Love Redeemed, Book 4 (21 page)

“You okay, Brimm?” Azmir ask
s in my ear over the pounding music, reminding me that Dawn has to be that close to communicate with him
. But why that much?
“You look a little tight.” He wears a look of concern.

I
won’t crack. I won’t be affected by Dawn. It doesn’t matter that she’s been around Azmir tonight far more than her business partner. I won’t complain to him. I won’t ask that she trade responsibilities with Shayna. And I won’t ask that he rescind their contract.
No!
Azmir is mine. He’s coming home with me tonight and that’s all that matters!

I force a s
eductive smile as my eyes dance in his. I lift my glass, “Of course I’m not okay. I’m out of
Mauve
, honeee,” I slur in drag, sounding like Adrian.

Slowly, Azmir crack
s that disarming panty-snatching smirk that gets me each time. Even through it, I can tell he’s trying to scale my mood. Azmir knows something’s off with me; you better believe I fight for a steely veneer.
Dawn will not win!
I hold onto my jovial mask. He doesn’t even turn his gaze as he raises his hand, calling the attention of a waiter.

“More
Mauve
or do you want something else?” he asks. Just then, in my peripheral, I catch Dawn grimacing at the back of Azmir’s head. I guess she wants his full attention. She looks angry that he isn’t available to her. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink so much brandy. It may put hair on your chest.”

Or have me put Dawn on her back!

“This is
Mauve’s
night. Bring it,” I challenge with a smile.

Azmir turn
s to the waiter dressed in all black to place the order. No sooner than the guy walks away Dawn stands and bends down to whisper to Azmir again.

When she’
s done, Azmir turns to me and says, “There are a few people I’m being asked to mingle with. Wanna come?”

I nod my head
and he advises, “Your drink is on its way. I won’t be too far. I’ll move slow,” before placing a warm kiss on my forehead.

“Okay,” I s
tand because I know the drink will be here in no time.

I watch Azmir
go down the steps towards the main floor. As soon as his foot hits the first step, Dawn shifts to me. Her eyes are agenda-filled, per usual. “You can sit here and relax. He’s going to be a while, working the room. I’d hate to bore you.”

In th
is moment, I have to make the decision of slapping the taste out of her mouth or remembering that Azmir will be returning home with me tonight. I search every inch of Dawn’s face for a reason to bash it in, right in the middle of Azmir’s celebratory party.
Just one reason!
The bitch gives none.

“I’ll hang out for just a little while. Be sure to make him a
ware of your suggestion,” I say, trying to mask the venom.

I c
an’t hear it, but I see the snort as she nods her head before turning for the steps herself. I stay in V.I.P. for what seems like an hour. At first, I’m able to follow them in sight, but that’s until they make their way outside of my view. I can’t just sit back and wait in my seat as though I have no interest in being here with him for such a monumental occasion. I have to do something.

So, I mak
e my way down to the main floor and thread through the crowd in search of six feet and four inches of sheer pleasure, to no avail. I attempt to circle the first floor. When that doesn’t work, I make my way to the second floor to circle there. I see Dawn almost immediately, but Azmir isn’t with her.

I d
on’t want to, but I head straight to her and ask, “Where’s the big guy?” I try to hide my disdain.

She h
olds up her index finger then starts typing into her phone. Seconds later she answers, “He’s on the third floor with Shayna, talking to Hill Harper. Maybe you can catch him there before he heads out of here and into the private rooms up there. That’s where the Moreau brothers are with their private guests.”

I nod before
making my way through the dancing patrons. I search the third floor twice, even knocked over someone’s drink. I grow frustrated as I look over the balcony and see no signs of him. When I turn to head to the stairs, I see Shayna—alone.

I
go to tap her arm and as soon as she registers my presence, her eyes enlarge. “Rayna! We’ve been looking all over for you. Mr. Jacobs is going crazy,” she visibly sighs.

