Love Notes (3 page)

This has not been a great start to the day so far. I feel like I’m just going through the motions. The only time I’ve felt normal or that I was noticed in any capacity, was when I showed my less than stellar walking skills.

I’m mentally slapping myself as I try to find my first class which happens to be history. A Mrs. Jenkins is my teacher. I spot a place in the far corner of the classroom to sit.
Get there as inconspicuously as possible, I think to myself.
I’ve already made myself look like a fool once and I'm not keen to continue on that track.

Now that I’m seated, I’m hoping the teacher won’t do that embarrassing thing they always do when they call you to the front of the room to talk about yourself. I hate that shit, and despise talking in front of people. I feel as if I’m being put on display. I see myself as a boring, uninteresting, and not a whole lot to look at.

The class is quickly filling up and in walks that guy. The one that put me in a state of shock, by calling me pretty. Is it possible for him to be even better looking than I first thought? He peers around the room and as he does, so do I. I realize the only seat available is right smack dab next to me. He starts walking over and damn, even his saunter is hot. I quickly turn away, not wanting to get caught staring at him. I decide to pretend that he’s not even there.

Yep, just pretend and everything will be fine. Remain cool. Yeah right, I am so the epitome of un-cool.

The moment he sits down, the teacher starts to speak.

“We have a new student, would you please come up and introduce yourself to the class?”

I feel my chest and neck start to get hot and I know exactly what that means.
Damn it, everyone will see it and know it too.
When I’m nervous, I get a reddish gross looking blotchy mess, that covers my entire chest and neck area. Not something easily missed, trust me.

When I get to the front of the class, I start telling them about myself. My name and where I moved from. That’s all I’m willing to share. I finish and quickly walk right back to my desk making sure to look at the ground and avoid all eye contact.

As I’m bee lining it to my seat, I see a couple of girls smirking. Not just smirking, but openly staring at me with contempt and cutting their eyes. I wonder what that’s all about, but then I think, what the hell do I care? I want to make friends, but definitely not that kind.

Mrs. Jenkins calls out the roll and I learn that this gorgeous boy’s name is Maverick. I can’t help but think what a cool and different name. In a strange way, something as simple as his name makes me feel good. Maybe because my name is uncommon too. I don't know what it is about this boy. No not boy–guy. I feel an attraction to him unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I quickly tamper down my feelings and chastise myself for having any at all. I’m not the girl that gets that kind of guy.

History is over before I know it. During the class, the only thing interesting I have learned so far is that his name is Maverick. Maverick, what a strong name and not one you ever hear, at least not since the Top Gun movie. I wonder if he has a story about his name, like me.

I get through my next couple of classes without a hitch and I don’t see Maverick in any of them.

The one class I’m looking forward to has finally arrived.

Choir happens to be the last class of the day, which at least it gives me something to look forward to. I walk in and see several different clusters of people spread throughout the room. As I’m looking around I catch the eye of a red headed girl who immediately smiles up at me. I take that as an invitation and walk over. As I’m planting myself in the seat next to her she immediately starts to introduce herself.

“So you’re new here, right? I mean I’ve never seen you here before. I guess I should introduce myself before I start spouting off at the mouth. I kind of tend to do that. My name’s Tori.”

I know immediately that I like her, and I can tell we could be friends. Her bubbly personality is infectious and she seems sincere–a rarity in my experience.

“My name's Charlie,” I say.

“Charlie, huh, I like it,” she responds.

I explain to her about my family's move and as I’m talking to Tori, I see Maverick walk in. Immediately I stop and my eyes drift to his. I’m not sure why I’m even looking at him. After all, I’m not model material like some of the other girls at this school.

I’ve seen several girls gazing at him in history class and I’m nothing to write home about in comparison. I don’t know why I react to him the way I do. And for that matter, why I think he might possibly even give me a chance or notice me. I mean, what am I thinking?

Tori spies me looking at him. “So, I see you’ve noticed our star football hero Maverick huh? You’re not the first to get all gooey eyed at him.”

“I’m not gooey eyed,” I snap back. I glance at Tori and see the hurt expression across her face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be so bitchy. Trust me I’m not. There’s just something about him.”

Tori replies, “No biggie,” and then says, “I’m really not sure why he’s here. He’s never been into choir before. You will love Mr. Hall though. He is very passionate about music and gets really excited!”

Mr. Hall walks in and stops to talk to Maverick. He directs him to a seat. As I glance over I notice he’s about to sit with those awful girls from my history class. They’re all smiling as he walks over to them. For whatever reason I can’t help but feel disappointed. One, because I was hoping to avoid those girls and second, he’s sitting with them.

While I deliberately try to ignore them, I do learn the names of the girls Maverick is sitting next to. Miranda and Ashley. Or should I say, tall, blonde and perfect. Not to mention neither of them have a boy’s name.

I spend most of the Choir listening to Mr. Hall as he describes what he would like to do this semester and the types of music he would encourage us to sing. While he’s talking I can’t help but catch his infectious attitude towards music. It’s clearly his calling, like he was meant to be a music teacher. I get so excited listening to someone who is as passionate about music as I am. I take it so seriously and I can tell Tori does as well. In the short time we’ve spoken, I can tell we are going to be good friends.

As class is about to end, along with the school day, I hear Mr. Hall tell Maverick he would like a word with him after class. As soon as those words are out of his mouth the bell rings. I slowly take my time getting my things together and I over hear Mr. Hall telling Maverick that he’ll have to participate and that he needs to take the class seriously. Mr. Hall tells him that there can be no goofing off and even though he needed an extra- curricular credit, he’s expected to do what everyone else is doing.

