Love's Courage (6 page)

* * *

Lesego and Tshepiso sit at Ocean Basket, chatting away. Lesego is nervous, but tries very hard to be nonchalant. As she puts up a front for her little sister, she wonders what she should wish for – for Kenneth to show up, or not. What would be worst? Or what would be best? What will she do if he does join them? She hopes she won't make a fool of herself, and with that thought she realises that she does want him to show up . . . badly.

“What's wrong?” Tshepiso asks. “You look like you've seen a ghost.”

“Just wondering why I would choose to like a man I can't have; a man who isn't free to be with me.”

“Who are you talking about? Kenneth?” her sister inquires.

Lesego nods slowly.

“But why can't you have him? Is he married or something?”

“You know how there've been so many scandals with the misappropriation of government funding, and corrupt government employees giving contracts to their friends, lovers and family . . . Kenneth is a good man, damn good at his job, and the country needs him; people like us need him. I could never be the reason that his reputation is destroyed. But my whole being cries out for him.”

“Have you gone for him?” Tshepiso asks.

“No, I've actually avoided him. But if he comes for me once more, I won't be able to resist; I just couldn't . . . My heart would shatter into pieces. I would have to know what it would've been like, I would need to get some idea of what we could've been, you understand?” Lesego stares deeply into her sister's eyes, her own heavy with a painful longing.

“I just feel like I need him in my life. Like he is the answer to my prayers. Like God was listening when I described the man of my dreams and created him just to answer that wish . . . I just . . . I . . .” Lesego ducks her head and takes a sip of her wine to cover the hurt that is beginning to build up at the thought that her love for Kenneth can never be.

“Well, here he is, so I guess whatever is between you is bigger and stronger than both of you.”

Lesego turns in delighted surprise to watch Kenneth heading straight for them with determined strides.

“What's the worst that could happen, sis?” Tshepiso asks. “He seems willing to risk it for you. So I guess it's up to you.”

Their eyes lock and hold as Kenneth makes his way to them. He breaks into a big smile as he reaches their table and stretches out his hand.

“Hi,” he says to Lesego.

“Hi,” she says back.

They stare at each other for what seems like forever, then he pulls up a chair and sits down.

“And hello to you too, Tshepiso,” Tshepiso says sarcastically, her amused smile taking the bite out of the comment.

“Sorry . . . hi,” Kenneth says.

When he turns right back to Lesego, Tshepiso rolls her eyes and motions to the waiter. “Please bring another menu and . . . Kenneth, what beer do you want? Kenneth? Kenneth!” she calls to him.

He wasn't listening and jumps when she starts to shout. “Uhm . . . Heineken,” he says distractedly.

“You two, let's eat and then I'll take my sister's car back to the house, and you can stay here and chat and make moon eyes at each other without me around. Can we agree to that?” Tshepiso asks testily.

Lesego and Kenneth nod their heads like children who have been reprimanded.

The three of them have a lovely dinner, filled with laughter and teasing. After dessert Tshepiso takes her leave, and the would-be lovers stay behind.

“You shouldn't be doing this, you know,” Lesego says, looking at Kenneth. “I'm ecstatic that you are, but I worry about what the consequences could be for you. And I'm sorry if this sounds callous, but my people need this project and I'm afraid that we'll jeopardise everything.”

“Lesego, sometimes you have to be brave enough to sacrifice an important ideal to realise a vital one. I'm not sure where this is going, or where we'll end up. But I do know that I can't deny the strength of my feelings any longer, and I need to find out what this all means.”

She gives him a worried look but he goes on, “I'll talk to my boss. I've already explained to him and he seemed quite understanding. I just have to know . . . Don't you?”

Lesego nods without the slightest hesitation.

They look around and notice that they are one of the few couples left in the restaurant. “I'm not ready to say goodbye. What do you want to do?” Kenneth asks her.

“Make out,” she says, ducking her head coyly. He lifts her chin and sees that same burning and cheeky look on her face. They feel the urgency to be in each other's arms starting to build. “We can't go back to my place; my sister's there.”