“I’ve been walking all over this hall, looking for you guys. Dawn said you two were here, talking to Hill Harper. Where’s he?”
I ask, referring to Azmir, of course.

She wrinkle
s her eyebrows, “Hill left hours ago. The three of us split up to look for you.” If I wasn’t so tipsy, I could swear to seeing her roll her eyes.

Dawn lied. She was supposed to be searching for me and when she saw me, she lied to keep me on a wild chase.
My nails dig into the skin of my fists at my hips.

“I’ll find him. Thanks, Shay
na,” I say before walking off.

I
’m so damn upset that my head is throbbing. I need to breathe…a minute to think. I recall Dawn, in one of her many fallacies, mentioning private rooms on the third floor, so I head outside of the main hall. I pluck another tumbler off the tray of a passing waitress before heading out the door.

It d
oesn’t take me long to locate the long corridor with several doors on each side. I walk to the second one and crack the door to find it buzzing with people sloshed to the hilt. I catch a glimpse of Jacques, grinding a woman into the wall as she giggles in drunken bliss. Other patrons are dancing, conversing, and laughing without conscience. It’s the Moreau’s private party.

I close
the door and move a few rooms down, finding one unoccupied and slip inside. I don’t bother with the lights. I plant my back against the wall and scorn myself for being so damn weak. I’ve never been so affected since leaving Jersey.
I was formidable and unwavering.
Resolved. A force to be reckoned with. I recall the promise I made to myself on the train ride down to North Carolina.
I’d never love a man so freely.
Is that what I’ve done? My yielding of my heart has somehow weakened me. It’s caused me to doubt every move I make and each motive he exerts. Loving this man makes me crazy…insecure.

I t
ake a long gulp of the amber liquid, no longer feeling the shooting burn down my chest, into my belly. I’m numb, reminding me of my existence before Azmir entered my world.
He does things to me
…makes me open my eyes to things around me that I once avoided with my trained tunnel vision. There was little beauty before him. Damn it if he doesn’t make me
feel
.

But why? For what? Could I trust his efforts? His guidance?

I’
ve turned into a wimpy, whiney punk—on sensory overload since he’s entered my world. I don’t know what’s held his interest in me. I ponder this as I lift my left hand to observe the ring. His promise of
forever
.

My chest r
ises and I release a hefty breath, loosening my embattled spirit. I need to regain that determined and resolute essence that I used to survive since leaving home. In this moment, I’m confident that it’s just that—that draws Azmir to me.
Or is it?
It has to be. Azmir adds to me. He pours into me. He makes me feel so damn sexy. Superior. Extremely feminine. Powerful.

No more doubting, Rayna
. That’s been the game plan since waking up to this ring after learning about the paternity of Tara’s baby. We conquered that. Nothing else should matter.  

A
s my brain whirs, I hear the door open and a shriek of light enters the room as someone paces inside. It doesn’t take long for me to recognize Dawn’s thin frame and perfect bouncy curls, pulling out her phone.

“Shay?” she murmur
s. “Yeah…I’ve been looking all over. I’m outside right now…I just circled the building and I’ll do it once again before coming back inside. Tell Azmir that we’ll find her.” I can hear Shayna’s frantic voice on the other end of the call in the quieted room. I wonder if Shayna knows how much of a pathological a liar her partner is. It shouldn’t come as a surprise; Dawn’s eyes alone give her away. In a more conspiratorial tone, Dawn hisses, “I hope we’re not turning over this place looking for the girl, only to learn they got into a lover’s quarrel and she left. I have better ways to earn my money.”

That’s it! I can’t stand the bitch!

“Yeah…okay….okay,” Dawn forfeits in will, apparently in an attempt to placate Shayna. “Keep me posted and I’ll do the same.”

She end
s the call and lets out an audible exasperated breath.

The liquor
is beyond abundance in my belly and bloodstream at this point. My one hand is gripping the tumbler so hard it may crack in my palm at any moment, while my other is balled into a fist at my side. I’m battling the decision of walking over to Dawn and bashing her head into the wall or simply firing off a solid warning.

