Love's Sacrifice (5 page)

“Thank you, no one has ever giving me flowers.” She smelled them.

He chuckled. “And no one better until you’re like thirty.”

“Really, Mr. Cody.” She giggled. “Mom said I could start dating at sixteen.”

“She did?” He cocked an eyebrow. “Sweetheart, you can call me Cody,” he mentioned again.

“It’s disrespectful not to say mister or ma’am to an adult.” She glanced at her mother. “Right, Mom?” Shon shook her head, and Michele grabbed Shon’s flowers too. “I’ll put them in a vase.” She walked out of the living room and into the kitchen.

“She’s beautiful,” Cody stared at her retreating form. “We did good.”

“Yes, we did.”

Cody strolled up to her. “I was so mad at you today, and I’m still pissed.” He caressed her chin. “But I thought about it, and I get where you were coming from. I still don’t like it. Babe, you had years to tell me.”

“I was afraid,” she gazed at him, “at your reaction.”

His brows met in confusion. “To Michele?”

“No, to me…” her voice cracked. “I was afraid you would hate me.”

“Shony,” he moved closer, “I could never hate you.”

“Me neither, Mom,” Michele’s voice echoed in the room. “I will always love you to infinity and beyond.”

“To the moon and back.” Shon strolled over to her daughter and hugged her tight.

“You grown ups are too complicated for me.” She placed her index finger to her lips. “I wonder, can I stay a kid?” She giggled. “Mr. Cody, are you ready to eat dinner?”

“Yes, it smells delicious.” He followed them.

“It’s your favorite, spaghetti and meat balls,” Michele pulled out his chair for him. “It’s my favorite too.”

He watched their daughter and pulled out the seat for her. She sat, and he gently pushed her in, and then he repeated the same with Shon.

Cody sat at the head of the table. He grabbed the fork and was about to dig in.

“Wait, you can’t eat without blessing the food,” Michele voiced.

Shon stared at him. “She’s right.”

“Mr. Cody, can you say grace?” Michele asked.

He placed the utensil down on the table. Michele grasped Shon’s and Cody’s hands in hers. They bowed their heads, and Cody said a prayer. “Dear God, we come to you together as a family, asking you to bless the food we are about to eat… Lord, thank you for my many blessing, and for giving me the chance to meet my little girl… Amen.”

“Amen…” they said in unison.

During dinner, Michel bombarded Cody with questions.

“Are your parents still alive? So, when can I meet my grandma and grandpa? Do you have brothers and sisters? Are you moving to be closer to me? Will I be able to visit you? What’s your favorite color, sports…” She went on and on.

Cody handled her with care and understanding, answering each and every question she had.

“Mr. Cody, I like you,” Michele stated.

His chuckle was deep. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I do too.” Michele picked up his hand and kissed it. “You are my dream come true. I finally have my very own dad. I don’t have to call Mr. Devon anymore.”

It finally hit Shon. Her daughter was searching for a father figure. When they spoke about her father, Michele always brushed it off, saying she didn’t need one. Shon knew now it wasn’t true. She yearned for her own dad.

“Well, now you have me, and you can call me anytime you want.” Cody squeezed her hand.

“You promise?” She stuck out her pinky finger.

“I promise.” He entwined his finger with hers and pulled.

They finished eating, and Michele grabbed their plates, placing them in the dishwasher. “Mr. Cody… do you want to see the flowers I planted in memory of my grandpa?”

He arched his eyebrow.

“My dad past away three years ago,” Shon stood up and ambled over to the kitchen counter.

“I’m so sorry.” She could hear the sincerity in his voice.

His cell phone rang, and he dug into his pocket to retrieve it. “Hello.” His smile grew. Whoever was on the phone, must have made his night. “Michele, do you want to speak to your grandparents?”

Michele’s grin couldn’t get any bigger. “Yes…” He handed her the phone. “Hello…” she began talking and then headed toward her room.

“She’ll be on that phone for a long time,” Cody mentioned.

“You’ve made her summer.” Shon strolled over to the living room and sat on the suede sofa.

“I want to spend as much time as I can with her.” He sat next to her.

“Why don’t you stay here instead of the hotel?” Shon asked, knowing the implications of her offer. If anyone found out, she would be in trouble, but right now she didn’t care. Michele and Cody needed to spend time together, bond as father and daughter, something they should’ve done years ago. Cody eyed her. “You’ll get to spend your free time getting to know her.”