“My house is about fifteen minutes from here.”

“We're leaving very early tomorrow morning, so I have to go back home,” she says. He nods in understanding. “I promise I'll take you.”

They finish their coffee and leave.

The two head for his car . . . Everything seems to take too long. The walk to the parking garage, paying for the ticket, rushing to the car. As soon as they get in, they jump into each other's arms and devour each other, eager to taste . . . to savour . . . to experience each other again. They break apart when the alarm of the car next to Kenneth's goes off. Realising that things are getting out of hand, he starts his car and notices that his hands are shaking. He grips the steering wheel tightly and exhales deeply while opening the window and rubbing his head.

Lesego reaches down into her handbag for her lip gloss, causing her skirt to ride up her thighs. He sees that and shifts as he feels himself getting even harder with desire. He coughs to clear his throat. She realises where he is looking and reaches to pull the skirt down, but he grabs her hand and stops her.

“You have to focus on the road,” she says gingerly.

“I'm a good driver; I can handle it.” He pulls out of the parking garage and heads down the main road to his house.

Kenneth can't help it; he reaches out and trails his hand over the silky smoothness of her thigh . . . She gasps in desire. He feels goose bumps on her thighs. He feels them clench and imagines those smooth bare thighs clenched around his naked waist . . .

They arrive at the estate. Kenneth drives to his house, pulls into the garage and presses the remote to close it. He gets out of the car, goes around to Lesego's side and opens the door. He pulls her close, lifts her right leg and wraps it around his waist, then swoops in to claim her lips. She goes onto her toes to bring herself in closer to him and wraps her arms around his neck. His hand travels up her leg to her G-string . . . He moans but then pulls away.

“We can't do this here,” he says, labouring to breathe.

“You're the one who started it.” She looks into his face, ravaged with desire. “God, I want you so much,” she says, reaching for him again. They kiss heatedly and then break free.

Kenneth pulls her into the house, over the redwood floors to the master bedroom with its massive window looking out on manicured lawns with decorative lighting that floods the room. He goes to the dresser, takes out a lighter and proceeds to light scented candles across the room.

Then he sits down on the bed, whips off his shirt and tosses it on the floor violently, exposing a wonderfully shaped torso with firm pectoral muscles and a six-pack dusted with light dark fur that disappears into his linen pants which have been distended by his arousal. She licks her lips and sucks them into her mouth at the imagined pleasure she is about to receive. Her nipples tighten and rub against the cotton of her halterneck dress as she feels herself swell and begin to throb with desire.

Lesego walks over to stand right in front of him, kicks off her shoes and slowly pulls up her knee-length dress, exposing her thighs centimetres at a time. Then she opens her thighs and climbs onto his lap to sit snugly, crotch to crotch. She places her hands on either side of his face, lifts his mouth to hers and begins to gently touch, sip, lick and suck his lips, while softly thrusting against him . . . He runs his hands up her thighs to her hips, around to her shapely bottom, and pulls her even closer. He reaches up his right hand to grab her head and stop her teasing, then pulls her head closer so that he can plunder the treasure that is her mouth . . . Their duelling tongues are a portent of what their bodies would rather be doing.

Kenneth grabs hold of her dress, pulls it roughly over her head and takes his fill of her body . . . Her creamy, smooth caramel skin stretches from neck and shoulders to a full and buxom chest with dark chocolate-tipped, firm and perky breasts that he reaches out to measure. They overflow his large hands and he rubs them gently, causing her to arch her back and throw back her neck, thereby thrusting her hips even closer to his pulsating manhood. They both gasp and flinch with desire at the contact.

His hands continue their journey down her torso which dips sharply into a tiny waist, a flat and firm stomach with a dusting of dark hair that starts at her belly button and disappears below the edge of her pink silk G-string. He runs his hands down her sides, pulling her closer, arching her back so that he can take her puckered nipples into his mouth . . . He first sucks and then licks. Then he begins to alternate rhythmically while moving her in a circular motion on his lap, causing her to whimper, tremble and gasp. He releases her nipples and travels up her long, graceful neck, all the way up to her mouth. He kisses her so deeply that it becomes unclear to them where he begins and she ends.

