Love, Rosie (234 page)

medical
forms.
No
one
mentioned
anything
about
D
and
E.
I
didn’t
know

you
needed
so
much
proof
to
show
you
were
dead,
I
thought
the
fact
you’ve

stopped
living
and
breathing
was
a
huge
giveaway.
Apparently
not.

348

Cecelia
Ahern

I
suppose
it’s
like
going
away
to
live
in
another
country.
Dad
just
had
to

get
his
papers
ready,
get
dressed
in
his
Sunday
best,
arrange
his
mode
of

transport,
and
off
he
went
to
his
final
destination,
wherever
that
may
be.
Oh,

how
much
Mum
would
have
loved
to
have
gone
on
this
particular
trip
with

him,
but
she
knows
she
can’t.

She
just
kept
repeating
to
everyone
at
the
funeral,
“He
just
didn’t
wake

up,
I
called
him
and
called
him,
but
he
wouldn’t
wake
up.”
She
hasn’t

stopped
shaking
since
it’s
happened
and
she
looks
like
she’s
aged
twenty

years.
Although
she
looks
older,
she
seems
younger.
Like
a
lost
little
child

who
looks
around
her
and
doesn’t
know
where
to
go,
like
suddenly
she’s
in
a

whole
new
place
and
she
doesn’t
know
the
way.

I
suppose
she
is.
I
suppose
we
all
are.

I’ve
never
been
here
before.
I’m
thirty-six
years
old
and
I’ve
never
lost

anyone
close
to
me.
I’ve
been
to
ten
funerals
in
my
life
and
they
were
of
dis-

tant
relatives,
friends
of
friends
and
family
of
friends
whom
my
life
is
none

the
worse
off
without.

But
Dad
going?
God,
that’s
a
big
one.

He
was
only
sixty-six
years
old.
Not
old
at
all.
And
he
was
healthy.

What
causes
a
healthy
sixty-six-year-old
man
to
fall
asleep
and
never
wake

up?
I
can
only
comfort
myself
with
thoughts
that
he
saw
something
so
beau-

tiful
that
he
just
had
to
go.
That’s
the
kind
of
thing
Dad
would
do.

There’s
something
completely
unnerving
about
seeing
your
parents

upset.
I
suppose
it’s
because
they’re
supposed
to
be
the
strong
ones,
but

that’s
not
just
it.
Ever
since
people
are
kids
they
use
their
parents
as
some

sort
of
measurement
for
how
bad
a
situation
is.
When
you
fall
on
the
ground

really
hard
and
you
can’t
figure
out
whether
it
hurts
or
not
you
look
to
your

parents.
If
they
look
worried
and
rush
toward
you,
you
cry.
If
they
laugh
and

smack
the
ground
saying
“Bold
ground,”
then
you
pick
yourself
up
and
get

on
with
it.

When
you
find
out
you’re
pregnant
and
feel
numb
of
all
emotions
you

look
at
their
expressions.
When
both
your
mum
and
dad
hug
you
and
tell