Love Scars (7 page)

The best way to avoid that pain was to stay away from her altogether.

I didn’t know where she was, but the bedroom door was open and I could hear Lisa and Frank chattering in the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you guys don’t have an espresso machine,” Frank said. “I’m bringing mine when I come to babysit.”

“Come here, you.” Lisa laughed, and they both were suddenly quiet. My mom always says you can tell a happy house by how it sounds in the morning.

“You’re awake.” Nora came out of the bathroom, still wearing her piranha pajamas. They cracked me up. She sat at the end of the bed and crossed her legs, and her hair fell over her shoulders.

“Good morning,” I said. So polite. So friendly-like. I wanted to grab her and throw her under me. I wanted to devour those lips and finish what we started last night. I wanted to be inside her so bad I felt like I was going to explode.

“Thank you for staying last night.” She seemed so cheerful, as if it nothing had happened.

“Not a problem.” Thank God I had the blanket for cover. I sat up to adjust my extremely uncomfortable position and propped one pillow behind me and put one over my lap. “You seem to be feeling better.” 

“You were great,” she said. If she was aware of my discomfort, she didn’t let on. “Really. You have the magic touch.”

“Right,” I said. It would be easier to think about getting away from her if she wasn’t so close. She was great. “I’ll need some magic for Brad later, I suppose.”

“Poor Brad.” She sighed. “Lisa loves Frank. If she had any sense, she’d love Brad. But she doesn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t get me wrong. Frank’s a sweetie pie. He’d die for Lisa. But he’s the only real boyfriend she’s ever had, and she doesn’t realize…”

“What?”

“She doesn’t realize how smart and creative she is. How much more she could be with the right guy. She’s going to be happy. She’ll never doubt her choice. Her life with Frank will be like having a fresh bouquet of roses every day. On the other hand, her life with Brad would be like living in the Butchart Gardens.”

“Maybe you’re projecting,” I said. “You’re afraid you’ll settle for a bouquet when you really want a garden.”

“I have a garden.”

What did she mean? That she was complete? She didn’t need anyone? She didn’t need me? I should have felt relieved, but I wasn’t happy about it.

She stared at me, her brows knit together in a frown. I had no clue what she was thinking, but she sure looked cute thinking it. “So what does J.D. stand for?” she said. “Juris Doctor? Just Desserts?”

“I’ll never tell,” I said. “To know a person’s name is to have ultimate power over him.”

“Ah, like Rumpelstiltskin.” Her eyes lit up. “I’ll have to guess.”

I’m not religious or mystical, but I appreciate the trope in fantasy novels—and in the bible, if people bothered to read it—about the power of naming. I’d never admit it, but I don’t give out my real name because I’m superstitious.

“You never will,” I said. “I’ll even give you a clue. The clue is my last name.”

Shit.
Why did I say that? She didn’t know my last name, and now I was going to just give it to her?

“Your last name. Okay. What is it?”

“Reider.”
Dammit, dammit, fuck.

“J.D. Reider. Rider...rider…J.” A smile spread over her face.

“No. Fucking. Way.”

“Your first name is Jaxom,” she said. “It’s obvious.”

“To you and my mother.”

“But the second name is harder. Dragon? Dracoris? Draco?” It could be anything dragonish.”

“It’s Draco.” I surrendered. “But you’ve got to believe I wasn’t named for Draco Malfoy.”

“Of course not,” she said. “You were born long before Harry Potter was written.”

She was an enchantress. How did she do that?

“Jaxom, the dragonrider.” Her eyes gleamed in triumph.

“What can I say? My mother loves the Anne McCaffrey books,” I said. “She’s an artist, and she never does anything the normal way if she can help it. Do you like me better now?”

Down, J.D. Do. Not. Flirt.

“I like your mother better,” she said. “I don’t like you any less.” She looked at my clothes on the floor. “So where’s your cell phone? I’ll put my number in it, and you can call me sometime.”

What the what?
“Uh, I don’t have a cell phone.”

She raised an eyebrow like I’d announced I was from another planet. Then her face turned red. “Oh.”

I didn’t know why not having a phone should be embarrassing—until I realized she thought I couldn’t afford one. Good. Let her think so. It was easier than explaining I hate being on the grid. If Mom or Scarlett ever needed to get hold of me, they called Brad. If I’m ever kidnapped, the assholes will send a ransom note.

