Love Will (22 page)

The lines cascaded

as if drawn with a brush

the fluidity of them sustained

until perishing in a hush

Feel away; steal away from me my fear

Done away; run away with me, my dear

The silence was a kiss

a breath consuming mine

words vanished in the ether

my vision in decline

Feel away; steal away from me my fear

Done away; run away with me, my dear

Two seconds free from her, a gasp of bracing wind

her smile played a song for me, from the beginning to the end

wrong of me to think she’d taken from me the best

saw what I was missing and she gave to me the rest

Feel away; steal away from me my fear

Done away; run away with me, my dear

Inspiration at hand

closer than she’s ever been

ideas I never had before

she feeds me from deep within

Feel away; steal away from me my fear

Done away; run away with me, my dear

Feel away; steal away from me my fear

Done away; run away with me, my dear

I point out the part I need help with.

“Yes, Will, I can recognize a bridge,” he says sarcastically. “Where’s the first song you wrote for her?”

“What?” I ask.

“This is a song about writing a song for her. So where’s the other one?”

I grin. “I’m not done with it yet.”

“That’s not what it sounds like.”

“It’s not perfect yet. Can you just help me with this?” I ask him, kicking his foot from the bed opposite his.

“I just wonder how many times Damon’s going to mess up and sing ‘a gasp of
breaking
wind’ instead of ‘a gasp of
bracing
wind.’ I think we need to change that adjective before he sees that and gets it stuck in his head.”

I start laughing, having not thought of that. “Fuck. You’re right.” I think for a second. “How about:
Two seconds free from her, gasp the reviving wind
?”

“Perfect.” I grab the page from him and make the change. “I like this, Will. It’s really good. Let me hear what you’ve got so far.”

Three hours later, we have the song finished–just in time for the other guys to hear it. Tavo grabs his sticks and practice pad to keep rhythm for us while Damon follows along with me. Ben stands in the doorway, arms crossed, grinning the whole time.

“We’re recording that on the bus the next stop after we get it cleaned up. Or maybe we’ll do it live! We’ll get some more CDs and do another EP to sell at some shows. It’s great. Who did this? Did you do this?” Ben asks me.

“Peron helped me with the bridge and fine tuned some of the melodies.”

“Will wrote it, yes,” Peron says.

“You’re on a roll. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”

“I’ll try.”

“You’re in for dinner with us tonight, right?” Damon asks.

“What time?”

“Nine.”

I shake my head.

“That wasn’t really a question,” Damon says. “Sorry. You’re coming to dinner with us tonight at nine.”

“Damon, it’s our last night here.”

“Thank God for that. We need to get back to cohesion.”

“Can’t
cohesion
start tomorrow?”

“No, it starts tonight.”

“I have plans,” I admit to him.

“Break them.”

“With a woman.”

“She can wait. Booty calls happen later anyway, Will,” he says flippantly.

“It’s not like that.”

“Sure thing,” he says, blowing me off.

“While we’re on the subject,” Tavo says, “can you share the love?”

I raise an eyebrow at him, hoping he’ll explain what he means. He just nods with a disgustingly goofy look on his face. “No.”

“That wasn’t really a question,” our drummer says, using Damon’s line.

“That doesn’t work for you, man. When have I ever been known to
share
a woman anyway?”

“Do any of your girls in town have friends? That’s all he’s suggesting,” Damon says. I find it surprising that they think I’ve been messing around with multiple women over the past few days, but of course they would. It’s all I’ve ever done.

“For the record, I’ve only been talking to one woman, and we’ve been alone for the majority of our time together, so I don’t know if she has friends. I’m not asking, either.”

“There’s Scarlett,” Peron says. “She’s single.”

“Scarlett…” Damon says. “Love that name.”

“You know more about her than I do, but I’d never offer up a friend of hers like that. I’m not a pimp. I want this girl to know I respect her.”

Tavo laughs.

“Scarlett is one of Shea’s employee’s,” Peron explains to the rest of them. I shoot him a death stare at the mention of her name.

“Shea? Oh, look at Will’s face…” Ben says, taunting me as my cheeks burn hot.

“Shea’s the restaurant owner, huh?” Damon asks.

“Yeah,” I answer tersely. “And I promised her I’d see her tonight.”

“You can go after we eat, man. We’re saving you from obligatory conversations and shit,” Tavo says.

But I
want
that time to talk to her. When else will I get this time again?

All through dinner, I have trouble focusing on anything going on around me, and every time I check my watch, I get a piece of a dinner roll thrown at me. At ten-thirty, I toss some cash on the table and make my exit. “I’ll see you assholes in the morning.”

“Bus leaves at seven on the dot,” Ben says.

“I’ll be on it.”

The OPEN sign is dim, but the lights are still on at Mrs. Livingston’s Kitchen. Shea’s sitting at the counter with her back to the door. I knock on it quietly, ready to beg for forgiveness. I know she expected me when the restaurant closed at nine.

