Love's Story (50 page)

“Shhh,” she whispered kindly. She looked down at the toddler, who had seemed to be her only friend during recent times. Suddenly, it all came clear to her as she thought about those simple words she had heard time and time again:
“For God so loved…”

It was as though she were hearing the words for the first time.
God loves me more than I could ever love this child.
She looked into his beautiful, enormous light blue eyes.
He doesn't want to see me hurt any more than I wanted to see Seth drown in the lake that day. Is such a love possible?
Rachel needed time to think.

“Seth, go see your mommy, honey.” Rachel handed the boy to his mother, stood as the sermon was ending, and dashed out the door. She didn't stop until she'd reached the familiar, ancient oak tree near the lake. She dropped to her knees without worrying about her gown, clasped her hands together, and sobbed in deep remorse, aware for the first time how empty her life had been over the last few months. Not because she was in Searsville, but because she had been living life without the Lord.

Dearest Father in heaven, You have shown me today how selfish and repulsive I have been. My thoughts about Gretchen Steele just sicken me. I'm beginning to see how You have kept me safe and among people who would take care of me… and all I've done is complain about them not being the right people. I've been so angry because Your will was not the same as mine. First, I was so angry at Marshall for sending me away, but I would have never known how much I love to teach if he hadn't done that. Then You sent me to live with Maria, who I thought simply a religious zealot. Now I know her for the kind-hearted, generous person she is, a woman who shares some of my background and struggles. She, too, was sent away from her only family. She was the focus of evil gossip. And yet she never left Your side. Why couldn't I see that before? You provided an example for me, a foundation for me. You have been faithful, asking only that I believe that You sent Your Son to die for me. Yet I was so proud; I thought You only wanted to hurt me. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to learn this lesson; I've been so hardened. Thank You for Pastor's message, thank You for Seth showing me the way, and thanks especially for Your Son. Please forgive me in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Rachel felt immediately at peace, knowing once again what it felt like to be reconciled to God. She knew her heart would have to continually be before the Lord in prayer, for her jealous feelings over Gretchen Steele and Chase Dylan had diminished only slightly.

Chase had made a point to attend services after his Christmas Day discussion with Gretchen. Although he'd planned to stay in Portola through the winter, he didn't want Gretchen to think it was to avoid her. He was speaking with Pastor Swayles when Gretchen approached him. “Gretchen, what a pleasure to see you. Did you enjoy the sermon?” Chase bid the pastor good-bye and took the widow aside.

“Yes, Chase, I did, thank you. I appreciated it very much,” Gretchen answered honestly.

“How are you feeling?” Chase asked with deep concern for his friend. He was pleased she had not avoided him.

“I'm fine, Chase. Really. I wanted to thank you for being the voice of reason for me the last time we spoke.” Gretchen's voice was calm and even.

“That's what friends are for, Gretchen.”

“And we are friends, aren't we? I'm very thankful for that.” The peace behind her words was new to Chase, and he wondered what had happened after their confrontation. “Henry and I are having our very own New Year's Eve party tonight. We're going to ring in 1864 with style,” Gretchen said happily, gesturing with her arms expressively.

“That's wonderful, Gretchen. I hope you both have a wonderful time. I'll see the two of you Tuesday when I pick up Henry.”

“We're looking forward to it,” she replied. Chase was intrigued by the woman standing before him. Never since Harold's death had he seen Gretchen so happy or content.

“Miss Phillips, are you okay?” Her eyes full of concern, Veronica Smith, the young bride, had interrupted Rachel's prayer alongside the lake.

“Yes, Veronica. Thank you, I'm fine.” Rachel rose quickly, dusting off her skirt and sniffing away her tears.

“I've been meanin' to drop by and speak with you, but I've been a little afraid.”

“Whatever do you mean, Veronica?”

“Do you remember when I told you that I wouldn't be alone because Jeremiah would be workin' for Chase Dylan?”

“Yes, of course I do. And how is Jeremiah?”

“I'm embarrassed to say it, but he's been workin' for Mr. Hopper since Chase left for Redwood, and I seldom see him.” Veronica's voice sounded more mature and it seemed marriage had actually been good for the young woman. Gone was the ever-present childish whining Rachel remembered.

“I'm very sorry to hear that, Veronica.” Rachel was sorry, but didn't understand why Veronica would confide such information in her.

“I'm living with my folks right now, until Chase begins running his mill next week. But I was wonderin' if you would lend me some books to bide my time.”

“Books?” Rachel was caught off guard. First, her mind was thrown into a whirlwind at the mere mention of Chase being back at work in Portola. She thought of him in his dark, sturdy work pants and torn mill shirt. Second, she questioned Veronica's sudden penchant for learning. Veronica had always been bright, but rarely had any initiative for education.

“Yeah, I was thinkin' since I'm not really being a full-fledged wife, I might as well be learnin'. I was thinkin' a book on sums…”

Rachel regained her composure. “That's very good thinking indeed, and I think Jeremiah will be very proud of you for your efforts.”

Veronica smiled at the mention of her husband. “We're savin' to buy a place of our own, and the more I know my numbers, the better we'll be able to budget.”

Rachel was impressed with the new Veronica Smith.
Jeremiah must be quite a man to have such a positive affect on this young woman.
“That sounds like very mature thinking to me.” Veronica grinned broadly, and the two women made arrangements to exchange the books.

New Year's Eve in Searsville was a ruckus that reminded Rachel of her days in the gold country. Gunfire was plentiful, and the whoops and hollers of drunken men kept law-abiding citizens indoors.

“I dare say this town gets crazier every year,” Maria said as she anxiously knitted a small bootie.

“I wouldn't worry too much. From the sound of things, tomorrow will be a very quiet day in Searsville,” Robert said, laughing. “Their problem is, it takes them a whole year to forget how much they drank the year before.”

Rachel rose from her parlor seat. “Seth's asleep by now. I'm going to write a letter to my mother. Good-night.” She headed for her bedroom with her lamp.

R
achel returned after the holidays eager to share the Lord with the children. She had been in constant prayer since Pastor Swayles's message about Christ and planned to speak to the children each and every day about their foundation in the Lord. “Today, children, we're reading from Hebrews, chapter four, verse fifteen: ‘For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.' This means Christ was able to bear all temptations without falling into sin. Is it possible for us to do that?”

“No,” sung the class.

“It may not be possible, but with Christ that's not necessary. He will clothe our unrighteousness. Is there anyone here today who hasn't asked Christ to dwell in his heart, but would like to do so?” Rachel would repeat the offer daily after her Bible lesson, making sure her class was well versed in the road to salvation, just as she'd promised to do when she accepted her role as Searsville's teacher.

Chase had a light step as he strolled along to pick up Henry for their first time together in two months. The chilled evening air was refreshing, and Chase was looking forward to his new relationship with Henry's mother. Gone would be the tension that had been present since Harold's death.

“Henry!” Chase shouted as the small boy came rushing out the doorway into his arms.

“Chase, Mama and me are movin' by the train,” Henry explained enthusiastically. Chase's lightheartedness suddenly left him, and he took the news like a blow to the stomach.

“Moving?” He looked to the doorway where Gretchen stood, an approving expression upon her face. Putting Henry down, he walked tentatively toward her. “What's this about, Gretchen?”

“Henry, why don't you go see what Jackson's up to in the stable. Maybe he'll let you give Clarabel an apple,” Gretchen directed, and Henry obediently did as he was told. “Why don't you come in? I've made some coffee and apple pie.”