“Yes.” He smiled. “I would love that, but what about your neighbors?” Cody inquired.

“I don’t think we can keep this secret for much longer. It’s going come out. I can’t hide the fact that I have a child with you. If someone asks, I will tell them the truth; that you’re staying with your daughter. I know it will be frowned upon; but, we are not crossing that line, it’s the truth.” Shon leaned back against the pillow. “It’s been such a long day.”

“Yes, it has. I’ll spend the night at the hotel, and I’ll bring my things over after work.” He leaned back on the pillows too.

“I’ll set up the family room for you.” She observed him.

“The family room?”

“Yes, we only have two bedrooms, and I’m not giving mine up.” Shon chuckled. “The couch in the family room is really comfortable, and I can get you one of those cheap portable closets.”

“As long as I’m spending time with my daughter, I don’t care where I stay.” He stared at her. “Where does she go for the summer?”

“The youth center down the road.” Shon sat on her legs. She was still nervous being around him. He was taking this better than she thought he would. She could’ve called, emailed, or messaged him. Shon knew she could find out where he was stationed at any time, if she wanted to, but she decided not to. “Why?”

“I can take her and pick her up.” Cody’s fingers inched up her calves. “She’s a smart kid.”

“She is.” She closed her eyes, enjoying his touches. He was giving her goose bumps. “Michele has a mouth on her.” She started laughing. “She told me a little boy asked her what race was she, black or white? Because of the color of her eyes, and her answer was I am me… I’m not a color. I’m a human being and then walked away. I had to give her a high five.”

“Does she get that a lot?” Cody’s voice changed; he sounded protective.

“No, kids will be kids.” She opened her eyes, staring at him. “Michele can handle her own, Cody. She told me she’s African-American or Caucasian when she wants to be and sometimes Hispanic.”

Now it was him chuckling. “Smart girl. She takes after her mother.”

“Oh yes, she does.” Being with Cody like this was what she really wanted; she was just too afraid to reach out and grab it. She hadn’t seen Michele this happy in a while. Why couldn’t they just be happy and forget about the consequences?

“Shon, I still love you.” He tickled her feet with his fingers.

“I’ve never stopped.” She gazed at him.

“We will make this work… I will make this work, because I’m not losing you or Michele again.” He leaned forward, feathering a kiss on her lips. Cody backed away and saw the albums Michele had set out on the coffee table for him to see.

“Those are her albums.”

Cody grabbed the one closet to him and opened it. The first item in the book was the card that read, it’s a girl. It said,
Baby Blake
, followed by her newborn picture. “Five pounds, seven ounces.” Cody cleared his throat. “My baby.” He gently moved his finger over each picture. “She still looks the same.”

“Yes… yes she does.” Shon lowered her feet to the hardwood floor and stood. Cody needed this time by himself. She could see him getting emotional; he cleared his throat a couple of times and sniffed. She ambled away, and he didn’t even notice. Cody was too busy looking at the pictures and reading every note in the books. He was a proud father; she was so wrong for keeping the truth from him. She prayed he could forgive her one-day.

Chap
ter Five

Two weeks later
…

Cody slept on the sofa, when he felt small, soft hands shake his feet.

“Mr. Cody…”

His eyes fluttered open, staring into his daughter’s bright eyes. “Yes.” He rubbed his eyelids, trying to focus. Sleeping on the couch was uncomfortable for a man his size, but he didn’t mind as long as he got to spend time with his little girl.

“Are you taking me to summer camp today?”

“Yes.” Cody sat up.

“I was wondering…” She twisted her hands together. “Can you join me today? They are having a father, daughter thing, and I wanted you to come.”

She stared into his eyes, making him feel like shit. He couldn’t make it; he had to wrap up one of his inspections at the command. Why didn’t she ask him sooner? “I’m so sorry, Michele. I have something very important to take care of at work.”

Michele’s features changed, and her lips turned down at the corners. “I understand.” She backed away from him.

Cody reached out and circled her wrist with his hand. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“It’s okay.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “I have to get dressed.” She moved out of his embrace. Her shoulder dropped as she ambled to the back of the house to her room.

