Loving Ashe (17 page)

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Authors: Liz Madrid

BOOK: Loving Ashe
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20
Where I'll Be

Paige was remarkably calm when she answered the door that evening, though Riley was sure that a few glasses of wine had probably helped to mellow her mood. She felt like a defendant entering the courtroom — guilty until proven innocent — as she walked through the door and entered the living room.

Clint was seated in his armchair, surrounded by the triplets. Trey and Trevor were showing him pieces of construction paper bearing their painted handprints and Thomas was leaning against Clint’s left leg, flipping through a picture book.

“Riley, you missed an excellent evening!” Clint said, waving at her as the triplets ran to greet her. “Jesse was pretty disappointed that you couldn’t make it, but luckily he ended up charming some fashion model all night. Can you believe that? It could have been you.”

“No, thank you, Clint, but I owe you for the cost of the ticket. It will take me time but I’ll do it in installments,” Riley replied. The children abandoned Clint and surrounded her, holding up their painted creations and, in Thomas’ case, his book. He was reading Hansel and Gretel.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Clint said, waving his hand. “It’s a tax write-off for my company, and it’s something we do each year. Paige and I just thought it would be a good experience for you to have. We even found ourselves a new investment! We are now private investors in an upcoming movie about some country western singer. It’s still in development, but considering that Reign Studios just purchased the screenplay from these guys, I’m sure it’s a good investment.”

“Okay,” Riley said slowly. “This is a bit different from the usual stocks and bonds and mutual funds you’ve put my money into, isn’t it?”

“Just diversifying your assets, Riley. And it’s not like my company hasn’t invested in movie studios before. But you can’t be a barista forever, you know,” Clint said as Riley felt herself being herded towards the playroom by the triplets, but she held her ground. The playroom would mean she’d be buried in all the toys and probably asked to assemble a new train.

Paige should have said something by now, Riley thought, even something snarky, but she was quiet, which told Riley that her sister was still pretty mad at her. She watched as Paige disappeared into the kitchen and then became absorbed by her nephews, who were telling her everything they’d done since they last saw her. Ten minutes later, Paige stepped back into the living room to announce that dinner was ready.

Oh well, whatever Paige ha to say would have to wait till later then, Riley thought as she extricated herself from beneath the pile of identical triplets. But maybe it was for the best. At least they could all enjoy a nice dinner, talking about the usual things, like what the triplets were doing now, who caught a cold and who didn’t, who got into trouble at the pre-school or what game they were into now, which usually changed weekly.

Halfway through dinner, the conversation returned to the gala.

“Come to think of it, Gareth was there, too, so it would probably have been awkward for you both to be in the same room after that whole fiasco with that photo of you two kissing,” Clint said, glancing at Paige before turning back to Riley.

“Now I’m really happy that I didn’t go,” Riley said, forcing smile. “That would have been interesting, wouldn’t it?”

With that, Thomas suddenly announced that he’d eaten all he could and wanted to return to his storybook. Trey and Trevor wholeheartedly agreed, though they had to stay for ten more minutes after Clint reminded them that they had to wait till everyone was finished with dinner before excusing themselves. As soon as the ten minutes was up, they rushed into the playroom and Clint excused himself as well.

“I’ll leave you ladies to your usual girl talk and I’ll take care of the kids. Thank you so much for dinner, dear. It was delicious, as always,” said Clint, kissing Paige on the cheek before disappearing into the playroom with the boys.

At least Clint was smart, Riley thought. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that Paige was angry with Riley, and it was probably best for Clint and the boys to be out of earshot when she blew up.

“You should just come straight out with whatever it is you want to say, Paige. It’s killing you to hold it in,” said Riley as she loaded the dishes into the dishwasher.

“I’m very disappointed with you, Ri,” Paige said. “You promised to go to the gala and you backed out at the very last minute.”

“I just didn’t want to go, that’s all,” Riley said. “I never wanted to.”

“Because of Ashe,” Paige said.

“Well, partly.”

“Bob told me that you jumped out of the car in broad daylight. Your coat’s beside the door, by the way, since you left it behind in your rush to run after a man.”

“I didn’t run after him, Paige. He was already heading for my apartment to visit me,” Riley said. “When I reached my building, he was already there. But this isn’t about Ashe, is it? This is really about us, and the fact that you can no longer control me or the way I live my life.”

“The way you live your life? I saw how you tried to live your life, Riley, and it almost left me without a sister,” Paige said. “Why can’t you be with someone normal, someone who-”

“He is normal, Paige,” Riley interrupted. “He’s so normal it’s not even funny. He dances the salsa, he reads Murakami, and he has a vinyl record collection that includes the Sex Pistols and the Beatles. But most of all, he likes me — a lot.”

