Loved (2 page)

“But how do I know when it will happen again?”

He looked at her. “You don’t.”

“But I never want to kill a human,” she said. “Ever.”

“You don’t have to. You can feed on animals.”

“But what if it happens when I’m stuck somewhere?”

“You will need to learn to control it. It takes practice. And willpower. It is not easy. But it is possible. You can control it. It is what every vampire goes through.”

Caitlin thought about what it would be like to capture and feed on a live animal. She knew she was already faster than she’d ever been, but she didn’t know if she was
that
fast. And she wouldn’t even know what to do if she actually caught a deer.

She looked at him.

“Will you teach me?” she asked, hopefully.

He met her stare, and she could feel her heart beating.

“Feeding is a sacred thing in our race. It is always done alone,” he said, softly and apologetically. “Except…” He trailed off.

“Except?” she asked.

“In matrimonial ceremonies. To bind husband and wife.”

He looked away, and she could see him shift. She felt the blood rush to her cheek, and suddenly the room became very warm.

She decided to let it go. She had no hunger pangs now, and she could cross that path when she came to it. She hoped he would be by her side then.

Besides, deep down, she didn’t really care that much about feeding, or vampires, or swords, or any of it. What she really wanted to know was about
him
. Or, really, how he felt about her. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him.
Why did you risk it all for me? Was it just to find the sword? Or was it something else? Once you find your sword, will you still stay with me? Even though romance with a human is forbidden, would you ever cross the line for me?

But she was afraid.

So, instead, she simply said: “I hope we find your sword.”

Lame
, she thought.
Is that the best you can do? Can’t you ever get the courage to say what you’re thinking?

But his energy was too intense, and whenever she was around him, it made it hard for her to think clearly.

“As do I,” he responded. “It is no ordinary weapon. It has been coveted by our kind for centuries. It is rumored to be the finest example of Turkish sword ever crafted, made of a metal that can kill all vampires. With it, we’d be invincible. Without it…”

He trailed off, apparently afraid of voicing the consequences.

Caitlin wished Sam was here, wished he could help lead them to her dad. She surveyed the barn again. She didn’t see any recent signs of him. She wished, again that she hadn’t lost her cell on the way. It would have made life so much easier.

“Sam always used to crash here,” she said. “I was sure he’d be here. But I know he came back to this town—I’m sure of it. He wouldn’t go anywhere else. Tomorrow we’ll go to school, and I’ll talk to my friends. I’ll find out.”

Caleb nodded. “You believe he knows where your father is?” he asked.

“I…don’t know,” she answered. “But I know that he knows a lot more about him than me. He’s been trying to find him forever. If anyone knows anything, it’s him.”

Caitlin thought back and remembered all those times with Sam, his always searching, showing her new leads, always getting disappointed. All the nights he’d go to his room and sit on the edge of her bed. His desire to see their father had been overwhelming, like a living thing inside of him. She felt it, too, but not as badly as he. In some ways, his disappointment had been harder to watch.

Caitlin thought of their messed-up childhood, of all that they’d missed, and suddenly felt overcome by emotion. A tear formed at the corner of her eye, and, embarrassed, she wiped it away quickly, hoping Caleb hadn’t seen.

But he had. He looked up and watched her, intensely.

He got up slowly and sat beside her. He was so close, she could feel his energy. It was intense. Her heart started to pound.

He gently ran a finger through her hair, pushing it back off her face. Then he ran it along the corner of her eye, and then down her cheek.

She kept her face down, staring at the floor, afraid to meet his eyes. She could feel them examining her.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his soft, deep voice putting her completely at ease. “We will find your father. We’ll do it together.”

But that wasn’t what she was worried about. She was worried about him. Caleb. Worried about when he would leave her.

If she faced him, she wondered if he would kiss her. She was dying to feel the touch of his lips.

But she was afraid to turn her head.

It felt like hours passed until she finally summoned the courage to turn.

But he had already turned away. He was leaning gently back against the hay, eyes closed, asleep, a gentle smile on his face, lit by the firelight.

She slid closer to him and leaned back, resting her head inches away from his shoulder. They were almost touching.

And almost was enough for her.

TWO

Caitlin slid back the door to the barn and squinted at a world covered in snow. White sunlight bounced off of everything. She brought her hands to her eyes, feeling a pain she had never quite experienced: her eyes were absolutely killing her.

Caleb stepped out beside her, as he was finishing wrapping his arms and neck in a thin, clear material. It almost looked like Saran wrap, but it seemed to dissolve in his skin as he put it on. She couldn’t even tell it was there.

“What’s that?”

