Loving A Highlander (4 page)

He sighed as if the weight of the world rested upon his strong shoulders.  “Life has a way of changing things.”

Isabella fought the urge to give him a hug.  She wasn’t sure he would welcome it and didn’t want to offend him by offering him comfort like she would a hurting child.

She walked behind him as they entered the cottage.  Her home seemed smaller now that he was here.  It was as if his very essence permeated every nook and cranny and she knew that he would leave a void when he left.

She gave a dry laugh.  In just a short time, Gerard had made more of an impression on her life than Owen had during the years he had lived here.

Isabella turned her back while Gerard changed into his own clothes and busied herself preparing what little food she had left.  Gerard would have to be content with oat porridge, because there wasn’t much else.  The chickens hadn’t laid eggs in weeks.  She was afraid an animal had been creeping around their pen at night and scaring them, but at the moment, it couldn’t be helped.

“What do you want me to do with the clothes you loaned me?”  Gerard held the bundle out to her.

Isabella stared at Owen’s old clothes.  She didn’t know why she had kept them.  She didn’t need nor want a reminder of the man.

“Burn them.”

Gerard arched his brows and looked at her as if he hadn’t heard correctly.  “Pardon?”

“Burn them,” she repeated.  “I don’t want them.”

Gerard shook his head, but didn’t argue.  He tossed them into the fire and then stood back and watched as the flames licked greedily at the material.  It wasn’t long before they were consumed entirely.

He turned back to Isabella, but she refused to meet his eyes.  Instead, she busied herself placing a bowl of porridge on the table. 

Gerard’s stomach rumbled, reminding him that it had been some time since he had eaten.  Briefly he wondered when Isabella took her meals.  She didn’t eat with him and he hadn’t witnessed her partaking of sustenance other times.

Isabella perched on the edge of the bed since he occupied the only chair.  “Why has it been so long since you have returned home?”

Gerard paused with a bite of porridge halfway to his mouth.  He placed the spoon back in the bowl and sighed.  “My mother wasn’t from this part of Scotland.  I was away visiting family.” 

He shrugged.  “Then I saw Lorna.  We had met as children when she stayed at the castle with her family.  She had grown into a beautiful woman.”  

He paused and closed his eyes as if remembering.  "We fell in love fairly quickly and decided to marry.  I brought her back to the castle to live.  After her death, I left.  I needed to get away from the memories that haunted me at every turn.  I traveled far and even put down roots for a time, but it was never home.  It was never in my blood.”

Isabella’s heart jumped at the passion she saw in his eyes.  The passion she knew he had for his family.  For this land.  What would it be like for a man to have that kind of passion for her?

She brushed the thought aside and got up to refill his cup of mead, but was stopped when his fingers closed about her wrist.  She looked at him, eyes wide.

“I meant what I said, Isabella.”  Gerard’s voice was solemn as he looked her in the eyes.  “You are welcome to come with me.  There is plenty of room at the castle and I am sure my cousin and his wife won’t mind.”

Gerard waited and watched her as she thought it over.  He had offered her a choice, but in truth, she didn’t have one.  He wouldn’t leave her here alone.

Isabella chewed on her lower lip as she pondered his words.  The cottage was drafty.  Owen had promised to work on the roof and fill the chinks in the walls, but he had left before the work could be completed.

Her gaze drifted to the cupboard which hung on the wall.  Its door hung slightly ajar and its shelves were mostly empty.  It was true, she wouldn’t have enough food to survive the winter, not by far, and she would be forced to butcher the chickens or starve to death.

“What about the animals?”  Isabella met Gerard’s kind gaze.  “I can’t just leave them.  They will perish without me.”

Gerard chuckled.  “Are you talking about the handful of chickens and the broken down horse I saw out front?”

She nodded.

He shrugged as if it was no concern of his.  “Bring them along.  I noticed you have a cart sitting in the tall grass beside the cottage.  We can hitch my horse to it and tie your horse behind.”

Isabella’s stomach tightened into knots.  This was her home.  She had been born here and had thought she would die here.  She couldn’t imagine leaving it.

