Lust (The Stripped Bare Series Book 1) (9 page)

Max

Holy shit! That was amazing. Making my way to the bathroom, I open the door and enter one of the stalls. I need to be alone right now. My heart is thudding in my chest; it feels like it is about to explode. What am I gonna do? I knew that I was doomed the minute that I saw her, but now…now I’m totally screwed. I just can’t do this to my best mate, it would crush him to know that I’ve deceived him like this. I’m such an idiot. Punching the stall door, hard, I hear someone shout on the other side. I ignore their groans and lean my head against the cool wood. The only thing I can think of right now is her. Her soft, pink lips touching me, the way her tongue intertwined with mine inside her mouth, the way she tasted and smelled. It took all the power I had not to drag her out of that club and fuck her in the nearest place I could find. Gathering myself together, I go to see if I can find Dexter, looking everywhere before giving up and going outside.

“Hey, Joey. You seen Dex?” I call on my way out.

“Yeah, mate. He left about fifteen minutes ago with some bird with big knockers.” I roll my eyes before turning around to find a taxi. Well, he soon got over Jasmine, why in the hell am I bothered about what he thinks? It’s not like he loved her, he’d only known her less than two weeks. I go to turn back around to find Jasmine and take her out of here, but my conscience once again stops me. I have to see where the land lies before I go any further. If I bide my time, maybe Dexter will be fine with it.

The next couple of weeks go really fast. I have my usual routine. I get up nip to see the delivery arriving at the club, go to see Ma, go home and get changed, then head back to the club for the rest of the night. That first night that I saw Jasmine, after the kiss, it was awkward. She wouldn’t look at me, but every now and then I’d catch her staring at me when she thought that I wasn’t looking. I loved the way her cheeks flamed up when I caught her staring at me. She’d give me a small smile, then carry on with her job. I haven’t spoken to her since that night, though. I don’t know what to say. I need to speak to Dexter but it’s never the right time.

Tomorrow he is going away to Yorkshire to visit his parents. They moved there not long after we got the flat together. They come and visit once a year but Dex likes to go and spend a couple of weeks with them once a year, too. I really need to talk to him before he goes, but I just don’t know what to say to him.

“Hey, man, ya fancy a couple of beers tonight before I leave in the morning?” I’m sitting at the kitchen table when he enters the room. I’ve just finished making a sandwich, about to take a bite. Placing the sandwich back on the plate, I look up at him.

“Yeah, sure. It’s my night off. Where d’ya wanna go?” Hopefully, I’ll get a chance to talk to him this evening.

“We can go down The Lion?” I screw my nose up, hoping that Julz isn’t working tonight. “Or, somewhere else if you don’t wanna go there?”

“Nah, mate, The Lion is fine. I’ve got some stuff to sort out this afternoon, I’ll be back by six.” He nods his head and exits the room, leaving me to enjoy my sandwich in peace.

Ma looked worse today, I’m so afraid that she won’t be around much longer. Her balance has completely gone now; she can’t stand without help. She has barely any functioning muscles left and her eyesight is deteriorating. I’m not sure what I’m going to do if anything happens to her. The doctor said she had another mini stroke in her sleep last week, which has caused more problems. If only there was something I could do to help her. I feel so useless, I’m meant to look after her. She looked after me for so long, it’s my turn now.

We arrive at The Lion around 8 p.m. Thankfully, Julz isn’t working. I haven’t told Dex about her, and after what I’m about to say, I don’t want him finding out.

“Two pints of Carling,” Dex tells the bartender as we walk in. Finding an empty table, I throw my coat onto the worn, tatty, old seat, before sitting down in a slump. “What’s up, mate? Ya look like shit.”

“Just Ma. She looks worse today.” Dex nods his head; he knows that I’m worried. I haven’t slept in a couple of days; thoughts of Jasmine have kept my mind from switching off. Between her and my mum, I’m a complete wreck.

“She’ll be okay, mate. Alison is a tough old bird. I’ll come with you to see her when I get back, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve visited.”

“Yeah, you know how much she loves you. Sh
e’
ll like that.” I think about how much Ma loves Dex. He was always round our house as a kid and Ma treated him like one of her own. He was always pulling some sort of practical joke on her and she just laughed it off.

“Why don’t you take some time off next week, come and see my folks with me?” I think about the possibility, Dex’s folks are great but I can’t leave Ma.