“Skin wrap,” he said, looking down as he wrapped it carefully again and again over his arms and shoulders. “It’s what allows us to go out in the sunlight. Otherwise, our skin would burn.” He looked her over. “You don’t need it—yet.”

“How do you know?” she asked.

“Trust me,” he said, grinning. “You’d know.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small canister of eye drops, leaned back and put several drops in each eye. He turned and looked at her.

It must have been obvious that her eyes hurt, because he gently placed his hand on her forehead. “Lean back,” he said.

She leaned back.

“Open your eyes,” he said.

As she did, he reached over and put one drop in each eye.

It stung like crazy, and she closed her eyes and lowered her head.

“Ow,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “If you’re mad at me, just tell me.”

He grinned. “Sorry. It burns at first, but you’ll get used to it. Your sensitivity will go away within a few seconds.”

She blinked and rubbed her eyes. Finally, she looked up, and her eyes felt great again. He was right: all the pain had gone away.

“Most of us still won’t venture out during sunlight hours if we don’t have to. We are all weaker during the daytime. But sometimes, we must.”

He looked at her.

“This school of his,” he said. “Is it far?”

“Just a short walk,” she said, taking his arm and leading him across the snowy lawn. “Oakville high. It was my school, too, until a few weeks ago. One of my friends
has
to know where he is.”

*

Oakville High looked exactly as Caitlin remembered. It was surreal to be back here. Looking up at it, she felt as if she had just taken a brief vacation, and was now back to normal life. She even let herself believe, for a brief second, that the events of the past few weeks had all just been a crazy dream. She let herself fantasize that all was completely normal again, just as it had been. It felt good.

But when she looked over and saw Caleb standing beside her, she knew that nothing was normal. If there was anything more surreal than coming back here, it was returning with Caleb by her side. She would be entering her old school with this gorgeous man by her side, well over six feet, with wide, broad shoulders, dressed in all black, the high collars of his black leather trench coat hugging his neck, slipping under his longish hair. He looked like he had just walked off the cover of one of those popular teenage girl magazines.

Caitlin imagined what the reaction would be when the other girls saw her with him. She smiled at the thought. She had never been especially popular, and certainly no guys had paid much attention to her. She wasn’t unpopular—she had some good friends—but she was hardly in the center of the most popular clique, either. She guessed she was somewhere in the middle. Even so, she remembered feeling scorned by some of the more popular girls, who all seemed to stick together, to walk down the halls with their noses up, ignoring anyone they didn’t consider to be as perfect as they were. Now, maybe, they would take notice.

Caitlin and Caleb walked up the steps and through the wide double doors to the school. Caitlin glanced at the large clock: 8:30. Perfect. The first class would just be letting out, and the halls would fill any second. That would make them less conspicuous. She wouldn’t have to worry about security, or a hall pass.

On cue, the bell rang, and within seconds, the halls started to fill.

The good thing about Oakville was that it was a world apart from that awful New York City high school. Here, even when the halls filled up, there was still plenty of space to maneuver. Large glass windows lined all the walls, letting in light and sky, and you could see trees everywhere you went. It was almost enough to make her miss it. Almost.

She’d had enough of school. She was technically only a few months away from graduation, but she felt as if she’d learned more in the last few weeks than she ever would by sitting in a classroom for a few more months and getting an official diploma. She loved to learn, but she’d be just as happy to never go back again.

As they walked down the hall, Caitlin scanned for familiar faces. They were passing mostly sophomores and juniors, and she didn’t spot anyone from her senior class. But as they passed the other kids, she was surprised to see the reaction on all the girls’ faces: every single girl literally stared at Caleb. Not a single girl tried to hide it, or was even able to look away. It was incredible. It was as if she were walking down the hall with Justin Bieber.

Caitlin turned and saw that all the girls had stopped, still watching. Several were whispering to each other.

She looked over at Caleb, and wondered if he’d noticed. If he did, he didn’t show any sign of it, and he certainly didn’t seem to care.

“Caitlin?” came a shocked voice.

Caitlin turned and saw Luisa standing there, one of the girls she’d been friends with before she moved.

“Oh my God!” Luisa added excitedly, throwing her arms wide for a hug. Before Caitlin could react, Luisa was embracing her. Caitlin hugged her back. It felt good to see a familiar face.

“What happened to you?” Luisa asked, speaking in an excited rush, as she always did, her slight Hispanic accent coming through, as she had only moved here from Puerto Rico a few years before. “I’m so confused! I thought you moved!? I texted and IM-ed you, but you never responded –”

“I’m so sorry,” Caitlin said. “I lost my phone, and I haven’t been near any computers, and–”

Luisa wasn’t listening. She had just noticed Caleb, and she was staring, mesmerized. Her mouth literally dropped open.