“What is troubling you, lass?”  Gerard willed her to look at him.  “I know you will miss your home, but surely you can see you cannot possible stay here?”

Isabella nodded.  There was truth in his words.  There was nothing left for her here but memories.  And a good share of those weren’t pleasant.

He arched a brow.  “So, will you come with me?”

Isabella took a deep breath and met his steady gaze.  “Aye, I will come with you and I thank you,” she said curtly, hating the fact she was forced to rely on him.  Forced to rely on anyone, for that matter.

Gerard chuckled, the husky sound swirling around her.  “Something tells me, lass, in the end, I will be the one thanking you.”

Chapter

Four

A short time later, they were on their way.  The rickety cage with the chickens had been secured inside the cart while her horse plodded along behind.

Isabella sat stiffly on the horse, acutely aware of Gerard’s body heat.  Heat that permeated the thin material of her dress, while his strong arms bracketed her on either side.  In a parcel on her lap, she carried her most prized possession.  The tome containing the herbal recipes that had been passed down through her family for generations. 

“You are welcome to lean against me,” Gerard’s deep voice rumbled in her ear.  “I won’t bite.”

Gerard’s words caused Isabella to sit up even straighter and he laughed softly.  “Easy, lass,” he murmured.  “I won’t hurt you.  You have my word.”

Isabella knew she could trust him.  He wasn’t the kind of man who would harm a defenseless woman.  She couldn’t picture him raising his fists in anger against the innocent, causing them to cower in fear.

She relaxed and soon, lulled by the gently swaying of the horse and the tempting warmth that curled around her, she closed her eyes and slept.

Gerard sighed as he pulled her back against him, securing her in his arms.  He tried to ignore how right it felt.  How perfectly she molded against him as if she had been made for him.

His expression darkened as he pushed the thought away.  There was only one woman who had been made for him and she rested in eternal sleep deep within the earth.

No, this mere slip of a woman couldn’t compete with the memory of his dear wife and he would be wise to keep her at arm’s length.  Tearing his eyes away from her beautiful upturned face, so peaceful in slumber, he made a vow to do precisely that.

Isabella awoke to loud shouts.  The horse had stopped moving and she was being lifted in a pair of strong arms.  She began to struggle, but then realized that the man carrying her was Gerard and they were entering a large stone structure.  He stopped in the Great Hall.  Rushes covered the floor and a fire burned in the fireplace that dominated the far wall.  The room was empty except for a couple of servants and a group of children.

Gerard grinned down at her.  “Hello, lass.  Are you feeling better?”  He placed her on her feet, but then wrapped a strong arm around her when she swayed against him.

Isabella coughed as her lungs filled with the wood smoke that hung in the air, creating a white haze that she had to squint to see through.  Her eyes burned, making her wish for the crisp cool air and open sky.  She had only been gone from her home for a few short hours, but already she missed it and longed for its familiar walls.

A dark haired girl who looked to be around seven bounded up to them, a welcoming smile on her pretty face.  “Gerard!  You came back!”

Gerard laughed as he released Isabella to give the girl a hug.  “Didn’t I tell you I would?”

The little girl wrinkled her nose and frowned.  “Aye, but you have been away a long time.  You missed my last two birthdays,” she said in an accusing tone.

“Aye,” Gerard said solemnly as he crouched down so that he could look the girl in the eyes.  “And I am very sorry.  I didn’t intend to be away for so long.”

He turned to Isabella.  “This is Rowan and Eva’s daughter, Anne.  She is six years old.”

The little girl plopped her hands on her hips and her frown darkened.  “I am not.  I’m seven now.”

Gerard laughed, the action causing the fine lines around his eyes to deepen.  “Aye, so you are, Anne.  My apologies.”  He tugged Isabella forward.  “This lady is Isabella.  She will be a guest here.”

Isabella said hello to Anne, but the girl only studied her before dismissing her with a shrug.  She watched as the little girl skipped off to play with a group of children at the far end of the Great Hall.

A faint smile played about Isabella’s lips.  Gerard had called her a lady.  As if she were on equal footing with him.  In truth, she was as far from being a member of the nobility as was the serving maid who had been watching them before ducking out of sight.

