn’t help but say, “I told you it was a bad idea to let her hear us talking. You can’t blame her for panicking and running. She’s quite a surprise, isn’t she? The first woman all that charm didn’t work on,” he jovially teased his moody friend.

“That’s the trouble, Andy; she’s just as stubborn and willful as I am. It’s no joke, friend. She could be in real danger. Look around us: pirates, criminals, cutthroats, scum. For all we know, some villain might have truly sold her to Maria’s by now! Worse, she’s a treasure any captain would steal. Damn! I was too rough on her, wasn’t I?”

“Don’t tell me you’re seeing the light this late? I hope we find her, Josh. This time, take her home,” he entreated gravely.

Spencer grinned. “That’s exactly what I plan to do.”

Andy stared at him. “Do you mean what I think?”

“Why not? If anyone can keep her safe and under wraps, it’s Thomas Canter. You’re right; maybe I need to take another look at her. If she is the perfect woman
you seem to think, I’d be a fool to lose her.”

Andy laughed and slapped him on the back. “Now you’re thinking clearly, Captain. After all, a beauty dressed like that can’t traipse about unnoticed.”

“Before bedtime, Angel will be lying next to me,” he confidently stated. They headed off down the street to question anyone in sight.

Hours passed and total darkness claimed the seaport. Not a soul admitted to seeing a woman in a red dress. Not even the enormous reward announced for her safe return brought any results. Exhausted and alarmed, the men met in Spencer’s room to discuss this trying problem. It was clear by now their search wasn’t going to be easy or swift. Either someone was hiding her, had kidnapped her, or…or what? Spencer apprehensively pondered.

It just wasn’t possible for her to escape unseen. He checked out a theory of his, bewildered and distressed to discover she hadn’t taken all of her jewels, just a couple of pieces. If she was lucky enough to find some honest man, she had only enough to pay for passage and food. Trouble was, even honest men became greedy and evil at the sight of such riches and vulnerable beauty. He dreaded to imagine his beloved . Angel in the brutal hands of some real pirate or slaver.

That night was long and tense for both Alex and Spencer. She feared he would find her, and he feared he wouldn’t. Within a mile of each other, they both paced their shadowy rooms in pensive speculation. Had they found each other again only to lose each
other once more, this time permanently? Who and where was this ravishing girl whom the earth had seemed to disappear without a trace?

Dawn finally showed her face of pinks and grays. Under the guard of Governor Kindelan and hidden behind the heavy drapes of his personal carriage, Alex passed within two feet of Spencer and his anxious men as they desperately began another futile search for her as she made her way to the dock. While Spencer’s group was posting a reward for her return, Alex was being taken aboard the
Agatha
to head for her uncle’s, hidden behind those similar veils of mourning.

As the hull of the Spanish privateer caught the morning tide and eased from her berth, Spencer and his crew frantically entered every establishment and house to ask about her. Days passed as Alex clung to her room, the boredom acceptable this time. The governor’s guard was never far from her door. Running with the winds and tides, this voyage was brief. As Alex thanked the guard for his assistance, he helped her into a carriage which would take her back to the home of Henry Cowling just outside the city of Philadelphia.

In San Augustin, Spencer was forced to give up his fruitless hunt for his Angel after three days of checking every clue or hope to find them empty. The burden of his guilt and loss weighed heavily upon his warring mind and heart. There was nothing more he could do. His ship repaired, he set sail to return in three weeks for Kindelan’s answers to his proposals.

Kindelan was mystified by the abrupt change in this intriguing man, but never questioned his sudden distraction and apparent sadness. His mind filled with other matters, he was totally unaware this same man had offered a steep reward for the return of a missing girl who fit Alexandria’s description. Before he agreed to an American stronghold in his territory, he would confer with Minister D’Onis first. After all, those aggressive Americans were still camped on nearby Amelia Island and had perviously conquered the western portion of this territory!

Alex knocked timidly upon the front door of her uncle’s stately home. When the servant answered it, he looked stunned to find her standing there alone and looking lost. He was even more confused when she burst into tears and begged to see her uncle immediately.

Upon hearing she was back and in a state of emotional upheaval, Henry hurried to check out this unimaginable event. Between sobs and tremors, Alex related the same tale she had given to the Spanish governor of Florida. This time, she added how she had escaped those fierce pirates and how Kindelan had aided her return here.

Henry’s mouth was agape as he listened to this horrifying tale of danger and daring. “I knew it was wrong to send you away alone,” he berated himself.

“It isn’t your fault, Uncle Henry. I was stupid and
defiant. Even with Tessa along, the results could have been the same. You were right all along; it’s too dangerous to go home now. I’ve learned a terrible lesson; I’ll never do anything like that again.”