“I can’t, mate. You know Jake won’t let us both have time off together, and I can’t leave Ma alone. I might pop across on the bike for the day, though.” I smile at my best friend. I’m not sure I can tell him about Jasmine. He’s always been so loyal to me; he’s looked after me, my whole life. When my dad left he was there to stop me from going off the rails. When Ma got sick he was by my side helping me to deal with all the shit that I went through with my brother. I couldn’t ask for a better mate.

“Okay, just give me a bell.” He leans in closer to me. “D’ya think I should ask Jasmine out again when I get back? We’ve been talking a lot as friends. I thought, if I bide my time with her she’d change her mind. Ya know, when she got to know me more.” Putting my head in my hands, I lean down on the table in front of me. I thought he was over her. He’s had a string of naked women in my kitchen over the last few weeks. Shit!

“I think you should forget about her, she’s not worth the hassle. You can do better.” The words are out of my mouth before I’ve even had time to think. He nods his head and takes a swig of his pint.

“Yeah, you’re right. Plenty more pussy in the sea.”

“It’s fish.”

“Whatever.” He laughs; we finish our pints and make our way home.

“Hey, Ma. How’re ya feeling today?” She looks a bit better this morning. Her lifeless mousey blonde hair has a shine to it and her big brown eyes look brighter. I can tell she has been bathed this morning. She smells like flowers.

“I’m good, Son. How’re you?” She smiles and it makes my heart swell. She doesn’t smile much anymore; the stroke caused the muscles in her face to droop so I know it takes a lot of effort for her to even raise a small smile.

“I’m okay.” She gently lifts her head to look me in the eye. I take a seat down in front of her so that she doesn’t have to strain her neck.

“There’s something bothering you?” She’s always been intuitive.

“It’s nothing, Ma. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” I don’t want to worry her with my problems. If I tell her about Jasmine, she will get her hopes up. All she’s ever wanted is for me to find a nice girlfriend and settle down.

“Maddox, I know when something is bothering you. Tell me.” She never calls me by my full name, the only time she ever did that was when I was in trouble. It shocks me; no one has called me Maddox in a long time.

“I’m okay, Ma, honestly. Just summat I need to sort out, but it’ll be fine.”

“Is it a girl?” How the hell does she do that?

“Just drop it, Ma.”

“Max, I want you to talk to me like you used to. I hate that my illness has made you wary of talking to me properly.” She’s right; I’ve been keeping things from her lately. It’s not because I feel like I ca
n’
t talk to her anymore, its because I don’t want to get her hopes up or put more stress on her. We used to be really close. I’d tell her all my problems, even girl problems. We were like best friends at one point. But now, it’s so hard to discuss anything with her.

“There’s a girl at work.” She looks at me through dark slitted eyes.

“She’s not a dancer, Ma, she’s a waitress. We have a connection. Every time I see her, my heart feels like it’s gonna jump out of my chest. I’m being stupid, right?” She shifts her position on her chair, pressing the little button to help lift herself into a sitting position.

“So, what’s the problem? Does she feel the same way?”

“I think so.” Looking down at my fingers, I play with a piece of skin hanging off the side of my nail
.
“It’s Dexter, he likes her too. He asked her out while I was still in denial. Now, I can’t betray him like that.”

“Listen, I know you’re loyal to Dexter, he’s a good friend. If this girl turned him down because she likes you then you need to tell Dexter your feelings. He will understand. He’s a good boy.”

“I’m not sure he will. He’s going to ask her out again when he gets back from his folks
’
house.” I put my head in my hands. How has this become so messy?

“Talk to the girl. Talk to Dex. Lay your feelings out on the table. I know you like to keep your feelings and emotions hidden. Your big hard-man image doesn’t fool me. I know you, Maddox. I can see it in your eyes when you talk about her, you’re in love with her.” I look up into my mum’s big brown eyes. She’s wrong; it’s not love, it’s lust. I can’t be in love with her; I’ve only known her for a month. Looking at my watch, I stand up.

“I’ve got to go, Ma. I love you.” I lean in to kiss her forehead.

“Max, this could be your chance to find happiness. She could be your mermaid. Don’t let your stubbornness stop you from finding out.” I kiss her and walk away. She’s right; she’s always fucking right.