Lovers' Dance (81 page)

“Oh, shut up,” I retorted.

“Don’t tell her to shut up,” Sharon, or Shonda, exclaimed. “Your business is out there anyway. Rashid’s shown me that stuff on the Internet—”

“Are you intellectually challenged?” I interrupted with my polite version of calling her dumb. “Did you not hear me? You don’t know me, so keep your two cents to yourself.”

“Jenny, you’d better talk to your cousin, ’cos she’s pressing on my nerve,” the other one said. “Just because you’ve got a rich white man you think you better than us? Girl, you black, that ain’t gonna change. He’s only fucking you for a taste of black pussy,” she sneered.

I dropped the lacy tablecloth. “I am not a violent person, but keeping talking that shit and I will wipe the floor with your face.”

Jenny rolled her eyes, coming over to pick the tablecloth off the ground. “Stop being a drama queen, Madi. You know you can’t fight. They’re entitled to their opinions.”

I looked at her. How could she be blasé about this? Well, if she wouldn’t have my back, I wouldn’t have hers. I turned on my heels and headed for the stairs. I was fuming. And, God forbid, feeling spiteful. It didn’t help I’d been drinking a bit of wine as we cooked. Inside the room I was sharing with Jenny, I searched frantically for that little piece of paper. 

There it was. I snatched the cheque from the dresser and stormed out the room. I bumped into Jamal and another cousin named Leon on my way to the snug.

“Madi, can you help bring in more beer?” Jamal asked. I ignored him as I drew nearer to the snug where my disloyal cousin was.

“What’s wrong with that girl?” Leon muttered.

When I got to the snug, the three of them were still there. I stood in the doorway, gaze landing on Jenny’s face, and held the cheque up. Her eyes widened immediately as she recognized what was in my hand.

“Madi? What are you—” she started, running over to where I stood.

I tore it in half and she screamed. Then I tore the two halves into quarters and tore those into eights for good measure.

I flung the pieces over her shaking form. “Let them help you out, seeing as you’re tight and they’re family.”

“Mom!” Jenny started yelling at the top of her voice, tears building in her light-brown eyes.

I froze, my previous spitefulness being replaced by nervousness. Oh, shit. This was going to be bad.

“Ma!” Jenny screamed, bending down to pick up the pieces of her dream that lay scattered on the floor.

There were feet thundering towards us. Aunt Cleo came with half the horde behind her.

“What? Why are you yelling the house down, Jen?” she asked, pushing me aside. I started stepping away. If I slipped away unnoticed, I could run upstairs and write out a new cheque.

“Madi tore up my tuition cheque,” Jenny wailed. “She tore it up, Mom.”

Aunt Cleo turned. I had already put a bit of distance between me and the people crowding around Jenny.

“Madison, did you do that?” Aunt Cleo asked, incredulous.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out as numerous eyes stared at me. I kept backing away until I bumped into someone. The scent made me aware it was Matt.

“What’s going on?” he asked, spinning me around to face him.

“She tore up my cheque,” Jenny blubbered. Her grandma was patting her back while Aunt Cleo stared at me in shock.

“I—she—I didn’t—” I stammered, unable to think with those accusing looks being sent my way.

“What cheque?” Gemma asked, coming out last from the kitchen.

“My tuition cheque,” Jenny said between her sobs. “She said she would pay for it and I was supposed to start at Columbia in January.”

“Poppet,” Matt murmured quietly. “Did you tear up the cheque?”

I nodded slowly.

Everyone started talking over each other, and Aunt Cleo started leading her sobbing daughter down the hallway towards the front room. She shot me a disappointed look when passing by and my heart sank.

“Someone always have to start a drama on the holidays,” someone said in disgust. I think it was Latisha.

I shrank back against Matt as they marched into the sitting room to comfort the inconsolable Jenny. I don’t know why she was still carrying on. She knew I would write her another cheque. I wasn’t the drama queen, she was.

“Poppet.” Matt rubbed my back in slow circles.

