Love Song Series Box Set (28 page)

Shane snaps me out of my inner thoughts. “I’ll pick you up at seven on Friday night?”

My eyes focus back on his face, and I give him a quick nod yes.

Suddenly, I wish I was still living with Jase and Julie. I was glad to get my own place, because I felt awkward living with them. They spent too long apart, and they needed to be a family, just them. It would be nice to not be alone when Shane picks me up, though.

Shane leans down and gives me a soft kiss on my cheek. “I can see that you’re scared out of your mind.” I shake my head, trying to deny that he’s right. “Bethany, babe, your fear is written all of your face, but there’s no reason to be afraid. I won’t push you. I just want to spend some time with you, so don’t be afraid. Let’s just take this slow and see where it goes.”

“Slow?” I whisper out.

He nods, a sexy smile spreading across his face. “As slow as you want, but if you ever decide to speed things up, just let me know.”

I let out a nervous breath. “I’m good with slow. Really slow.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I figured you would be.”

He grabs my hand and pulls me back outside toward the party. “We’ll start by finishing our dance. Is that slow enough for you?”

I smile and nod my head. The vice around my heart releases slightly, and for the first time since, well forever, I feel hope that things may be getting better.

He walks me toward the spot where everyone is dancing and wraps his arms around my waist. I place my hands on his shoulders and feel the tension begin to drain from my body. I can do this. I smile to myself as I lean my body into his and lay my head on his shoulder. After a bit, I start to feel like a thief in the night, stealing a moment that isn’t really meant for me. I know I don’t deserve this; I don’t deserve to be part of Shane’s life, or anyone else’s for that matter.

As we sway back and forth to a slow beat rolling from the speakers, I see Julie and Jase dancing only a few feet from us. Naturally, they are staring at each other like the sun rises and sets in the other’s eyes. Their love is so easy to see. It literally radiates from them.

I continue sweeping my gaze around the dance floor and see Mack and Angie dancing together. The way they look at each other isn’t as heated as the way Jase and Julie do, but the love is still apparent. It’s weathered love, but still just as strong and all consuming. Moving my eyes to the left of them, I see Matty and Kristen, standing near the picnic tables and talking to each other. Even though they do their best to hide it, the love they feel for each other shines through.

So much love surrounds me, yet I feel a pang of discontent that I’m an outsider here. These people are family. No matter what Jase and Julie say, I’m not; at least, not really. My family is full of monsters. The darkest parts of me tell me Julie is only keeping me around because of pity. I know that isn’t really true, but sometimes it’s hard to convince myself otherwise.

A short sigh escapes my lips as I pull my head from Shane’s shoulder and look up at him, trying to find the possibility of love somewhere in their depths... It’s there, but it’s nothing like the other couples I had been watching. It feels like it would be the kind of love from one friend to another instead of something that inspires passion and ignites lust. Feeling a tad defeated, I slowly close my eyes and place my head back on his shoulder. Friends. Maybe that’s how it always starts?

As soon as the dance is over, Shane leads me back to the spot I’d been standing earlier. “You want me to grab you a drink?”

I look around the party and notice people are starting to head home. “No, thank you. I really think I should be heading home.”

“You sure you can’t stick around a little longer?” he asks hopefully.

I smile at him. “No, I really need to go. I’ve got plans tomorrow, and I need to get some sleep.”

He grabs my hand and gives it a short squeeze. “I can give you a ride if you need one.”

My heart starts to pound at the thought of being in the car alone with him. “That’s nice of you, but I have my car. I don’t want to leave it.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s the reason.” He smiles down to me. “You just don’t want to be alone with me.”

“Maybe I am nervous, but I’ll get over it,” I reassure him.

He smiles again, but he doesn’t say anything else as we walk to my car in silence. Finally, when we make it to the driver’s side door, Shane leans down and places a soft kiss on my cheek. It’s nice, but again, there is no spark. “Okay, Bethany, you head on home. I’ll see you next weekend. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I say then climb into my car, willing my heart to stop racing as a feeling of hope flutters alive in my stomach.

