Love or Duty (26 page)

His grip tightened and he took a deep breath. But as he grasped the
doorknob
a sound behind him caused him to whirl round.

‘You,’ he gasped. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I’m visiting my sister,’ Sarah said calmly.

‘Your sister?’

‘Didn’t recognize me, did you?’ Sarah gave a short laugh. ‘Don’t suppose it would have stopped you flirting even if you’d known.’ Her contemptuous gaze swept over him. ‘Anyway I should ask what you’re doing here. Come to view your handiwork?’

‘What do you mean?’ he asked, stammering. ‘Is Louise all right? She’s been quite ill, you know. I must go to her.’ He made to open the door but Sarah stepped in front of him.

‘You didn’t seem too concerned about your wife earlier on.’

‘It didn’t mean anything – just a bit of fun,’ he stammered.

‘Fun? While your wife was lying here ill?’

James recovered quickly. ‘I told you, it didn’t mean anything. What’s happened? Louise was all right when I left home this morning.’ He tried to push past her again but Sarah stood firm.

‘The doctor’s with her. He may be able to save her.’

‘What do you mean?’ The hysteria in his voice wasn’t feigned. Had Louise been saying anything? Panic began to set in and he almost regretted what he’d done. It was only because those thugs in Brighton were chasing him. Anyway, it was her fault. She’d tried to deceive him about the house. If she’d agreed to sell straight away this would never have happened.

Louise had still been a little confused when giving her statement but Muriel was adamant that Louise never drank spirits and Andrew assured the sergeant that she’d never been prescribed sleeping tablets. ‘My uncle will confirm that,’ he said.

The sergeant closed his notebook with a snap. ‘I think that’s all for now. I’ll come back tomorrow, Mrs Spencer. Meanwhile, I’d better have a chat with Mr Spencer.’ He turned to the constable. ‘You stay here in case he comes back.’

At the sound of voices in the hall, he opened the door. ‘Ah, Mr Spencer, we’d like a word with you.’

James made to push past. ‘I must see my wife,’ he said.

‘Not so fast. I’m going to take you in for questioning.’ The sergeant grasped his arm but James shook him off. ‘Constable,’ roared the sergeant.

James took one look at the burly policeman and tried to run. As he reached the front door, Sarah stuck her foot out and he tripped, sprawling down the front step. The two policemen were on him in a flash, handcuffing him and leading him away.

Louise looked up as Sarah came back into the room. ‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ she said, smiling through her tears. She glanced across to where Andrew was packing his medical bag. ‘I’m so lucky to have such friends and family.’

Andrew turned to her. ‘Well, I’m afraid this friend must leave. I promised Uncle George I’d take surgery this evening.’

‘I must go too,’ Muriel said. ‘Anyway, you need time with your sister. I’m sure you’ve got lots of catching up to do.’

‘My car’s outside,’ Andrew said. ‘I’ll give you a lift.’

When they’d gone, Louise started to cry. Sarah came and sat beside her. ‘It’s reaction,’ she said. ‘It’s probably only just beginning to sink in.’

Louise shook her head. How could she tell her sister she was crying over Andrew? Had he really held her in his arms, stroked her hair, called her his love? Or had she still been hallucinating? She’d leaned on him, accepted the comfort of his arms. And then he’d left, scarcely saying goodbye.

The sisters sat up long into the night filling in the years that had passed. Inevitably the talk turned to James and why he’d done what he did. ‘I don’t understand it,’ Louise said. ‘I would have agreed to sell the house if he’d given me a good reason. But I wasn’t going to be bullied into it.’

‘Perhaps he needed money,’ Sarah said.

As they talked, the sisters realized that, despite their estrangement, the love they’d always felt for each other had never died. There were no
recriminations
as they began to understand that neither of them was at fault. ‘It was easy to blame the war for your letters not reaching me. I just didn’t want to believe that you’d cut yourself off from your old life,’ Louise said at last with a sigh.

‘I did the same. I kept telling myself you were jealous of my success. Greg told me off. He said there must be a reason you hadn’t been in touch. And then, when I got that official-looking letter asking for my signature on those papers, I knew something was up. Greg persuaded me to come home and sort it out. It took ages to arrange.’