“Who’s your friend?” she finally asked, almost in a whisper. Caitlin smiled: she had never seen her friend so flustered before.

“Luisa, this is Caleb,” Caitlin said.

“A pleasure,” Caleb said, smiling down, extending his hand.

Luisa just kept staring. She slowly raised her hand, in a daze, obviously too shocked to speak. She looked over at Caitlin, not understanding how Caitlin could have snagged such a guy. She looked at Caitlin differently, almost as if she didn’t even know who she was.

“Um…” Luisa began, wide-eyed, “…um…like…where…like…how did you guys meet?”

For a second, Caitlin toyed with how to respond. She imagined telling Luisa everything, and smiled at the thought. That wouldn’t work.

“We met…after a concert,” Caitlin said.

It was at least partially true.

“OMG, what concert? In the city? The Black Eyed Peas!?” she asked in a rush, “I’m so jealous! I’ve been dying to see them!”

Caitlin smiled at the thought of Caleb at a rock concert. Somehow, she didn’t quite picture him there.

“Um….not exactly,” Caitlin said. “Luisa, listen, sorry to cut you off, but I don’t have much time. I need to know where Sam is. Have you seen him?”

“Of course. Everybody did. He came back last week. He looked weird. I asked him where you were and what his deal was but he wouldn’t tell me. He’s probably crashing out at that empty barn he loves.”

“He’s not,” Caitlin answered. “We were just there.”

“Really? Sorry. I don’t know. He’s a sophomore, you know? We don’t really cross paths that much. Have you tried IM-ing him? He’s always on Facebook.”

“I haven’t had my phone—” Caitlin began.

“Take mine,” Luisa interrupted, and before she could finish, thrust her cell into Caitlin’s hand.
“Facebook’s already open. Just log in and message him.”

Of course
, Caitlin thought.
Why didn’t I think of that?

Caitlin logged in, type Sam’s name in the search box, brought up his profile, and clicked message. She hesitated, wondering exactly what to write. Then she typed: “Sam. It’s me. I’m at the barn. Come meet me. ASAP.”

She clicked
send
and handed the phone back to Luisa.

Caitlin heard a commotion, and turned.

A group of the most popular senior girls were heading down the hall, right towards them. They were whispering. And all looking directly at Caleb.

For the first time, Caitlin felt a new emotion well up inside of her. Jealousy. She could see in their eyes that these girls, who never paid her any attention before, would love to steal Caleb away in a second. These girls had sway over any guy in school, any guy they wanted. It didn’t matter if he had a girlfriend or not. You just hoped that they didn’t set their eyes on
your
guy.

And now they were all staring at Caleb.

Caitlin hoped, prayed, that Caleb would be immune to their powers. That he would still like her. But as she thought about it, she couldn’t understand why he would. She was so average. Why would he stick with her when girls like these would die to have him?

Caitlin silently prayed that the girls would just keep walking. Just this once.

But, of course, they didn’t. Her heart pounded as the group turned and headed right for them.

“Hi Caitlin,” one of the girls said to her, in a fake-nice voice.

Tiffany. Tall, with straight blonde hair, blue eyes, and stick thin. Decked out from head to toe in designer apparel. “Who’s your friend?”

Caitlin didn’t know what to say. Tiffany, and her friends, had never given Caitlin the time of day. They had never even so much as looked her way. She was shocked that they even knew she existed, and knew her name. And now they were initiating conversation. Of course, Caitlin knew it had nothing to do with her. They wanted Caleb. Badly enough to have to humble themselves to talk to her.

This didn’t bode well.

Caleb must’ve sensed Caitlin’s unease, because he took a step closer to her and put one arm around her shoulder.

Caitlin had never been more grateful for any gesture in her life.

With a newfound confidence, Caitlin found the strength to speak. “Caleb,” she answered.

“So, like, what are you guys doing here?” another girl asked. Bunny. She was a replica of Tiffany, except brunette. “I thought you, like, left or something.”

“Well, I’m back,” Caitlin answered.

“So, are you, like, new here, too?” Tiffany asked Caleb. “Are you a senior?”

Caleb smiled. “I am new here, yes,” he answered cryptically.

Tiffany’s eyes lit up, as she interpreted it to mean he was new to their school. “Great,” she said. “There’s like a party tonight, if you want to come. It’s at my house. It’s only for a few close friends, but we’d love to have you. And…um…you, too, I guess,” Tiffany said, looking over at Caitlin.

Caitlin felt the anger swelling inside her.

“I appreciate the invitation, ladies,” Caleb said, “but am sorry to report that Caitlin and I already have an important engagement this evening.”