Loving the Marquess (31 page)

When Nicholas returned, he told Louisa that Mary had
confessed to everything. How she’d learned of the poisonous qualities of the
flower she liked so much from a friend’s casual remark shortly before the two
sides of the Manning family finalized the agreement for Mary and Nicholas’s
brother, James, to marry. What they hadn’t known was that Mary had fallen in
love with the youngest son of an impoverished baronet during her first Season,
but her mother had forbidden the match. She had watched, brokenhearted, as he
courted and then wed another.

The seeds of her madness had been planted and they grew
rapidly. She’d attempted to kill herself by consuming a tea brewed from the
leaves of the plant. Instead of dying, however, she had merely fallen ill. She
then conceived the idea of giving the poison to her uncle, hoping that his
resulting illness would cause the Overleas to postpone her wedding to James.

She hadn’t intended to kill him, but the effects from
ingesting the plant weren’t instantaneous if only a small amount was used. When
Nicholas’s father suffered a delayed attack while driving into the village, he
lost control of the carriage, killing him and his wife instantly. Instead of
feeling guilt, however, Mary had been relieved. Her betrothal to James had not
yet been officially announced, and she hoped that he would change his mind
during the mourning period.

She’d been disappointed when she learned he intended to go
through with their union after the period of mourning was over and had moved
forward with a more aggressive timetable for James, not caring that she was
playing an active role in another’s death. In her desperation, he was given
much larger doses and his swift death from the poison had been inevitable. She
was so deep into it at that point that she couldn’t stop. She’d decided that
she would only be free from her mother’s matchmaking schemes by ensuring her
brother became the Marquess of Overlea.

They were preparing for bed when Louisa told Nicholas that
she felt sorry for Mary.

Nicholas scoffed at her softheartedness. “That ‘poor girl’
killed my family and almost succeeded in killing me. And lest you forget, she
did the same to you. Not once, but twice. The first when she ordered Harrison
to sabotage your saddle so you’d fall from your horse.”

Louisa gasped. “She caused my accident? When did you learn
that?”

“I knew your saddle had been tampered with almost
immediately.”

“And you never said anything?”

“I didn’t wish to frighten you.” Nicholas reached for her
and pulled her into his arms. “I already suspected the poisoning but didn’t
suspect you’d also be in danger. I believe by that time Mary wasn’t thinking
clearly at all.”

“I don’t believe she was ever thinking clearly,” Louisa
said, shaking her head. “What will happen to her?”

“It’s likely she’ll be committed to an asylum.”

Louisa shuddered at the thought. Death would be more
merciful.

“I don’t understand Harrison’s part in all this. You said
Mary’s maid didn’t know what she was delivering to him, but Harrison clearly
knew exactly what he was doing.”

“He did it for the money,” Nicholas said. She frowned in
disbelief and he continued. “Apparently he fathered a son in his youth. When
the boy reached his majority he developed a liking for cards, but he had no
affinity for it and quickly amassed a rather large amount of gaming debts. Of
course, he made his situation worse by borrowing money from the wrong people.”
Nicholas paused as he struggled to keep his voice even. “If Harrison had gone
to my father instead of accepting payment from Mary to poison him, I’m sure he
would have helped him.”

He pulled her into a tight hug, and she hoped he found as
much comfort in the embrace as she did.

“Thank God he was found,” she said, drawing back a little to
look up at Nicholas. “If he’d managed to get away, we never would have known
Mary was behind everything and she might have found someone else to finish the
task.”

“Yes, thank God and James Tate,” Nicholas said. “He
remembered that Harrison had spoken about having family in London. When the
groom told him Harrison had headed north, he played a hunch and headed toward
town.”

“We must think of a way to thank him.”

“I already have. Since I am now in need of a new valet and I
could think of no one more deserving, I offered him the position. I’m sure
we’ll both muddle through until he learns the ropes.”