Suddenly Lesego breaks free, steps off his lap and pulls him up to stand. She undoes his belt and pants, then pulls them off his hips. They fall to the floor and he kicks them off. Only now she realises that he doesn't wear underpants; she moans as desire floods her . . . She studies him as closely as he studied her, running her hands over his beautiful chest, down the fine dusting of coarse hair that covers his breast plate and charts a course to his hefty crotch. She licks her lips at the sight of his tumescent rod, reaches out her hand to take the velvety hardness into her hand and rub and measure it, making him thrust forward involuntarily and groan.

Not able to stand any more, he pulls her powerfully closer, picks her up, wraps her legs around his waist and pulls her head down to kiss deeply . . . He turns them and lies them down on the bed where he spreads her thighs and climbs in between them, lying down on top of her – chest to chest, crotch to crotch. They taste each other, delving into each other's mouths, their tongues still duelling each other. He grabs her thigh and lifts her leg high up on his back, opening her even more to his massive, hard, throbbing shaft with its hot, smooth tip right at the entrance to her weeping feminine core. He thrusts forward, pushing her silky panties into her throbbing passage. She involuntarily spreads her thighs wider by lifting her legs still higher up his back, pushing his manhood even deeper into her while whimpering with desire.

Lesego reaches down to take Kenneth's organ into her hand and stroke it. She is overcome with the need to take his velvety, hot smoothness into her mouth and feel him pulse with desire, to taste his essence as it seeps out. She pushes at him and when he falls onto his back, she scoots down his body. He grabs hold of her arm to stop her, almost in a panic.

“Please, Lesego. I don't think I could take that,” he mutters desperately.

“I need to taste you,” she says, licking her lips. “I want to, I need to; please let me,” she whispers urgently.

“Oooohhh GOD!” he exclaims. “You're killing me here, Lesego baby . . . I want you so badly that I don't know if I can handle this.”

“Just a little taste,” she says, bending her head and taking the large throbbing tip into her mouth and sucking gently, groaning with pleasure. She licks him from base to tip, opens her mouth wide and takes him deeply into her mouth . . . He reaches out and grabs hold of her head, not sure whether to stroke it, pull it away, or push it down. He feels himself break into a cold sweat when she sucks the tip of his penis again, and a shout of pleasure escapes. He knows if she does that one more time, he will come. He sits up urgently, reaches into his side table for a pack of condoms that he rips open. He slips one on, turns to her and starts kissing her urgently.

“I need to be inside you. Please, Lesego. I want you so bad . . . Please say you're ready for me,” he pleads urgently between deep, ravaging kisses. His hands reach down into her panties and he finds her hot, wet and sticky with desire. They both groan with pleasure; he grabs the strings, pulls them roughly down her thighs and climbs on top . . .

“Is this okay? Can I?” he asks her agitatedly. In answer she opens her thighs wide, raises her calves high on his back and pulls his waist into hers. He starts thrusting into her slowly and gently, but she is so wet that he slides in to the hilt, making them both whimper with desire. He fills her perfectly and she feels every wide, long, hardened inch of him.

He pulls out and slides back in, making them both moan again. He begins a rhythm that slowly builds on their desire, taking them higher and higher. She begins to writhe uncontrollably as the ache fills her whole being and the pressure in her loins builds . . . The pressure builds and builds and then explodes, the muscles in her vagina clenching and releasing, causing her to thrust wildly beneath him, squeezing his manhood, hurtling him over the edge into a powerful climax. Kenneth gives a loud shout. He shudders and spasms through his climax, plunging Lesego into another orgasm that she screams through. He covers her mouth to muffle the sound of her pleasure as he collapses on top of her, spent.

Satisfied, they drift off into blissful sleep . . .