“Your father will be furious with both of us. You could have been killed,” he murmured fearfully.

“We can’t ever tell him, Uncle Henry. He would blame himself. It won’t happen again. I swear it. It’s over now. Let’s forget it ever happened,” she urged.

“But…” he began to protest, but she quickly cut him off.

“No, let it pass. Please. I’m so tired. I couldn’t rest on the ship, not after what happened last time. Could I rest before we talk anymore?”

“Of course, child. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal. I’m proud of you, Alex. You showed great courage and wisdom,” he complimented her.

Feeling guilty about her time with Stephen, she lowered her lashes to conceal those warring emotions from his keen eyes. She withdrew the tight bundle within her dress. “I managed to steal a few of my jewels before I escaped, but I couldn’t bring the rest or any clothes along. Whatever shall I do?” she wailed dejectedly at the thought of her missing clothes.

“You are a true gem yourself, Alex. Leave it to a female to rescue her jewels at any risk,” he teased her. “We’ll have all new clothes made.”

“Thank you, Uncle Henry,” she murmured, easing up to kiss his plump cheek.

She went to her old room and threw herself upon her bed without even asking about Tessa. She
desperately needed rest and solitude to sort out some plaguing thoughts and feelings. Surely she had seen Joshua Steele for the last time. But why did that reality torment her? She wept silently until fatigue claimed her. It was the first of September of 1812, and here she was stranded in a land at war with her own country. What now?

“O! Call back yesterday, bid time return.”
—
Richard II,
William Shakespeare

Those first two weeks back in Philadelphia passed in a painful blur for Alex. Unable to tell anyone the truth about her recent adventures, she suffered and struggled in lonely silence. Before meeting Captain Joshua Steele, her main concern had been to outwit her father’s determination to arrange a proper marriage for her. Now, her whole world seemed physically and emotionally topsy-turvy.

Many nights she had awakened in body-shaking sobs, hugging her pillow in urgent need of a fulfillment only Stephen could grant. Would this pain and hunger never cease to torment her? Would his memory always be so agonizingly alive? Her lack of appetite and sleep created a tense, moody girl in the place of the once carefree girl who had first arrived here the end of May.

Henry fretted over these new changes in his lovely niece. Yet, feeling he knew the reason behind her lingering fears and emotional turmoil, he did all within his power to draw her out of this melancholy and
reserved state. He grimaced at the sadness and lack of sparkle in her. It was unlike Alex to be so quiet and to spend so much time alone in her room. He couldn’t even entice her to go riding, to visit his friends, to attend special dinners, or to entertain guests. She seemed content to suffer in lonely silence.

Whenever he would find her playing the pianoforte in his morning room, they were always somber songs which matched this new and vexing mood of hers. Even the seamstress was forced to come to his home to fit, size, and deliver her new wardrobe. Although knowing very little about women’s clothing or fashions, Henry had made himself present on each occasion to prevent her selection of drab colors and plain gowns. What was wrong with the girl? She had never been excessively vain about her beauty and good taste, but now it seemed to matter little what she wore or how she looked. If she had been aware of her beauty and appeal before this tragic episode, she was totally ignorant of them now. These things worried Henry. It just wasn’t like a female to be so disinterested in life.

One night after dinner, with Alex picking over her plate as usual, Henry suggested a stroll in his colorful garden. Sighing as if utterly exhausted, the spiritless girl declined, saying she was going to bed early: another trait which nettled her exasperated uncle.

“Tarnation, Alexandria! You cannot go on indefinitely like this! You aren’t the first person to face a personal tragedy!” he suddenly exploded. “I’ve just about endured the limits of my patience and temper! I’ve done everything I can imagine to draw you from
this deathly state. You’re too young and beautiful to wither away! How can you tolerate this morbid mood all the time? You’re acting like a spoiled brat who’s had some bully steal her candy! Where’s all that sparkle and spirit?”

“They were lost at sea,” she replied, half in anger and half in sadness.

“Then find some way to get them back! Those pirates couldn’t have done more damage to you if they had killed you! You’re letting them destroy your whole life, child. Is that what you want, to let them win? My lord, Alex, did you give them your soul to survive?”

Stunned by the vehemence and anguish in his face and voice, Alex began to ponder his.words and her behavior.

“I know it was a terrible experience for anyone to endure, but let it die. Don’t let it consume you like this,” he urged her. “You aren’t even trying to help yourself get over this vile act against you. You refuse every offer of help I give. You’re giving in to your troubles. Don’t! Fight them, Alex, and I’ll help you. Put on some pretty clothes and get out of this house! Have some fun for a change. It’ll do wonders for you, I promise.”