She returned his smile with one she was far from feeling.
She’d been trying, unsuccessfully, to shake off the sense of melancholy that
had settled over her when she realized what she needed to do. Nicholas had
married her thinking he was on the verge of death. It was true that their
relationship had grown from the one he’d initially envisioned, but she loved
him enough not to force him to spend the rest of his life with someone he
didn’t love in return. He had already lost so much in his life. His parents,
his brother. He deserved the chance to have someone in his life he could love.
If that wasn’t her, she would step aside so he could find that person. It would
likely kill her, but she would do that for him.

Nicholas had grown to know her well in the little time
they’d been together, and she couldn’t hide her mood from him.

“Something is the matter,” he said lightly, tilting her face
up to meet his gaze. He ran his thumb along her lower lip. “You are unhappy.”

Louisa shuddered at his touch. She wouldn’t be able to do
this if he was touching her. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of his arms.

“You are completely healthy,” she said.

“I’ll have the doctor look me over, but I hope to learn that
I have suffered no lasting ill effects from the poison.” He examined her,
trying to read her intent. “I hope the fact that you are now stuck with me
indefinitely is not causing you distress.”

He spoke lightly, the words an attempt to elicit a smile
from her, but they had the opposite effect.

“Actually, that is what I wanted to speak to you about,” she
said. “Now that you are no longer ill, you have no pressing need for an heir.”

His eyes narrowed. “I still need an heir.”

She soldiered on, her words coming out in a rush.

“Yes, but you do not require one from me.” He started to
respond, but she held up a hand to stop him. “I have to say this now, while I
can. When you asked me to marry you it was a matter of convenience. I required
your help and you needed something from me. But that is no longer the case.”

An odd expression crossed his face. His voice was gentle
when he spoke. “I still need you, Louisa.”

She waved her hand at him and pressed on. “You need me in
the same way you did the mistresses you no doubt had before me, but you do not
have to be tied down to me.”

A hint of wariness entered his eyes. “What exactly are you
saying?”

This was it. Would he be relieved when she told she was
giving him back his freedom?

“The circumstances surrounding our marriage were
extraordinary ones, and at the time you were under a misapprehension about your
health. We both know that under normal circumstances you would never have
married me.” She had to take another deep breath before continuing. “I would
understand if you wanted to separate. It is done all the time and no one would
talk.”

A long, uncomfortable silence stretched between them when
she finished.

“And what about you,” he said finally. “Do you really think
I would just cast you aside as so much garbage and go back to living like a
bachelor in town?”

She winced at his words and turned away, unable to face him.
She didn’t hear him move and was surprised when he spun her around to face him
again, his hands gripping her upper arms. He was angry with her.

“Do you think so little of me that you believe I would do
that to you?”

She reached up and placed a hand against his cheek. He was
so handsome and could still take her breath away. But she loved him enough not
to bind him to her if he didn’t share her feelings.

“Ours was not a love match. You deserve that, Nicholas.”

He reacted as though she had slapped him. He released her
and took a step back.

“Let us speak plainly here, Louisa. I know you are used to
caring for others. Catherine, John, your father. Me. Was that all I was to you?
Another cause? Someone for you to nurse, and now that you know I am fine you
find the notion of spending the rest of your life with me unbearable?”

She gasped at the bitterness in his tone.

“No—”

He laughed, but the sound was not a happy one. “Well, that
is too bad. I will not agree to a separation.”

They stood there for what seemed an eternity. He was so very
angry with her. His hands were balled at his sides, his breathing harsh.

“We seem to be at an impasse,” he said finally.

Louisa could feel all the energy draining from her body at
his words, to be replaced by defeat. She had ruined everything. She’d wanted
only to make him happy, but instead all she had accomplished was to ruin what
little happiness the two of them had managed to wring from the situation in
which they’d found themselves.

