Love's Vengeance (29 page)

Desiree returned minutes later to find Stephen standing at the balcony doors, leaning against the jam, watching out at the cove. He sensed her presence and walked to the door, opening it, “After you.” He swept an arm before him in a stinted bow and Desiree preceded him, without comment.

***

The two walked side by side down the winding staircase and to the front room, where Red waited. Desiree moved to stand next to him at the desk and his eyes lowered to her small bundle of belongings. She gently placed a hand upon his shoulder.

“I have decided I will go with Captain Colter, Red. I miss my maid terribly and wish to be with her. I will wait at Captain Colter’s home, until I hear from you.”

The merry green eyes framed in light lashes, gazed into hers warmly, “Aye Lass, I think that be for the best. Fear na’ I will find a way to end yer plight.” He patted her hand reassuringly.

Stephen watched the two and he felt a tug at his heart. He was envious of their closeness—a closeness he had once shared with her and he felt the full weight of his loss.

“Red I don’t know how I could ever repay you for the kindness you have shown me. I shall never forget you.”

Desiree’s voice was soft and Stephen sensed she would rather he not hear. He moved across the room, looking once more out to the cove, allowing them privacy.

“Lass, we shall meet again. I be comin’ to the Bermuda’s afore ye know it to give ye news and ye be welcome ‘ere always, ye know that don’t ye?”

“
Merci
Red.” She squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek while his arms came about her for a moment, patting her back.

Stephen turned, seeing the affectionate embrace and could see that look in the pirate’s eyes—the devotion and love. She spun webs about every man’s heart without even an idea it was happening, he thought. But only he knew that beneath that loving exterior lay a woman of fiery passion and yet—for this hidden secret he alone possessed, he had lost all else that this man and so many others still enjoyed of her and his jealousy raged silently. Desiree turned to face him with tears glistening in her eyes and nodded that she was ready to go.

Just outside the front door, leaning at the railings of the porch, were a gathering of men. On the walk, wide-eyed children gazed at Desiree as she slowly walked out the door with Stephen and she smiled sweetly at them all.

“Ye be off then?” Mac pouted, looking past her to Stephen.

“
Oui
I must.”

“We’ll be missin’ ye Lass.”

Desiree rushed into his arms with an affectionate hug and he smiled brightly when she placed a kiss upon his cheek. She pulled back and then saw O’Malley leaning against the railing as he stood upon the steps, smiling sheepishly. She was in his arms next with a hug and a kiss. She touched the small gold and pearl pendant about her neck.

“Thank you so much for this O’Malley. I shall treasure it always.”

“And thank ye Lass, for giving me the wonderful day that went with it.” He winked, his gray eyes merry.

With a dazzling smile, a hug here, a touch of hands there, she bid farewell to her captors, while Stephen hung back taking it all in. She scampered down the steps and the children approached her. She knelt upon the walk and opened her arms to them and they embraced her with kisses and she hugged each in turn. She stood once more, stroking little heads and looked up at Stephen. He joined her on the walk and with shouts of farewell; the children and the pirates followed along as they walked toward the beach.

At the beachhead, Ham’s face lit up when he saw Desiree and Stephen in the crowd of sailors. Ham shook his head with a chuckle, “Looks as though the lady has tamed the entire isle.” He whispered aloud in amazement.

“
Bon jour
Ham.” Desiree called brightly.

“Hello Miss.” He beamed.

Stephen held out his arms at the water's edge and to avoid walking through the surf, Desiree allowed him to scoop her up and set her gently within the sloop. The boat was pushed free by many helpful hands and Stephen along with Ham leapt aboard. Stephen watched Desiree as she continued to wave to the men on shore and he noticed silent tears course down her cheeks and he couldn’t help but bitterly wish that he could have had just one tear shed for him when he had departed her life not so very long ago.

At the
Windward
, Stephen proceeded up the rope ladder, alighting on deck and Ham tossed Desiree’s bundle up to him. Then with Ham below and Stephen above, Desiree maneuvered up the side of the ship and Stephen took her about the waist, setting her to the deck.

