Loving a Prince Charming (7 page)

It was only a beat, but his face went from
edge-of-temper to mournful, an old, deep longing shading his eyes
as he stared full deep into hers. “You don’t know why? Will you
really have me speak it aloud? Once the words exist, Kira, we live
with them as a harsh reality instead of a bittersweet thought. Is
that what you want?”

And there it was, where every moment of their
lives led them. It had been inevitable, hadn’t it? No matter how
hard they tried, this had been inevitable.

The fire threw sparks in the air. Her nose
was cold. She rubbed the tip with fingers she only now realized
were even colder. “I want to understand.”

Seth closed his eyes, resigned acceptance in
every line of his face. He opened them only to look up at the
stars. “She was so small and so scared. She’d never seen trees or
touched water from a lake. She was kept separate and alone from
everyone, and she had this fate that she couldn’t fight. No one
would help her. Not her father. Not my father.”

He fiddled with the ring he wore on his
pinkie finger, this way and that, connected to this memory he had
held sacred, reserved only for himself, the one memory she had no
part of.

And yet, how could she hate the little girl
he spoke of? How could she rail against this unfairness when that
child experienced tragedy beyond comprehension? She who had Seth’s
friendship and surrounded by friends and comrades, she half-hated a
girl who had less than nothing. Self-loathing pricked Kira’s skin,
an ooze no amount of scrubbing would remove.

“I made her a promise that day. I promised
her I would not love anyone else, so that she would always be safe
from the curse. This poor little girl, and all she wanted was to be
safe. How could I not save her? I didn’t realize what I…”

Seth broke off. His eyes locked with hers.
They were such a jumbled mass of emotion that Kira couldn’t pull
the feelings apart, all except for one thread. Determination. No
matter the other emotions, no matter the conflict they inspired in
him, his will to see through his decision was highlighted in bright
lines.

Whatever fantastical dreams might have been
held in the deep, deep recesses of her mind, at that look, they
blackened and fell into a waterfall of dark and silent despair.

“I made a promise, and I won’t fail her.”

They hadn’t spoken for the last two days, not
since the moment Kira turned her back to him after his confession
and proceeded to stay that way for the rest of the night.

Seth hadn’t been able to sleep that night.
His words had torn through their unspoken agreement to never
acknowledge the reality of their lives.

Now the words sat there, staring at him –
them – with hard, beady, black eyes that never wavered or gave a
moment’s respite. He was going to marry another woman, and she was
going to leave him the moment he did.

In the room of the inn they were staying for
the night, in the bed he sat upon, Seth brought his knees to his
chest and wrapped his arms around them. He rocked upon the scratchy
sheets and the too-hard mattress in hopes that somehow, someway,
the ache in his chest might loosen just for a moment.

There was a promise to keep, and it didn’t
matter that there was no more beautiful sight to him in this world
than Kira, smiling at him in the full sunlight, her hair ablaze and
her eyes as green as late spring grass. He’d made a promise to a
scared little girl who had never seen the sun, and he wouldn’t fail
her. He made a promise.

If he failed to keep his word, he wasn’t a
man. Not one who deserved a kingdom. Not one who deserved
friendship. Not one who deserved love.

Not one who deserved Kira.

The three knocks rang loud in his ears. He
rose and opened the door, not expecting the person on the other
side. “Kira?”

Her face held resolve. She had come here for
something and she wasn’t leaving until it was settled. But her face
was also soft and inviting, the intimacy and emotion she only ever
let show around him. “May I come in?”

He stood back for her to enter. She looked
around as she entered, but it was so quick he chalked it up to her
usual habit of studying her surroundings versus any great desire to
know what his room looked like.

She walked to his bed and sat on the edge. He
waited as she gathered her thoughts, her gaze never wavering from
his, those green eyes as clear and as at peace as he had ever known
them. Finally, she said, “I love you, Seth. I’m in love with you,
and I always have been.”