“But what if I run into one of those awful men again?” she wailed, exposing one of her deep concerns.

“Pirates don’t sail into guarded ports like ours,” he argued. “You’d hardly meet a man like that at dinner or out riding,” he continued.

Yet, Alex knew how easily Captain Joshua Steele could fit into any situation. Without his suave disguise, he was accepted anywhere he chose to go. He had been in England; he had been at the mansion of the governor in Florida. He had frequently anchored near many American ports to visit and stroll among these people. He could just as easily and safely sail into this port.

“Pirates lead dangerous lives, Alex. They spend most of their time at sea or holed up in some slimy place with their confederates. The chances of ever seeing any one of them again is practically nil,” he reasoned. “Between the American and English fleets, that ship of scoundrels could be at the bottom of the ocean right now.”

Instead of giving her comfort, that statement alarmed her. Stephen, Andy, George, Tim, Tully and the others gone forever? Dead or captured? She fiercely rejected that possibility with all her being. But her uncle was right; she was merely existing. Stephen had brutally and unforgivably betrayed and used her, but she couldn’t allow him or any man to devastate her.

Alex glanced over at her worried uncle and smiled at him, really smiled at him for the first time since June. She sighed heavily, this time in rising determination. “You’re right, Uncle Henry; I’m hurting myself as much as he did. Shall we make a new attempt to revive the old Alex?” She laughed mirthfully. “Perhaps not the old Alex, but a wiser and better one,” she joked lightly. She paused, then continued. “I really was a
terrible nuisance, wasn’t I? I honestly didn’t mean to distress you so. Papa was too lenient and indulgent with me. I was a spoiled, hateful brat. I really had some growing up to do. Change is difficult and painful, Uncle Henry. Papa knew what he was doing; he knew a marriage would settle me down. Yet even now, the thought of some empty, pre-arranged deal sounds disgusting.” As she chatted aimlessly, she only halfbelieved what she was saying. But marriage would offer her some protection from harsh life and these feelings of guilt over Joshua. Love and passion like that surely came only once in a person’s life. Her heart was ravaged by the thought of never experiencing such exquisite emotions again. Damn him, he would pay dearly for this anguish and shame…if they ever met again!

With eyes glimmering with renewed life, she cautioned, “Just don’t push me too fast, Uncle Henry. Let me take this rebirth a pain at a time.”

He chuckled and smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges. A thought came from nowhere and she questioned, “Did you ever learn where Tessa went and why?”

“I’ll never understand that girl, Alex. She’s as headstrong and willful as you were,” he stated, bringing laughter at his last word.

“She just packed up and left without anyone seeing her? What about the baby and money?” she asked, concerned about this flighty and brazen girl who was a mystery to her. Tessa had been her personal maid for over a year before this fateful trip. But in all their time
together, Tessa had revealed little about herself or her feelings. In her pregnant unwed state and without money, why would she simply take off like that? How would she survive?

Suddenly Alex beamed with a new idea. “What about a man, Uncle Henry? Perhaps she ran off with some new love. She couldn’t have gone far without money or assistance.”

“That could be right. Frankly, I was glad she left. She surely liked men and let them know it,” he said disappointingly of Tessa’s lack of morals. “I wonder if her new fellow realized she was carrying another man’s child. She was sick for a long time, even took to her bed for nearly a week after you left. The maid said she was having lots of pain and was weak for days. She could have fooled this new lad. With her plump figure, she didn’t even look pregnant after her worse bout of illness. Fact is, she looked and acted like nothing was wrong when she finally got up and around.”

“Perhaps she miscarried and didn’t tell anyone, Uncle Henry. That would certainly explain everything. If she was ready to carry on like before, she knew she couldn’t do it here. She’s probably working in some tavern or roadhouse miles away. It really doesn’t matter; Tessa was always strange and flighty. She never made a good servant, but I hated to tell Papa to let her go. I should be ashamed of myself, but I was partially happy about her illness on the voyage over here; it kept her out of my hair—which she never could fix right anyway,” she added, giggling cheerfully.

“I hate to confess, Alex, but I had the entire house searched after her disappearance. I feared she had stolen something to pay the way for her departure. She just wasn’t trustworthy or dependable.”

“Was anything missing?” she asked.

“Not that I could discover, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find some unnoticeable and valuable object missing. That’s all in the past. Let’s discuss getting you out of this confining house,” he suggested, a twinkle in his eyes.

“What did you have in mind?” she suspiciously inquired.