Hearing this makes my stomach drop. Choir is not a joke to me. It irritates me that Maverick might think he’s just going to skate by and take an easy class. Music is me, it's what I’m all about, it’s a huge part of me. I’m not even sure why I’m so upset. I don’t even know him and he doesn’t know me.

I do know I need to get over this. This feeling…. of him.

Silently, I scold myself. I don’t want anyone to judge me so why in the hell am I jumping the gun and judging him without even knowing? Maybe Maverick's a closet singer. Who knows? The thought brings a small smile to my face and I head off with Tori.

As Tori and I are walking out to the senior parking lot, she links her arm through mine and I’m completely taken by surprise. She says, “You and I, Charlie, are going to be great friends, I can tell already. My car's over here. Walk over with me real quick so I can put my stuff down and we can exchange numbers.” This girl has brass. I’m not used to someone being so outgoing and wanting to be my friend especially so freaking early on.

I am so taken by surprise that I miss what Tori’s saying. “Earth to Charlie, you listening?”

I look at her and shake my head trying to clear it. “Yes, I’m all ears. Sorry.”

Tori stops walking, cocks her head to the side and peers down at me. “You know if you wanted to talk about him you could right? No judgments. You’re not the first to notice him you know.”

I look at her and see nothing of what I’m expecting. I see someone who genuinely wants to know what I’m thinking and actually cares. Strangely, I know I can trust her and tell her anything. On my first day of school, I’ve found someone I can talk to. Or at least talk about these kinds of things to. While I know I can’t share myself completely, I throw caution to the wind and take a deep breath and start to tell her.

What’s the worst that could happen?

“Well I kind of ran into him this morning before school started.” She just looks at me, so I continue. “I mean literally walked into him. Oh and did I mention I fell on my ass?” I look at her, “You can laugh you know.”

“Well that’s a way to make an impression.” To her credit, she’s still not laughing.

I go on to tell her about the feeling I got when he helped me up and how we were in history class together. I tell her everything. Every last detail of how I’m feeling and how I’m not understanding these feelings at all.

“You know he was glancing at you throughout Choir class, right?”

I look at her as if she’s out of her mind and I start to feel slightly uncomfortable. I’m not used to this kind of girl talk. I’m used to superficial conversation and this conversation has taken too serious a turn for me.

As if sensing that I need the subject dropped, Tori says, “Look Charlie, it’s cool. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but just know that I’m here.”

I nod my head and pull my cell phone out of my bag and swap phones. Without warning, she grabs my shoulder and pulls me to her and snaps a picture of the two of us. I’m taken aback. I certainly wasn’t prepared for that and I can’t help but spurt out, “What in the hell?” All I get is a giggle in return and then the snap of a second picture. She looks at the pictures on the phone and says, “There’s some room for improvement but don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of opportunities for better pictures.”

Before I can say anything, Tori completely surprises me again when she asks, “Hey, do you have plans today? You could always follow me to my house and we could do homework together and hang out.”

As much as I’d love nothing more than to escape and not go home, I know I can’t. “I’m supposed to go straight home.” Tori smiles, “No biggie. Another time.” She has such an infectious way about her and she’s continually catching me off guard.

“I would like that Tori,” I sincerely tell her.

I wave bye and set off to my Jeep. There are more people milling around in the parking lot just talking. What I wouldn’t have given to be in the same school for all four years, to be friends with the same people and then graduate together. I see Lexie up ahead and spot a Camaro not far from my space covered with jocks and cheerleaders–typical.

I reach my Jeep, hop in and instantly feel a sense of peace. Funny how a piece of metal can make you feel so safe. It’s just an object, nothing special, but to me it represents so much more. Just as quickly as my feeling of calm comes, a sense of foreboding quickly follows. The thought of going home, makes me my stomach do flips flops, and not the good kind. I glance at the clock to see how long I can sit here without moving before I get into trouble, before it’s noticed that I’m late coming home from school. I lay my head back on the headrest and shut my eyes. I tell myself to be calm, mentally preparing myself for the onslaught that awaits me when I open the front door of my house.

My peace is interrupted again when I hear a knock on my window. It scares the shit out of me, making me jump and I can’t stop the not so lady-like shriek that leaves my mouth. I start to roll down the window as I shout, “What in the hell is your problem?”

Too bad I spout off at the mouth before I get a good look at who it is.

“Holy shit,” I mutter under my breath.

It’s Maverick.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Although the words are spoken sincerely, he has a twinkle in his eye that says otherwise. I think he may have enjoyed my being scared shitless a little too much.

“Crap, do you normally go around knocking on random girls windows?” I ask.

He cocks his head at me and starts to smile. “Um, only girls that have been sitting in their Jeep for a few minutes without moving. I wanted to make sure your car wasn’t dead and that you were okay.”

Instantly, I feel like crap. I bit his head off and here he is just trying to be nice. I can’t help my defense mechanism, but there are only so many places it’s appropriate to use it. I may need to work on that.

“I’m sorry. I was just catching a couple minutes of quiet before I go home. You didn’t need to check on me, see I’m fine.” I start up the Jeep signaling that this conversation is over.

“Okay, just wanted to make sure. By the way my name’s Maverick. We have a couple of classes together and I’m also the ass that wasn’t watching where I was going this morning and knocked you over. I’m sorry again about that, by the way.”

Seriously, does he not realize that I know he’s the one from this morning and that we share a couple of classes? Not to mention, what in the world is he doing apologizing to me? He’s definitely someone you can’t help but notice. He puts his hand through the window like he wants to shake hands. I comply and put my hand out for him. With a bit of a shaky breath, I try to tamper down, “I’m Charlie.”