“Shit…” Cody uttered quietly. He stood and grabbed his uniform out of the portable closet Shon had bought for him. The family room had become his temporary bedroom. He strolled over to the bathroom and got dressed.

***

Cody knocked on her open office door.

“Come in,” Shon answered with her back turned to him.

“Senior Chief Blake.”

He must have startled her, because the papers she had in her hands hit the floor. She bent down, retrieved them, turned in her leather chair, and stared at him. “Good morning, Lieutenant Commander Mitchell.”

Cody stayed in the same house, but he hardly spoke to Shon. They had little contact since he’d looked through the albums. All three of them would sit down every night to have dinner, that’s where the conversation between them ended. She would help Michele clean up the kitchen then excuse herself, giving him time to get to know his daughter. He had to admit he was still fucking angry at Shon; she kept his child away from him, and that wasn’t something he could easily get over. He still loved her and wanted a future with her and Michele, but he needed more time to work through her betrayal.

“Good morning.” He closed the door behind him once he crossed the threshold. “Why didn’t you tell me Michele was having a father, daughter thing at the youth center today?”

Shon arched her eyebrow. “I didn’t know. She didn’t mention it to me.”

He sat down in the chair in front her desk and entwined his fingers. “She asked me this morning.”

Shon lowered her head, not being able to meet his eyes. He could tell she was still nervous around him, maybe of what he would say.

“I told her I would always be there whenever she needed me.” He gazed at Shon. “And the first thing she asked me, I had to decline. I feel like shit.”

Shon pushed back in her seat. “Welcome to my world.”

“Huh?”

“Cody, do you know how many birthdays I’ve missed?”

“How many?” He really wanted to know.

“I’ve missed five of her birthdays, because I was either on duty, out to sea, or on deployment.” She scratched her head. “I missed so many special occasions, like recitals, dances, plays, things that mean so much to a little girl. Thanksgiving and even Christmas.” Her eyes watered. “It’s the sacrifice we made when we decided to serve our country.”

“I’m sorry you have to sacrifice your time with our daughter.” He couldn’t imagine how it would feel not being there when she would need him the most. The tone in Shon’s voice let him know she still hurt for all the times she had to leave Michele.

“Now, I’m home.” She wiped at her eyes. “I’ve been with her without leaving going on three years, and I love every second of it.” She looked away from him. “I get to see her grow into a beautiful young lady. It hurts having someone else raise your baby when you’re gone, to see the effect your choices make on your family. Thank God my mom was here when I wasn’t. I don’t think I could’ve made it if it wasn’t for her.”

“Remind me to thank Mrs. Irene.”

She gave him a genuine smile. “I will.”

He stared at her. “Why didn’t you get out?”

“To what, Cody?” She leaned forward. “All I have is an associate’s degree.”

“Shon, you would get hired based on your Navy experience; you’re a Senior Chief, that’s way up the enlisted chain, almost at the very top,” he stated in a firm voice.

“Cody…” she whispered. “Do you know how much it means to me that I made it this far as a single mother, as a woman period?” Tears started falling down her beautiful, brown cheeks. “I never thought I would make it past First Class and look at me now. I have made my daughter proud. I know we missed out on a lot of things and people judge me because of it. Though, they don’t know what’s in my heart. I am proud to serve in the US Navy, and I am also proud to be a mother. As a woman, I can have both, and I accomplished what I set out to do. We—as women and African Americans—have come so far in the military and the civilian world. If I quit now, then why did I make all those sacrifices?” She stood. “Cody … I made a mistake, a horrible mistake, keeping her from you. I dug a hole and every time I wanted to get out, it got deeper. One year turned to twelve years, and when I saw you in the club, I told myself, this is it… tell him, but one thing turned into another, and once again we ended up in bed together.”

“And?”

“I was afraid.” Shon watched out the window.

“With good reason.” Cody rose. After listening to her, he now understood. In his eyes she was a great mother. She did what she did for her family. “I know how I get when I’m angry. I don’t want to talk; I throw stuff. Still in this case, I think you should’ve made the exception. Michele needed me all those months you were away. Maybe she could’ve been with me.”

“What if you were away too?”

He hadn’t thought about that. She was right, being a parent in the military wasn’t going to be easy.

“I did what I thought was best, and in the end, it wasn’t.” She twisted around, observing him. “I know this is hard, but can you please forgive me?” Shon finally looked into his eyes.