Nora frowned at something on the floor and bent over to pick it up. One of my sandals. “Are you and Brad in the Mephisto club?” she said.

“Brad likes good shoes,” he said. “He bought them.”

“Seriously.” She said. “He buys your clothes.”

“They were a birthday present.” I laughed. “We’ve been buds since grade school.” I was telling her too much. Letting her in, deeper and deeper. It had to stop.

“Like me and Lisa.” Nora dropped the sandal. She got up from the bed and went to the door. “Frank’s still here. He and Lisa are making breakfast. There’s a fresh towel in my bathroom. You can take a shower if you want. And there’s coffee in the kitchen.”

Then she was gone. I felt empty inside. I didn’t like it.

I got dressed without the shower. I was going to have to ride home in yesterday’s clothes, so I’d take one later. I had no intention of staying for breakfast. The sooner I got away from Nora Deven, the better.

I headed out of the bedroom, thinking about where my bike and helmet might be, when I heard arguing down the hall. At the bathroom door, I heard Lisa’s voice. She sounded upset.

“I don’t trust him,” she said.

“You don’t know him,” Nora answered. “It sounds too good to be true, sure. But what do we know about the secret lives of corporations? Look at those McMansions in Wexford and real mansions in Los Lagos. Money is different for people who have it. I think Steve’s company must have paid for the internships.”

They were talking about Steve Heron. I’d put aside the reason I was here in the first place, and now it just fell into my lap.
Jeez
, poor Brad. Bad enough he couldn’t get credit for his secret good deed setting up the internships, and now credit was going to MolyMo.

“You deserve a vacation,” Lisa said. “You
need
a vacation. But there’s no way you can relax at…at
that place
.”

“We need the money.”

“We don’t need it that bad,” Lisa said.

I walked on down the hall, my head ringing with what I’d just heard. Brad’s suspicions were right on. MolyMo was trying to move in on Barton. I could guess what happened. Barton must have honored his agreement with BlueMagick and refused to let another company on the dig, and now MolyMo wanted to make Nora their unwitting spy.

That shit pissed me off. Brad spent over a year getting to know Dr. Barton, gaining his trust, arranging for funding, and now MolyMo thought they’d swoop in and skim off BlueMagick’s work.

“Morning, J.D.” Frank was in the kitchen, taking a batch of cinnamon rolls out of the oven. “There’s coffee in the pot, but fair warning. It’s bad.”

“I’ll pass.”

“I’m bringing my espresso machine over on Wednesday for Stacey’s birthday party. One makes sacrifices, but a man needs a latte in the morning. I’ll be staying here while Nora’s gone for her internship.”

“So I hear,” I said.

With a redesign, this kitchen and great room area could be fantastic. It bordered the back of the house with windows running along the entire wall looking out on the deck and the backyard.

“Ah, my bike.” The Pashley was leaning against a built-in bookcase on the far wall. “My helmet too. Thanks.” In the bookcase there was a complete set of
Dragonriders of Pern
. First editions. Very cool.

“Sure thing,” Frank said. “That’s a nice piece of equipment you’ve got there. I didn’t know they sold them in the states.”

“Really?” I hate lying. Even about small stuff to people I’ll never see again. Bad karma. “I bought it from a guy on Craig’s list. He didn’t say where he got it.” Time to change the subject. “So I guess this is a real party house.”

“Last night was an aberration,” Frank said. “As you saw, Nora can’t take crowds. Wednesday’s just a few people over for the kid’s eighteenth.”

“Brad says Stacey is great.”

“Brad, huh.” Frank finished a cinnamon roll. “He’s one of Stacey’s favorites, ever since he showed her where the Easter eggs were on a couple of her videogames.”

“Sounds like Brad.” I detected a sliver of resentment in Frank’s tone, but he had no cause for jealousy. Lisa had made her choice. Frank won. He should be gracious about it. Like Brad.

My best friend was wrong. The best man didn’t win. Nora agreed with me, I realized. But Lisa’s opinion was the only one that counted. I hoisted the bike over my shoulder and opened the back door.

“Taking off then?” Frank said.

“Yeah, gotta go,” I said. “Things to do. Tell Nora and Lisa I said bye.”

It was shitty of me, as Nora might say, to run off without saying goodbye. Yeah, there was some self-loathing at the pit of my stomach. It was better this way, I told myself.