6

An hour later Lesego wakes up to the pleasant feeling of someone nibbling on her neck and gently stroking her naked stomach. She turns her head to look over her shoulder into Kenneth's face.

He kisses her deeply and then mumbles, “Hey, sexy,” in a voice husky with desire.

“Hey yourself.” She smiles, stretches her arms over her head, and asks, “What time is it?”

“Around one in the morning,” he says, still nibbling from ear to shoulder.

“I'll have to go soon. We're leaving at six.”

“Your house is twenty minutes from here. If you go at four, you'll be there at twenty past, with plenty of time to get ready.”

“But I haven't even packed!” she says petulantly.

“And I haven't had my fill of your company. Give me two more hours. Please?” he asks.

“Two more hours of what?”

“Whatever comes up.”

Lesego breaks into giggles. “You are insatiable,” she sighs. “Okay then, two more hours.”

He pulls her back into his arms and begins to make love to her again.

* * *

“Lesego . . . Lesego . . . LESEGO!” an exasperated female voice breaks through Lesego's groggy mind.

She struggles to open her eyes. “Huh . . . What? What's wrong?”

“You slept all the way here. What were you doing that got you so exhausted?”

Lesego flashes a tired but satisfied smile at her sister.

Tshepiso smiles back and then says, “Why do I bother even asking, with that massive hickey on your neck.”

“Hickey!” Lesego is furious and suddenly wide awake. “I'll kill him!” She flips opens the visor to look at her neck in the mirror and sees a long purple bruise from ear to chin. “Shit!” she hisses, turning her angry gaze on her sister.

“Don't look at me, hao! I wasn't there, and I didn't do it to you.” Tshepiso laughs at her sister with the kind of affectionate cruelty that exists between siblings.

“Why didn't you tell me sooner?” Lesego asks crossly.

“Some women like to wear the mark of their men for all to see. I assumed you were one of those when you came out of your room in that halterneck,” her sister answers, innocently raising her eyes and shrugging her shoulders.

“If we were in Joburg or Durban, maybe. But not for a trip home, for heaven's sake!”

“Ayeye!” Tshepiso exclaims and then continues in a singsong voice, “Lesego's in trouble!”

“I only packed halternecks, Tshepi, and I have no base to cover this up. If they ask, what will I say?”

When she sees how truly distressed Lesego is, Tshepiso relents a little. “Our parents know you're having sex, Lesego. And sex has its consequences. Don't worry, I'm sure Dad has given Mom a few hickeys in their day.”

Lesego chokes on her spit and then coughs.

“Really!” Tshepiso says, exasperated. “You didn't fall from the sky, and it's not a big deal. Just say a mosquito bit you; there's a running joke about mosquitoes and hickeys.”

A few minutes later she pulls into a petrol station. “Do we fill the tank or are we on a budget?”

Lesego looks at the gauge; it's three quarters full. “Let's fill her up. That should get us home and back to Joburg,” she says, still looking in the visor mirror.

Tshepiso instructs the petrol attendant and steps out of the car to stretch. She goes into the garage shop and comes out with some cold drinks, ice cream and bottled water. Lesego gives her the money for the petrol and she hands it over to the petrol attendant. “I guess I'm still driving?” she asks, motioning towards Lesego who is slumped in the passenger seat, obsessively craning her neck and looking in the visor mirror.

Her sister doesn't bother to answer and Tshepiso quips, “The ravages of passion seem to have overcome you,” earning herself another angry look.

“Ha ha ha . . . Very funny. I could drive, but I'm really tired, and I need my wits about me if I'm to explain this giant hickey to our parents. So yes, you drive.”

Tshepiso starts the car and drives out of the petrol station.

Lesego reaches into her bag for her phone. She types:

You gave me a giant hickey on the day I'm going to see my father!!!

She adds a thunderous emoticon at the end of the message and presses Send. Soon she gets a reply:

Sorry, you just taste so good and were driving me crazy. I had to find a way of holding on to my sanity. Couldn't help it. Sorry!