“You slept with him, didn’t you?” Paige said, her hands on her hips as she glared at Riley. “Was that what you were doing the entire time that you couldn’t even be bothered to call me back?”

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. But I texted you, didn’t I? And just in case you’ve forgotten, I’m old enough to sleep with whoever I want, and I will sleep with whoever I want, not Jesse or whoever else you and Clint think is right for me,” Riley said. “I remember how you used to think that Gareth was the most amazing thing to happen to me because he was there for me after Mom died-”

“But you also ended up hurting yourself because of him,” Paige said. “Don’t even talk to me about Gareth, Riley. He’s bad news, more so now than he ever was.”

“If I ended up hurting myself, it was my own fault, not yours or Gareth’s,” Riley said. “What do you want me to do, Paige, become a nun? Sooner or later, I’m going to fall in love with someone, and guess what? I already have.”

“Why can’t you fall for some other guy who doesn’t work in the same business as Gareth? Someone who won’t leave you behind while he’s doing promos halfway across the world?” Paige asked. “How are you going to handle the talk about him being with someone else, pictures of him with someone, being a called his beard all because he travels with his two business partners; or when he’s filming, how are you going to handle the kissing scenes, or worse, the sex scenes? How, Riley?”

“How?” Riley asked. She hadn’t thought about such things – Ashe kissing someone else in front of the camera or being naked with someone else, though he assured her that these days, he had the power to say no to any nudity on camera. At least gratuitous nudity at that. “I’ll handle it because I trust him,” Riley said. “And he trusts me.”

“You trusted Gareth,” Paige said coldly. “Look where that got you.”

Riley exhaled, feeling the foundations of what she’d just built with Ashe waver. But she couldn’t let it happen. Not now. She couldn’t understand why Paige was so hung up over Gareth leaving her the way he did. Sure, she ended up hooked on heroin afterwards, but still, after her overdose, she’d completed rehab, and she’d been clean ever since.

“Ashe isn’t Gareth,” Riley said. “Besides, Gareth is history. Why are you so hung up on him? Why can’t you let him go? I’m trying my best to move on, Paige, but you keep bringing him up, expecting Ashe to be just like him.”

“Because he hurt you, that’s why, and I don’t want him — or anyone, Ashe included — to hurt you ever again,” Paige said.

They stared at each other for what seemed like minutes, neither of them speaking. Riley had run out of things to say, and she knew that anything she said now was simply to defend herself for choosing Ashe over someone else — someone Paige considered normal.

“But you can’t control that, can you?” Riley asked. “I can’t control it either. I’m always going to be hurt by someone, over something, some time in the future.”

“What if Ashe decides tomorrow that you two are over? Next week? Next month? Next year?” Paige asked. “What are you going to do then? Go back to your drugs and fool everyone that you’re okay?”

It always went back to the drugs. Riley couldn’t blame Paige for worrying about her because of her addiction, one that she’d hidden so well from everyone, even her closest fiends whom Riley abandoned after her stint in rehab was over. She’d been too ashamed for lying to everyone, even herself.

“I may not know what I’ll do then, but I do know what I won’t do. I know I won’t pretend that everything is okay when it’s not, and buy drugs and think I can drown my pain in it,” Riley said, her throat tightening. “And this time, I also will ask for help when I need it. And I won’t hide anything from you because you’re the only family I have left — at least, family that’s not so drunk they can’t even remember my name or blame me for not being strong enough, big enough to save mom when the fire happened.”

“You promise?” Paige asked. “You promise you won’t hurt yourself like you did before, that you won’t try to kill yourself again?”

Riley nodded, wishing Paige let go of the past. “I promise.”

Paige gathered Riley in a tight hug. “I don’t ever want to lose you, Ri. I know I’m not perfect. I know I’ve made my mistakes — and God knows I’ve made a lot of them — but no matter what happens, I don’t want to lose you.”

“That’s what this is all about, isn’t it?” Riley asked, drawing away to peer at Paige, whose eyes were welling with tears. “You don’t want to lose me to anyone. Not even to someone I actually love.”

Paige swallowed. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. “That’s not the reason why, Riley,” she whispered.

“I’m not your personal pet, Paige,” Riley said. “I’m a grown woman and I can take care of myself.”

“I just don’t want to lose you, that’s all,” Paige whispered. She was gazing at Riley in a way she’d never done before. It was a haunted look, reminding Riley of someone who was shell-shocked over something so traumatic. Was her being with Ashe that traumatic for Paige?