I drive away with a smile on my face.

Chapter Three

Before I get the chance to knock, Jenny throws the door open and wraps her arms around me. “I’m so excited. I’ve never been to a real circus before, only the little ones at school.”

We’ve been planning this trip for weeks. It’s the only thing I could think of to keep Jenny from begging to go with Julie and Jase on their honeymoon. If she’d asked, Julie would’ve said no, but Jase would’ve said yes. Then, the real fireworks would have begun.

I smile at her and run my hand over her head. “I’m excited too. I haven’t been to one since I was about your age.”

“Do you think I’ll get to ride an elephant?”

“No, honey, but you will get to see a few.” I lower my hand to her shoulder and give it a little squeeze. “If we’re gonna get there before it starts, we’ve gotta hurry.

She nods as she steps back and grabs my hand. “I’m ready, but we have to wait for Uncle Bran. He was a sleepy head this morning.”

“What?” I mutter as I follow her further into the house.

No way! He cannot be planning on going with us to the circus after how he acted yesterday. I know I’ll have to be around him from time to time, but I don’t want to start today. This trip was supposed to be something special, just for me and Jenny. If he comes, it will be ruined. 

“Uncle Bran is going with us because Aunt Angie says he needs to spend quality time with me.” She finishes in a voice that sounds almost identical to Angie’s.

“He does,” Angie says, walking into the kitchen from the hallway. “He has never spent any time with her, and they need to get to know each other. It’ll be easier on Jenny if you’re with them, she already feels comfortable with you.”

I start to shake my head, but she stops me. “No, it’s settled. I already paid for the tickets, so someone has to go with y’all. Kristen and I can’t go because we have to clean the church. Mack has some things to do at the shop, so that just leaves Brandon.”

“How about Shane or Matty? They’d love to come with us,” I say, trying to come up with anyone to take Brandon’s place. “I’m sure Brandon has things to do today.”

“Nothing more important than spending some time with my favorite niece,” Brandon says as he walks into the room carrying Jamie.

Jenny lets go of my hand and rushes to him. Throwing her arms around his waist, she smiles up at him. “I’m your only niece, Uncle Bran.”

“Yeah, you are. That’s why you’re my favorite,” he says with a wink.

As they continue to banter, my eyes follow his body from top to bottom. He’s wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and no shirt. Little Jamie is nestled against his chest, chewing on his fist. Something about seeing him holding a baby makes my chest tingle. I swear it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. A vision of him holding our child flashes through my mind.

Oh my God! What is wrong with me? I shake away my ridiculous thoughts and paste on a fake smile. “We’ve got to be there by one, so we need to be leaving soon.”

He lifts his chin to me then passes Jamie to Angie. “I’ve just got to finish getting dressed.”

With those words, he walks out of the room. I keep my eyes on him, until he gets lost in the shadows of the hallway, and then turn my head to see Angie smiling at me. “I see another wedding in our future.”

I step back and shake my head frantically. “You are a crazy woman.”

She lets out a girlish giggle as she leaves the room with Jamie. Just before stepping into the hallway, she looks over her shoulder. “I may be crazy, but I’m usually right.”

Twenty minutes later, we are on I24 headed to Nashville. We haven’t really talked, but Jenny has done enough talking for both of us. I can tell by the way her voice is fading that she’s about to fall asleep. It never fails; put her in a car and she’s out. I hear her mumble something about lion’s jumping through a ring of fire, but then the car goes silent.

I hear Brandon chuckle, and I look toward him. “What’s so funny?”

“She’s just like her mom. Julie used to talk a mile a minute, every time we got in the car, and then she would just pass out. Guess they talk themselves to sleep.”

I laugh but don’t respond. Instead, I turn to look out the window. I just don’t know what to say to him. What does someone say to a person that thinks they’re trash? It’s not like I can defend myself because I know he’s right. I am trash. I should’ve told Julie about Dean before she started dating him, especially before they got married, but I didn’t know how. I was so embarrassed, so ashamed.

