Love Redone in Hidden Harbor (Island County Book 2) (11 page)

“What the hell are you talking about?” A knot appeared in my shoulder, which I quickly tried to squeeze out with no luck. “I waited and waited for you to come pick me up. The plan had been for us to go back to Fireweed together where we would both work at our summer jobs. So you left me waiting for hours before finally rolling up to tell me you’re headed to Georgia without me. You mentioned you wanted me to visit and you left.”

“That’s not what happened at all.” Cole’s gaze hardened.

“Don’t try to twist my memories, Cole. I was there. That’s exactly what happened.”

“The only part of your story that’s accurate is that I was late.”

I shot out of my chair and pointed at the door. “That’s enough, Cole. I’ve tried hard enough to create a life I’m happy about, even taking care of a cat I’m allergic to. I don’t need you to come back to town and ruin me.”

Cole stayed seated on the couch, which only angered me more. I didn’t want to have to call Paul, the local sheriff, but I would as humiliating as it might be.

“Let me tell you my version of the story. Hear me out for just two minutes, and my promise to you is that I’ll walk out that door and never bother you again. But I don’t want you thinking I ever stopped loving you.”

His words matched his email, and it felt like every molecule of oxygen got sucked out of the room. My tiny house suddenly felt like it was a houseboat as I navigated back to my chair and plopped down.

“What you didn’t know about my life was that my childhood was a nightmare. You were the only light that shined through the darkness.”

My eyes flashed to his. He had the perfect parents, brother, everything. The Hills were one of the wealthiest families on the island. Only recently did his parents make the island house their second home. The Hills had what most people strove for.

“I don’t think I understand.”

Cole sucked on his lip and dropped his gaze. “My father physically abused us.”

“Us?” I asked, swallowing my shock.

“My brother and me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered.

“I was scared he’d hurt you too. He always threatened us. I mean, his best friend was the sheriff. How well would that go over? There’s no way he’d have believed us, and my father used that to his advantage. We lived in fear morning, noon, and night. But when I was with you that all went away.”

A shiver ran through my body, and I forced away the tears.

“Did he ever stop?”

Cole took in a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair, not connecting his gaze with mine. He didn’t answer my question.

“The reason I was late to pick you up that day was because I’d been talking to my brother about going back to the house for the summer. I knew you had your heart set on it, but I was afraid of what I might do.”

I wanted to comfort Cole, but I knew it wasn’t my place. That kind of relationship had been gone for far too long.

“I left home a kid, but I was coming back a man, Natty. I knew if he even tried to lay a hand on me, I’d kill him.”

I gasped, and Cole’s eyes locked on mine, filling with sadness I would never understand.

“Did he ever touch your mom?” I barely even heard my question.

Cole shook his head. “She says no, but we’ll never know. I used to be mad at her for not protecting us, but what was she going to do? Get thrown around like we did or worse?”

“Cole, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

“You wouldn’t. I never told anyone.”

“I’m just so sorry.” I held myself and watched him carefully, afraid of what he might say next.

“Don’t be. Life hasn’t been as kind to him as people think. Not to mention, all you have to do is listen to my brother’s songs.”

“Seriously?”

He smiled. “You haven’t heard any of his music?”

I shook my head.

“Well, when you do…” his voice trailed off.

“I wish I’d known.”

“I always tell myself that things work out the way they’re supposed to.”

“Do you believe it?” I asked.

“Jury’s still out.”

“Do you want more coffee?”

“No. I should get going soon, but I still need to correct your memory.”

A twitch touched Cole’s lips, and it took everything not to run over and climb on his lap. I missed him.

“So, my decision to not go back to Fireweed tormented me because I knew you’d been planning on it all year and since I hadn’t told you about anything I’d been dealing with at home, I couldn’t just tell you.”

I wiped a tear that had rolled down my cheek.

“When I told you I changed schools and wouldn’t be coming home to Fireweed for the summer, your expression was the saddest I’d ever seen. It killed me and I wanted nothing more than to change my plans again. But apparently this is where things get murky. I told you I would be transferring to Georgia, and I wanted you to come. You told me you couldn’t leave Nick and your friends.”

“I never said
Nick
and my friends.”

“Yeah. You did.”

I sat quietly and tried to remember back to that moment in time, but all I could think about was the pain Cole had hidden for all those years.

“I wanted you to visit Georgia so you’d consider moving there with me. I’d even ordered the brochure for your program so you could apply and transfer, but we never got that far. I wanted you to come with me. But I realized you might have feelings for Nick.”

“I’ve never been interested in Nick,” I whispered. “I was in love with you. It’s always been you.”

Cole’s eyes fell to the ground, and he sucked the remaining oxygen in the room.

“When I saw you with Nick, I knew my hunch was right until I spoke with Sophie last night. I wish we could turn back time,” Cole said, standing up.

Another line from his email and my chest tightened. I didn’t want him to leave, but he had to.

“I wish it were that easy.” I stood up, barely able to feel my legs.

 “When I found out from Sophie you thought I’d broken up with you, I knew I needed to at least set the record straight. I want you to know I never intended to break up with you. In fact, I thought you broke up with me. I thought you chose Nick and your friends over us. I guess we were both wrong.” He walked over to the door, and my heart pounded in my chest. There was so much I wanted to tell him, but it wasn’t my place and it wasn’t the time. He had a fiancée he needed to deal with. I needed to let him go.

He reached for the door handle, and my knees nearly gave out.

“One more thing. Listen to track four on my brother’s album, and you’ll know how I felt about you.”

“How so?” I asked.