Was that what all this was about? About Ashe being in the same business as Gareth, whose leaving could lead Riley to drugs again, or worse? Riley touched the middle of Paige’s chest gently, a light tap that made Paige take a deep intake of breath, her eyes still glistening.

“I’ll always be here, Paige. No matter what happens, I’ll always be right here,” Riley whispered. “And you’ll always be my sister. Nothing will ever change that. I promise.”

 

21
It's Only Business

The week that Ashe left for the Asian leg of his movie promotions was one of the worst weeks for Riley. She couldn’t quite pinpoint why she felt so sad, depressed and lonely, but she did. Even though Ashe kept her abreast of his schedule each day by giving her his itinerary and hourly timetable, it wasn’t enough. There were rumors and reports of Ashe having been officially dropped from the movie
Alabama Rain
, which was based on the life of the late Conley Brennan, the singer he had told her about before he left.

Then two customers let her know that someone had posted a comment on Yelp that they’d seen a huge rat scurrying into the back room of the cafe. The news made Riley almost spill the espresso she was making.

“Excuse me? Did you say a rat?”

“That’s what we just read,” said a young woman who introduced herself as Natalie. She had ordered a machiatto, despite having read the review. “But since I’ve been coming here, for at least a year, I’ve never seen even a hint of dust on your counters.”

“Didn’t they close down that donut shop uptown?” asked someone further back in the line. “They caught it all on camera! Rats tasting the — ”

“All right, that’s it,” Riley said, turning towards a stricken-looking Martin. The last thing she wanted was a stampede of customers out the door at the mention of a rat tasting the pastries. “Can you finish this for me? I’ve got to check the back.”

Riley tried not to panic as she went into the back room and inspected everything, looked for droppings and found none. She went online, intending to read the negative one-star review that mentioned the rat sighting. But her newsfeed for the latest Ashe Hunter stories appeared on her phone screen first, and of course she had to click on that.

Ashe Hunter Out and Gareth Roman In!

Representatives for Reign Studios have confirmed that former co-star Gareth Roman has replaced Ashe Hunter, tipped to play the late country singer Conley Brennan. “I’m quite thrilled that Cookie, Conley’s widow, hand-picked me to play her late husband,” Gareth Roman was quoted in a press conference held in Tennessee this morning.

Isobel Reign, who will play Cookie Brennan, was quoted as saying, “I wish Ashe the very best, but I believe that Gareth will be the perfect Conley and I’m so grateful to Cookie for giving us this opportunity to tell their story.

Representatives for Ashe Hunter could not be reached for comment. The actor is currently in Tokyo promoting his latest movie, Sentience, which is out now in theaters and has so far raked in $86 million in US box-office receipts.

Riley was crushed for Ashe. She saw the replacement as Isobel getting her way and punishing Ashe for dumping her. But at the same time, Gareth had nailed the accent, so maybe it was just business. But Riley wasn’t worried about Gareth, for her thoughts were on Ashe and how he would take the news.

Even Paige was disappointed, considering that the three of them were now private investors in Rowan Productions, the company that Ashe and Hazel had set up when they’d first acquired the rights to Conley Brennan’s songs. It would have made sense for them to have acquired the rights to his life as well, Riley thought. But then she remembered what Ashe said, about having the power to release — or withhold — the rights to the songs that Reign Productions would need for
Alabama Rain.

Maybe it was only business, Riley reminded herself long after Paige had hung up after telling her that there were still other projects in development. It was only one battle lost, maybe a few bruised egos and nothing more.

When Ashe called her while she was in the back office, Riley felt relief wash over her at the sight of his face on her phone screen. She was happy to see and hear him during his video calls, made whenever he could find the time, even if it was early in the morning and he only had a few minutes to spare before he had to go do an interview. Ashe was stifling a yawn as she adjusted her phone settings, propping it up in front of her against Plath’s book of poems.

While it was four-thirty in the afternoon in New York, it was six-thirty in the morning in Tokyo and already Ashe was dressed in a suit. According to the itinerary that he had given Riley, it was Ermegildo Zegna, tailored to perfection and packed along with his luggage, every piece of clothing he wore during the tour chosen by a stylist. In the background, Riley could see another man adjusting his own tie.

“That’s my interpreter, Takeshi-san,” Ashe told her. Hearing his name mentioned, the translator turned to the camera and nodded his head repeatedly, saying something that sounded to Riley like ‘arigato’.