‘Why didn’t he come with you?’

‘I didn’t want him to – in case you refused to see me. I’d have been embarrassed.’ Sarah gave a nervous laugh. ‘That’s me – thinking of myself again.’

‘Don’t be silly.’ Louise sat up straight and changed the subject. ‘When am I going to meet the wonderful Greg?’

‘Soon. I’ve got to go back to London and sort things out. I might get away with breaking my contract on compassionate grounds – it’s not every day your brother-in-law is arrested for attempted murder.’

Louise bit her lip. ‘Will they find him guilty, do you think?’

‘Sure. That sergeant went though his desk and found some of my old letters still sealed, as well as yours to me – never posted. And what about that paper with our forged signatures all over it? He’d obviously been
practising
. I should think they’ve got enough evidence.’

‘And the pills,’ Louise said. ‘I mean, why would he put them in the aspirin bottle?’ She shuddered and her voice caught on a sob. ‘He must have been thinking about it ever since Mother died. I thought I’d thrown away all her old medicines but he must have hidden some away.’

Sarah put her arm round her. ‘It’s all over now, Lou. He can’t hurt you any more. You can start all over again now – make a new life for yourself.’

‘New life? Church, WVS, queuing for rations? The only difference is I won’t be on pins and needles any more wondering what mood he’ll be in when he comes home.’

‘Don’t think about it, Lou. Think of the future.’

Louise didn’t answer. She didn’t dare to think ahead. For those few moments when Andrew had held her in his arms she had dared to hope. But now…? Had she imagined the panic in his eyes as he struggled to revive her, his tender words as she responded?

When Sarah turned up, closely followed by the police, he’d once more become the efficient professional doctor caring for his patient. Did he love her after all? And if he did, what difference did it make? She was still a married woman despite what James had done. It would be a long painful process before she was free of him.

A week had gone by and Louise still hadn’t seen Andrew. Every time there was a knock on the door she started up, heart thumping. If she could see him, she was sure she’d know instinctively if she’d imagined those tender moments in his arms. But he hadn’t been near. She must have been mistaken. Why else would he stay away?

James was still in custody, charged with attempted murder, fraud and embezzlement. David Webster the solicitor had called to inform her of progress. ‘It seems your husband had been mixing with the wrong sort of people. He’d been gambling and couldn’t pay his debts.’

‘I knew he was worried but I thought it was the business,’ Louise said. ‘If only he’d confided in me – I would have helped him.’

‘I think he’d gone beyond that,’ Webster said sympathetically. ‘Just be thankful your friend and your sister turned up when they did.’

Louise cleared her throat. ‘I need to talk to you about something,’ she said. ‘It’s about James and me.’ She couldn’t go on, couldn’t utter the word divorce. It went against all her principles. But how could she stay married to the man who had tried to kill her?

David Webster smiled sympathetically. ‘I know what you mean. No rush. Make an appointment when you feel ready.’

Muriel had gone back to work at the WVS centre. There’d been another bombing raid on the town and she was needed. Louise wanted to go with her but Mrs Wilson had insisted that she recover completely from her ordeal before coming back.

Dr Tate called and told her she ought to be fit enough by the following week. She wanted to ask about Andrew but found herself unable to speak his name and the old doctor hadn’t mentioned him either.

She got up from the table and moved around the room restlessly. Her relief at discovering she wasn’t going crazy had abated somewhat and she knew she’d have to start living a normal life again soon. One thing was certain; she no longer wanted to stay here. Her childhood home now held more unhappy memories than pleasant ones. I suppose I could go anywhere, she thought. But she’d no idea where. Andrew dominated her thoughts.

Sarah had gone to London to see Greg and sort out her contract. They were hoping to go to Italy where British troops were making progress towards an end to the fighting. Everyone wanted to hear Sally Charles sing and Sarah was in her element entertaining the troops. She’d told Louise that it had been the most fulfilling time of her career and she couldn’t wait to get back to it. Perhaps I could go with her, she thought. No, it was a foolish thought. She belonged in Holton. It seemed she was destined to stay in her home town. At least here she might catch a glimpse of Andrew now and then. He’d called her a friend and that was better than nothing. She was still a married woman after all, and even if he did care for her, Andrew was far too honourable a man to do anything about it.