His body quivered with joy, in instinctive
happiness, even as his mind shouted
she can’t, she can’t, she
can’t
. “Kira—”

“No, don’t interrupt me.” Her expression
became what he’d always called her serious face, with her mouth a
firm line and her chin lifted in the air. “I want my say. I know
none of us has a choice in this, but I want my say.”

There was such a vulnerable strength about
her, the lines of her body strung taut and her back rail straight,
but the sheen of tears reflected in the firelight, and her mouth
had the smallest quiver to it.

Humbled before her, he sank to his knees and
waited.

She swallowed hard, but her voice was steady
when she continued. “You are the best man I have ever known. I love
you for your humor, and your goodness. I love you for your
intelligence. I love you for the strength of your will. I love you
for your compassion.”

Kira’s voice trailed off. In the greatest
moment of his life, despair rooted deep and wound around his gut,
the crushing force turning him inside out.

Her feet hit the ground, and she was no
longer on the bed but kneeling in front of him, her hands on either
side of his face. “But Seth, I love you most of all for your
integrity. I love that you never,
ever
go back on your word.
I love that when you proclaim something, gods can’t stop you from
making it happen. Because of that, I have such peace knowing our
kingdom could not be in better hands. I know you will be the type
of king who, centuries from now, they’ll still hold up as an
example and proclaim your rule to be one all rulers should
emulate.”

Her hands trailed over the line of his jaw,
then reversed course and burrowed into his hair. Seth willed
himself not to tremble. Her touch was fire, the burn of it
harrowing and exhilarating but oh so dangerous.

“In the morning, you are going to go to
Rosamund and fulfill your promise. And me? I’m going to go far, far
away. I have to, because I can’t stay here and be close to you
while you live and love someone else – I’ll either become a bitter
old woman who hates everything, or I’d try to make you something I
despise, and that is a man who will not honor his word. And I don’t
want either of those things to happen. So I need to go, and you
need to let me.”

He wrapped her in his arms and burrowed his
face into her neck. She was right, she was right, she was right.
His head shook and his arms tightened further and the smell of
woodsmoke on her skin buried itself into his brain.

Kira pulled back, her palms flat against his
chest. “But before that happens, I want one night with you. Not to
trick you and not to try to make you love me. What I want is one
stolen memory that I can keep buried in my heart for the rest of my
life.”

The tick of the clock, the thud of his heart,
the crackle of the fire – all were loud in his ears as her words
penetrated the layers of pain her looming departure had erected. “A
night?” He left the question open to not trap her.

She leaned up and brushed a gentle kiss
across his lips. Hers were so soft, a contrast to the strong lines
of her face and body that years of training had given her. “One
night where I can make love with you. One night with no obligations
or promises or unavoidable journeys to be made. Just two best
friends. Just us.”

“Just us.”
The perfect life
– he
squashed that thought, throttled it. No, it was one night. It was
just them. And it would be the memory he’d keep next to his heart
through the long years ahead.

Decision made, the weight on his chest
lightened enough that he could make himself believe it had
disappeared. Seth stood and reached down to grab Kira around her
waist and without waiting for her to speak, threw her onto the
bed.

“Seth!” she squealed, laughter and shock in
her tone at his unexpected movement.

“What?” He jumped on the bed and landed on
his knees next to her. “My understanding is this is where you do
that sort of thing.”

“Mine as well,” she replied, her smile wide.
“Your first time?”

“Yep,” he replied, though of course she knew
that. She knew everything, just as he did for her. He had only ever
wanted her anyway. No other woman at court ever came close to
tempting him. And even though he knew the answer, he asked anyway.
“Your first time?”

“You know it,” she answered cheerfully back,
but as their gazes met, for one moment her face went slack, losing
the breezy humor to show a gravitas, an awareness of this moment
and all it contained… and all that was ending with it. He froze in
the act of reaching for her, waiting to see where it led.