“Gerard!”  A dark haired man strode up to him and slapped him on the back.

Isabella instantly knew that this was the laird.  He had an air of confidence about him.  He was a man who knew his place in the world and the role he played in it.

The man grinned.  “It is about time you decided to come back home.  The training in the lists has been far too easy without your arse to kick.”

Gerard roared with laughter.  “I believe you are confused, cousin.  I seem to remember things a bit differently.”

The man laughed along with him and then shifted his gaze to Isabella.  His dark brows arched.  “Who is this pretty lady?”

Gerard grinned down at her and tugged her closer to his side.  “This is Isabella.  She is a healer.”

Something flickered in the man’s eyes, but then it was gone just as quickly.  “Welcome to my home,” he said, with a slight incline of his head.  “My name is Rowan.  I hope you are comfortable here.”

Isabella looked into the man’s eyes.  She knew from instinct that he didn’t trust her.  That he didn’t trust anyone with the title of healer, but he would be kind to her just the same.

A seasoned warrior, Gerard could sense the tension in the air.  Rowan hadn’t particularly liked the castle’s former healer, but he knew his cousin to be a fair man.  Rowan would give Isabella a chance to earn his trust.

Isabella thanked the laird.  She had heard stories about the previous lairds.  Stories about cruelty and murder that had been passed down through the years.  But the man in front of her didn’t look harsh and she began to think that maybe the stories weren’t true.

“I found Gerard outside of my cottage,” she said.  “He was unconscious and his clothes were soaked from the rain.  I brought him in out of the cold.”

Rowan arched his brows, but amusement twitched his lips.  “Well, then,” he took Isabella’s hand and inclined his head, “I owe you my deepest gratitude.  It isn’t easy putting up with my cousin on his good days.  I shudder to think what it must have been like nursing him back to health.”

The two men stepped aside and quickly became lost in conversation.   “So, what happened, really?”  Rowan folded his arms as he studied his cousin.  “She is a pretty thing, I will give you that.  She should keep your bed nice and warm this upcoming winter.”

Gerard stole a glance at Isabella.  She looked lost and alone standing in the middle of the Great Hall and he fought the urge to pull her into his arms and reassure her that everything was going to be alright.

“I was caught in a thunderstorm a couple of nights ago.”  Gerard’s gaze was steady as he spoke to his cousin.  He frowned as he remembered.  “My horse was spooked by the thunder and I was thrown and knocked unconscious.  Isabella found me and brought me inside her cottage.”

Rowan grinned.  “You always did have a touch with the ladies.  I’m sure you spent a pleasurable night or two.”

Gerard’s frown deepened.  “No.”  He gave his cousin a harsh look.  “Isabella isn’t that kind of woman.  She nursed me back to health, but nothing improper happened between us.”

Rowan shot him a look of surprise.  “Nothing?  I find that hard to believe.  She isn’t a mere slip of a girl, but a woman.  I’m certain she is used to having a man share her bed.”

“Rowan,” Gerard growled, not liking the way his cousin was speaking about Isabella.  “I’m telling you, she isn’t that kind of woman.”

  A slight grin twitched the corners of Rowan’s lips as he tried hard not to laugh.  “I’m sorry, Gerard.  I didn’t realize you have feelings for the lass.”

Gerard glowered.  “I don’t,” he said shortly, as an image of Loran floated through his mind.  Dear, sweet Loran.  What he wouldn’t give to have just one moment with her.  But death was a cruel thing and didn’t discriminate.  It came for the evil people as well as the good and didn’t hesitate to extinguish a life as one would a flickering flame.

Rowan studied him.  “Aye, cousin, I believe you do care about the woman and it is about time.  We were beginning to worry about you.  Years have gone by since Loran’s death, but you still remained deep in mourning.”

Gerard thrust a hand through his thick hair as he thought once again about his late wife.  Loran had been his heart and soul.  His reason for living and he had cursed God for taking her from him.  There had been days he wished he could follow her to the grave and a time or two he had come to the brink of taking his own life, but he had not given in to the deep sadness that enveloped him.

