Loving Mr. Daniels (27 page)

Ashlyn was the only thing that fought away the darkness.

The footsteps heard behind me were heavy. I knew it was him before he even spoke. I was the one who’d called him and told him to meet me here.

“It feels weird being back here.” I turned to see Jace walking my way. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. He walked over and sat next to me. “I haven’t been back since Mom…” His words faded. He placed his fingers in the water, creating ripples from his touch. He infected the water without even knowing it. Because that’s what Jace did—destroyed things, people. He never tried to, but he always did. “I saw Randy inside. He’s living here, too?” I didn’t reply. “He said you guys are at Joe’s bar performing twice a month?”

Coughing, I cleared my throat. “What are you doing here? What do you want?” I asked, feeling my body start to heat up from his arrival. Whenever Jace came around, doom wasn’t too far away.

He turned my way, wiping his wet hands across his jeans. His eyes were perplexed by my question. “I’m back to find out who killed Mom, Danny. And I’m a little shocked that you haven’t tried to do any damn thing about it after you had me locked up!”

My voice rose rapidly. “
I had you locked up
—” I sighed and took a breath. I’d played our reunion over and over again in my head for months. I had hoped he would have figured out why I’d had him put away, why I’d had no other choice. “I had you locked up because you would’ve been next, Jace. You would have come up with some stupid-ass revenge plan and gotten yourself killed.”

“I’m not stupid,” he hissed. “I could’ve handled—”

“You could’ve handled what?! Tracking down the asshole who killed Mom right over there?!” The palms of my hands pushed into the side of the dock, and I leaped up. Jace stood up almost faster than I did. “Maybe you could have pissed off some more fucking thugs and had them kill Dad and me before they ripped you apart, too!”

“Fuck you, Danny!
You
locked me up.
You
ratted me out. I’m your brother!” he screamed. I could see the resentment in his eyes, his fingers curled into fists.

“
You’re my kid brother
!” I shouted louder, tossing my hands up in irritation. “You’re my kid brother. I’m going to tell you once, Jace. Don’t do this. Don’t go digging back into this mess.” My eyes went to him and I crossed my arms. “I already buried Mom and Dad. Don’t make me pick out another damn plot in the cemetery.”

“I wasn’t even there…to bury my own parents.” He sniffed and ran his finger under it. His hands landed against his waist. “Red trusts me again.”

“Jace—”

“No. It’s good. I had a chance to rat him and his guys out when I went in, but I didn’t. I kept my damn mouth shut, and Red… He trusts me. He’s letting me back in.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little weird how forgiving he’s being to you?”

Jace shrugged. “I didn’t rat his guys out when I was locked up. It’s called loyalty. Something you wouldn’t know about.”

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. “Look, Jace…I have two hundred bucks on me. We can go to the bank and I can take out more.” I held the money out toward him. “You can go stay with Grandma down in Chicago for a while. Clear your head.”

“My head is clear, Dan.”

“It’s not.” I walked over to him and wrapped my hands tightly around his head. “It’s not clear if you think for a fucking second that this Red guy trusts you. Get out of town, Jace. Please.”

“I have to find out who did it, Danny,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. “I have to find out who killed Mom, and the best way to do it is from the inside.”

“Why? Why can’t you just let it go? She’s gone. She’s not coming back.”

“Because I did it!” he cried, pointing to the spot where Mom died. “I’m the reason she’s…” He placed his fist over his mouth. “Her blood, her death. It’s on me.”

“No.” I shook my head. “It’s on the sick asshole who had the gun.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you know,” he spoke softly. “I was supposed to go to college, too. Ya know? Dad thought I would go to college.”

“You still can.”

“I wanted back in. I wanted back into the band. I wanted to get clean. I wanted to stop all of this.”

“Jace…”

He bit his bottom lip and turned away from me. He rested his forearms on the top of his head and clasped his hands together. “Red wants me to pass some of his products to people. It’s easy enough. The clients are easy targets.”

“Clients? What clients?”

He turned back toward me. “Listen, Danny. I just need a little help. There’s a few kids at your school who—”

“You’re selling to kids? You’re selling to
my students
?” My eyes widened in horror. I stepped backwards.

“It’s not me, Danny. It’s Red. He’s testing me. He’s seeing if he can fully trust me. And if I can get these things out to a few of them, he said he’ll let me get my revenge. Mom’s revenge. He’ll tell me the guy’s name who killed her. With you being a teacher at Edgewood, maybe…maybe you can help get me a few names of the kids who use.”

“You’re fucking crazy. Do you hear yourself? He’s using you, Jace! He’s mocking you, dragging you back and forth like some toy. You think he didn’t know that I was a teacher there? You think he didn’t know that it would fuck up my life, too?”