All the way down the driveway, I fantasized Nora running out of the house onto the front lawn to ask me to stay just a little longer. Long past the last of the lilacs, and even half a mile on, I heard her voice saying my name on the morning breeze.

Chapter 10

“You’re wrong,” I said. “We do need the money that bad.”

I’d followed Lisa into her bathroom in the hall. With Frank and J.D. both in the house, it was my best chance to get her alone for a few minutes to explain why I was taking Dr. Barton’s internship. After last night, I had to tell her about Steve’s offer. It was the only way to make her understand.

“It’s too dangerous, Nora,” she said.

“Yesterday you were all for it,” I said. “You practically shoved the dig packet on me when we found out the internship was paid.”

“That was before either of us knew where it was,” Lisa said. She squeezed toothpaste on her toothbrush. “You can’t stir all that up again. And three weeks? After last night, do you honestly think you’d last up there three hours?”

“Last night was an anomaly,” I said. “I wasn’t prepared.” 

“Nor, I'm scared for you. I can’t stand to see you open these old scars.” She stuck the toothbrush in her mouth. “Snau wuh it. Nau eve foe sih thou dau.”

I caught her eye in the mirror and dropped my voice behind her, “How about $150,000?”

“Wuh?” She swung around, her eyes huge.

I grabbed her arm and put my finger to my lips, warning her to be quiet. When Steve said to keep it secret, he said it was a corporate thing. I rationalized that I could tell my roommate, but he surely meant not to tell anyone who worked for a big company. Someone like Brad—or even a low-level new-hire at BlueMagick like J.D. who was in the house right that minute.

“The guy’s company will pay off my student loans.”

I left out the part about the bonus. I didn’t really believe that myself.

Lisa rinsed her mouth out and spit like she didn’t believe any of it. “He must want you to do something illegal.”

“That’s what I thought, but he swears no. He’s going to explain the whole thing to me this Wednesday before I give my final answer.”

I still didn’t know where we were meeting. Steve was supposed to text me and let me know, but I hadn’t heard from him yet.

“But
Foresthill
, Nor.” Lisa looked at me like she was pleading. “I feel terrible about last night. I never should have pushed you into having a party. You’ve been so strong the last couple of years. I guess I thought you had a handle on…things.”

“I want to do this. I
have
to get out from under these loans. Did you know Stacey got 2310 on her SAT?”

“Shit. No,” Lisa said. “I guess that private high school paid off.”

“She didn’t tell me either. I was putting laundry away in her room a few months ago, and her score was lying on her dresser. She could go to college anywhere, but she’s settling for Sierra for her first two years to save money. It makes me sick.”

“What’s wrong with community college?” Lisa said. “You and I went to Sierra our first two years. It was fine.”

“We didn’t want to be doctors. We didn’t have 2300 on our SATs.”

I didn’t mention that I had 2270. My parents were always big on school. My brother Danny had carried on the tradition with his daughter Stacey, and then I pushed her after he was gone.

“Stacey didn’t even apply anywhere else,” I said.

“She probably knew you’d take on more debt to help her pay for it.” Lisa said. “I don’t understand you. You paid your way. She should too.”

“No,” I said. Lisa was right. Why shouldn’t Stacey load up with student debt like everyone else in our generation? If she did become a doctor, she could pay them back. But dammit to hell! I hated the idea. Were we put on this earth to be wage slaves for the banks?

Lisa put away her toothbrush, and I saw her frown in the mirror.

“What?” I said. It was the face she wore when she had an opinion she knew I wasn’t going to like. “Say it.”

She turned around and faced me. “You could sell this house.”

“No.”

“I know it has sentimental value,” she said. “I understand that, Nor, better than anybody.”

“No.” I turned to go, but she grabbed my arm.

“Even with the real estate crash, you could still get seven or eight hundred thousand for it. You could pay off your loans and buy a smaller place, free and clear.” She spoke gently, and it was all common sense advice. But each word drove a dagger into my heart.

I barely squeaked out a “no” as I opened the door and headed down the hall back to my bedroom.

How could I sell Grandma’s house? My mom grew up here. There was Mom’s wisteria by the kitchen window and Indian Rock. Danny named that rock. As long as we had this house, Stacey and I still had some part of our family. I could never sell it. I’d rather face Foresthill.