“I’m sorry about the wedding.”

I jerk my eyes back to him; sure I didn’t hear him right. “What?”

“I shouldn’t have said that shit to you. Julie cares about you. That’s all that matters. You deserved to be there as much as I did.”

I shake my head. “No, you were right. My brother hurt her, and I could’ve prevented it.”

“Yeah and how could you’ve done that?”

Shrugging, I mumble out an answer, “I should have told her what he was like.”

“Never know. She might’ve married him anyway. Jules is hard headed. If she loved the dickhead, she would’ve gone with her heart and ignored anything that was said about him.”

“But, she didn’t love him.”

“No, but she thought she did. If not, she wouldn’t have married him.”

He’s wrong. Julie never loved Dean, never even thought she did. I didn’t know that, until I saw her with Jase. She loves Jase in a way that shines through, letting everyone see. He’s also wrong about me telling her about Dean. If I had just told her everything from the beginning, Julie would’ve walked away from him. No, that’s not true; she would’ve run. 

“Maybe, but I doubt it.”

Brandon shrugs. “Guess we’ll never know. Enough about that shit. No offense, but talking about your brother leaves a bad taste in mouth. Why don’t you tell me about you?”

Talking about me is one thing I never do. “There’s not much to tell. I’ll be thirty in a few weeks. I’m a teacher. That’s about it.”

He looks toward me then back to the road. “Yeah, Julie told me you taught school. What grade do you teach?”

“I teach Special Needs, so my students range from Kindergarten to fifth grade.”

“That must be hard.”

I shake my head, and a ghost of a smile crosses my face. “Not really. It’s actually fun. I love my students, every single one of them. They can be a handful, but they make me laugh every day. What more can a person want, but a job that keeps a smile on your face?”

“Yeah, that would be great. I loved being in the military, but there wasn’t a lot to smile about these last couple of years.”

I know that’s true; he’s been through a lot. Not only was he seriously injured in the accident, but he was the only survivor. I can only guess getting hurt isn’t what put the shadows in his eyes. By reading Julie’s letters, I know Brandon was a born protector. Watching his friends die after the accident had to nearly kill him.

I watch the emotions play across his face before replying. “What do you plan to do, now that you’re home?”

He shrugs again, never taking his eyes off the road. “I guess I’m gonna work for Uncle Mack. I started working with him when I was just a kid. I never really liked doing the body work, but I love painting. When someone wants a specialty paint job, I definitely smile.”

Mack owns an auto body shop in town. He and Pop are partners of a sort, supplying each other with customers. He does the body work, and Pop keeps the engines running. “That’s good. Mack’s a great guy. He’d be a blast to work for.”

He chuckles before replying. “Yeah, Mack’s the best uncle ever, but he can be an ass to work for. He wants everything done his way, no exceptions.”

“I can see that about him. He definitely likes control.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize that Brandon is just like him. “There’s no doubt, you’re his son.”

He looks at me; a puzzled expression crosses his face. “I’m his nephew.”

I shake my head and give him a small smile. “No, you’re his son. Maybe you were born his nephew, but you’re his son now, and it shows.”

He looks back to the road and chuckles. “Yeah, I guess that’s true. I can be an asshole sometimes too.”

“I don’t think you’re an ass. You’re a man that loves his sister. That’s a wonderful thing,” I say in a whisper.

“That I do.”

The car goes quiet again and stays that way until we pull up to our parking spot near Music Row. As soon as he cuts the engine, he turns toward me. “Guess it’s time to wake up sleeping beauty.”

I shoot him a shy smile and turn to look in the back seat. Of course, hearing the car shut off, Jenny is wide awake. “You ready to have some fun?”

Ten minutes later, we’re walking into Bridgestone Arena hand in hand. Jenny’s between us, linking Brandon and I. As soon as she sees the concession stands, she starts bouncing up and down. “I want some cotton candy.”

