Lucid Dreaming (8 page)

“The
Prolixin's
kicked in again.”

“Yeah. Are we like the only two chicks here besides Mama who get it?”

She laughed, then said, “No, there's a few of us that are useful. I'm good at milking.” She gestured at the pail, and now I realized it was full of milk, not water. “And you…”

She looked at me with a big grin, and something like admiration. I tasted blood again, and asked, “What'd I do? Why does my arm hurt?”

“Oh, that was Johnny.”

Johnny…that's right. The younger one who'd been with Hank. The one who'd said he wanted me.

“Oh, don't worry,” she added, “I don't think Johnny will be trying that again.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because you bit his ear off.”

“You're kidding.”

She let go with a good, long laugh, and I liked her. “Nope.”

“So that's the blood in my mouth…”

“Nope. That would be Wyatt's.”

“Wyatt? Who's Wyatt?”

She walked up, knelt beside me, and started working at the knots on the other side of the tractor blade. “He's Johnny's best friend. He ran in when he heard Johnny screaming, and you— you don't remember any of this?”

I scanned my memory banks for a second, but only got flashes, nothing clear. “Not really.”

“Well, I'll sure as hell never forget it. You got your teeth into Wyatt's arm, then kicked that boy right in the nuts. With any luck, he won't be passing on his defective genes any more, thanks to you.”

I started to laugh, too. “Shit…”

She finished the knots, and pulled the ropes away. I shook my arms loose, feeling blood rush back into numb fingers.

“I'm Colby,” she said, standing up and offering me a hand.

I took it and got to my feet, grateful to be able to move again. “Spike.”

“Spike. Never seen anybody dream like you, girl.”

“That wasn't dreaming. I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I've been on
Prolixin
for years. Take me off, and I get kind of…well, you saw.”

“Yeah, I did. And between you and me, those dirt bags had it coming.”

Colby picked up the milk and started towards the main house. “Come with me. Gotta get this to the house.”

I walked along with her, and I realized I was hungry and thirsty and I wanted to use a bathroom, but first of all I had questions. “Colby, do you know what happened to Teddy—the guy I was with?”

“Oh, Mama thought he was in good enough shape to work, so they gave him
Prolixin
and tried to put him on work duty.”

“Doing what?”

“Helping with some cattle butchering.”

Oh god. A vegetarian's private hell. I couldn't imagine anything Teddy would be worse at. “Is he okay?”

“I guess. He passed out. He's back up at the house right now. The other boys are all kind of pissed at him. Although I think it might be just because he's so much better lookin' than they are.”

“Tell 'em they can deal with me.”

Colby gave me another admiring side-glance, and I realized she might be a potential ally.

Because I had the feeling I'd be needing one here.

I had another interview that morning with Mama.

She told me that since they had to keep me on
Prolixin
anyway, I'd have to make myself useful. They needed extra help on building a big greenhouse, and she asked me if I'd had any experience with construction. I said no, but that I thought I could do it.

I would rather have worked with Colby, but I figured Mama would know I was up to something if I asked for that, so I took what I was given.

I ended up working with three good ol' boys named Denny, Moose and JJ, who eyed me with a mix of curiosity and horniness. They were building a large wooden structure that would become a greenhouse, where they could grow certain foodstuffs they'd need. Right now the work was nothing but hammering two-by-fours; a twelve-year-old could have done it, but they made it sound like some tough-dude thing that required skill and years of training.

“Sure you can handle it, little girl?” said JJ, who was skinny as a rail and smelled a lot worse than the barn.

“Yeah, I can think of better uses for y'all,” offered up Moose, who grabbed his fat crotch and demonstrated how many teeth he was missing when he grinned.

“Careful, boys,” Denny chimed in, at about thirty being the oldest and possibly least stupid of them, “'member what she done to Hank and Johnny.”

“I'd be better for her than that trash she rode in with,” said Moose, and took a step forward.

At first I thought he meant Hank…then (stupid me, slow on the uptake as usual) I realized the “trash” was Teddy.

“Hey, Moose, you know what a violent paranoid schizophrenic is?” I asked him.

He stopped and frowned. “No. Sounds like some faggot thing.”

Charming.

“Not exactly. It means we hurt people.”

“Oh yeah?” The big
dumbshit
just smiled again and took another step forward.

He'd been warned.

I had my hammer in hand, and before Moose could even count to two (about as high as I figured he could go), I jumped towards him and brought that nice steel hammer down right on a size-16 foot.

He screamed like a prepubescent girl and fell back, hopping on one foot, grabbing his injured toes. “
Owww
…Jesus Christ, she hit me…”

JJ and Denny couldn't decide whether to defend their friend's honor or back off, but when I just kind of twirled the hammer a little they stepped away from Moose and looked for something else to do.

I know that after that I could probably have spent the day just sitting on my ass, but I wanted to let them know I also wasn't afraid of real work, so I hammered in just as many nails as the three of them combined. By the end of the day the framework for the greenhouse was looking pretty good, and those three Neanderthals left me alone.

We quit at dusk, and headed back to the main house.

My reward was to see Teddy.

He didn't look good—he was haggard from being back on the
Prolixin
, and from having had to endure watching a cow being slaughtered. After he'd fainted, Mama had reassigned him to general field work, and he'd spent the day learning to handle farm equipment and helping to clear a field.