She turned and headed for the door that connected their
rooms. He was angry with her and she couldn’t be around him when he was like
this. Like the cold, remote stranger she had married. It hurt too much.
Perhaps, over time, they could get back to the easy camaraderie they’d recently
developed. It might be enough that she loved him and he did seem to like her.
Or at least he had before this evening.

She reached the door and turned the knob, but Nicholas came
up behind her and reached around her to hold it closed. They stood there like
that for several heartbeats, she facing the door, Nicholas looming large and
powerful behind her, caging her between his two arms. Her thoughts went back to
that other night when she’d found herself in the same position. The night the
two of them had made love for the first time.

She was afraid to say anything that might make him angrier.
She’d thought only to give him the freedom he deserved, and instead he had
taken it as an insult. She should have realized he wasn’t the kind of man who
would abandon his responsibilities.

“Is this truly what you want?” he asked, his voice strained.
“To leave?”

She closed her eyes as grief washed over her. That was the
very last thing she wanted to do.

His mouth dropped to the curve of her neck and he kissed her
there. She relaxed into him and released the breath she’d been holding.

“I don’t want to go.”

He turned her then, but didn’t step back. She brought her
hands to his chest and met his dark, intent gaze.

“Good, because I’m not letting you go that easily.”

His mouth met hers in a tender kiss that stole her breath.
She made a sound of relief and brought her hands up to tangle them in his hair,
holding him to her. His hands glided down her back and brought her fully
against him.

“Tell me what you do want,” he said, his mouth hovering over
hers.

She swept her tongue over his lips and he groaned in
response.

“I want you. I know I shouldn’t. You deserve to be happy,
Nicholas, not bound to me, a woman you married only out of necessity.”

He lifted his head and stared down at her, clearly baffled.

“I
am
happy, Louisa. Our marriage may have taken
place for all the wrong reasons, but you are the woman I want. The woman I
love.”

Happiness unfurled in her chest. “You love me?”

“I would have thought it obvious. I’ve been acting like a
lovesick fool since I met you, although it did take me a while to realize it.”

She threw her arms around him and clung to him.

“Does this mean I’ll hear no more nonsense about ending our
marriage?”

“I love you, too, Nicholas,” she said, almost afraid to let
go of him, lest she find she was only dreaming.

He exhaled with relief and buried his head in her neck.
“Thank God.”

If Louisa had thought the activity
surrounding the preparation of her wedding trousseau was impressive, the
modiste and small army of seamstresses that descended upon Overlea Manor in
late winter put that experience to shame. Nicholas’s grandmother had clearly
spared no expense in making sure Louisa and Catherine would be dressed in only
the most current fashion for the upcoming Season.

Under the discerning eye of one of London’s most
sought-after modistes, the sisters had shifted through a seemingly endless
variety of fabrics and designs. When that stage of planning their new wardrobes
was complete, the never-ending fittings began. Louisa was certain they would
never need so many different outfits, but she took joy from seeing how the
activity lifted Catherine’s spirits. Her sister’s normal cheerfulness had faded
when Kerrick left shortly after the discovery of Mary Manning’s crimes, but her
mood had improved with this concrete sign that the start of the Season was
almost upon them.  Louisa only hoped Catherine would find someone to distract
her from thoughts of the man for whom she was so clearly pining.

With only a week left before their departure for London,
they were once again in Catherine’s bedroom trying on the last of the new
outfits. Two seamstresses were helping Catherine into a new gown while another
was on her knees before Louisa, pinning up the hem of her dress. The modiste
looked on, her mouth a moue of displeasure as she took in the awkward fit of
Louisa’s dress.

Louisa’s thoughts drifted. On the surface, the day was like
many others they’d experienced over the last month, but it was one she would
never forget. Nicholas had left that morning to deal with estate matters and
she was counting the minutes until his return.

“What do you think, Louisa?”

She looked up to see her sister examining herself in the
cheval mirror. The pale yellow gown perfectly complemented her sister’s fair
coloring and the low neckline was guaranteed to draw attention.