Lucky Penny (51 page)

“People don’t do it like pigs, or horses, or cows, or dogs,” he told her.

“They don’t?”

“No, damn it, they don’t.” His blue eyes swam in her vision. “No wonder you’re nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.”

He reared back to search her gaze. His firm mouth tipped in a grin. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re a lousy liar?”

Brianna touched her fingertips to his jaw. “Okay, I’m a tiny bit nervous, but only because I’m not sure what to expect and I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Shamrock, you could never disappoint me.” He rolled to one side and gathered her into his arms. “Never in a million years.”

Brianna rested her head on his shoulder. Her hand lay at the center of his chest, and she could feel the steady thrum of his heart against her palm. When he spoke, she felt the vibration. “We need to back up a bit and start over. And before we discuss the birds and the bees, I’d like to go back in time to that night by the fire when I asked who the bastard was who made you so wary of men. You gave me a blanket answer, saying it was nearly every man you’d ever met, or something like that.”

Brianna sighed and closed her eyes. She’d never spoken to anyone about those days right after Moira’s death, but somehow, with David, the words unlocked within her, and talking about it was easier. She told him about Daphne’s infancy and how she had developed colic.

“She cried incessantly, and the owner of the tenement building kicked me out. I tried to find another room, but everyone took one look at my screaming baby and turned me away.”

David ran his hand into her hair. She loved the feeling of his hard, warm fingers against her scalp. “Ah, Shamrock, it must have been sheer hell. Why didn’t you just go back to the orphanage? I’m sure the sisters would have welcomed both of you with open arms.”

“Of course they would have.” Brianna sighed. “The nuns loved Moira and me. I know they would have adored Daphne, too. But I promised Moira that I’d raise her baby as my own, and I feared that I would lose control over
Daphne if I went back to the orphanage. I would have had to work somewhere else in order to earn enough money to cover her needs, and most jobs didn’t pay very much, so I would have needed two positions to support her. She would have seen me rarely. And she was so beautiful, David. You just can’t imagine how perfect she was. What if a couple had seen her and wanted to adopt her? I was terrified of that possibility because I wasn’t really her mother—the good sisters knew that, and I had no legal rights, plus I had little by way of money to recommend me as her guardian. Even the sisters, as much as they loved me, would have felt that their first responsibility was to the child. If a well-heeled couple had wanted Daphne, they might have decided that Daphne would be better off with them than with me.”

David’s arms tightened around her. “I didn’t think of that at all. Dumb question. Naturally you were afraid to go back there, even though it was your only safe haven. Damn, Shamrock, you must have been scared half out of your mind.”

“It was a frightening time. I knew Daphne would die if I didn’t find shelter for her, and sometimes when I felt utterly hopeless, I almost broke my promise to Moira and went back to the orphanage. It was winter in Boston, and she was so tiny. I remember walking the streets, trying to think what to do. I needed a job, but I had no one to look after my baby if I found one, and I couldn’t leave her alone.” She fiddled with one of his shirt buttons. “Do you believe that God reaches down sometimes in answer to our prayers?”

“I do. Sometimes I don’t get the answer I want, but then later, it turns out to be the best thing that ever could have happened.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “That day as I rode toward Glory Ridge, I prayed that Daphne wouldn’t be my child and I’d be free to head home the next morning, no strings attached. Then, the instant I saw her, I
knew
she was mine. Or at least I thought she was. There was no way I could ride away and leave her, and you were part of the package.
That
ended up being the most wonderful gift God has ever given me—meeting you, coming to love
you. I’m more glad than I can say that he knew better than I did what was good for me.”

Tears filled Brianna’s eyes even as she smiled. “I prayed for a miracle that day. The rent was due the following Monday morning, and I was a dollar short. Making so little per hour, I knew I couldn’t come up with it, so I prayed for a miracle. Not a big miracle, only a little one, and instead God sent me
you
.”

David snorted with laughter. The sound was contagious, and soon they lay wrapped in each other’s arms, laughing like fools. When the hilarity subsided, Brianna sighed and wiped her eyes. “I thought God had lost his mind, I truly did, but now, looking back on it, I know he answered my prayer with a wondrous miracle named David Paxton.”

