Love's Image (22 page)

A combination of dread and panic flooded Shannon. “That was all set up.”

“Are you saying you didn’t try to get back with Armand?”

“No, that wouldn’t be true. But the old feeling I once had for Armand just wasn’t there. It was all for publicity. My agent arranged for Armand and me to be seen together every chance she got.”

“I don’t know if Judd will believe that,” Janie told her.

“He has to.”

“You know, I feel sort of bad about this whole thing because I brought you to the group.”

“You regret that?”

Janie put her fork down, pushed away from the table, and looked Shannon in the eye. “This is hard for me to say, Shannon, but I have to. We’ve known each other too long for me not to level with you.”

“Just say it.”

“When I saw you on TV, I felt like I’d been used. You needed someone after your accident. Then once you were all better, you ran back to New York. You didn’t need us anymore.”

“Used?” Shannon pointed to herself. “You think I used you?”

Shaking her head, Janie replied, “I don’t know what to think. After listening to you now, I’m not sure.”

That hurt more than anything Janie could have said. Shannon had never used anyone in her life. But then again, she couldn’t blame Janie or any of the rest of them. At least she knew what she was up against now.

“I’ll prove to you and everyone else I’m sincere,” Shannon said as Janie stood at the door.

“You don’t have to prove anything to us. Just remember, we have flaws, and we don’t always see things for how they really are.”

“How well I know.” Shannon hugged Janie, then watched out the window as her friend walked to her car.

Early the next morning, after Shannon came in from her morning run, she showered, dressed, and headed for her parents’ house. Maybe her mother would understand now.

“Shannon, I’m still not happy about this. You’re giving up way too much to suit me.”

“That’s not why I came, Mom.”

“I called Melinda earlier this week. I think she’ll take you back if you call and tell her you had a brief spell of insanity.”

“That’s not what I want.”

Sara leveled her with a glare. “Then you’re making a huge mistake, and I’m afraid you’re on your own this time. I can’t keep fixing your problems, Shannon. Not when you intentionally sabotage your own career.”

As Shannon left her parents’ house, she felt more alone than at any other time in her life. Without her mother giving her support and Janie not completely trusting her, she felt like she had to go out on a limb without a safety net below.

Once back in her apartment, Shannon pulled the drapes, turned on a light, and pulled out her Bible. She shut her eyes and prayed for guidance and the ability to overcome all doubt from her friends. She wanted to let them know she was sincere. Now that she knew Christ, her entire perspective had changed.

Before she went to bed, she called Janie. “Please stop by in the morning.”

Janie groaned. “You know I have to work in the morning.”

“Then get up half an hour earlier, and I’ll have coffee and a pastry for you.”

“Okay, if it’s that important to you.”

“It is.”

“I never thought I’d see this,” Janie said as they sat sipping coffee the next morning in Shannon’s apartment. “Especially after you went back to New York.”

“Everything changed for me once the Lord came into my life.”

“Yeah, that happened with me, too.” Janie set her coffee mug down on the table. “I believe you now, Shannon, but you can’t blame Judd for being guarded.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“I guess you just have to give him time.”

“That’s all I can do.”

After Janie left for work, Shannon straightened her apartment. All she could think about was what she and Janie had discussed. If only there were something she could do to make Judd believe her. She had a strong suspicion, verified by Janie, that he cared about her as much as she did him, but he was concerned about her commitment to the Lord, so he continued to guard his heart. She really couldn’t blame him.

When the phone rang, she hoped it was Judd, but it wasn’t. It was Melinda.

“I hate to bother you like this, Shannon,” she said, her voice cool and emotionless, “but you still have to finish two of your contracts.”

“I thought everything was complete.”

“Everything except a couple of photo sessions and one commercial. As far as I can tell, that’ll be it.”

Shannon blew out a breath of frustration. She’d already given up her lease on the New York apartment, so she’d have to find a place to stay.

“Can you try to schedule it all together?”

“You know how hard that can be,” Melinda replied. “I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all I can ask. Thanks, Melinda.”

“I’ll let you know when you need to be here.”

After she got off the phone, a weary feeling descended over her. Actually, it was more like dread. Just the thought of posing for magazine ads and shooting more commercials wore her out.

A couple of weeks went by, and she still hadn’t heard from Melinda. Maybe she’d managed to get her out of the contract. If she didn’t hear back in a few days, Shannon figured she’d call to make sure.