Cody wanted to wrap his arms around her to console her, but they were one, in uniform and secondly, in her office.

“Shon, I’m going to be honest with you. Right now, I can’t forgive you.” He marched up to her and wiped at her tears with his finger. Leaning down and kissing her was not an option. “I promise I’m working on it. You gave me a beautiful, intelligent daughter, and that’s a start.” He stepped back from her. “I love you, and dammit I still want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.”

Shon just stood there, watching him with shiny eyes.

“Senior Chief.” Someone opened the door without knocking and entered her office.

“IT1 Brown! How many times have I told you, if the freaking door is closed, knock!” she yelled at the sailor.

IT1 studied Cody and then Shon, shaking her head and was about to turn around.

“What was it?” Shon’s voice became louder.

“Lieutenant Barkley needed your assistance.” She smirked, gazing at Cody. “I can tell him you’re busy doing someone else.”

“Excuse me!” Now it was Cody who raised his voice. “What did you just say?”

“I apologize, Sir.” Petty Officer Brown’s voice rattled. “What I meant to say was, I can tell him you are in a meeting with someone else.”

“That won’t be necessary. I will be right out,” Shon responded coldly.

“IT1 Brown,” Cody read her nametag. “Next time, think about what you’re going to say before it leaves your mouth.”

“Yes, Sir.” She rushed over to the door, “Excuse me,” and gently closed it.

“She hates me.” Shon picked up a pen and pad. “I made Chief, and then Senior Chief before her. I’ve tried to help her, but she refuses to listen to me, doing the opposite of what I advise; she just does things her way. I can’t help the unwilling.”

“Well that’s stupid.” He moved out of her way so she could walk to the exit. “If she wanted it as bad as you did, she would be a chief or senior chief by now.”

Shon smiled. “You always find a way to make me feel better.” She opened the door and strolled out with her head held high.

***

Cody strolled up to the Youth Center and was caught off guard when he saw Michele sitting on the stairs with her arms around her bent knees, her head down, and a counselor sitting next to her.

The woman patted his daughter on her back. “Stop whining and come back in.”

Michele nodded her head.

“Michele,” Cody called out, making the counselor look his way, and his little girl peered up with red-rimmed eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Dad!” Michele jumped up and ran into his arms, hugging him. “You came.” Her grip got tighter. “You came.”

Cody’s heart flittered when she called him dad, hugging her back. “You invited me right?” He chuckled softly.

“But you said you weren’t coming,” she said against his chest.

“You come first.” He pulled her away, gazing into her red, blood shot eyes. “Why were you crying?”

The counselor stood, observing his uniform and rank. She extended her hand. “Good Morning, Sir. I’m Susan, one of Michele’s summer teachers here.”

He shook her hand. “Hi, Susan. I’m Michele’s dad, Cody.” He released her hand and took Michele’s hand in his.

He could tell Susan was uneasy when he grabbed his daughters hand in his. “I’m sorry Sir, but I haven’t seen you before. I didn’t know she had…” She watched Michele, not finishing her sentence. “She’s been coming to this center for years.”

Cody sighed, staring at the lady. Was she really going to say she didn’t know Michele had a father? How the hell does that happen—sperm, egg, fertilize. He understood the woman was doing her job by making sure he
was
who he said he was, but she was going about it the wrong way. Right now, he wanted to know why his daughter was upset. “Michele, why were you crying?”

Michele finally smiled, beaming up at him. “Because I wanted you here today. Most of the kids have their dads here. I wanted to show off my awesome dad for once.”

Cody’s heart swelled, and his smile couldn’t get any bigger. “Well, I’m here now, and I want to show off my amazing daughter.”

“Sir, are you on the list of family members or friends that can pick her up?” Susan crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t just let anyone have contact with our kids.”

“Ms. Susan, this is
my
dad.” Michele took a possessive stance in front of Cody. She dug in her back pocket and grabbed her cell. “I’m calling my mom.”

“Michele, you don’t have to call Shon.” Cody started marching up the stairs.

“Sir, you can’t enter the premises.”

Cody stopped, turning around to meet her stare. “Instead of asking me all these questions, why don’t you ask me for my ID and go check to see if I am on the list?”

The lady’s lips thinned, and she rushed past him up the stairs.