Though Riley really wanted to know if he’d heard about losing the lead in Alabama Rain, she began with some easier questions. How was Japan so far? (Exciting and different.) What was the food like? (He was eating too much sushi.) How was he getting on with the language? (He hadn’t a clue, hence Takeshi had been assigned to him for the duration of the trip.) How was he feeling over-all? (A bit jet-lagged, even though he’d rested a full day after arriving in Tokyo the day before.)

“But the people have been wonderful,” he grinned. “I’m having a great time here, though I wish you were with me, Riley. Yesterday they took me on a tour of the city and it was fascinating, like nothing I’ve ever seen before.” His brow furrowed. “Why the long face?”

“Besides having to deal with an alleged rat problem in the shop, I’m disappointed for you, of course. Haven’t you heard yet?” Riley asked.

“Heard what?”

“About
Alabama Rain
,” Riley said, biting her lip.

Ashe paused, frowning. “If you mean about Gareth getting the role of Conley Brennan, my agent told me about two hours ago.”

“I’m so sorry, Ashe,” she said.

“Why? It’s no big deal,” Ashe said. “Cookie Brennan has the final say, and if it’s her decision to let Gareth take the role, then so be it.”

“Is there any way that you can still-”

“No,” Ashe said firmly. Someone spoke to him off-camera and she heard him say ‘Yes’ and ‘I’ll be ready in two minutes’. Ashe turned to look at her again. “I’ll be fine. These things happen all the time, Riley. That’s why my agent keeps me busy with so many projects.”

“But how could Gareth do this, and Isobel? Does she really hate you that much? I read in a blind item that-”

“You’ve got to stop believing blind items, Riley. It’s not Gareth, nor is it Isobel. It’s just how the business works. This is how movies are made, the deals that go on behind the scenes. There are a lot of bargaining — in the millions of dollars — and also a lot of compromises, whether in talent, crew, budget or whatever else. And then there’ll always be the gossipmongers searching for whatever news they can find and pass off as truth,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “Cheer up. I’ll be home in a few days and we can talk. In the meantime, I probably won’t be able to talk to you for a while but I will text you.”

She touched Ashe’s screen face lightly with her fingers. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Riley-I-am,” he said, touching her fingers on the screen with his own just as Takeshi said something to him about the time.

“I have to go, luv,” Ashe said, touching a button to end the call. As Riley watched her phone go dark, she realized that Ashe was probably right. There was no point in getting worked up over something she had no control over.

The rat problem was another matter. She did have some control over that, and she was going to get to the bottom of it. Either someone really had spotted a rat in the cafe — which, if it were true, would spell bad news for the business — or they had just made up a lie that could cost Allen his life savings — and hers.

The call from the Health Department was the last straw, sending Allen into a panic and causing the Library Cafe to close two hours early. During the next two hours, Allen went to the office store to pick up file boxes for the books that needed to be removed from the shelves in case the rat chewed on the pages, and Riley, Tess, Carl and Martin cleaned and scrubbed the food-handling areas till the cafe was immaculate.

“Maybe it would be better to just take all the books out,” Allen said to her. “What do you think? Maybe it’s time to take the shelves off, too, and give the cafe more space.”

“There’d be no point in calling it the Library Cafe then, would there?” Riley pointed out. If Allen asked for a vote on whether the books stayed or went, she was for the books staying.

Through it all, there wasn’t a single rat dropping to be found. They’d managed to move everything from the walls and inspect it all, ending the day exhausted, fed up and utterly convinced that someone was attempting to shut them down. At least the food service area and entire back portion of the cafe were as clean as a whistle by the time they were finished.

Since Allen needed to be upstate for his granddaughter’s birthday party, Riley decided that she could put the books away on her own. He had already brought in the boxes, and she needed to be doing something instead of moping around the apartment missing Ashe.

So, after she’d sent everyone else home, ignoring Tessa’s offer to skip class that night and help out, Riley began to remove all the books from the shelves and arrange them inside the file boxes. Some of them ended up on piles on the floor as she foolishly tried to arrange them by author or genre. She wiped down each shelf with a solution of bleach, searching for rat droppings or chewed paper but finding nothing.

Outside it had begun to rain, and Riley wondered how much longer she’d have to stay. But she’d taken down all the books from the shelves and couldn’t leave them out on the floor till morning. That would really make everyone believe that something was wrong.

A tap came on the glass window above the front door at nine-fifteen, startling Riley. She thought she had lowered the blinds on all the windows after the last of the employees had gone, but the front door blinds were still raised.

She recognized the easy grin right away, the green eyes behind thick dark lashes that twinkled as she approached. Riley frowned. The nerve of him to come here! Hadn’t he caused enough pain already?

“Riley,” Gareth said. “We need to talk.”

 

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