Her mother was still upset, but she tried not to let it affect her. She understood how much time, money, and energy her mother had put into her career, so she tried to be sensitive. Her father, on the other hand, seemed overjoyed to have her back in town. He’d pulled Shannon off to the side a few times and told her he thought she was making a wise decision.

In the meantime, she hadn’t missed a single Bible study session. That was the one thing in her life in which she found total comfort. Jesus was constant—never changing. He loved her no matter what, and she never ceased to be amazed by the extent of His grace and mercy.

When Judd called and asked if she’d like to get together to prepare for the lesson, Shannon gave him a resounding “Yes!” After she hung up, she danced around her apartment, singing and praising the Lord. Maybe things were looking up between them!

The next day, Shannon got up, went shopping, and came home to get the apartment ready. She wanted it squeaky clean and neat. She even baked cookies.

He walked in and sniffed the air, his expression warm and tender. “Did you bake something?”

Shyness overcame her ability to speak. This had never happened to her before, so she wasn’t sure how to react. As she nodded, a smile found its way to her lips. He grinned right back at her.

“You’re amazing, Shannon.”

“You’re pretty amazing yourself, Judd.” Her voice barely came out in a whisper, so she cleared her throat. “Would you like a cookie?”

“Of course.”

She scurried to the kitchen, then brought out a plate of cookies. His eyes widened. “You baked those?”

“All by myself with these two hands.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?”

Shannon let out a nervous laugh. She was used to praise from her fans, but this was different. This was coming from Judd.

He led the study session. As they went through all the questions in the workbook, Shannon felt his gaze as it lingered on her long after she responded. After they finished the lesson, he closed the book and placed it on the table.

“Shannon, I guess you’ve probably noticed I’ve been acting sort of weird lately.”

“Well, yeah, I have noticed. What can I do?”

He shook his head. “It’s me. I’m dealing with some issues.”

“I understand,” she said. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe she needed to give him a little space to make up his mind to talk to her about his feelings. And she also needed to pray about the relationship. What she wanted and what the Lord had in mind for her might be two entirely different things.

That week’s group Bible study went extremely well. She and Judd contributed more than most of the others, which gave her a great feeling because they’d been so far behind in the beginning.

As they were gathering their things to leave, Janie came up to her and gave her a hug. “I’m so happy to see you deeply immersed in the Word.”

Shannon hugged her back. “Thanks for leading me here.”

“It wasn’t me.” Pointing her finger upward, Janie reminded her, “He did it all. I’m just the vehicle.”

Judd watched Shannon as she animatedly chatted with Janie. Every time he looked at her, his heart rate increased. And when she looked back at him, he felt like he could jump over the moon. It wasn’t just infatuation, either. He was in love.

When he’d first met Shannon McNab, his reaction was the same as any other male. Her beauty stunned him. With the exception of the scar from her accident, she seemed perfect. If anything, her beauty was a turnoff to him. He was so far from perfect, he didn’t want any part of a relationship with a woman who’d make all his flaws more obvious. Then, as he got to know her, he’d learned some of her imperfections, and that was when he started falling in love. As confident as Shannon seemed, he knew she had some insecurities. That made him love her even more, and he wanted to protect her. He’d also learned that her modeling career hadn’t been her idea. She was living her mother’s dream, something else that endeared her to him. She wanted her mother to be happy—even going so far as to center her whole life around it.

But the one thing that excited him most was, just as his own faith had begun to grow, he was able to witness the same thing happening to Shannon. Her love for the Lord was evident on her face and in every action. She was truly dedicated and loyal to her faith.

When she’d gone off to New York after her scar had healed, he had to face the possibility that he’d only been a temporary distraction for her while she was healing. Her return had surprised him. At first, hope welled inside him that possibly she was here to stay. But what if she left again and he had to go through the emptiness he’d felt the first time she’d gone? Could he deal with that?

Janie had tried to talk to him, saying Shannon was sick of modeling. He heard her words, but he didn’t want to take them to heart.

What if she was right? Did he dare take a chance and allow the love he felt for Shannon to show?

All his life, Judd had wanted the security of a stable home and being surrounded by people who knew him and loved him no matter what. He’d resorted to being the class clown in school, which helped him as a teacher. He knew what made children tick, and he could handle those kids who acted out for attention because he’d once been one of them. His knack for working with children and his love for reading and the English language had earned him a dream position in an excellent school. His aunt and uncle had provided him with a roof over his head while he saved money for a down payment on a house. And through his uncle, he’d found a fabulous group of friends he knew had good hearts and the desire to live in a way that was pleasing to Christ. What more could a man ask for?