Lust and Lies (The Jamie Reynolds Chronicles #1) (6 page)

“Jamie, let me ask you the same question Toni asked me this morning.”

“What?”

“Do you believe in true love?”

I just froze for a minute. My answer to this question was going to make or break what I had with Toni. “I don’t know, Jonathan, I am so confused.”

“JR, I asked a question and it’s a yes or no answer. Do you believe in true love?”

“My whole life, I dreamed of someone like Toni, and I always believed a dream is just that, a dream. I never planned for it to come true.”

“Then you answered my question.”

“No, Jonathan, I didn’t. I say I’m confused because if you asked me that question a month ago, I would have said no. I’ve been through some bad relationships and my heart is very heavy, and I did away with love, true love, and happily ever after a long time ago. But now Toni has come into my life and changed my whole outlook on things. I really do care about him, but I still have doubts, and because I have doubts and my heart is not one hundred percent pure and open to this, then I can’t answer the question.”

“I understand, JR. I care for you guys both, and I don’t want to see either one of you getting hurt, but I know you, JR.” He paused for a second.

“Jonathan, what is that supposed to mean? Why do you keep saying that?”

“It means I know you better than you think, and I know you’re scared. You always said that you hang around guys too much and you feel they messed up your mind. You think like us, JR, you think like a guy. Guys get scared too. Don’t hurt him. You don’t know him like I do. He never talks about any chick like this; he hasn’t even talked about you in any sexual manner. He has fallen for you big time. He called you his soul mate and he truly believes you are the one.”

“Did he say that?”

“He did, but he didn’t have to. The last couple of weeks he has been glued to the phone every day and night, talking to you. Man, he doesn’t even like talking on the phone. He has been so pleasant and laid back for the past couple of weeks not like his usual asshole self. He’s always talking ’bout you, and I hate to see him get hurt.”

“What about me, what about my feelings?”

“That’s what I’m saying. Don’t hurt him, because when the situation between you two gets real serious, it’s going to scare you shitless. You already said you want out. Just like a guy, you’re trying to take the easy way out and run and hide from a good thing. All I’m saying, JR, is to follow your heart and stick this one out to the end. It might be the happily ever after you always dreamed about.”

Beep, beep
… “Hey, Jonathan, hold on a sec. That’s Toni on the other line. I’ll get him off.”

“No, JR, take the call. We’ll finish talking later.”

“Wait, before you go, I know Toni is your friend and so am I. Can you not tell him what me and you talked about?”

“I got you, JR, holla at me later.”

“Okay, thanks, Jonathan, talk to you later,” I said as I clicked over to accept my next line.

“Hey, you, what up?”

“Nothing, but my feelings for you,” Toni said.

“I just got off the phone with Jonathan.”

“Hey, what did he say?”

“You tell me,” I said, sounding like Jonathan. “What did you guys talk about this morning?”

“What did he say?”

“He said you said some powerful stuff about us.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Oh, okay, we were just talking, you know how guys do.”

“Well, whatever you said, I heard it was about me.”

“Maybe.”

“I know Jonathan, and I’m starting to get to know you better, so I guess you both like me, so I guess you guys said some good things.”

“I more than like you.”

The phone went silent on both ends; I had to think of something quick to say back to him. “You are so sweet.” So sweet, damn, that was stupid, I thought to myself.

“No, you’re sweet, you are my moon.”

“And you are my sun,” I said, cutting him off.

“Well, I was on a quick break. I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, have a good day at work.”

“You do the same.”

Moments later I received a text from Toni.

“U are a youthful soul, with a neon glow, a strong mind with vision so bright it is reflective beyond the moon’s eye… infinity and as attractive at first daylight.”

“Wow, honey, that was beautiful. Thank you.” I wasn’t really into poetry, but Toni loved it, so I was just touched he thought of me this way.

“I just text where you live… in my heart.”

“Babe, you are so sweet.”

“It’s the truth, our connection is very strong and I hope you’re feeling it too.”

“I do,” was all I could text back.