“Ah, sweetheart. That makes two of us. Having you in my life is a miracle for me, too.” He lay quiet for a moment, toying with her hair. “Back to Boston when you were wandering the streets and praying for help. What kind of answer did God send you?”

“A job as a barmaid.”

“What?”

“I saw a sign on the door, and I was so desperate that I went in. The owner was a kindly, hunch-shouldered old fellow. A room came with the position. It was just off the main pub area and quite small, but it was warm and dry. Even more wonderful, the man loved babies and knew quite a lot more about them than I did. He was the father of seven and had twenty-three grandchildren. He said Daphne had colic because of the cow’s milk. He handed me money and told me where I could get goat’s milk. He also told me to stop off at the apothecary shop for some spirit of peppermint, which helps settle a baby’s stomach. I was afraid to leave Daphne with him, but he refused to let me take her back out into the freezing rain. I was terrified he might harm her, but he gave me no choice, so I left her with him. When I got back, he was waiting on tables with my baby sound asleep on his shoulder.

“Daphne seldom slept. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Come to find out, he’d dipped his finger in whiskey and let her suckle it off. He didn’t give her a lot, only enough to ease
her tummy pain, and she slept as if there was no tomorrow. When she woke up, I gave her warm water laced with drops of peppermint before I fed her the goat’s milk. She never cried with colic again.”

Brianna felt David’s mouth curve in a smile against her hair. “So you had a happy answer from God.” He waited a beat. “But I’ve got a bad feeling not all of it was good. Am I right?”

Brianna told him of the nights when she’d been attacked by bar patrons, and how the owner had clubbed them off to save her from being raped. Then she went on to tell him about looking in the classifieds for another position.

“When I saw Ricker’s job post, I thought it would be perfect. I could work and have Daphne with me in a home environment. He wanted an all-around housekeeper and tutor for his sons. I had helped teach at the orphanage as I grew older, but I didn’t know much about cooking. I had, however, worked doing meal preparation in the orphanage kitchen, and I figured I could learn about farm animals. He wanted a young widow, with or without a child. By then, I knew how vulnerable a single young woman was, so I decided to dream up an errant husband who might resurface at any time. Across the street from the bar, there was a hardware shop called David Saxton’s. I felt funny about using a real name for my fake husband, so I changed the last name to Paxton. Ricker lived in Colorado, so I thought he might like it if I had once lived in Colorado.”

“So you dreamed up a place called Taffeta Falls?”

Brianna could laugh about that now. “Actually, until I met a very rude, relentless desperado named David Paxton, no one ever asked me where my pretend husband’s ranch had been located.” She sighed. “With my trumped-up qualifications, I got the position with Ricker. He sent traveling funds for me and Daphne. I took some of my money to buy a wedding band at a pawn shop, and off I went to Glory Ridge, with my story well memorized.”

“And then all didn’t go well.”

She smiled at the memory. “I burned the food I tried to cook. I was terrified of the cow. The chickens pecked my hands bloody. I’m certain Charles would have fired me if he
hadn’t been worried about tossing a young woman and baby out on the streets in the dead of winter. He’s a horrible man who used to whip his boys until they bled. But he worried about appearances and what people in town would think if he threw me out. I worked hard to learn how to do everything, and he worked equally hard at getting me to warm his bed. He would corner me when I least expected it, and one time I almost didn’t get away. After that, I always carried a knife in my skirt pocket, buried deep in a potato so I wouldn’t cut myself accidentally, and the next time he came after me, I put the blade to his throat.”

“Sweet Christ.”

Brianna smiled slightly. “I sharpened that knife every night after supper. He knew he’d be a dead man if he ever tried to touch me again. I also kept a chair wedged under my bedroom doorknob at night. We got along well enough after that, but he never turned loose of the idea of getting rid of me. I was a sore disappointment because I spurned his advances. He made me write letters once a week to my husband, David Paxton, who mined for gold in Denver. He dictated what I was to say, and I could only pray there was no one in Denver with the same name.”

David chuckled. “There wasn’t, but he did live thirty miles south of there.”

“Yes, well, for a good many years, he never surfaced. After I became a good cook and farm helper, Charles resigned himself to keeping me on and went to town once a week to take care of his manly needs. During that time, he only occasionally insisted that I write to my husband, begging him to come for me and our daughter. Then, suddenly, he went to town more often and started making me write once a week again. He’d met a woman he wanted to marry.”