But it lasted for only a moment. She shook it
off and let their familiar closeness overpower any darker emotions,
her eyes returning to the soft, laughing look they had shared
before. She leaned back on her elbows and stared up at him, her
mouth challenging. “So how exactly are you going to dazzle me with
this sex thing?”

Kira always said she followed where he led,
but in this time and place, he followed her. There would be nothing
dark allowed to touch this night.

No, not this night. Not a night he had been
fantasizing about since he was old enough to have fantasies, and
not when Kira was spread out before him in sensual offering. Her
hair was fire bright and her skin had a silky sheen that invited
him to explore every inch with his tongue.

That didn’t mean they couldn’t play and
tease. He put a finger to his chin and affected an air of deep
thought. “Well, there is good news and bad news on that front.”

“I see,” she nodded, putting her own finger
on her chin to mimic him. “Please start with the bad news.”

“I’m a young man about to have my first
sexual experience. I believe the words
premature ejaculation
was created for just this scenario.”

Kira pressed her lips hard together, but she
couldn’t fully contain the snort of laughter. She breathed hard
through her nose, and when she had some control again, said, “I
hope the good news can cancel that out.”

He lowered himself so that he was holding
himself slightly above her, their mouths inches apart. “I believe
it can. For you see, I am a young man, and that means my second
time will last quite a bit longer, as well as the fact I am able to
have
a second time. And a third. Possibly even a
fourth.”

“Indeed. I completely agree with you on how
they balance in the end.” Her smile lost the humorous edge and
deepened into something more intimate, more loving. She wrapped her
arms around his neck again and pushed her mouth up to his.

Their lips were firmer this time, less
tentative. He explored the curve of the top lip and the long, thin
line of the bottom, little nips and slight suction that brought
forth throaty sounds.

Kira returned his actions with her own. His
mouth was her territory, and she claimed it however she wished. His
lip found itself between her teeth, sucked into her own hot mouth,
and the feel of her tongue pressed against him had his body hard
and begging in the space of a heartbeat.

Her hands stroked through his hair,
sensitizing each strand. He returned the favor and lay his hands on
her back, her skin warm through the thin material of her shirt.
With slow movements he stroked along the curve of her spine, only
to have her make such a needy little mewling noise that the urge to
strip her overwhelmed him. He pulled his mouth away from hers. “I
want to touch your skin.”

She must have agreed with the sentiment if
the speed at which she drew her shirt over her head was any
indication. Her red hair lay stark against her naked shoulders and
over the bindings across her breasts.

She looked a bit frailer than he imagined.
With her strength of both body and will, she loomed larger in his
mind’s eye. Seeing her as she truly was brought him up short.

Kira must have sensed his reservations. She
took his hand, brought it to her mouth. With gentle nibbles and
quick flicks of her tongue, she mesmerized him and a desperate need
bloomed in him, one that must be satisfied.

When her mouth was finished, she placed his
hand on the edge of her bindings. She smiled, that perfect
smile.

This is going to happen.

Yes, it is
.

He smiled back.

Seth leaned in to kiss her, his fingers
wrapped around the corner of her bindings. Kira welcomed the return
of his mouth, but this kiss didn’t have the questioning edge of
their first or the blinding heat of the second.

This kiss was coming home. This kiss was
about fitting together as they always had, two friends on their way
to being lovers.

Tears seeped from behind her eyelids and she
closed them tighter, forbidding them to fall.
No.
One night
was all she was going to have. She refused to let it be touched by
regret. That was later. Now was only the making of the memory.

The bed was soft and the fire warm, but
beyond that her senses only knew Seth. His dark hair was so soft
under the pads of her fingertips, almost tickling as she swept her
hands through.

He broke off the kiss slowly with small
kisses to ease away. His gaze left hers to fix on where his hand
lay on her chest, and it was only then that she realized his skin
was several shades darker than her own, a testament to his love of
the outdoors and the fact that she did not share it.