Lovers in law (29 page)

Never one to share my
apartment, Allie set about organising
spectacular parties to introduce her bonkers friends to my
rather more staid ones, and the sight of my head of chambers
dancing the Macarena with Allie will haunt me to my dying day. She
cooked like an angel and our friends fought to be invited to
dinner, the evening always ending with Allie and I abandoning the
washing up in favour of sex on the worktops.

From being somewhere to lay
my head, my apartment became the place I rushed
back to at the end of the day and it felt like a home with
Allie in it. For the first time since childhood, I had someone
taking care of me and doing the little things I never thought to do
for myself. The book I’d mentioned appeared next to my bed. When I
ran out of aftershave Allie replaced it without me asking. Even
though her own workload was crippling some weeks, she’d help me
prepare my cases late into the night or at weekends, making me
virtually unbeatable in court. I even found her in the laundry one
day ironing my shirts.

“There’s no need for you to do
that,” I told her, liking the way the steam from the iron flushed
her cheeks. “That’s the housekeeper’s job.”

“I know.” She frowned and
looked troubled. “Only I can’t bear the thought of another woman
touching your clothes.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I know. Crazy for you.”

But just as she looked after
me, I loved taking care of her too.
It
was exactly as Stephen had said: our relationship suddenly stopped
being only about sex and passion and turned into me wanting to
protect and care for Allie. If she was working late, I’d cook pasta
and take it into the office for her. I gave her time and space to
see her friends but always met her at the end of the night to see
her home safely. I bought her a thicker coat for going out on site
with Aiden and made room in my study for an extra desk so she’d
have somewhere decent to work from home. I couldn’t do enough for
her and, for the first time in my life, I gladly began putting
myself second.

Therefore, when
Allie came home one night looking pale and
exhausted, I rushed to help her off with her coat.

“Are you okay?” I asked,
feeling her forehead but there was no sign of a
temperature.

“Fine,” she lied.
“
But I’ve had a really awful day and just
want to collapse into bed. Do you mind if we don’t go
out?”

I didn’t mind at all and
cancell
ed the table before making her
some tea and toast, and carrying them through to our bedroom. She’d
snuggled down under the duvet and looked as ashen as the sheets. My
lawyer’s instinct kicked in as I lay down beside her.

“Are you sure
there’s nothing wrong?” I asked.

“Perfectly.” She managed a
weak smile. “Except Aiden’s definitely buying out Zeus
Developments. Because I’ve worked with them before, I’m excluded
from the negotiations but I’m still terrified of coming face to
face with Daniel Greene.”

My hackles rose at the
thought of the man
. “If he so much as
speaks to you, I swear I’ll kill him this time.”

She laughed at my
over-reaction and brightened slightly. “No need.
I’ve already told my managing partner what Daniel’s like and Aiden
will be protection enough – if ever we get hold of him. He says
he’s taking time off in America but he’s being very
mysterious.”

“Knowing him, he’s
probably buying Texas or redeveloping Central
Park.”

Nothing would surprise me
about Aiden but I was more concerned with Allie than with his
disappearance. I went to bed early too, curling myself around her
and waiting for her to fall asleep. But she lay awake late into the
night and was up early the following day, looking washed out and
poorly.

“You need to stay in
bed,”
I told her, taking her temperature
again. “Phone in sick.”

“I can’t.” She applied extra
blusher to brighten her cheeks. “Too much work.
I’ll be fine once the day gets going.”

But she wasn’t fine. Not for
days, even though she tried to hide how ill she felt. The sparkle
dropped from her, as did
the weight, and
her clothes hung off her. Then one morning I heard her throwing up
in the bathroom and knew immediately she was pregnant.

Coward that I am, I left
for
chambers without saying a word,
wanting to work out how I felt about impending fatherhood before
Allie broke the news. Three days later, she still looked wretched,
I hadn’t mentioned my suspicions and she’d completely withdrawn
from me.

I couldn’t bear it
and tried a hundred different ways to shake her
out of her low mood but none of them worked. She stayed late at the
office; arriving home too tired to do anything but fall into bed.
Where once we’d talked for hours, Allie now stared sightlessly at
the television or did paperwork after dinner. Even making love
became infrequent and lacking passion.

Every movement, every
gesture, every sleepless night told me
Allie was struggling and I longed to lift the weight off
her shoulders. To tell her I’d take care of her, no matter
what.

But I
didn’t want to put her under pressure. I guessed she was
afraid to tell me the truth and had her own decisions to make about
the baby. I loved and wanted her – the baby too – but I also
respected Allie’s right to choose. Even though the thought of
losing either of them drove me crazy.

I needed to talk it through and
called Stephen Mercer to meet for drinks.

“
How’s Allie,” he asked as
soon as we sat down.

“Pregnant,” came my terse
reply.

Stephen’s glass halted on its
way to his mouth and he stared at me.
“Christ. Not exactly planned, I assume.” He always had been
the master of understatement. “How do you feel?”

I laughed grimly. “Ask me an
easy question and we’ll work up to the difficult ones.” The thing
was, I had absolutely no idea how I felt. Over the past three days
I’d gone through every emotion from panic to excitement and back to
panic again. “Numb. Scared. Delighted. But ask me again in five
minutes and I might tell you something different.”

“What are you going to do?”

The
effortless answer to this question had come to me a week
ago when I’d heard Allie crying in her sleep and had pulled her
into my arms to comfort her. “I’m going to propose.”

“What?” Stephen gulped down
his wine and choked loudly. “Are you sure?”

“Never been more certain of
anything in my life.”

“But you’ve known her less
than
twelve months. Been dating less than
six. These days people don’t need to get married because there’s a
baby on the way.”

