Authors: Jack Vance
Myron performed a crisp bow. “As you like.”
At Flajaret Dame Hester met an off-worlder named Marko Fassig, an engaging young scapegrace with burly shoulders, a bushy mustache, and soft-brown eyes. His witticisms and general gallantry impressed Dame Hester to such an extent that she hired him as purser aboard the
Glodwyn
, despite Myron’s strong objections.
When the
Glodwyn
landed at Port Tanjee, Myron discharged Fassig from his post, and ordered him off the ship within the hour. But half an hour later it was Myron himself who, in a morose mood, departed the ship carrying his suitcase, with Dame Hester’s final remarks still ringing in his ears.
Myron wandered into town and took lodging for the night at the Rambler’s Rest rooming house. During the evening he visited the Owlswyck Inn, where he encountered the crew of the freighter
Glicca
, consisting of Captain Adair Maloof, Chief Steward Isel Wingo, Chief Engineer Fay Schwatzendale, and Hilmar Krim, the supercargo. Each man contrasted markedly with his fellows, but Krim most of all. He was tall, gaunt, with a high forehead, a curious little mat of black hair, a long chin and hooded black eyes. Krim was given to dogmatic opinions, which his fellows never troubled to contradict. Myron learned that Krim was a dedicated student of jurisprudence, and in fact was composing a three-volume analysis of Gaean law. On this particular evening, Krim was in good spirits and drank several tankards of Old Gaboon. When the dancing started, Krim jumped out upon the floor and began to dance an energetic loose-legged strut. A portly well-dressed gentleman with a fine ginger-colored mustache also came out upon the floor, to perform what was known as ‘The Chicken-thief’s Trot’ — a long loping prance, with body leaning far backwards and legs kicking out high to the front. The two came into contact; during the altercation which followed Krim committed several offenses against local law. When the constable on duty sought to restrain him, he aggravated his offenses by kicking the ginger-mustached man in the shins. This gentleman chanced to be the district magistrate.
The Magistrate hobbled to a chair on the dais and seated himself, while the sergeant of the guard stepped forward and cited the entire list of Krim’s infractions. Krim foolishly tried to argue jurisprudence using the terms ‘fat lummox’ and ‘dunderhead’: a new transgression of the local anti-defamation code.
Krim was brought forward and arraigned on the spot. The magistrate put on his judicial hat, and took Krim’s case under consideration. He now seemed cool and impartial, as befitted his position, and he pronounced Krim’s sentence in an even voice: “Sir, you have made several interesting legal points, but they fly a bit wide of the mark. My duty is both to better your legal understanding and to shield the innocent folk of this city against acts of mindless violence. Therefore, I sentence you to a year of educational exercises in the rock quarry.”
Krim tried to utter further legalities, and to introduce apposite precedents into the case, but he was immediately marched from the inn and hustled off to the quarry.
After a decorous interval Myron applied to Captain Maloof for the vacant position. Captain Maloof ruminated for a moment. He said: “The position is not simple and demands all the resources of a competent man.”
“I believe that I am that man,” declared Myron boldly.
“We shall see,” said Captain Maloof. “First, let me ask: are you familiar with the ten primary digits of the numerical scheme?”
“Yes sir. So I am!”
“And you understand their usual employment?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You are able to read written documents and translate them into the spoken tongue?”
“Yes, sir.”
“If hired, would you object to balancing your accounts more or less accurately?”
“No sir; not at all.”
Captain Maloof gave a sigh of relief. “Your qualifications seem to be superb. You are hired.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Not at all,” said Captain Maloof. “While I do not want to bring poor Krim any unnecessary tribulation, it will be something of a relief to have him shifting large rocks, rather than integers in the ledgers. Your main challenge, or so I believe, will be adapting to Krim’s intuitive methods of accounting. You may appear aboard the
Glicca
tomorrow morning.”
In the morning Myron departed the Rambler’s Rest and took his breakfast at an open-air café to the side of the plaza. Then he walked under the cloud-trees to the spaceport, passed through the terminal and found the
Glicca
a hundred yards out on the field.
Myron climbed aboard. Captain Maloof showed him his quarters and explained the scope of his duties.
Later in the day eleven pilgrims presented themselves to Captain Maloof, requesting passage to Impy’s Landing on the world Kyril where they would undertake a five-year march around the planet. Captain Maloof explained that the
Glicca
could convey them to Coro-Coro on Fluter, but thereafter they must trans-ship to Kyril. After argument, the pilgrims reluctantly agreed to Captain Maloof’s stipulations.
