Love/Fate (20 page)

Jada fell silent, and looked Sunny in her eyes. “He was the love of my life,” she said.

Sunny looked at her friend like she was crazy. “He was the love of your what?” She was dumbfounded. Sunny pulled a cigarette out of her purse. She'd been swearing she was going to quit, but it was shit like this conversation that sent her reaching for a square. She lit it, and exhaled the smoke. “Don't get me wrong, Jada. I always liked Born. Him and Dorian were tight like brothers. And when y'all were together, I thought he really loved you. But I lost some respect for him after what he did to you. Girl, the nigga threw you out on the street with a muthafuckin' monkey on your back. And he was the love of your life?” Sunny's expression was incredulous.

Jada sat back, and folded her arms across her chest. “I hate him for throwing me away like garbage. But I can't help loving him still. I can't explain it. It probably sounds dumb, or whatever. But I think I'll always love him.” Jada looked away from Sunny, her eyes staring at nothing in particular. “I guess it has a lot to do with his relationship with his father. But that's a long story.”

Sunny stood up and walked over to Jada's small bar. She poured herself a drink, and returned to her seat on the couch. “Well then, start talking, girl. ‘Cuz I got all night.” Sunny stretched her legs across the sofa's cushions and got cozy.

Born walked into Anisa's house, using his own key, and dropped his jacket on the leather recliner. Seeing his son, Ethan, stuck in his usual spot on the floor in front of the TV playing Def Jam Fight For New York, Born smiled, happy to see his boy.

“Wassup, Dad?” little Ethan greeted his father.

“What up, boy?” Born lovingly rubbed his son's head and glanced at the TV screen in time to see Method Man knock Snoop Dogg into the path of an oncoming subway train. Born glanced at all the games Ethan had—Xbox, PlayStation, Game Cube, even the new PSP. He had the hottest games for each and every system. Born knew that it was overkill, that all of this was too much for one seven-year-old to have. But Born was determined that Ethan would have his every heart's desire provided to him by his father. For that reason, he went out of his way to fill Ethan's closet with every designer children's outfit by the likes of Phat Farm, Sean John, Rocawear, Akademiks, etc. Ethan had eleven pairs of sneakers—Jordans galore, Timberlands, Uptowns, and all that. Every two weeks he got a new pair of sneakers. The boy had a leather jacket, a Sean John snorkel, a suede Phat Farm coat, and a gold chain. Born even brought a hot hero from the local pizzeria to Ethan's school each day so that his son wouldn't be subjected to the school's lunch. Anisa refused to make his son lunch every night, so Born bought it for him, since Ethan hated the cafeteria food. It was that serious. He had everything a kid his
age could ever possibly want, and his father was proud of that. Born enjoyed seeing Ethan enjoy the finest things.

To him, that was one of the marks of being a good father, ensuring that your child's wants and needs were fulfilled. Born wanted to do whatever was necessary to ensure that Ethan knew his father had his back no matter what.

Ingrid often told her son that what he did for Ethan was excessive. He was spoiling the child, giving him more clothes than necessary, more toys than any child could ever play with. But to Born, it was all part of doing whatever it took to feel like he was doing a better job at fatherhood than Leo had. Born's disappointing relationship with his father shaped the type of father he was to his own son. In his lifetime, Born had seen his share of death and destruction, sorrow and sadness. But on the day that Anisa gave birth to Ethan, he had finally witnessed the miracle of life. He had seen life and hope, and his outlook had changed drastically. For the first time in his life, he had a reason to live. Ethan was his everything.