“Field's the best place for him,” somebody muttered as Teddy finished his story. I turned to see who it was, but there were a lot of people around.

Nights were when the whole clan cut loose, it seemed. It was still late summer, the evenings were warm, and dinner was a shitkicker hoedown, with big slabs of beef grilling over cut-in-half fifty-five gallon drums that'd been turned into barbecues. There were maybe twenty men and ten women present, including Colby, who gave me a friendly little wave. Jugs of homemade corn mash were passed around, and country music blared from some huge
boombox
.

I probably don't have to mention that Teddy was the only non-Caucasian there.

“I can't take much more of this,” Teddy whispered to me, nervously eyeing the progressively-drunker assholes all around us.

“I know,” I said, nearly shouting to be heard over that terrible music, “I'm working on it.”

I cast a quick glance off to the side, and saw that we were indeed being watched, not by Hank or Johnny or even Moose, but by a bitter-looking, middle-aged woman whose name I didn't know. She seemed to be stirring some big pot of beans, but I knew her real job was to spy on us and report back to Mama, who I didn't see anywhere.

“They won't let us leave, will they?” Teddy asked.

“No. They want us as workers, although they also love to talk about breeding stock.”

Teddy noticeably stiffened. “Oh God. If any of them hurt you…”

I turned my back to our spy, doing whatever I could to make her job harder. “Don't worry, they're afraid of me. I think you've got the bigger problem. We'll need a vehicle, some food and water, some
Prolixin
, and a time when they won't notice us driving off, because they have guns. I think they must've stripped out an armory, because I'm sure these guns are—were—illegal. What do they call them…automatic weapons.”

Teddy nodded, and said, “Back behind the barn they've got three trucks and two SUVs. I think our friend Hank is in charge of the keys, though.”

“Great,” I said sarcastically.

Just then the music was turned down a notch, for which I was immeasurably grateful, and Mama made her appearance, waddling out from the house to a chorus.

“'Evening, Mama… Lookin' fine tonight, Mama…”

She took a seat in a big cushioned redwood deck chair, and was immediately served a big plate of meat. Before she tucked into it, she bent her head and clasped her hands.

“Dear Lord…”

The rest of them echoed, “Dear Lord…”

Dear Lord is right.

I don't mind telling you that I'm pretty disappointed in God. He's let us down big, and I've got a word or two for Him when we finally meet. These guys think I've got a problem with foul language now? Wait until they hear what I'd unleash on the Big Daddy upstairs.

In the meantime, I wasn't about to bow my head and go along with their little Sunday school meeting. I just hoped they wouldn't start speaking in tongues and pulling out rattlesnakes to kiss.

Mama led them through their little prayer, and when they finished she called out, “Now let's eat!” They whooped and hollered again, the music went back on (almost making me sorry they'd stopped the prayer), and food was passed out.

I was about to wander off and see if I could get Teddy and I some bread or whatever, but Mama spotted us and waved us over. I wanted to just flip her the bird, but figured we'd better go.

We walked up, and she indicated a couple of smaller chairs nearby. “Pull up a seat. Didn't you get yourselves somethin' to eat?”

“We're vegetarians,” I told her. I'd decided if it was good enough for Teddy (and pissed off Mama in the process), it was good enough for me.

She laughed so hard her face turned red. “Well, you better change that little habit right now, honey, because beef is mainly what we got here, in case you hadn't noticed. 'Course for most folks that's a big incentive to work harder.”

I wanted to say, “I'll bet it is,” but just smiled instead.

She took a bite of bloody steak, and I nearly hurled as she spoke around the mouthful of flesh. “I hear you did good out on the greenhouse today.”

I shrugged.

“'Course I also hear you damn near broke Moose's foot.”

“He asked for it,” I said.

“Now, girl,” she said, waggling a chubby finger at me, “he was just
playin
', like men do. I can't have you
goin
' 'round
beatin
' on all my men. I need 'em to work.”

“Then tell them to leave me alone,” I said, quite reasonably, I thought.

Apparently she didn't agree. She actually put down her knife and fork and swallowed the meat she'd been chewing, so I knew this was serious. “Ashley, honey, you don't seem to understand. This is your home now. We're your kin, your family. You'll be seeing all of us every day, for an awful lot of days to come. I know we're not what you're used to, out there in California. We're not fancy folk with big degrees and books and funny ideas about God and such. But we've got a real shot at a future. We got food, we got oil, we got little ones on the way. We even plan on trying to find something we can make to replace the
Prolixin
, since we know our supply will run out or expire soon. We're not stupid. You might even learn to like us—but you gotta give us a chance first. Now what do you say?”

She smiled at me in what she obviously hoped was an encouraging, maternal way, but all I could see was her fat cheeks and a smear of meat juice on part of her chin.

“What about my friend Teddy?” I asked, gesturing at him.

“Well, of course, he's welcome here, too. We don't even mind that he's…you know…” She actually dropped down to this silly whisper, “…
black
.”

“If you don't mind, then why bring it up?”

“You didn't answer my question, Ashley,” she said. “Are you willing to give us a chance?”

“What if we try it and don't like it?” I asked.

“Well,” she said, her eyes narrowing to little pig-like slits, “I'm sure Johnny would be more than happy to be in charge of
tyin
' you up in the barn again.”

Just then I saw Johnny standing ten feet away; one side of his head was still bandaged. When he caught my eye, he winked at me.