I knew that. I’d already had
this argument with myself coun
tless times
over the past week but it didn’t alter my decision. “Every time I
see her she takes my breath away. She’s clever, funny, beautiful,
loving. So perfect, I can’t believe she’s real most days and I
can’t imagine life without her. She’s turned my empty apartment
into a home, filled it with friends and laughter, and given me the
kind of life I never knew existed. I don’t want that to end. I
already know I want to build my life around her. What’s the point
in waiting?”

Stephen blew out a long, slow
breath. “London Bridge really
is falling
down. The capital’s most eligible bachelor handing in his little
black book and getting married.”

“You think I’m making a mistake?”
Stephen’s opinion wouldn’t change my mind but I’d have liked his
blessing.

“Does she make you happy?”

“So happy it scares me. A
year ago I didn’t even know she existed. Now I couldn’t exist
without her.”

“And the baby?”

“Terrifies me.”

“Don’t worry. We’re all terrified.”
With one daughter already and another child on the way, Stephen
spoke from experience. “Sally was the one who really wanted kids
and I just went along with it. But it’s the best thing that ever
happened to me. You won’t regret it. Trust me.”

I rushed to put him straight,
afraid my friend would judge me. “I don’t regret it.” How could I
regret this new life Allie and I had created from love? I felt a
lot of things but remorse wasn’t one of them. “Truth is, I’m
terrified Allie will resent me for making her pregnant.”

Stephen stared in disbelief.
“For an intelligent man, you’re a raging fool sometimes. Why would
she resent you?”

“Because she’s brilliant at
her job. Her career means everything to her and she’s already lost
it once because of me. Now I’ve got her pregnant just as she’s
making a name for herself in the firm.”

“Lots of our female partners
have children, I doubt it’ll affect her prospects. She won’t blame
you.”

“Then why is she so withdrawn
and staying late at the office?
” I
finally gave voice to my greatest fear and the words felt leaden in
my throat. “She’ll either resent me for getting her pregnant, or
she’ll decide not to have the baby and hate herself for making the
choice. Either way, I risk losing her.”

“You’re overreacting.”
Stephen gave me the kind of look he reserved for his less
intelligent clients and took a deep breath. “You haven’t actually
spoken to Allie about any of this, have you?”

He’d guessed right. I still
hadn’t dared.
“She hasn’t even told me
she’s pregnant. I’ve just put two and two together.”

“And quite possibly come up
with five.” Stephen refilled our glasses and looked like he was
about to hand out the kind of advice clients don’t usually want to
hear. “You’re an idiot, Radford. You’re having this conversation
with the wrong person. You need to go home now and talk to
Allie.”

“I know. But I wanted to get
it straight in my own mind first. I recall a similar chat before
you proposed to Sally.”

Stephe
n rolled his eyes at the memory and couldn’t resist a
secret smile at the thought of his wife. “If an old married man
gave you some relationship advice, will you take it this time?” he
asked, pausing while I nodded because he knew I wouldn’t dare
ignore him again. “I’ve never seen you this happy. Any woman who
can curb Radford Byrne’s wandering eye has to be someone special.
For what my opinion’s worth, Allie loves you – probably a lot more
than you deserve – and I’d even risk saying she’s perfect for
you.”

“So you think I should marry
her?”

“Let her slip through your
fingers a second time and you’ll regret it for the rest of your
life. You’ll never find anyone else who comes close.”

Stephen had
suggested making a visit to Garrard’s jewellers
before my proposal. “There’s no better insurance than a five carat
diamond,” he’d told me as we’d left the wine bar. “Even the most
reluctant bride’s swayed by some outrageous bling.”

Whil
st I was happy to heed some of his advice, I knew Allie
better and visited an ironmonger’s instead. A little less
conventional but I hoped Allie would appreciate my romantic
gesture.

I’d called her at work
and
said I wanted to take her to dinner
at our favourite Italian restaurant on the South Bank. I arrived
home slightly late to find her already wearing the red dress that
looked so sexy on her, even though it now seemed a size too
large.

“You look great,” I said,
glad to see a sparkle in her eyes again. I kissed her hello and she
melted into my arms as if she hadn’t seen me for a week. “I’ve
missed you,” I said against her warm neck.

“I know. I’m sorry.” She
slipped her arms under my jacket and pulled me close, her hands hot
through my shirt. “
I’ve had a lot on my
mind but I’ll make it up to you tonight. Promise.” To show she
meant it, she guided my hand down under the hem of her dress. “And
unlike you, I keep my promises.” My fingers reached her bare thighs
and her equally naked arse and I let out a low breath of
excitement. “You promised to buy me some new, red knickers.” she
reminded me. “But you didn’t so I’m forced to go out without
them.”

I made a mental note to break
my word more often.
“How am I supposed to
get through dinner knowing that?”

S
he
squeezed my balls playfully and rubbed her palm along my already
stiffening cock. “That’s your problem. Keeping my hands off you for
the next three hours is mine.”

I changed in five seconds
flat and we took the
lift down to the
ground floor. As soon as the doors closed, she slammed me up
against the wall and kissed me just the way I liked it – hot,
aggressive and refusing to take no for an answer. Had I not had
something more important on my mind, I might have pressed the
Penthouse button and headed straight back upstairs. But the
conversation I needed to have with Allie couldn’t be put off a
moment longer.

At
eight in he evening, the Millennium footbridge joining St
Paul’s to the South Bank was virtually empty; the commuter rush
having died down an hour ago. It was my favourite time on the
bridge – with the lights coming up over London, staining the Thames
orange and gold, and the cathedral dome glowing against the
darkening sky.