“I was watching Ghost this morning when I was getting ready for work, have you seen that movie before?”

I had to laugh to myself because I was a production junkie and had watched all of the classics.

“I have, it’s a good movie.”

“Ditto,” Toni replied out of nowhere.

I had to stop texting; it was getting too deep. “Alright, I got to go,” I said as I flashed backed on what ditto meant in the movie.

I knew we were going to have a lot to talk about tonight. I thought I was falling for this guy, but it had only been two weeks.

I tried to go on with my day, but I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t help but think maybe this was the one.

He can’t be the one
, I thought to myself. “Well, the timing is off. I just moved from Atlanta and I have no luck with men. I’m in a new city; maybe I need to talk to Toni about us seeing other people. This long-distance relationship just can’t work. I don’t even have time for a regular relationship. Okay, Jamie, clear your head. You have to get some work done.” I decided to get up and stretch to regain my focus.

Finally, I made it through the day. And as hard as it was, I didn’t think about Toni that much. Maybe because I lowered the volume on my incoming texts. I felt bad. I could just imagine the number of texts he had sent.

***

On the subway ride home, I decided to retrieve my messages. “Not bad,” I said out loud as I noticed I had only missed five texts and three voice messages. I began to read all of Toni’s texts one by one.

Text #1

Hey you, just thinkin bout you. I hope you are having a gd. I will call you later.

Text #2

Hey, baby, work is crazy. Man, I hate this job sometimes. I haven’t heard back from you. I hope everything is ok. Call me when you get a chance.

Text #3

I guess you on the train or maybe in a meeting. I am on lunch and was desperate to call you. I hope whatever Jonathan told you didn’t scare you off. I guess we can talk about it later.

Text #4

1 hour to go before I get off work. I am so ready to go. I was thinking of getting a bite to eat tonight after work. I will call you later.

Text #5

I am off work now and I am not getting something to eat. I forgot I took out some salmon and I am going to cook that for dinner.

Man, a guy that can cook is so sexy
, I thought to myself as I began to smile. He was eating home-cooked food and I was about to grab a turkey sandwich from Quiznos. Man, I couldn’t wait until I found a house and moved out of my mom’s house. I had been living on my own for seven years now; it was hard to move back home with your mother after being on your own for so long. Then my phone flashed a new text from Toni. “Ditto,” was all it said.

That word had me all messed up, and then I looked up and realized I missed my stop.

“Damn,” I said as I jumped up and waited in front of the subway door so I could get off at the next stop. “Oh well, it’s only a few more blocks to Quiznos, the walking will be good exercise.”

Ring, ring.
My phone started going off. Damn, it was Toni. I guess I couldn’t avoid him anymore, I said to myself as I picked up the phone.

“Hey you,” I answered the phone, trying to sound excited to talk to Toni.

“Hey, JR, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing, I’m just getting off the train, about to go to Quiznos and get—”

“Let me guess,” Toni interrupted. “A turkey sandwich, light mayo on the left side of the wheat bread and light mustard, no, excuse me, spicy mustard on the other side.”

“Cute, very funny.”

“Oh, I’m not finished. A little bit of lettuce on top or, as you call it, salad.”

“Hey, I said that one time. I’m going to get off the phone with you when I order my food from now on. Besides, I really don’t eat out a lot, as I try to eat home-cooked food and not all of this junk stuff.”

“Oh, baby, I’m just playing with you. It’s cute you say Quiznos is junk food. How was your day today? I hope it was good.”

“It was good, I got a lot accomplished.”

“Thanks to me.”

“Thanks to you? What?”

“Yeah, you got a lot accomplished because you wasn’t calling or texting me back,” Toni said, sounding defeated.

“Babe, that’s not true. I was on and off the train today and I was running around Manhattan, getting lost.”

“Man, you are a bad liar,” Toni said, shutting me up.

“I hate when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“When you say I’m lying… I really did get lost in Manhattan. I was so focused on finding my way around I wasn’t paying attention to my phone,” I said, sounding defensive, but he was right.

“Baby, you always get lost… you know you wasn’t lost, you was just taking a detour.”

