Loving Tenderness (9 page)

JJ giggled and skipped on ahead of them to the car.

During the ride to the fast-food restaurant, Andrew talked about the sermon. What Andrew said made sense, and she wished she’d tuned in more to the pastor’s words.

Andrew pulled into the parking lot, and, in moments, they were in line ordering burgers and fries, not what Hannah considered healthy, but JJ loved the choices. He clung to Andrew like plastic wrap, and Hannah had all she could do not to tell him to stop. Seeing her son hurt when Andrew eventually walked away from them would be more than she could bear. He’d been hurt so much already.

JJ ate half his burger and a few fries, then gulped down his pop and asked to go to the kids’ play area.

Hannah sat near the window so she could watch him while they finished their food. She had choked down a few bites of her sandwich and sipped her drink, but neither her heart nor her stomach had been in it.

When Andrew didn’t bring up the topic, she finally did. “I thought you wanted to talk with me about something.”

“I do,” he said, his face growing noticeably strained.

Tension built as she reacted to his look. “Is this the dying man’s last meal?” She gestured to her plate.

A puzzled look spread over his face, and she realized he hadn’t understood her. “I mean is this bad news for me?”

His face seemed to relax for a moment. “I hope not, but it might be my last meal.”

Now she felt totally bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“I want to tell you something about myself, Hannah. I think it’s important that you know who I really am.”

A frown pulled at her face, and she tried to ease it with her flippant comment. “You’re Andrew Somerville, respected citizen of Loving, Michigan, and owner of Bay Breeze Resort.”

Andrew shook his head. “No. That’s my brother, Philip.”

His serious look took her aback. “You are real brothers, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I’m the black sheep of the family, Hannah. I guess you haven’t heard. I’m the prodigal son who wasted his inheritance and didn’t even think enough of the family to come home for his dad’s funeral.”

His words knocked the breath from her. How could Andrew have been that unloving, that thoughtless? Impossible. “You’re kidding me?”

“No. I’m telling you the truth.”

She didn’t want to know the truth. Andrew’s self-description didn’t fit the Andrew she knew. “I don’t believe you.”

“People have been too kind. They’ve stopped their gossiping and have forgiven me. I just haven’t forgiven myself.”

“But how could you do that?”

Andrew stared into Hannah’s shocked face and asked himself the same question. “Stupidity.”

Hannah lowered her gaze and shook her head. “It had to be more than that.”

If he was truthful, and he needed to be, it
had
been more than that.

“Why are you telling me this now?” Hannah asked, without waiting for his answer to the other question.

“Because I care about you. Jemma’s illness made me think about family and helped put things in perspective. You and I have become good friends, and I think I owe you the truth. You shared your past with me the other day, and I knew it was only right that I do the same.”

“But it doesn’t fit you.”

“Your difficult life doesn’t fit you either, but it’s the truth, isn’t it?”

Hannah turned toward the window as if checking on JJ and nodded.

“About seven years ago,” he began, “I decided I wanted a break from the family business. I’d watched my brother pattern his life after my dad’s, and it was a life I didn’t think I wanted.” He halted, facing the truth. “No, it was a life I didn’t think I could handle. I couldn’t meet Dad’s expectations. Philip was the golden son, the one who did everything right.”

She turned from the window to face him, her skin pale and her eyes questioning.

“I left and tried business after business, scheme after scheme until I realized I was a failure. Even away from Philip, I’d never be the golden boy my father could admire. When Dad died, I didn’t have the courage to come
home. I stayed away licking my wounds until I couldn’t do it anymore. I came home, humbled and contrite.”

“What happened when you came back?”

“That still confuses me. Philip didn’t treat me as if he were the biblical prodigal son’s older brother. He took on the father’s role and killed the fatted calf. He threw a party to welcome me home.”

“But that was wonderful, Andrew. It’s what the Bible tells us to do.”

“But I felt unworthy. Once again, Philip had behaved like my father, exactly as a Christian should. He even gave me a job at the resort and place to stay until I could get settled in my own home. I’m not that perfect, Hannah. Far from it.”

She studied his face as if considering his admission, and Andrew wondered if he’d made a mistake in telling her the truth.

