Love Redone in Hidden Harbor (Island County Book 2) (20 page)

Was
that
referring to Cynthia?

“How long do you think you’ll be staying on the island?”

“Not sure. Depends on how a few things go.”

I nodded, afraid to ask what those things were.

“If I go back to LA, I’d need to find a place, and I’m not in the mood.”

I tried to anticipate what he’d say next.

“Do you like being back on the island?”

“I do, surprisingly. When I left, I never looked back.”

It was like a stab to the gut.

I’d looked back every single day over the last eight years.

“Or so I thought.” His voice softened, and he glanced toward the fireplace. “Are you cold?”

“No. I’m fine.”

He ran his hands along his legs, and my eyes followed along until his voice interrupted my not-so-innocent thoughts.

“I’m not doing a good job at explaining much of anything, am I?”

“Not really.”

He let out a groan and sat back, running his hands on his jeans again.

“I deal with high profile clients for a living, and I come back to my hometown and a girl I—” He stops, and his eyes steady on mine. “A
woman
who makes it so I can’t even get a complete thought out to save my life and I’m at a complete loss.”

It was hard to believe I was the woman he was talking about. I wanted to see if Cynthia walked into the room but thought better of it.

“I’m lost,” he sighed, licking his lips slowly as he attempted to formulate what to say next, while I sat imagining what it would be like to kiss those lips again. Maybe it would be worth it to be his rebound. That was a thing, right? It might be a good exercise to add to the rest of them I had going on in my life. I could fit him in between the breathing exercises and yoga. Or maybe I could bring some of my yoga moves into the sex with him, and then I could prove to myself that I was actually over him when all was said and done and he left Fireweed.

Or it could reignite every single feeling I’d fought to extinguish for the last eight years.

His voice tore me from the endless loop of speculation.

“I’m disoriented, and I’m loving every second of it. For the first time in my adult life, I’m completely at the mercy of an emotion I can’t control.” He stood up and walked along the empty shelves, running his hand along the wood, and a rush of memories ran through me. Cole turned around and focused his attention on me.

“You’re blushing.” His lip curled slightly as he noticed where his arm rested. “So you remember.”

“Pretty hard to forget.”

“We always did fit really well together,” he murmured.

“Especially there,” I said, giggling.

He growled and shook his head in disbelief.

“I’m a grown man, Natty. I’ve—”

“The same could be said about me…well, not the man part. I mean woman. I’m a grown woman. A lot has changed in eight years.”

His eyes followed along my body and he nodded.

“So what are you saying?” I asked. “Why did you invite me here?”

“I don’t know.”

“So we’ve established that we’re two grown people who have absolutely no idea what we’re doing in this world.” I nodded.

“Sounds like we’re in college again.” Cole’s smile was out of this world.

It made me wish I had that inner vixen quality I read about in stories. The one where I would shoot up from the couch and rush over to him, undressing him before wrapping my legs around his waist, while he tears my clothes off and makes my entire world spin out of control.

“I can never tell what you’re thinking,” Cole said, his eyes studying me.

“Probably for the best,” I assured him.

“This is nice.” He walked over to my couch and sat down.

“What part?”

“Just talking. Being with you.”

I wanted to tell him I thought so too. I wanted to tell him I’d prayed for this day for far too long. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him, but most of all I wanted to pretend he never got engaged. I wanted to pretend that I hadn’t thought about this moment for eight years, and I wanted to pretend I hadn’t missed him.

“It’s nice.”

“When I was twenty-two I thought I knew everything.” Cole scooted closer. “And everything was either black and white. There was no gray area.”

“Life is one giant gray area,” I laughed nervously.

“Where lots of Nicks seem to hang out.”

“And lost letters.”

“And family secrets,” he whispered, bringing my hands into his. “I’ve missed this, Natty. I’ve missed you.”

“Me too.”

He pulled me closer, his hands gently cupping my face as he brought his lips down to mine, and in that moment, I might have forgotten how to breathe.

 

Tasting Cole brought every emotion flooding back through me. His lips were softer than I remembered, his kisses more deliberate and controlled. With every stroke of his tongue, my mind swirled into a dizzying array of longing.

His fingers tangled through my hair, and my breath caught as I thought about how far I would let this go.

He pulled me on his lap with his free arm, and I sank into him. Everything about him was hard and defined. His chest, stomach, and arms all offered a temporary refuge from thinking, and I needed that. All I wanted was to feel, not think. He was no longer a twenty-two year old and I wasn’t either. I could control my feelings, but with each sweep of his tongue, I realized he was capable of doing more to me than I’d ever allowed before. Feeling his arousal made me second-guess my sanity. Could I do this? Why was I letting him kiss me?

Because I’d dreamt of this moment for eight long years.

I moaned as his kisses deepened and a pool of warmth swelled between my thighs.

Cole slowly broke his mouth from mine and rested his forehead against mine.

“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

And just like that every magical moment of what we’d shared seconds before shattered into a million little pieces. My chest ached and my arms fell to my sides. I’d done it again to myself.

I slid off his lap and pushed down the lump of humiliation growing in my throat as I cornered myself on the couch.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered.

“Why are you sorry?” Cole asked, standing up.

“You said yourself you’re lost and disoriented. I didn’t mean to take advantage—”

A smile spread onto Cole’s delicious lips. “You think you took advantage of me?”

“I kissed you back.”

“Yes. Yes, you did.” He slowly licked his lips and watched my reaction.