His men were as happy to see Desiree, he noted, as the men on shore were sad to see her go. Most stood about smiling broadly or voicing their relief that she was unharmed.

Davison rushed up, “May I show the lady below Cap?” he asked grinning at Desiree before giving his captain his full attention.

“Yes see to her comfort.” Stephen directed, watching her wave once more to the men on shore. He continued to observe her as she stopped to say a greeting to some of his men and wave shyly at others she passed heading aft until she disappeared below.

Stephen strode to the helm as he ordered, “Secure the sloop Harper. Baker—Carter—weigh anchor. Let’s be about the sheets Ham.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

The light breeze of the late summer morning brought a chill to Desiree as she stood on the main deck, watching the coast of America. Arms folded across her midsection could not still the shivers that possessed her. Her light garb lent nothing to warmth.

Behind her, Stephen observed her for a moment, while bringing his yearning under control. Although her body was clad in the plain garb of a household servant and looked almost childlike, he could see the womanly curve of a slender hip as she leaned against the railing. Her full breasts were bound and restrained in the tight bodice and he knew only too well the treasures hidden beneath the garment and ached with the thought.

Desiree gasped as the warm cloak came about her shoulders and turning, she looked up into Stephen’s eyes.

“I thought you might be in need of this.” He said without expression.

“
Merci
—I’m afraid I am a bit ill-prepared.” Desiree said with a soft smile, her eyes caught in the depths of his.

“Soon we shall be to Portsmouth and you shall have your own articles. Until then, please accept mine in loan.”

He turned and was gone, as abruptly as he had come and Desiree watched him go, finding herself wishing he would return. She turned away from him and looked back out to the land passing by, remembering other times when they would have spoken endlessly.

***

Night closed in and the room was shrouded in shadows. Desiree sat in one of the chairs at the table, reading by candlelight from a book loaned to her by Ham, as she had each night; the soft groaning of the
Windward
her only company. The trip was beginning to grow stressful—interminably long, although they were still early in the voyage back to the colonies. Stephen had been behaving in a very polite, very formal fashion. They avoided one another whenever possible but the conflict was there, just below the surface and she felt that it was building to an inevitable confrontation, sometime soon.

The quiet of her thoughts were interrupted by familiar footfalls in the hall, coming close and stopping outside her door. She held her breath, as if the sound could be heard from without. The steps moved off and she released her breath, causing the flame of the candle before her to quiver.

***

More time passed and still no words had been exchanged. Desiree spoke with some of the crew during her days, telling them of her time on the island and they related their ordeal with the calm, which had delayed their arrival. Each night, after retiring, she would lie in her small berth, wishing she could somehow start a conversation with Stephen to air some of their differences. But could not think of a casual way to do so and she also knew, it could be a painful mistake. Her resentment of him ran deep and churning up the past might only make matters worse.

With each passing night, Stephen would pace about his cabin like a caged cat. The strain was becoming almost too great to bear. He was keeping his distance, avoiding a confrontation but his loneliness for the want of her, was maddening. To have her with him once more and still so distant caused his mind to race feverishly on how to put an end to this misery.

***

Another evening came and once again Desiree perked to footfalls in the hall. Once more they stopped and she waited for them to continue before sighing with relief but this time the steps did not proceed and a light knock upon the door set her heart to racing.

“Who is it?” she called, knowing full well the only person it would be.

“Stephen—may I speak with you for a moment please?”

Desiree closed her book and turned to face the door, “Come in.”

The door closed softly and Stephen leaned against it with a sober expression upon his face, “Desiree—we must have this out at last. I should like to come to some conclusion.”

Desiree wrung her hands nervously in her lap, “I thought we were at a conclusion some time ago Captain.”

“Could I please sit down and discuss this calmly?” he asked, gesturing with his eyes, the chair opposite her.