H
annah’s hand trembled as she lifted the spoon to stir the chocolate. Her mind reeled with so many complications, so many overwhelming issues, she no longer knew which way to turn.

Nearly two weeks had passed since Andrew had spoken with her about his past, and that day seemed to have put a wedge between them. She hadn’t responded the way he’d needed her to. She knew that, but she’d been so startled by what he’d said; if he’d stumbled once, he could stumble again.

She’d let her heart get wrapped up in a man she didn’t know well and one who probably had no real feelings for her. Now she realized that putting her hopes in a man who took wild chances to prove himself could be another step into the path of danger. As questions tumbled in her mind, God’s word dashed it away. Do not judge. Be compassionate. Trust in the Lord. Forgive, so the Father can forgive you. So many thoughts that made her ashamed of her behavior.

Miraculously, Jemma had rallied and seemed to be
making good progress. Hannah had rejoiced at the news. Yet Hannah’s upset hadn’t eased. She pressed her hand against her belly, facing the truth. An ulcer would be a blessing to the real condition she found herself in. Pregnant. She felt certain now. She’d been nauseated, and now she’d missed her third cycle. The first, she’d thought was caused by stress. The second and third…? Why hadn’t she realized what the symptoms meant earlier?

“Sorry,” Jenni said, dropping some packages on the counter. “I found some new candy boxes at the outlet. I thought we might try them with the chocolate bark. If they work, I can order more from the company at a discount.”

Hannah tried to look interested and moved back to stir the pots.

“What’s wrong?” Jenni asked, moving to her side.

“Nothing.”

“Are you ill?”

Hannah grasped for a response. She couldn’t tell Jenni the truth, not now. “I realized the other day that Jack’s free again. I’m just edgy.”

Jenni gave her a knowing nod. “I figured it was about that time.”

“I’ve done everything I can. I’m working here now. I have the new apartment. Once he begins, JJ’s school will be my only problem, but I’ll warn them not to release him to anyone without my permission. But Loving’s a small town. He’ll keep looking. That’s Jack.”

“You’ve done what it takes. Did you talk with the police?”

“I did, but they can’t do much unless Jack does something first. You know that. What scares me is Jack’s persistence. He’s like a bloodhound.” Goose bumps rose on
her arms, remembering a car she spotted yesterday that had resembled Jack’s.

Jenni embraced her. “You’re safe here, Hannah.”

“At least I’m out of the line of vision in the kitchen. That helps, but being at the apartment is another story.” Hannah had lots of stories, but none she wanted to share, none she wanted to remember.

On Friday evening, Andrew darted to the side door and hurried up the stairs to Hannah’s apartment. He’d called her at work and learned she’d stayed home. Concern dimmed his wonderful news.

At the top of the staircase, he knocked on the door. He waited, then rapped again. No sound came from inside. Recalling that Jack had been released, Andrew faltered while pinpricks of worry stung him. Wondering where she had gone, he turned his back to the door and lowered his foot to the step when he heard a sound. He returned to the landing as the door opened.

Hannah looked at him through the gap in the door.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, as she eased open the door and invited him in.

“I’m not feeling well. It’s nothing.”

“You look terrible.” He glanced around the kitchen and listened for the child’s greeting. “Where’s JJ?”

“Annie invited him to Gracelynne’s birthday party. I’ll pick him up later.” She searched his face. “Is something wrong?”

“Not at all. I thought you’d want to know that Jemma is coming home today. She’s still weak, but Philip and Ellie are so thrilled and the baby needs her.”

“That’s wonderful news,” Hannah said, sinking onto a kitchen chair.

Andrew watched her a moment. Hannah couldn’t hide her problems from him anymore. He knew her too well. He pulled out a chair and sat, wondering if he should press her about it. She’d been looking peaked for the past month. Knowing how she hated him to push her into decisions, Andrew held back the urge to suggest she see a doctor. “I suppose I should go. You don’t look well.”

“I’m okay now. I was feeling ill this morning.”

“You really should…” He caught himself and changed the sentence. “…take better care of yourself. You work hard, and you’ve been under stress.” A new worry crossed his mind, and this one he had to ask. “Have you heard from Jack?”

Startled, her gaze latched on to his. “Why are you asking me that?”