“It won’t!” he promised and lied at the same time.

“It already has.” I paused. “I won’t help. And if I see you anywhere near my school, I will have you locked up again.”

He laughed uncomfortably. “Just like that, huh?”

I said nothing.

“You’ll have me locked up again for trying to find out who murdered
our
mother?” He paused and kicked around invisible rocks. “Okay. I don’t need your help. But if you get in my way, I will put you down.”

“You’re the one trying to sell drugs to students, Jace. Not me.”

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right,” he said, “But you’re the one fucking your students, not me. What was it? Ashlyn?” My fists tightened and I could feel my heart rate increase. He must have noticed too. “Ohh, is that a touchy subject? You’re all red in the face and shit.”

“Jace,” I said coldly, but I couldn’t say any more.

“You were right about one thing, Danny.” He pulled a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket. The cigarette rested between his lips and he lit it. His fingers moved to the side of his head and he tapped it. “I am fucking crazy. So don’t cross me. Or I’ll destroy you and your little student. I wonder what kind of things the other kids would say about her. As we both know, high school can be a real bitch.”

“Jace, if this is about Sarah—” I started to warn him, but he cut me off.

“
Don’t!
” His words grew darker. “Don’t bring her into this. I’m not kidding. I will fucking ruin your girlfriend’s life.”

He started to leave, and I sighed heavily. “What would Mom and Dad think? Of what you’re doing?”

“Well”—he didn’t look back—“I think they would be proud of me for actually following through with something. For bringing Mom’s death to justice.”

And like an infectious disease, Jace was spreading his way back into my life—again. I’d got away from his trouble. I’d focused on my music. I’d focused on teaching.

Yet somehow, someway, here we were again.

I marched back into the house and heard guitar strings being played. In the living room, Randy was sitting up on the couch, working on some new song lyrics. He looked up at me. “When did Jace get out?” he asked, playing his new tune.

“Don’t know, but he’s here.” I plopped down on the sofa. My hands ran across my face.

“He looked good though. Clean.”

I had to agree with that. I could always tell when Jace was using—he became jittery, nervous. But when I’d seen him at the cemetery and the school, he’d seemed strong. He’d looked like he had before he’d started using.

His hair was buzzed and he stood in business attire—probably something that Red guy had set up. But I
knew
Jace. I knew deep down how emotional he was, how broken he was. So if the temptation of the drugs was there, it wouldn’t be long before he welcomed them back into his life.

“What are ya working on?” I asked, changing the subject.

Randy picked up a book and tossed it to me. “Othello. I was trying to come up with some new material. I thought we could maybe open up with it on Friday for our show at The Upper Level. I know it’s a bit last minute but…”

“Let me see the lyrics.”

He handed me the paper and my eyes darted back and forth. Randy was a brilliant musician and storyteller, so I had no doubt the lyrics would be good. Yet these were better than good. These were mind-blowing.

Silent whispers of darkened souls.

My human side is now uncontrolled.

I see colors that make no sense,

But in your eyes, I know the truth exists.

Kidnapped, deranged, untamed.

Come back to me. Take my hand.

Dance. Dance to forbidden lands.

“I wanted something a bit darker. A bit grittier. Shakespeare had all kinds of sides, ya know?”

“Pass me the guitar,” I said. My fingers started strumming the guitar, feeling the strings move between my fingertips. I closed my eyes as I played, and like always, there Ashlyn was. The music only brought her closer to me, the sounds bringing my imagination to life.

I couldn’t let Jace ruin her life. And I couldn’t let her think that I didn’t care either. But what could I do?

Air is thick.

My mind is fogged.

Tell me we’re not about to lose it all.

~ Romeo’s Quest

The next few days of school were tough. I was stuck in a clouded, jaded mood. I’d hardly had any sleep because when I wasn’t thinking about Ashlyn, I was worrying about Jace. He could hurt someone. He could hurt himself. He could hurt my students. He could hurt Ashlyn.

After class with Ashlyn never looking up from her desk, I knew I should talk to her. Try to explain the situation. Right before lunch, I saw her walking with that Jake kid. He had been by her side each and every day, trying to ease his way into her heart. Trying to steal my placement. He didn’t have to try too hard though. I was merely handing it to him. I wasn’t even fighting for her…

She looked my way for a split second before she turned back to him and laughed loudly. Her hand landed on his chest, and he smirked wide. The way she flipped her hair over her shoulder and giggled for him made me sick. The way he moved in close and amused her made me pissed.

He was flirting with her, and she was flirting back.

But I knew her.

She was only flirting to make me jealous.

It was working.

Even though it was only to piss me off, I knew she liked the idea of it. Touching in public. Something I couldn’t give her. What kind of man couldn’t give his woman the love she longed for, she needed?