Kenneth's message has a sad-looking emoticon at the end.

Lesego doesn't know whether to stay angry, smile, be charmed or be aroused. She replies:

How will I explain this to my father?

To which he replies:

I'm sure he knows what causes hickeys . . . I miss you. I crave you. When will you be back?

She SMSes back:

You're no help at all. Back Sunday night.

4 whole days!!! I won't be able to cope. Where do your parents live?

She feels flattered and answers:

LOL. It's just 4 days. Absence makes the heart grow fonder . . . Can't tell you where they live or I'll spend the entire time hoping to see your car drive up to our gate. Don't want to be disappointed if you can't make it. Anyway, the only man I plan to introduce my parents to is the one I plan to marry, and we don't know what this is and where it's heading.

He sends back another sad emoticon, followed by:

You don't have much faith in people's ability to follow things through, do you?

She thinks about this, wonders whether to be flippant or honest, or a bit of both, then responds:

Brenda Fassie said Umuntu ngege umconfirme, so you always have to leave some room for disappointment. After all, we're only human and can only do what we're able to at any given moment. Expectations can be soul-destroying.

Kenneth reads the message, wondering what made her so cautious and whether it is actually possible to truly capture the heart of a woman who is as much of a romantic as a cynic. He wonders whether she sees the contradictions in herself, but simply replies:

So you have no expectations of me?

Lesego's eyebrows shoot up. Wow, this has turned serious all of a sudden. She responds:

I expect you to be who you are and no one else. And for this to play itself out and fulfil its role – whatever that may be – in our lives. I expect you to be open and to gift me with whatever it is you're supposed to and then do what you must.

To which he answers:

That sounds like you expect this to end. What if I don't want that? What if I'm serious?

Whoa! Hold your horses. Let's finish AT LEAST a month before you start saying things like that. I don't want you to regret anything you said in the throes of new love.

Undeterred, he answers:

I can come by on Saturday and pick you up. Then your sister can drive your car back on Sunday night.

No. Have to go now. I'm being rude to Tshepiso. Bye.

Two beats pass, then Lesego's phone rings. She looks at the screen, and it's Kenneth. She answers with an exasperated laugh.

“Can I speak to Tshepiso, please?” he asks.

“She's driving; she can't talk right now.”

“Hey, Kenny!” Tshepiso shouts.

“A modern woman like you has a hands-free kit,” he insists. “Connect it to the phone. I really need to speak to your sister.”

“About what?” Lesego asks, a little peeved. “She isn't your friend.”

“Don't be impossible, Lesego. It's conversation between Tshepiso and me. Please respect those boundaries. Now let me speak to her.”

“No, I'm going now. I'll be thinking of you. Bye, Kenny.” She ends the call.

Five minutes go by, and the sisters are singing along to one of Tshepiso's house music CDs when Tshepiso's phone rings. She puts the earpiece in her ear and answers, giving Lesego, who is rummaging through her bag, a surreptitious look.

“Your sister's very old-fashioned,” Kenneth says.

“Yeah, I know,” Tshepiso responds.

“I really like her, but she doesn't seem to trust me. I promise you, I'm not playing games with her. My career is on the line and I don't even care; I just have to be with her,” he confides.

“That's good to know,” Tshepiso says with a pleased smile.

“Is she listening to you?”

“Yep.”

“So, you can't really respond.”

“Nope.”

“Okay . . . Would you mind coming back to Joburg early, or otherwise alone on Sunday night?”

“Well, I did want to hang out with some friends. So I think the first option,” Tshepiso replies.

“Is there any way you can convince Lesego to come back on Saturday?”

“What do I get in return?”

“My undying gratitude.”

Tshepiso snorts.

Kenneth goes through his mind, trying to think what would thrill a varsity student most. “A friend of mine owns Sound Explosion. Ever heard of it?” he asks.

“Yes, of course,” Tshepiso answers excitedly.

“I can get you and your friends in there for free. I'll give you some money to have a good time and you'll be VIPs for the night. How about that?”