His gaze traveled to Isabella.  She was a spark of light in the darkness that had been his life ever since Loran had passed from this earth.  Did he care about her?  He certainly cared about her welfare and would have spent many nights worrying about her if she had stayed behind.  

Gerard shrugged.  “Isabella is all alone.  Her husband, the worthless cur, left her. I couldn’t leave her in the middle of the forest with no one to watch over her.”

Rowan nodded in understanding.  “Aye, you always did have a big heart, cousin.  I just hope she doesn’t take advantage of your kindness.”

“Isabella wouldn’t do that,” Gerard said softly.  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew that they were true.  Isabella was honest to her core.  Maybe that was part of what drew him to her.  She wasn’t scheming to try and get him to spend money on her.  Unlike most women who, once they found out he was wealthy, devised ways to separate him from his coin.

Rowan chuckled.  “I would tell you to guard your heart, but something tells me it would do no good.  She has already won you over.”

Isabella watched the men as they conversed.  At times they spoke quietly and she wondered if they were speaking about Gerard’s wife and her untimely death.  And at other times, they both looked her way, as if judging her.  It was these times that caused her to squirm and fervently long for her cottage and its familiar four walls.  She didn’t belong here and that fact was becoming increasingly obvious by the minute.

The laird didn’t appear to be the kind of man who looked upon healer’s favorably.  Perhaps he had been harmed by one in the past.  By the frown on his face when he looked in her direction, she knew she had guessed correctly.

Would he turn her out of the castle?  He had welcomed her to his home, but maybe he was having second thoughts.  Isabella thought about her cottage.  She missed it dearly, but knew that Gerard had been correct.  She couldn’t stay there during the upcoming months.  Food would be scarce and most days she would have to go without.  She would be lucky if she survived the winter.

“Would you like some tea?”  A beautiful auburn haired woman appeared by her side.  By the manner in which she was dressed, Isabella wondered if she was the laird’s wife and Anne’s mother.  She didn’t have to wait long for her answer.

“My name is Eva,” the woman said, as they sat down at a table.  She signaled to a serving maid to bring them something to drink and then turned her attention back to Isabella and smiled.  “I am Rowan’s wife.”

Isabella didn’t know what to say to the woman.  What could she say that would possibly be of interest?  “You have a nice home,” she said softly.

The woman laughed.  “Aye, that I do, but from what I hear, this is to be your home now too.”

Isabella frowned slightly.  I believe you husband his having second thoughts.  He has taken a disliking to me.

Eva’s delicate brows arched.  “Rowan?” she said, as she cast a puzzled glance in the direction of her husband.  “I’m certain you misunderstood.  My husband wouldn’t turn away a person in need.”

Isabella was certain the woman’s husband thought differently, but she didn’t want to argue.  It appeared as if she was going to have to make the best of it for the time being.

“You will enjoy living here.”  Eva reached out and patted Isabella’s hand.

“I can’t even imagine it,” Isabella said, as her gaze took in the large room.  She could see a set of stairs through a doorway that must lead to the upper floors.  Her cottage could easily fit twice over inside the Great Hall.  She had been born in the small cottage and raised there and would have been content to spend her entire life within its four walls.

“You will get used to it,” Eva said kindly.  “I did.  At first the castle with its many passageways and rooms seemed daunting, but now it just feels like home.”

She hesitated, but then her smile brightened.  “Home is where the heart is.  As long as you have love, it doesn’t matter where you live.  But the absence of love can make even the grandest of homes seem cold and empty.”

It could make the smallest home seem cold and empty too,
Isabella thought.  A picture of Owen flitted through her mind and she willed it away.  He was in her past and it was best if she left him there.  His presence had brought nothing, but pain and heartache to her and he had done her a favor by leaving.

She self-consciously smoothed her hand over the skirt of her well-worn dress, acutely away that compared to her Eva’s attire, hers was sadly lacking.  “You didn’t grow up in a large home?”

Eva’s expression clouded for a minute, but then cleared.  “No, far from it.  I didn’t grow up wealthy.”  She hesitated.  “And I didn’t grow up here.  There is a lot about this place that seemed strange when I first arrived, but now I can’t imagine living anywhere else.”