“No!” she said with more force than intended as her fear of him came upon her. She pointed a trembling finger at him, “That is fine right where you are. Please say what you have on your mind.” Her voice was trembling as much as her body for she was realizing the folly of allowing him admittance too late, for if he were contemplating rape, she would be at his mercy, here in the privacy of the cabin.

Stephen sighed heavily, resting his hands low upon his hips, “How on earth can you be in such fear of me? You know me Desiree! If you would believe it, you know me better than any woman has ever known me.” He shook his head in frustration.

Desiree’s smile was brittle, her anger beginning to flare, overtaking all other emotion, “The fact that I was raped by you not so very long ago must have slipped your mind! So easily forgotten Captain?” she queried snidely, her eyebrows lifting vehemently.

“Oh of course!” he spat, standing away from the door and touching his temples, his voice coming thick with sarcasm and feigned sympathy, “The agony I put you through! Is that it my dear? I'd forgotten how terrible that attack had been!” he flung up a hand, outraged, “Tell me—have your wounds from such abuse healed?”

Desiree could make no reply. Her eyes lowered in embarrassment as she recalled the gentle encounter.

“What passed between us could hardly be named rape! Not by any stretch of the imagination! That argument is becoming rather worn, my sweet but once again I shall remind you, as it seems to have slipped
your
mind, that it turned to a most tender and rewarding encounter for both of us. I doubt very much you suffered physically!” he raised his brows, mocking her—daring her to disagree.

“Stephen I enjoyed the magic we shared that night I admit that—but suffer I have. You took from me that which was my gift alone to give—to the man of my choice. You stole it from me without a thought! You sacrificed the feelings I’d had for you—for your own lust! I had felt at home in your company. I had cared for you—I—I had trusted you!”

“I see—and now you feel you may not do so?”

“Now I feel only fear and mistrust! I don’t want you here—alone with me. I’m quaking inside at the thought you might somehow deceive me again and once more I shall fall victim to you.” She confessed with feeling.

“Deceive you! Never did I deceive you! I wore my longing for you upon my sleeve, where anyone could see it if they would but open their eyes!” he shouted.

“Oh I should have been more observant, I’ll not deny that and suffer I have for that oversight!”

When he chuckled sarcastically, with a shake of his head, Desiree grabbed the book off the table, flinging it at him.

“Don’t you dare laugh at me!” she spat.

He caught the book easily with one hand, glaring at her as she continued.

“Tell me this Captain—did you even care to consider that I might be burdened with your bastard—that I might be growing heavy with your child?”

His eyes narrowed and the anger and sarcasm left his voice as he spoke, “Are you saying you are with child? My child?”

He took a step toward her but Desiree held up her hand as if to hold him away and he halted, “No I assure you I am not. But had that thought crossed your mind before this moment? I think not! You simply sailed away without a care in the world. To you it was merely a pleasant interlude but it was a constant torture for me.”

In spite of her frantic gestures, he came across the space separating them in an instant and placing a hand upon the table, glared down into her eyes, “You are the one who so easily tossed me aside—
not I
!” he roared, slamming the book down upon the table top, setting the candlestick to teetering. “I too had felt a comfort and trust with you Desiree. I made a terrible mistake that night, I admit that but I made love to you—because I care for you! Not to hurt you—but to bring us closer together! You set yourself against me and tore to shreds all that we had shared. I assure you—had you allowed me I would have been at your side even now. Had you found you, indeed, carried my seed, then again I would have been there and if you would have bore a bastard into this world, it would have been over my dead body! Against my better judgment I am going to admit, I have thought of nothing but you since we parted company—unable to rout you from my mind!”

Desiree laughed caustically, determined not to allow herself to be tricked again, “Stephen I am not a fool—please don’t treat me as such! What of the trollop you visited your first night in port? Will you tell me your mind was filled with noble thoughts concerning me as you mounted her form?”

“I must be a fool to put this bit of ammunition within your grasp,” he ground out, “but I never met the wench. I’ve not touched another woman—I could not even attempt such! You have cast your spell upon me and all others pale beside you! I am not a man to go without feminine companionship but go without, I have.”