“And when he got hitched, he finally booted you and Daphne out.”

“Yes. That was frightening. I’d saved a bit over the years at Ricker’s, so I was able to rent an attic room in the boardinghouse and purchase all the little things Daphne and I needed to call it home. She was old enough by then to be left alone. I hated doing that—leaving her, I mean—but necessity dictated. I did odd jobs, got hired to clean the restaurant
at night, and landed a position with Abigail sewing.” Brianna curled closer to David’s warmth. “Adam Parks, the restaurateur, was supposedly a happily married man, but he had a wandering eye. He often returned to the restaurant late at night to bedevil me. One night, I clouted him on the head with a frying pan.”

David said nothing for so long that Brianna wondered if he’d fallen asleep. “So tell me, Shamrock, how come you stifle your true nature, turn up your nose at nonsense, and always try so hard to be a perfect lady?”

“I promised.” Brianna’s throat went tight and scratchy. “When Moira was dying, I swore to raise Daphne for her. From the time we were little, Moira was a perfect lady, and I always fell short. When she drew her last breath and I took Daphne from her arms, I knew I needed to become like my twin in order to raise her daughter properly.”

Again, David was quiet for a long while. Then he said, “So you stifle Brianna and try to be Moira.”

“Brianna made stupid mistakes. She was rebellious and selfish. In the end, she was responsible for her sister’s death. I was glad to tell her good-bye. All she brought was pain and suffering.”

“Why do you think Moira entrusted you with her baby, Shamrock?”

“Because we were twins, and Moira knew I’d love Daphne as much as she would.”

“Did you ever stop to think maybe it was because you were all the things Moira wished she could be?”

Brianna lay still, thinking back. “She used to say we were incomplete without each other, that she was the calm, sensible one, and I was the adventurous, brave one. Together we created a perfect balance and could do anything.”

“So when Moira died, you decided to be like her, and in the doing, you abandoned the perfect balance.”

Brianna had never thought of it that way. David cuddled her close. “There’s nothing wrong with trying to copy Moira’s ladylike behavior, but if you toss away all of Brianna, you’re a lopsided person. You need to show Daphne how to be a lady, but you also need to show her that having fun and
laughing and being silly aren’t wrong. Otherwise, you’re raising her to be half of what she should be.”

Brianna felt a moment of panic. “I don’t know how to be Brianna anymore, David. She was wild, irresponsible, selfish, and thoughtless. I’m not sure I even want to be that person again.”

“Ah, but without her, the Moira you’re pretending to be is a wet blanket.”

“A what?”

He nuzzled her ear. “A wet blanket, what you toss on a flame to put it out. Life is no fun without a little fire, Shamrock, and as a kid growing up with Moira, you were the fire. You owe it to Daphne to let her come to know both you and her mother. Otherwise, she’ll never become the wonderful woman she should be. Does that make any sense?”

To Brianna, it made a horrible kind of sense. “She’s rejecting Moira and becoming me,” she whispered. “I see it in her all the time—headstrong, rebellious, always questioning the why of everything.”

“The only reason she rebels is because you’ve forgotten how to have fun.” He pressed his face against her hair, as if to soften the blow of those words. “In the morning, I’m going to teach you how to let loose again, to let the real Shamrock come through, but for tonight, I have another kind of lesson in mind.” His voice had gone husky. “You ready to learn?”

“What are you going to teach me?” she asked.

“How to make love, sweetheart. No taking, no force, just sweet, fabulous sharing. You ready to go there with me?”

There was no other man on earth she wanted to be her guide. “Yes, I’m ready. Still a little nervous, but, yes, I am ready.”

He shifted, let go of her and sprang off the bed, exhibiting that incredible strength and agility she admired. Holding out a big hand to her, he said, “Of your own free will, come to me.”

Brianna struggled to a sitting position, held out her hand, and with that fabulous anchor of steely weight, he lifted her to her feet, the forward momentum carrying her into his arms. She instantly felt at home against him. His
heat surrounded her. His strength buoyed her. She knew in that moment that she’d never feel afraid of a man again, because David would be there to protect her.