“Great. I was even prepared to settle for some airtime . . . Is it worth that much to you then?” Tshepiso asks.

“Yes, it is.”

“Okay, I'll do it.”

“Fine, I'll call you later to make arrangements. When you can talk freely, send me an SMS and I'll call you back. Think of a way to get yourself back here Saturday afternoon, okay?” he says, sounding very excited.

“Cool.”

They ring off.

* * *

The next two days are hectic for Lesego and her father, with him having to shuttle back and forth between the farm and home to finalise arrangements. Fate often steps in, and there is a cow about to calve, so he urges her to conclude their business by Friday afternoon, not wanting to leave her in the lurch.

At supper on Friday Lesego's mother tells her she will be leaving early the next morning to go to a meeting with all the farmers' wives. They are starting a cooperative to assist struggling people in the Marico area. Her father confirms that they will both be leaving and plan on taking Tiro, her nephew, with them.

Lesego's excitement grows when she realises that this means she can be back in Joburg by midday Saturday, so she can spend some time with Kenneth. But what about Tshepiso? She can't just run off and leave her sister alone. Fortunately Tshepiso informs her that she has already made plans with her friends for that evening, so the two of them can hang out on Sunday if needs be.

Tshepiso is pleased for both Kenny and Lesego that everything seems to be working out.

* * *

Over the following weeks Lesego comes to realise what a romantic Kenneth is – picnic lunches, deep oil massages, flowers, romantic SMSs . . . Their relationship starts to solidify and become serious. She begins to wonder where it's heading, what he intends, and whether she should expect anything more from him than a temporary relationship. She decides not to be a typical woman who obsesses over these things; to go with the flow and see where it takes her.

Knowing herself, Lesego hopes that she will be able to cope with the kind of emotional demands a man like Kenneth would make. She realises that can be quite a challenge.

Her burgeoning business puts an extra spring in her step as she begins to make plans to hand her responsibilities as head writer over to a colleague. Her boss wouldn't hear of letting her go and asked her to stay on as a part-time story consultant.

Everything is looking rosy and Lesego couldn't be happier.

* * *

Lesego wakes up early one morning, opens her eyes and looks at Kenneth who is fast asleep next to her. The gentle sunlight shines on his skin and she marvels at how dashing he is. She remembers that she is supposed to take her car in for a service today and that she was trying to get hold of Joy all of last night to remind her friend to pick her up and drop her off. But, as usual, it is near impossible to get hold of Joy when she is involved. Her phone was on voice mail all night.

Naked, she grabs her phone off the side table and goes to sit at the dressing table, calling Joy's number again. Once again it goes straight to voice mail. Lesego sighs, deeply frustrated. She wonders how she will do this and whether the service centre will drop her off at work. She looks at Kenneth sleeping peacefully and wonders whether she has the guts to ask him at such short notice to drop her off. Would he see her as a scatterbrained woman and think this is the beginning of him having to take care of her?

Lesego decides she can figure this out herself. The service centre is not too far from work and if they won't drop her, as most do, she can get a taxi back to the office. She checks her purse and finds she has R100 left. She could swing it, but all the business expenses and small family emergencies have eaten into her finances, and she knows she is on an even tighter budget because of what she has to achieve this month. The money from the project will only start coming in at the beginning of the following month. If it could have come in this month, or if she could have waited until next month to have her car serviced, things would have worked out.

She sighs. She knows the motor plan will be jeopardised if she doesn't take the car in when it is due. They do give people some grace, but she just can't take that chance. She will just have to use the money and hope that God will provide from somewhere. She sits there, looking blindly into the mirror, deep in thought, trying not to get anxious, wondering whether she is making the right decision.

Kenneth wakes and reaches for Lesego who is not there, opens his eyes and finds her sitting at the dressing table looking stressed.

“Morning, baby,” he says. “What are you doing all the way over there so early in the morning? Come back to bed; I miss you.”

“Morning, Kenny. We need to get up. I have to take my car in for a service today.”