“I should go in there and apologize,” I said in a small voice before moving away from his comforting touch. He followed me into the sitting room. I tugged on my beige sweater dress, noticing the small stain by my stomach. Must be gravy. Jenny was wailing, surrounded by an outpouring of concerned relatives. She had always been the favourite, she was my favourite, too.

“Jenny, I—” I began when Ms Regina, the woman who wouldn’t let me call her grandma, started in on me.

“How you gonna make my Jenny cry like this? On Thanksgiving to boot.” She wagged a finger at me. She looked like a frail old woman, but her tongue was sharp. She unleashed that sharpness on me. “You’d better write her a new cheque for her studies. Tearing up her cheque and breaking your word like that. You said you would pay—”

“Now, wait a minute,” Matt interjected in a calm voice.

“Hey, man, this is family business.” Uncle David’s brother jumped in, followed by a few low murmurs of agreement.

“It’s the least you can do,” Ms Regina continued as Jenny sobbed in Aunt Cleo’s arms. Uncle David was patting her shoulder while Jamal looked on as he bit into an apple. He would spoil his dinner if he kept on snacking.

“I beg your pardon?” Matt queried in a shocked voice. “The least she could do? What is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s okay, Matt,” I muttered quickly. I didn’t want them turning on him.

Ms Regina didn’t like being questioned. She pushed her glasses up her nose and peered at Matt and me. “What? You think food and board is free? She owes this family. My son took her in.”

And that opened the flood gates. Everyone wanted to have their say. I stood there, silent as a stone, and let their comments wash over me. Matt kept his hand on my lower back while they voiced their unwanted opinions about me, about each other. Not only was it humiliating to have Matt present as it occurred, but I blamed myself for being the spark to ignite the flame that was consuming a peaceful Thanksgiving. I should have ignored the conversation in the snug. For a quarter of an hour, there were raised voices, snide name calling and general mayhem. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, and all I wanted to do was say sorry to stop Jenny’s tears. I would write her a new cheque and explain it was the stress of being in the kitchen and worrying about Thanksgiving that had made me rip up the cheque.

Then Jenny, sobbing, had looked over at me with hate in her eyes as she said, “Ma was right about you. You’re a troublemaker like your mom was. Stirring up shit all the time. You want to see me fail. You’ve always been jealous of me. Always thinking you were better than us. Well, you’re not and screwing some rich white man won’t change that. You’re ungrateful. If my parents didn’t have to take care of you for all those years, they would’ve paid for me to go to college themselves.”

Each word she uttered felt like a blade to my heart. What hurt more was the lack of response from Aunt Cleo and Uncle David. I guess…I guess I couldn’t expect any support from them. She was their only daughter after all, and I was not.

Matt’s touch on my back fell away. He pulled his cell out and made a call.

“I want you out front. Now,” he commanded, before hanging up and slipping his phone back into his pocket. Then his tone softened as he said, “Go get your stuff, poppet. We’re leaving.”

I tilted my head upwards in order to see his face. He gave me a small smile and gestured towards the door.

“She’s not going with you.” Gemma jumped in. “This is family business.”

A chorus of muted mhmms followed her statement.

“Family,” Matt said, with a coldness that silenced the room. “You people have no idea what that word means.” He looked at my aunt and uncle. “I’ve watched the way you treated Madi these past few days and it’s appalling, bordering on emotional torment. That’s not family. You took her in when her parents died, something many people would say is noble.” His face hardened into a haughty mask. “What you’ve done for her is not noble. Do you think giving her a roof over her head absolves you from the emotional starvation you’ve subjected her to? She looks to you for constant affirmation that she belongs, and you deny her that. She doesn’t owe any of you a bloody thing.” Matt scoffed at Jenny. “And you should get a job, not expect your cousin to pay your way. If you want to make something of yourself, then work for it like she’s done. You’re spoilt, and you need to grow up.”

That caused an eruption of “Who the hell does he think he is?” interspersed with “Damn fool thinks he can talk to us like that.”