There was further contention in regard to the fares. Kalash, the Perrumpter of the group, insisted upon a religious discount. Captain Maloof responded with a sad shake of his head. “If your panel of deities wished you a quick and comfortable transfer to Kyril, it would have been arranged by divine fiat.”
Kalash made a final attempt to explain the seeming paradox: “The gods move in mysterious ways.”
Maloof nodded sagely. “Agreed! Still, either you or the gods must pay the proper fare.”
The Perrumpter had nothing more to say.
The pilgrims trooped aboard the ship, and were shown to their quarters by Wingo and Myron.
At sunset they set off on a route which would take them from world to world, through regions obscure and remote, visited only by tramp freighters like the
Glicca
. As the days passed, Myron became acquainted with his shipmates, and the pilgrims settled into routines: drinking tea, criticizing the cuisine, performing rites, gambling.
The
Glicca
cruised from port to port, controlled by bills of lading and cargo destinations. At Girandole on the world Fiametta, the
Glicca
landed beside the
Fontenoy
, a large space-yacht almost as grand as the
Glodwyn
. The master was Joss Garwig, Director of Acquisitions for the Pan-Arts Museum at Duvray on the world Alcydon. He was accompanied by his wife Vermyra, his son Mirl and his clever daughter Tibbet. During the night dark deeds occur, and despite horrid circumstances, Myron noticed that Tibbet was as pretty as she was clever. The next day, both the
Glicca
and the
Fontenoy
shifted a thousand miles to Sweetfleur. Here, a carnival of many dimensions, known as the ‘Lalapalooza’, was in progress. Myron and Tibbet eluded Vermyra and visited ‘The Tunnel of Love’. They were not seen again until late in the evening, and were convinced that they were in love. It was a sad-sweet discovery, since the Gaean Reach was long and wide, and they could not guess when they would meet again. Tibbet instructed Myron to write her at her home near Duvray. She told him: “If you do not write I will know that you have forgotten me.”
The crew of the
Glicca
discovered a pavilion of yellow silk, where Moncrief the Mouse-rider and his troupe were bamboozling the public with zeal and finesse. Schwatzendale looked on with keen interest. This was the selfsame Moncrief who had at one time taken almost fifty sols from him at a game of Cagliostro.
At the end of the day’s business Moncrief took Captain Maloof aside and arranged transport for himself and his troupe to Cax, on Blenkinsop.
On the following morning the newcomers boarded the
Glicca
: a party of six, including Flook, Pook and Snook, three enchanting young maidens of lively disposition; Siglaf and Hunzel, a pair of truculent warrior-women from the Bleary Hills of Numoy; and Moncrief himself: all in all, a picturesque company.
The
Glicca
departed Fiametta and continued along its route, stopping by the four dreary spaceports of Mariah and departing in nervous haste. Ahead lay the long run to Fluter and fabled Coro-Coro, then on to Cax.
Chapter I
Excerpt from the article ‘Fluter: World Of Glamour’, from the periodical
Touristic Topics
.
There is nothing to be gained by describing the climate of Fluter: it is perfect, and as such it is taken for granted, as are most of the other aspects of this magnificent world. The landscapes are as sunny and verdant as a view across lost Arcady.
The people of Fluter share the attributes of their wonderful world. They seem to dance through life to the measures of music they alone can hear: women of many talents, noble philosophers, solitary vagabonds wandering the lonely places. In general the folk of Fluter are friendly and gay, and anxious to appear beautiful in the eyes of the off-worlders, whom they revere perhaps unreasonably. In the main they are addicted to the joys of feasting, music, star-naming, sailing the wild seas, and love-making in a style known as ‘ingesting the perfumed flowers’.
NOTE: The intelligent reader will quickly observe that the article quoted above is a masterpiece of hyperbole; doubtless the writer was never any closer to Fluter than his local amusement park. Only the most naive of readers, upon exposure to the article, will set off pell-mell for Fluter hoping to find ‘ineffable glamour and daily episodes of erotic hi-jinks’.
The following facts should be noted. The scenery of Fluter is very pleasant. The best hotel in Coro-Coro is the O-Shar-Shan, but there is no running hot water. The girls are neither seductive nor particularly amiable. Arrivals at the spaceport are allowed visitor’s permits of thirty days duration.
1
The geography of Fluter as seen from space was extraordinary, and perhaps unique — certainly within the bounds of the Gaean Reach. In cooling from its primal melt the world had shrunk, squeezing up the crust into nine enormous anticlines running north and south across all of one hemisphere, leaving the opposite hemisphere a flat peneplain. In the course of time the sea rose and the rock-folds became nine narrow continents, with shallow seas between. The opposite hemisphere was drowned beneath the waters of a vast featureless ocean.