“I see something in your eyes. Something more than physical illness. It’s fear or worry.”

She lowered her head and didn’t respond.

“Has he been here, Hannah? Please tell me.”

“No, he hasn’t been here.”

“Outside then?”

She shrugged and rose, crossing to the sink and running a glass of water. She took a sip, then turned back to him. “I think I saw his car on Washington.”

“Are you sure?”

A sigh rattled from her chest. “Not positive, but pretty sure. I just sensed it.”

“Then you should notify the police.”

“But I have no proof. It could be my imagination.”

“I doubt that. You know him. You know his car, and you have a protection order to keep him away from you and JJ. Please call the police before he does something.”

“If I see him again, I will.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” she said.

He rose and pushed in the chair. “Let me drive you to pick up JJ. I don’t want you going alone.”

“No, I can’t live my life in fear. I have to stop for some groceries. I’ll be fine. I keep my car doors locked.”

He grasped the chair back, wishing he could shake some sense into her. Jack had been volatile, and Andrew had no idea what it might take to set him off again. Laws and court orders wouldn’t deter a man like that.

“When are you going for JJ?” Andrew asked.

She glanced at the clock. “I should go now, I suppose.”

“I’ll walk you out,” he said.

He waited until she combed her hair and slipped on a sweater, then went ahead of her down the stairs while she locked the door. Passing the downstairs side entrance into the boutique, he could hear Claire talking with a customer. She’d propped the door open for fresh air, he assumed.

Andrew opened the outside door and held it for Hannah, then watched her climb into her car parked in the back. When she was safe, he dashed to his sedan on the street and waited until she pulled out of the alley onto Washington.

Hannah would be furious if she knew he was following her. She’d been so determined to be independent and stand on her own, but he had a gut feeling that Jack had been on the prowl. As he drove, he kept an eye on the traffic. A dark-blue car moved in behind Hannah’s. He recalled Jack’s car being that color. His pulse skipped with speculation.

The car stuck to her tail while Andrew stayed two cars behind, keeping an eye on the situation. He saw
Hannah signal for a right turn. The car behind her didn’t signal, but when Hannah rounded the curve, the navy-blue car followed.

Andrew’s back bristled. He pulled his cell phone from his jacket pocket and stayed back, waiting.

When Hannah pulled to the curb, the other car passed. But Andrew’s relief was short-lived. The car made a quick swerve to the side and stopped. Andrew’s heart flew to his throat. Jack. He knew it.

He pushed 911 and told the dispatcher what he was witnessing. As Hannah moved away from her car, Jack darted forward and clutched Hannah’s shoulders. She pulled away, and her mouth moved as if she were trying to talk sense to him, but Andrew saw tension building. He’d confronted Jack once, and he did not want to get involved again. He would drive Hannah away with his constant interference. He knew that too well.

Instead, he sat with eagle eyes, watching Jack’s every move. He could be out of the sedan in a heartbeat if need be, but for now he clutched the steering wheel to keep from running to Hannah’s defense.

Hannah tried to pull her shoulder away from Jack’s grip, but he seemed to cling like a vise, and Andrew saw Hannah’s face wince with pain.

Anger flared in Andrew. He flung open his door just as he saw the police car round the corner. Annie’s house door opened, and JJ came bounding outside, distracting Jack. He called to the boy, but JJ hesitated and backed up instead of moving forward.

Jack released Hannah and darted for JJ. The child stood frozen to the ground. Andrew ran forward and grabbed the boy as the police car skidded to a halt. In the midst of the confusion, Andrew hurried with JJ to Hannah’s side.

Her eyes widened, and her expression flickered through a multitude of emotions until her face settled into the familiar look of relief and gratitude mixed with irritation, then she ignored Andrew and focused on the officer while he cuffed Jack and pushed him into the police car.

JJ clung to his mother’s side, and Andrew knelt to calm the boy. Tears rolled down the child’s face and his lip trembled. He put his arms around Andrew’s neck and wept into his collar. When he had calmed, Andrew lifted the boy in his arms, keeping the child’s vision blocked while the police drove away.

Hannah watched the squad car leave, then turned to Andrew. “What are you doing here?”

“I followed you. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do that to me, Andrew. If you do, you’re no better than Jack. You just have different motives.”