His relationship with Anisa had changed long ago. They'd gone their separate ways not long after Ethan was born. When Born had first come home from jail, he had called Anisa, wanting an explanation for why she'd left him all alone while he was away. Anisa had apologized for her disappearing act, and begged Born to come and see her. He did, and he spent some time with her, and caught up on some much needed sex with her. But to him, that's all it was. Sex. Then, to Born's surprise, Anisa had discovered that she was pregnant. When she'd first told him about her pregnancy, Born had mixed emotions. His intention had never been to get involved seriously with Anisa. She was just a plaything for the time being, and he wondered if he could trust her. What if she was lying about him being the father of her child, in order to trap him? To be certain, he insisted on having a paternity test when Anisa gave birth. Sure enough, Ethan was his son, and Born assumed the role of fatherhood like a pro. He changed Pampers and went to doctor appointments. He was such a good father to Ethan that Ingrid couldn't help beaming with pride whenever she saw them together. From day one, he was hands-on.
He wished Anisa hadn't been the one who wound up being his baby's mama. But he was happy to have his son, and knew that Ethan would be the reason that he changed his life for the better.

Born had given Anisa a chance to redeem herself after Ethan was born. And he tried forgiving her for the sake of their new family. But something inside of him wouldn't let him get past the way she'd abandoned him while he was locked up. Something wouldn't allow him to let go of the fact that she had proven herself to be untrustworthy. Anisa tried to look and act the part of Born's ideal woman. Still, no matter how she tried, in Born's eyes she was just the young lady who'd been lucky enough to have his firstborn. He still hit it every now and then. But Born knew that there was no real future between them. Still, in his determination to ensure Ethan's well-being, Born set her up in a nice one-family home on Bement Avenue. He spent the night with her every once in a while. But he had his own home—a duplex condo off of Richmond Avenue—where he spent the majority of his time. He gave Anisa money for whatever she needed, and spent tons of money on their son. This was his way of ensuring that Anisa didn't cause him any baby mama drama, and also that she wouldn't move too far away from him and take his son away. Anisa didn't date much. Not publicly, anyway. She had one or two “maintenance men,” whom she called for physical emergencies, whenever Born got tired of servicing her. But she dated none of them seriously. Anisa held out hope that she could sucker Born into having another baby with her. That, she figured, might restore her to the number-one slot in his life. Especially now that he was getting involved in the entertainment industry.

Born had come home from prison, and gone back to getting money with Dorian's crew. But it didn't feel right to him anymore. Born was growing tired of the game. Having had so much time to think while he was away, he'd come to some conclusions. Drugs had destroyed the lives of those around him, and they had come damn close to destroying his. Leo was gone, and so was Jada, in a sense. He thought about Ace, just coming down from a twenty-year bid, and about his half siblings, who were still strung out in this day and age. And he thought about all the
years he'd spent in jail, years he had lost forever. He wanted to be there for his son, and the risk of going back to jail or being killed in the streets was a risk no longer worth taking. Born began looking for an exit from the game.

While still doing business with Dorian's crew, Born opened a sneaker store in Park Hill, on Targee Street. He did good business with that, and used it as a front for the few shady dealings he still had left to handle. He enjoyed the day-to-day operations of running his store, but the money wasn't nearly enough to entice him to leave the game alone completely. Eventually, he also took over Slim's barbershop, and that business was successful as well. Still, Born was reluctant to do anything other than the one thing he'd done all his life—hustle. The legitimate businesses were merely excess income. It just allowed him to keep putting money away for Ethan's future, as well as for Dorian's son.

D.J. was being raised by his uncles. And part of what bothered Born was the fact that he knew that Dorian would have been displeased with how his son was being brought up. Born knew what Dorian had wanted for D.J.'s future, because it was very similar to what he wanted for his own son. An education, without having to worry about paying for it. A chance to go to college, or to play professional sports, or to get into the entertainment industry. The sky was the limit for their sons, because of the work their fathers had put in, and the connections they'd made along the way.

But D.J. was being groomed to be a heartless, fearless hustler. Born knew that Dorian would not have wanted that life for his son. Not so soon, anyway. DJ. was fifteen years old, and rarely went to school. He was constantly on the road with his uncles, learning the game and soaking up all the wrong shit. Born felt a sense of responsibility toward the youngster. After all, he himself had once been groomed as Dorian's successor. He began to put in more time with Dorian's son.