But I don’t want just friendship, she cried silently.

She stood up abruptly. She had to get out of the house. It was very windy and black clouds were massing to the west but she didn’t even think of putting on a coat or taking an umbrella.

She strode along the esplanade, the wind at her back whipping her hair over her face. There was no one about and she quickened her pace, relishing the solitude and the wild weather. Determined not to dwell on recent happenings, she recalled the walks with Sarah and her father. What fun they’d had picking up shells and stones and strangely shaped pieces of
driftwood
. In earlier days Louise had kept the prettiest pieces to arrange on her windowsill. They’d all been thrown away when Dora came on the scene. She didn’t like her home cluttered with bits of rubbish.

Louise would still enjoy beachcombing if it weren’t for the barbed wire barriers preventing access to the beach. Still, it was good to be out in the fresh air, striding along as she used to do, feeling fit for the first time in ages. And free. She hadn’t fully realized until now how restricted her life had been, chained first to Dora’s wants and needs, then to James and his controlling behaviour. How had she let this happen to her? Was she so weak that anyone could manipulate her?

She shook her wind-blown hair back from her face impatiently. Surely having a sense of duty, of what was the right thing to do, wasn’t weak, she thought. James had called her a doormat, but she didn’t think she was. Hadn’t she tried to stand up to him? She’d have succeeded too if it hadn’t been for the drugs.

Forget all that now, she told herself. Start living for today, not in the past. As she walked, she began to make plans. Hard as it would be to leave the family home, the house her great grandfather had built, she couldn’t let sentiment stand in the way of being sensible. Besides, the past few unhappy years had completely wiped out the memories of happier days and Steyne House wasn’t practical for someone living alone anyway. She smiled at the thought of James’s reaction when he heard she was selling after all.

The wind had grown stronger and she was about to turn back when a squall of rain pelted her with large cold drops. By the time she reached the nearest seafront shelter, she was soaked. Before the war the wooden shelters had been well maintained, repainted every year in time for the holiday makers. Now the paint was peeling and several of the glass panes were broken.

The wind whistled through the gaps and drops of rain trickled down Louise’s neck. Shivering, she huddled into a corner, hoping the rain wouldn’t last.

She didn’t hear the man approach and jumped when he spoke.

‘Andrew,’ she gasped.

‘I called out but you didn’t hear me.’ He took his coat off, draping it round her shoulders, and sat down beside her.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered, hardly daring to look at him. Could he hear the thunder of her heart? Did he realize she wasn’t just shivering from the cold?

When he put his arm round her she tried to pull away but he drew her closer. ‘Louise, I know this probably isn’t the right time, but you must know that I….’ He moved away from her. ‘I shouldn’t, you’re still married, but – I can’t go back to London without knowing….’

She looked up at him, tears trembling on her lashes. ‘Knowing what, Andrew? That I love you?’ She smiled. ‘Oh, Andrew, if you only knew how hard I’ve tried to hide it, to pretend to myself that I didn’t care.’

‘I could understand that after you married but – before?’

‘From the moment I first met you,’ she said. ‘But you went back to London and I didn’t hear from you. Your uncle said you had all the nurses after you.’ She gave a small laugh. ‘I didn’t think I could compete. And when you came back to Holton again, you were so cool towards me.’

‘Oh, yes – that church social.’ Andrew’s lips twisted in a bitter smile. ‘You seemed to be having such a good time and James was so possessive of you. Your stepmother told me you were about to become engaged. That’s why I backed off.’

‘I was only happy because you were there….’ Louise’s voice broke.

Andrew put his arms round her and she nestled against him. He sighed. ‘So much time wasted. If only I’d spoken before. But I was so afraid of
rejection
. I’d just been jilted you see and I was reluctant to risk being hurt again.’

‘Did you love her?’ Louise had to ask.

‘I thought so at the time. Later I realized it was for the best. She wasn’t the person I thought she was. Her father was a Harley Street consultant and she thought my ambition matched his. She didn’t relish the thought of being married to an impoverished doctor working the back streets of London. When I made it clear I wasn’t going to change my mind she….’ He shrugged and smiled down at her. ‘Seems like we’ve both made mistakes,’ he said.