“Hannah, I understand, but don’t you see? I care about you and JJ. When I saw the dark-blue car on the street, I couldn’t just drive off. I called the police.”

Something changed in her eyes, but she stuck to her defiance. “I’m a big girl. What will I do when you’re not here to save me? I have to learn to defend myself. I can’t depend on others. This is my life.”

The sting of her words burned Andrew’s cheeks. He was nothing like Jack. He wanted only the best for her, but she couldn’t see that. “Would you prefer me to be out of your life?” His heart stopped, hearing his question.

She stared at the ground for a moment, her fingers smoothing JJ’s hair. “I don’t know what I want, Andrew, but I don’t want to be controlled or followed around. I’ve already had that experience, and I don’t like it.”

He backed away. He had no intention of controlling her
life. He’d reacted out of Christian love. Christian love? Only that? The time had come to face his real motivation?

“I’m pregnant,” Hannah said.

Jenni’s mouth dropped open, and a frown altered her usual smile. “But…”

“I know. I’m speechless, too. I’m also depressed.”

“Oh, Hannah,” Jenni said, her frown fading to tender concern. “I didn’t mean to sound—”

“You didn’t react any differently than I did when I realized why I’d been so ill. With all this stress, I thought I had an ulcer.” Her hand lowered to her growing belly. “I’ll take the ulcer.”

“No. You don’t mean that. You’re talking about a child—a new little person coming into the world.” Jenni stroked her own rounded belly.

Tears filled Hannah’s eyes. “But my world is different from yours. Yours is filled with promise. Mine leaves a lot to be desired. I don’t have a husband, and I’m raising JJ on my own. I don’t want to get public assistance to raise my children, but I can’t earn enough money to—”

“With God all things are possible, Hannah. And what about the baby’s father?” She glanced away, then looked back, her head tilted with question. “It’s Andrew?”

“Andrew!” Hannah sucked in his name, startled by Jenni’s assumption. Yet humiliation charged through her at the thought of admitting the baby was Jack’s. “Andrew’s not the father, Jenni. Please don’t ask. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jenni’s eyes widened, then the frown returned as if she wasn’t certain if Hannah had told the truth. “It’s your business, Hannah, but the father deserves to know. And to take responsibility.”

Hannah could no longer contain her tears. They ran down her face, and she grasped a nearby towel and held it over her eyes while she wept.

Jenni’s gentle touch and soft voice washed over her, and when the words settled in, Hannah realized she’d been praying for her.

Prayer. Sometimes it seemed so hopeless. Hannah had talked with God. She’d turned to Him in her distress, but He seemed to turn His back. How could she explain that she’d kept the rape hidden from everyone? Why had she protected Jack from the abuse he’d submitted her to? Jack deserved nothing.

That wasn’t the only reason, she admitted to herself. She wasn’t just protecting Jack, but she was hiding her own vulnerability, hiding her shame and violation. She wanted no one’s pity. She wanted to stand on her own, to be proud of what she could do for herself and her son.

The pungent smell of chocolate filled the air, and Jenni stepped away and darted to the stove.

Hannah gave a final swipe of the towel and lowered her hand. “I’m sorry. Is it ruined?”

“I think so.” She pulled the pot off the burner as the scent of scorched chocolate drifted from it. “Don’t worry about it. The chocolate is the least of your problems. Go wash your face, and we won’t talk anymore about this now. Just remember that you’re in my prayers, and whether it seems so or not, the Lord keeps His promises. Whatever we endure, I believe God is giving us another chance to perfect ourselves in Him.”

Hannah shook her head unable to comprehend what Jenni was saying. How could she perfect herself when she seemed to be falling apart?

“And this is the last thing I’ll say,” Jenni said, paus
ing with the chocolate-coated spoon pointing toward Hannah. “You should talk to a pastor. Your wellbeing is the most important thing right now. Just think about it.”

As Jenni’s words soaked into her hardened thoughts, Hannah pulled herself together, relieved that she had finally told someone about the baby.
Baby.
The word spread through her. A sweet child. A little boy or girl she could raise without Jack’s horrible influence.
Jack.
The name jogged her memory. “Jack’s trial is coming up, and I’ll probably have to appear.”