Matt’s jaw clenched, his face was deep red with anger. He looked at me and repeated, “Get your stuff, Madi.”

Everyone fell silent. I blinked, looking at my aunt. It was fucked up, but she was the closest thing I had to a mother.

“I can’t, Matt.”

The colour drained from his face. “Poppet—”

I shook my head, tears brimming over. “I can’t, Matt.”

“Madi, if you don’t come with me now—” He broke off, not needing to finish his sentence. His warning. Matt held a hand out to me. If I didn’t take his hand, we would be over. I could see that in his eyes. I could see him silently willing me to put my hand in his.

“I can’t,” I whispered, and Matt’s hand fell to his side.

His throat bobbed up and down for a moment, then his beautiful grey eyes lost all emotion as he said, “Since the first moment I met you, I have never been ashamed of you. Today I am.”

Of all the things that had been said to me, that hurt the most. I wanted to explain why I couldn’t leave but my mouth stayed shut.

Matt shook his head slowly, then moved to the front door. The force he slammed it shut with once he walked out shook the walls. Moments later, the screech of rubber burning asphalt was heard. My knight was gone.

Everyone started talking at once, making vile comments about Matt. My eyes found Aunt Cleo’s.

It was time to cut the apron strings.

“I would like a word with my family,” I said quietly. I don’t think they heard me, so I raised my voice and said, “If you don’t live here, get the hell out of the sitting room.”

“This girl has lost her mind,” Latisha said.

I walked over to the door leading out the sitting room and held it ajar. I was shaking, my whole body was shaking. “Get out. Get out. Get out.”

They must have seen the wild look on my face, because everyone made a beeline for the door I held open. Until the five of us remained. Jenny was sniffling as I closed the door on the relatives hanging out in the hallway. Nosy-ass bastards.

I inhaled deeply and looked at the people who had taken me into their home when I had no home to call my own.

“Do you love me?” I asked quietly.

Uncle David sent me a confused look. “What on earth? Madison, what’s wrong with you? Cussing in front your aunt like that—”

“Do you love me?” I yelled, eyes fixed on Aunt Cleo. “Because I don’t think you do.” The tears were spilling out now. “I don’t think you ever did. I’m a burden, aren’t I? The little orphan that you never wanted. I have done everything you’ve ever asked of me and it’s never enough. Did you hate her that much, Auntie Cleo? Did you hate my mother so much that you couldn’t find it in your heart to love her daughter like your own? What did she ever do to you? What have I ever done to you but try to make you happy?” My nose was streaming now. “I don’t owe you jack shit. None of you. Whatever costs you may have incurred for the time I lived here has been paid. Twice over. What? You think I didn’t know you sold their house, Auntie Cleo? I knew. I saw the papers when I was twelve. And I moved out when I was eighteen—”

“Yeah,” Jenny sneered. “As soon as you got that inheritance you—”

“Shut the hell up, Jenny,” I grated out. “I’m talking to your mother.” I turned back to a shocked Auntie Cleo. “I worked while I attended dance school. I gave you money for bills when I didn’t live here anymore. I did it all because you’re my family, the only family I have left. But you don’t love me. You can’t possibly love me because, if you did, you would have welcomed Matt with open arms. If you loved me, you would have done every single thing in your power to ensure I knew I was wanted, that I was cherished, that I wasn’t alone in this world. Matt does that. He loves me. And I’ve sent him away to spare your goddamned pride. So he wouldn’t be here when I told you all to get fucked.” I wiped a trembling hand across my face and stalked towards the sitting room door.

“Where are you going?” Auntie Cleo finally found her voice.

I turned, doorknob in hand. “Upstairs. To get my stuff.”

She looked at me and I held her gaze. Did she ever love me?

“If you leave this house today, Madison, you won’t ever be welcomed back. If you walk out my door today, as God as my witness, we’ll be finished,” she said in a raw voice.

I couldn’t stop the sound of pain. I swiped at my tears, nodding.

“I know, Auntie Cleo, I know. I’m going upstairs now.”