“I like that word; I was just taking a detour.”

Before I knew it, it was 1:20 a.m.

“Toni, it’s getting late.”

“I know, honey, but I just like talking to you and hearing your voice.”

“Ditto.”

There was a short pause between Toni and me.

I was a little nervous; maybe I shouldn’t have said ditto. After all, in the movie
Ghost
it was the way Demi Moore and Bruce Willis said they loved each other.

Finally Toni spoke and broke the silence. “That’s a good movie.”

“Yeah, it is. I loved the loft they lived in, in the movie.”

“Damn, I thought the same thing when I was watching it today.”

“I tell you, great minds think alike.”

“I knew we were meant to be together… do you want to know what I told Jonathan this morning?”

“Yeah, what did you tell him?” I asked, trying to sound interested in hearing it again.

“I told him that you were very special and I think I’ve found my soul mate.”

It didn’t sound so sweet and sincere when Jonathan said it.

“JR, I can’t stop thinking about you. I dream about you, I dream about us. It’s crazy, I know, because it’s only been a few weeks, but I know myself and I have never felt like this before.”

“Toni, I want to say I feel the same way, but the way I feel about you, the way I feel about us, is so crazy. I think about you all the time as well. I miss you when I get off the phone. I think crazy thoughts on a daily basis. I often wonder if moving to New York was the right move. I wonder what would have happened between us if I had stayed. Would I feel the same way?” I said, just laying everything on the table over the phone.

“I feel the same way, babe. Let me ask you this question, do you believe in true love?”

Like déjà vu because Jonathan just asked me that same question this morning.

“You know, before I met you, I would have said no, I don’t believe in true love, love at first sight or even soul mates, but the way you make me feel every day is different. We connect in a way that no one has ever connected. I swear I can feel your thoughts, your actions, but I often wonder if it’s because it’s over the phone and not in person. I can’t honestly explain it to you, let alone myself.”

“You don’t have to explain or understand. That’s the beauty of love.”

Love, I repeated silently to myself, and then I was just silent while Toni went on and on about love. I was still very lost and confused, but Toni sounded so confident in all he was saying, so I just listened.

We Need to Talk…

Ring
,
ring
,
ring
, the phone rang. I ran over and opened the phone without even looking at the caller ID.

“Yo, JR. what’s up?”

Damn, I thought to myself. “Hey, Terry, what’s up?”

“Nothing, I see you’ve been avoiding me.”

“You always think someone is avoiding you. What’s good?”

“Nothing, man, I’m just calling to see what’s up.”

“Oh, everything is cool, just trying to get settled.”

“What, you moved already?”

“Yup, I’m up here, but I’m still looking for a house in New Jersey.”

“I guess you were really serious about moving back to NY?”

“Man, T, I’ve been telling you for months I was moving back up north and you didn’t believe me. Soon, in a couple of months, I will no longer be an Atl-aliens or a BK Chick, and I will be a Jersey Girl.”

“You crazy, JR. I was just calling to see what’s up. When you coming back down?”

“I don’t know; I have some work back in the A that I may consider, so I may be down soon.”

“Man, if you need anything, even a ride from the airport, hit me up.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’m good. I figure I’ll rent a car while in the A or Angela will scoop me up from the airport.” I wasn’t a hundred percent comfortable yet around Terry, so I was trying to spend less one-on-one time with him.

“So, what are you working on?” Terry asked.

“Now, you know I can’t tell you.”

“Oh, I see how you are, keeping secrets from your best friend now, I see. You Hollywood.”

I guess we were back to being friends, I thought to myself.

“You crazy, but I learned how to be Hollywood from the best actor in all the world. I would like to present the Oscar to Terry Michael Wright.”

“Thank you, thank you, first and foremost I would like to thank God, then my mother and father, I love you guys…” As he began jokingly giving his Oscar acceptance speech, I was just happy to get my best friend back. I missed him. We hadn’t really spoken much since the night when he lost his mind and his friendship with me.

***

“Yo, JR, I am reminding you again.”