D.J. wanted to be a rapper. And he was good enough to be a multi-platinum success, if only he were given the chance to do something other than learning the game. Whenever Born went to spend time with D.J.—as he constantly did, often for days at a time—he took him to a recording
studio to help him learn the industry, meet artists, and cut demos. Born used his connection with Zion, his childhood friend who was well connected in the music industry, which allowed him access to all the best studios in New York City. They spent hours at the Hit Factory, where hundreds of artists over the years had created timeless classics. Born drilled it into D.J.'s head that someday he might be among those who had created number-one hits in that very same studio. D.J. was excited whenever Born came to pick him up, because he knew that Born took a genuine interest in what interested D.J. Music. And getting into the industry seemed like an attainable goal, not something that was beyond his reach.

Born also talked to D.J. about his father all the time. Not in the way that D.J.'s uncles spoke about Dorian. They made him sound like a Nino Brown type of guy, who had made a fortune by taking no prisoners in a game so ruthless that it would chew you up and spit you out if you weren't careful. They made Dorian sound like he was 100 percent hustler, and nothing else. But that wasn't how D.J. remembered his father. He remembered Dorian being a very handsome man, who drew all the attention whenever he walked into a room. He remembered Dorian as the ideal father, who taught his son to play ball and shared a love for music with him. He remembered Dorian as a good man, just as Born remembered him. A loyal and trustworthy friend with a heart of gold. Not one made of stone, the way D.J.'s uncles portrayed him. As young as D.J. was, he knew that Born had been a true friend to his father. He could tell by the way Born took responsibility for him, as if he were his own son. Born talked to D.J. about girls, about life, in a way that a father would. He didn't sugarcoat his past. Instead, he described in explicit detail the way he had come to know Dorian, and the ways in which they'd taken the game and played it to the end. Born let D.J. know all the pitfalls that came along with being a hustler. He explained why he wanted to get out of the game, told him all about his past. And, by leveling with Dorian's son as if he were a
young
man as opposed to a
grown
man, Born gained D.J.'s respect and admiration. D.J. could clearly understand why
the man who had become his mentor and father figure had also been his father's best friend.

Seeing how DJ. related to him made Born extremely proud. He loved him as if he were his own son, and he knew that Dorian would be proud of how Born was helping to shape and mold him into a strong and determined young man.

His time in the studio began to pay off. D.J. auditioned for a chance to battle on
Cipher Sundays,
a rap freestyle competition, in which contestants battled for the chance at a recording contract. He was thrilled when they called him for the show, and Born worked with him to get ready for his big shot. He really believed that D.J. had what it took to go the distance. Already, he'd been in freestyle ciphers in Brooklyn, and uptown, and D.J. had held his own, and made Born proud. Born had ensured that D.J. had been exposed to all the areas of the industry that he himself had access to. He figured Dorian's son was ready for the world.

When D.J. won the first round of the competition, everyone began to pay attention. Dorian's brothers, who up to that point had only seen rapping as a pastime D.J. enjoyed when he wasn't soaking up the game, began to take notice. They were still a little skeptical that he had what it took to compete on such a high level. Many youngsters dreamed of being famous rappers, yet few actually achieved that goal. But after watching him on TV, and seeing him demolish the competition, everyone in their family began to take notice of his talent. For five consecutive weeks, D.J. conquered opponent after opponent, and the title of
Cipher Sundays
Champion was within reach.

Dorian's two brothers—William and Lamont—invited Born over for a meeting at Lamont's house. They explained that they wanted to talk to him about D.J. and his career. When he got there, D.J. had smiled at him as if he knew something that Born didn't know. He did. Dorian's brothers sat Born down, and explained that they'd thought D.J. was best suited to follow in Dorian's footsteps in the streets. But after seeing D.J. pummel the competition for more than a month on
Cipher Sundays,
they were convinced that he had a different destiny. Finally, they believed that
DJ. had what it took to be a rapper. And, they explained, the reason they had called Born over to discuss this was because they wanted him to be D.J.'s business manager. DJ. already had a terrific chemistry with Born, and it didn't hurt that Zion—a man with considerable industry connections—had suggested, and almost insisted, that Born be the man chosen to manage D.J. Both Born and D.J. were thrilled at their new business relationship, and Born began to see that this might be his big chance to get out of the game once and for all.