She’ already won this evening. I
caved. At her manipulative efforts, I got frustrated and let her keep Azmir away from me at his party, all evening—and I let her, all because I didn’t want to give her the pleasure of knowing how much she’s affected me.
Threatened us
. There’s no way I can harm her without drawing negative attention to Azmir’s well-deserved celebration. So, I decide to plead with her.

“Must be exhausting,” I mutter. Even I c
an hear the slur in my words.

Dawn jump
s and, on instinct, goes for the light switch. Ducking behind my hand, I grunt at the bright light against my sensitive pupils.

When she
recognizes me, standing with my back up against the wall—literally and figuratively—she sucks her teeth and snorts. Her frazzled stance recoils into a confident posture.

“Very grown up of you, Rayna, honey,”

I chuckle
as I roll my eyes. “Honey?” I ask rhetorically. Dawn tilts her head to the side, inviting me to continue. “See, that’s your problem, Dawn.” My tone is soft, misgiving. “You don’t respect what this woman has built.”

Her head straighten
s. “Built?” she sputters. “Sweetheart, you’re not experiencing the returns of your labor if you’re in here, hiding while he’s out there, hustling.” It’s now her turn to roll her eyes as she chuckles.

“He’s mine, Dawn,” I warn. “In spite of where your fantasy takes you with him, you’re missing a very important element.” She lower
s her chin as she squints, asking me to finish with my point. “His heart, Dawn. You may experience some of that CEO mien that is irresistible. That thug passion that he undoubtedly emanates. You may even speak to him several times a week—meet with him nearly as much, but you don’t share intimacy with that man.” I angle my head as I raise my eyebrows to emphasize, “My man.”

Dawn br
eaks out in the most gut-wrenching laughter. I watch as her throat rumbles in mirth while her head falls back. She’s either really in a laughing spell or extremely insane. After an extended period, she slows enough to inform, “I’ve explored every inch of his tasty mouth,” she plucks a brow. “Tasted like brandy. Funny, right?” She doesn’t give me a moment to answer before continuing, “If that isn’t intimacy, then I don’t know what is, honey.” Her head tilts, exuding arrogance.

I
t’s now my turn to belt out a hearty laugh. It’s silent compared to Dawn’s moments ago, but I’m sure far more gratifying. I can’t believe her incredulity, and revel in her ignorance. The liquid courage from six glasses of brandy helps, too. She gives me my moment just as I had hers, though I can tell she’s squirming to see how I’ll get out on the other side.

“Intimacy?” I
scoff. “From a kiss?” I abruptly raise my palm in the air defensively, “Granted, a kiss from Azmir Jacobs is nothing ordinary. Azmir’s mouth is like cotton candy mixed with mint; sweet…and fresh.” Breaking my reverie, I glance over to read her expression. She’s rigid, yet I’m nowhere near done. “But dear, having him only in your mouth…via a kiss, no less, isn’t even half the journey.”

I push from the wall,
sexily strut over to Dawn, successfully masking my incredibly imbibed state and stand directly in front of her. “You haven’t even been
smashed
by A.D. That…,” I chuckle sensually. “…is life altering. And do you know what it’s like to have
him
in your mouth?” I exhale deeply, involuntarily retreating to the memory of it. Once my mind takes flight with memoirs of Azmir, I can’t be responsible. “The fullness of his heavy appendage, coursing your mouth until it reaches down your throat? The weight of him, pushing in and pulling out against your needy tongue? How the ridges from his throbbing cock rub against the corners of your mouth, stretching it to near pain from trying to fit him all in. How your belly fills from him emptying his
soul
inside you?” I cock my head to the side. “Huhn?”

Becoming antsy and
agitated, Dawn pivots a 90 degree angle and, like partners executing the perfect cha-cha slide, I swivel along with her. She’s now facing the door, debating her next move to leave. But I’m not done.
Nope!
Not by a long shot. I have a point to prove.