“I wrote it for you.” His gaze dropped to my lips, and I noticed his jaw tense as he bit his lip. “Two years ago.”

“I will,” my voice was hoarse as I leaned against the entry table. “Thank you, Cole. Maybe you’re right about different versions of the truth. I guess things are always relative.”

“An expensive lesson to learn.” He nodded and walked onto the porch. “I doubt I’ll be coming back to the island anytime soon. But I wanted you to know if it hadn’t been for you, I never would have survived this place.”

I watched him walk away for the second time in my life, and this time it hurt far worse than the first.

 

I stared at the email Cole had sent the week before. He’d attached a picture of us at our homecoming dance senior year. It was a sweet picture, and I never would have guessed what kind of secrets Cole had kept hidden. I read the message one last time before closing down my laptop.

This is a completely inappropriate email, and I own every single word of it, but seeing you today made me wish we could turn back time. There’s a part of me that never stopped loving you, but I respect you enough to never act on it. We both have our own lives and I recognize that. I only wish we could have been in each other’s. I look forward to dinner.

His words rattled around in my brain and did nothing but make me crazy. Pickles sat next to me on the counter, which was unusual. Truthfully, I think she actually enjoyed seeing me in pain and didn’t want to miss out since it happened so rarely.

I hadn’t heard from Cole since he left my house and I hadn’t expected to. I knew he had a lot of things to deal with. I’d been hiding out from my friends because I really didn’t feel like talking. I wanted to purely wallow in my misery without interruption. I hadn’t done any good wallowing for years, and it actually felt cathartic.

Regardless of what did or didn’t happen that day in question at college, we’d both misunderstood and those decisions changed the course of our lives forever.

I hadn’t been brave enough to look up or listen to the song Cole told me he wrote for me. There was a part of me that wanted to hear it and another that was scared to because, no matter what I heard, the lyrics wouldn’t change where our actions led us.

He was busy managing his brother’s band, not to mention however many other clients he had, and as rocky as it might be, he had a relationship. Since we’d both become experts at guarding our hearts, Cynthia would be the simplest option for him. He knows what he’s getting into, and he’d never have to risk his heart again because I doubted she ever had it.

The shop door chimed, and I looked up to see Sophie, Nick, and Tori trundling through the door.

“So…you’ve turned into such a diva, you make your friends come searching for you?” Sophie teased.

“It’s not like you had to look hard to find me.” I smiled and slid off the counter.

“What’s up with Pickles? Why’s she sitting next to you?” Nick asked.

“I think she likes to see this side of me.”

“And which side is that, my dear friend?” Sophie asked, walking behind the espresso bar.

“The very confused and miserable side,” I chuckled, only it didn’t seem very funny since it was kind of true.

Sophie began pulling some espresso drinks for us all, and I let out a deep breath, feeling the tension slowly start to lift now that my friends had arrived.

“So did you ever talk to Cole before he left town?” Tori asked, sitting at a table near the Valentine’s Day window display. The sparkling red hearts kept catching the light and blinding me.

“No.” I dropped my gaze to the table as Sophie slid a latte in front of me. I hated lying to my friends, but I didn’t feel like analyzing much of anything at the moment.

Cole had a life far away from Fireweed, and I had a life rooted deeply in the place I loved. Sophie came over with the rest of the drinks and then walked over to the open sign and turned it off.

“I don’t understand why you’d ignore us?” Sophie questioned. “Cole comes to town and leaves town and then you go into hiding?”

I studied her expression and realized she hadn’t mentioned hand-delivering me to Cole, and for that, I was grateful.

“I think I’m about over the hump. It was just a little more stressful than I realized, and I’m beyond grateful I’m not doing their flowers.”

“So do you think they’re still getting married?” Tori asked, taking a sip of her tea.

“I don’t know,” I replied, and I really had no idea. “But if they do tie the knot, I don’t think it will be here.”

“I still can’t believe she tried to hit on one of our poor high school kids,” Nick laughed. “But I’ll say I never had that kind of luck when I was working for my fun money in school.”

“You mean while you were bussing tables at Norma’s?” I giggled. “Norma herself didn’t give you the once over?”

“Well, maybe.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and brought me in for a squeeze.

For the first time ever, I realized there might be something behind Nick’s embrace I’d either ignored over the years or never stopped to think about or was I imagining it? I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and everything seemed as it always had.

I was probably just being overly sensitive because of what Cole had implied.

“Want to go bowling tonight?” Tori asked. “We’re meeting Mason’s brother, Ayden, and his wife, Lily. I think Brandy and Aaron will be there too.”

“That sounds fun, doesn’t it, Natty?” Sophie asked, her eyes filling with excitement. Very rarely did Sophie get Friday nights off and tonight was one of them. I couldn’t let her down just because I wanted to mope around the house.

“Sounds good to me.”

“And I think Brandy mentioned she wanted to get your opinion on wedding flowers,” Tori informed me.

“That will be fun.” I glanced at Nick as he unwrapped himself from me. “Are you coming?”

“Not sure yet.” He shrugged and glanced at Sophie and Tori like some sort of secret code transpired, which made me feel uneasy.

My suspicions only grew once Sophie and Tori popped up with their drinks in hand.

“I’ll pick you up around seven,” Sophie said. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and followed Tori out the door, leaving Nick sitting next to me at the table.

Never in a million years would this be weird. We’d been alone thousands of times and now something felt off. Was it only because of the seed Cole had planted? I stretched my arms up and groaned.

“This has been a long week,” I sighed.

“Let me help,” Nick said, standing up and moving behind me.