“Shopping? Dinner with the Gillises? A small party here?” he offered her some choices, recalling her words about pressure.

“I really don’t need to buy anything else, Uncle Henry. You’ve given me so much as it is,” she protested his generosity with vivid appreciation.

“Since when was the day when a female didn’t want to go shopping for some frivolous items?” he merrily ventured, delighting in this new mood.

She smiled radiantly. “Idle shopping has never been one of my pastimes, and you know it,” she chided him gently. “As for a party here, I’m not sure I’m ready to be all smiles and entertain guests for an entire evening. Who’ll be at the Gillises?” she asked, feeling obligated to accept one of his suggestions.

“The Hardys, the Wellses, the Howards, the Carters, and the Greys,” he added the last name with vivid amusement.

“I see what you’re up to, you sly fox. Three out of
those families have eligible sons.”

“Sons who’ve previously shown a great deal of interest in my becoming niece. Plus, the Wellses have twin sons named Joe and John, twenty-three. Look alike, but oh so different in character. Joe is quiet and serious, reputed to be a fine and respectable lad. But that John, he’s a rakehell who haunts the wrong side of town. About the only vice he doesn’t have is heavy drinking. If you asked me, I think he likes to keep a clear head at the gaming tables and around eager, marriage-minded females! The Gillises have two daughters, one a beauty and one hopelessly plain. I think that’s the reason they give so many parties for people with grown sons,” he mused aloud between chuckles before going on with his perceptions.

“Of course, the Howards have three daughters to rival them. Well-bred girls, but vain as pea hens. Nice looking enough, but no comparison to you or Helen. Poor Alice, it must be heartbreaking to stand in Helen’s shadow. You’d think that conceited girl was Helen of Troy the way she acts and dresses. She’s the prettiest young woman around when you’re not here. I doubt she’ll take kindly to your intrusion of her territory.”

They joined in gay laughter. “I’m not a competitor in that field, Uncle Henry. She is welcome to all of those eager swains. I’m looking for someone very special. And when I find him, I’ll battle any woman who stands in my path,” she mischievously vowed. “If the Gillises are trying to shove their daughters off on these lads, why would they invite a family with
three rivals?”

“It wouldn’t look proper to have all those males and only their daughters present. Besides, Robert and Tom are good friends. But if you come with me, Helen won’t be the center of attention as always. I’d love to see you pluck a few of her fine feathers. Might be good for her and the other girls.”

“Henry Cowling! You’re a spiteful rogue,” she stated amidst her giggles. Yet, what better way to take her mind off her troubles? Girls like this Helen seemed had always annoyed her. They were like Joshua Steele who thought he could take, use, and discard anyone he pleased.

In an uncommon state of needing to punish another person, she irrationally viewed Helen as Joshua’s stand-in. People like them deserved to be taken down a notch or two! Intrigued and feeling deliciously wicked, she agreed to the party. Slightly surprised, Henry glowed with happiness and excitement. “It’s tomorrow night. Can you be ready that soon?”

“Without a doubt, since you purchased that provocative emerald gown for me. I daresay this is what you had in mind for its debut. I shall be the perfect lady while I teach sweet Helen she isn’t the only woman alive.”

Elated with both ideas, Henry burst into hearty laughter and confessed his eagerness to see this feat. To his further astonishment, Alex relented to his prior suggestion to walk in the moonlight through his aromatic garden.

Leisurely sipping a glass of white wine, they
lingered in the light of the full moon while inhaling the intermingling of fresh air and heady flowers and enjoying a real conversation. It was like Alex had mysteriously received a heavy infusion of new life and zeal.

That night, Alex slept without awakening or dreaming. When slender fingers of sunlight played upon her face the next morning, she yawned and stretched, feeling calm and fresh for the first time in ages. Had she reached that inevitable and wonderful moment when the past was finally being laid to rest? To test herself, she envisioned Joshua. She was definitely making real progress. The pain and desire were still present, but they had lessened to a dull ache. Perhaps those twinges would always be there to remind her of her reckless adventure and to caution her against giving her heart and body so freely to any man who magically entered her life. At last, she could accept and deal with her past life with him. How deliriously wonderful this new-found peace was. A heady and dangerous sense of power filled her.

Henry couldn’t believe the complete about-face in her, but relished it. He cancelled his morning meeting when she invited him to go riding with her. They rode for hours, savoring the beauty of nature. As if displeased with her face, Mother Nature was boldly altering it. Leaves were threatening to burst into flashy oranges, reds, golds, and scarlets at any day now. When October came soon, Henry promised to take her on a tour of the nearby countryside when autumn was in its peak.