She slips off of the stool and walks toward the door wearing a knee-length skirt with leggings underneath it and a matching long-sleeved shirt. The sides of her hair are pulled back into a clip, exposing her ears. I’d never noticed that they stick out a little bit. When her hair is down, I don’t notice, but now, I can see this detail. It actually makes her appear more distinctive; different, in a cute way. It’s a whole other look; another facet to her that I’m immediately attracted to.

“I love your hair like that,” I tell her, cupping my hands over her ears and kissing her as soon as she lets me in. I close my fingers gently around her lobes, letting the tips of them hang loosely to her small, dangling earrings. “You look adorable tonight.”

“You’re late,” she says.

“The guys made me have dinner with them. If we’re gonna pursue something, it might make sense for us to exchange numbers before I leave tomorrow.”

“Maybe,” she agrees playfully.

“Your ears are cold.” I kiss her cheeks, working my way back to her ears and kissing each one multiple times in an attempt to warm them up.

“Let’s move away from the windows,” she suggests in a whisper, linking her pinky with mine and leading me to the counter in the back. “Have you had dessert?”

“I thought that’s why I was here…” She glares at me. “I deserve that. No, I haven’t.”

“I made a cake.”

“I like cake,” I tell her. “What kind?”

“Chocolate with strawberry icing. You better like it because it’s my specialty.” She walks into the kitchen.

“It sounds amazing.” I look down at the counter and read a page of the book that’s open at the spot where Shea had been sitting, then flip through a few pages until I see some familiar scribbles. “Holy shit!”

“What?” she yells from the other room.

“My book. You’ve got my brother’s book here.” I return it to its open page and jog into the kitchen to find her. “I thought someone had taken it, and my brother wants it to stay in the family, so thank you so much.” I remove the knife from her hand and kiss her again. “You just saved my ass.”

“I told you that you shouldn’t donate it. I wasn’t going to let you leave it there. It’s a great book, too.”

“Wait, so you’re actually
reading
it?”

“Of course. I wanted to know what your favorite book was all about. And the notes you guys have added… you guys are brilliant. Which ones are yours? Wait, red ink, right?”

I look at her, stunned. “Red ink, yeah,” I answer her softly.

“I knew it,” she says with a smile.

“How’d you know?”

“The thoughts just sounded like you, that’s all. Some of them are so witty… and some, so profound that I just sit and think on them for minutes at a time. Just obviously
Will
. Make sure you take it with you tomorrow.”

“Keep it,” I encourage her.

“Your brother wants it in the family.”

“Shea, I’ll get it back next time I see you. I want you to finish it, if you’d like to.”

“I definitely want to. You really think we’ll see each other again?”

“I thought that was the plan,” I tell her, confused. “I don’t want any other lovers, Shea. The thought of being with someone else is… weird to me, all of a sudden.”

“How do I get the upgrade?” she asks, picking up the knife again and cutting into the circular cake that’s topped with chocolate-covered strawberries.

“What’s the upgrade from lover?”

“I don’t know… maybe girlfriend? Maybe it’s too soon to even be talking about this,” she says, shaking her head. “But you brought up exclusivity, sort of, so…”

“It’s okay,” I say. “But isn’t girlfriend a downgrade? I thought lover would be an upgrade.”

She stares at me like I’m nuts. “No. Girlfriend means there’s a commitment. Lover just means you’re casually fucking.”

“No,” I argue, picking up a strawberry from the slice she’s cut. I hold it out to her, offering it to her, and she takes it willingly. I watch her lips close around it, which arouses me instantly, and kiss her before recalling that we were having a conversation. “No,” I continue, remembering my stance, “if you’re just casually fucking, you’re a fuck buddy or a sex partner. If you do it more regularly, then you bump up to girlfriend. But you go to lover because there’s feeling in the word lover. There’s no feeling in the word girlfriend or fuck buddy or sex partner.”

“There’s feeling in sex partner. You feel like you’re a
part
of something…” she says, obviously not liking my definition.

I scoff at her argument. “I feel like I’m a part of something when I stand in line to take a piss, but that’s not a feeling. There’s a
feeling
in the word lover. A genuine feeling: love.”

She looks up at me seriously. “Do you
love
me, Will?”

I put my hands behind her neck and rub her rosy cheeks with my thumbs. “There’s definitely the potential for that here, Shea.” My heart pounds.

She grabs onto my shirt near my shoulders and pulls me toward her, kissing me once again. It’s one of the holy-fuck-I’m-about-to-lose-consciousness kisses. I put one arm around her waist and grasp onto the lip of the stove to steady myself as I feel my legs weaken. “You ever had sex in your kitchen?” I whisper to her once we break apart.

“That’s a serious health code violation.”

“What are they gonna do? Shut the place down?” I tease her.

“I’m not closed
yet
,” she says to me. “Here.” She feeds me a strawberry, covered in chocolate and icing. After I’ve swallowed the food, she offers to lick the remnants from my lips.