“Alright, sweetie,” I say, squeezing her hand. “We’ll get you some then find our seats.”

The words barely leave my mouth before I hear someone calling my name. “Bethany Daniels, is that really you?”

I jerk my head toward the voice and a knot instantly forms in my stomach. “Sherri, what are you doing here?”

She rushes toward me and pulls me into a hug. “My husband was transferred to a firm here last year. What are you doing in Nashville?”

I step away from her and paste on a fake smile. “I live around here now.”

“Oh my God! Is that what Dean was doing down here, when he got arrested?”

As soon as Jenny hears my brother’s name, her body starts to shake. She’s dealt with everything that happened better than I expected, but she is still fighting her fear every day.

I squat down, getting eye level with Jenny. I pull some money out of my pocket and hand it to her. “Go on and get your cotton candy. Okay, sweetie?”

She slowly nods and starts to walk toward the concession stand. I watch until she gets in line then turn back to Sherri. “I don’t really like to talk about Dean, especially not in front of Jenny. He’s gone now, and that’s all that matters.”

She looks toward Jenny then back to me. “Isn’t that his daughter?”

“No, she’s not,” Brandon says, stepping up to my side. “She’s nothing to that stupid motherfucker.”

Crap! How did I forget about him being here? “Uhmm... Brandon, this is Sherri. She was…”

Sherri finishes for me. “I was almost her sister-in-law, but thank God, Bethany warned me before I said I do.”

His body tenses beside mine, and he growls out, “You warned her, but you didn’t warn Julie?”

“I tried,” I whisper, not sure how to explain. I never really warned Sherri. Of course, I told her all the same things I told Julie, but she did believe me. She finally learned the truth when she walked in during one of Dean’s attacks.

“You didn’t try hard enough,” he says in a voice filled with anger. “All you had to do was open your fucking mouth, and my sister wouldn’t have married that bastard.”

“You don’t understand. He hurt …” Sherri starts but stops when Brandon walks away.

She begins to apologize, but I shake my head. “It’s okay. I deserve it.”

“No, you don’t deserve it!” Sherri says, pulling me in for a hug. “That asshole that just walked away needs one serious slap in the face,” she says sounding angry, and I suddenly remember why I had liked her so much when she was dating Dean.

I shake my head again. “I should’ve warned Julie, should have told her the truth the moment she met him.”

I swear, the day Julie and Dean met was one of the worst days of my life. I knew, I just knew he was going to use them to hurt me. I was sitting in the dorm room Kristen and I shared when she came bouncing in with a smile on her face.

“Bethany, there’s some guy downstairs wanting to see you. He is hot as hell. You’ve been holding out on us!” Kristen says as she walks into our dorm room.

“A guy? Did he tell you his name?” I wasn’t expecting any company, and what few guy friends I have already know to give me a heads up before they come over. I hate being surprised.

“Dean,” she says over her shoulder as she makes her way to her bed, ungracefully plopping down and plastering a ridiculously huge smile on her face.

As soon as I hear his name roll off of her lips, my heart stops, and then starts again, only to leave me feeling like it’s going to jump out of my chest.

“Dean? Are you sure?” I ask while silently praying that this isn’t happening.

“Yeah, girl! He’s so cute! Is he the reason you don’t date anyone here? Was he your boyfriend back home or something?” she asks, not knowing how much pain her question causes me.

I shake my head. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my brother.”

She cocks her head to the side as her smile grows wider. “I know, babe. He said he was your brother. I was just giving you a hard time.” She lets out a hearty laugh, but I don’t join in with her.

“Did he tell you what he wanted?”

“No. He just said he needed to talk to you,” she says as her laughter dies down. “But, I don’t think he’s in any hurry to see you.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s talking to Julie, and by the way he was looking at her, I could tell he wanted to do a lot more than talk,” she says, attempting to wiggle her thin eyebrows and failing.