I gave none, which made his smile widen.

“So what possessed you to take advantage of me?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

I curled my legs next to me and tried to shake the feelings of want that threatened to take over every ounce of common sense I had.

“You’re hard to resist and you smell good.” I kept my eyes on him.

“You do realize I kissed you first,” he said, slowly walking over to me.

“But I didn’t have to kiss you back. I led you on.”

“That’s how you see it?”

I nodded, shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

“I see.” His chest heaved slightly as his breathing changed. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I’d love for it to happen again.”

He looked so damn sexy standing in front of me. My eyes flicked down his body before I glanced out the window.

“What was that?” he almost growled.

“What was what?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“That look.” He took a step forward, his arms still folded against his chest, as his gaze intensified.

“It’s me taking advantage of you. I’ll be able to work with what you gave me for a long time.” I stood up, partly in disbelief I said that and partly thrilled that my inner vixen was trying to come out and play. “I’ve got a wonderfully active imagination, and I should be able to take it from here. Thanks for the invite.”

He shook his head, unable to hide the longing running through his gaze as I stood smiling in front of him. Giving him another once over, I walked out of the room and felt his eyes on me the entire time.

By the time I got to the foyer, I nearly tripped out the door. Being that close to Cole was like a drug for me. The sensations pumping through my system made it almost impossible to start the engine and pull out of the driveway.

But I did it. I used every single ounce of my willpower and started the ignition. I saw Cole standing in the doorway as I pulled away. He was smiling and I knew I was lucky to have left when I did.

I drove along the road that led into town and passed by Tori’s house. Mason was working outside, and I gave a quick wave as Tori came outside with two mugs. I wondered if I should call Sophie and fill her in or wait until I hear from her after Cole no doubt filled her in.

Traitor.

I smiled, thinking about Sophie’s observations. Maybe I’d been going about things the wrong way after all. Rather than focus on what I didn’t have, I should have been focusing on what I did have, which was a lot of wonderful moments, my first date, my first kiss, my first everything.

And my first heartbreak.

I pulled into my driveway and sat in my car for a few minutes, letting the memories wash over me. Maybe a bowling lesson wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I slid out my phone and quickly sent Cole an email.

On second thought, maybe a bowling lesson is in order.

I tossed my phone in my purse and wandered inside the comfort of my little home. I’d spent so much time getting rid of Valentine’s Day décor at the shop and moving in all the Easter props, I’d barely spent much time at home, and I liked my home. It was my center of gravity.

Pushing the door open, I took a deep breath in and switched on all the lights. The clouds hung low today so not much natural light made its way inside. I dumped my purse in the foyer and floated to the living room, sinking into my couch.

I never in a million years thought this morning I would kiss Cole. Or that Cole would kiss me. Or that I’d be wishing my body was still pressed against his.

What I’d remembered all these years was laughable compared to what I’d just experienced near Oyster Bay. The heat in his gaze and the way his lips felt against mine. He was all male. I knew what he wanted. I felt what he wanted. There was such a difference between college Cole and thirty-year old Cole.

I groaned and slapped myself with a pillow as I sprawled out on the couch and felt like I was sixteen again.

I had to check myself. This wasn’t that big of a deal.

It was a kiss.

Simple as that.

I heard the muffled sound of my cell and wondered if I had the energy to get up and answer it. Was it the kiss that wore me out or my withdrawal symptoms?

I shoved myself off the couch and went over to my bag, digging my cell out. It was Sophie.

“Well?” she asked.

“Well what?” I asked.

“You know what. I want details.”

“Sounds like you already have some.”

“I’m on my lunch break, limited time. Come on. Tell me everything.”

“Would you put your best-friend hat back on and tell me everything he said first?”

“Who said I talked to him?” Her voice wavered on the word him, which I mimicked and she groaned.

“He said you said you could use a bowling lesson after all.”

“That’s it? That’s all he said went on?”

“No.”

“Well, spill. I’m dying to hear his version of the events.”

“So there were events. Cole said you came onto him and he didn’t know how to handle it. He had to ask you to leave.”

“He did not say that.”

Sophie laughed. “No, he didn’t say that.”

“Why are you torturing me?”

“Because he told me he experienced a moment of perfection he didn’t think possible.”

“What? What does he mean?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t tell me anything else. Do you know what he’s talking about?”

“We kissed.”

“And?”

“I asked him for a bowling lesson.”

“Why do I feel like you’re keeping so much from me?”

“Probably because I can’t even put into words what I’m feeling right now.”

Sophie was quiet for a few seconds, and I could tell she was pondering whether she should have pushed this.

“Only because he proved to me that I was still a living, breathing human being.”

Sophie laughed. “So when is your lesson?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard back.”

“Well, let me know when you guys go out. Okay, it looks like my lunch is about over, and I still need to wolf down my peanut butter sandwich.”

“Enjoy.”

“You know there are very few things that I enjoy more than my crunchy peanut butter.”

“Which is exactly why we need to work on your dating life next.”

Sophie hung up laughing and I strolled into my kitchen. I wasn’t exactly starving, but I got a sudden urge to bake cookies. Something told me Anthony and Cole could both use something homemade. While I did see the sink, stove, and fridge, I didn’t see any evidence of anyone actually using it.

I walked over to my pantry closet and grabbed the oatmeal, cranberries, brown sugar, and white sugar off the shelf and worked my way over to the counter, dumping everything off. I grabbed the butter and eggs out of the fridge and began working my magic.