Lyon on a Leash (11 page)

But what about him? Can I give him what he needs? That was harder to answer. Whereas he fit in with her present plans, she wasn’t sure she would fit his. Falling in love wasn’t something she was interested in doing. The high-charge chemistry thing between them was more than enough for her.

“Thank you, Mistress. That was nice. You feel so good. It’s been a long time since I had the pleasure of being held,” Marcus said in a husky tone near her ear when the song ended.

Leaning back, her heartbeat stuttered at the vulnerability she saw in his eyes. “You’re welcome.” She spoke quickly to cover her reaction to him.

Heart racing, she moved from his arms. She hadn’t expected them to click so well, so fast. She needed space to think. Fatigue weighed her down. She was ready to leave. “I think now’s a good time to call it a night. We’ve stayed long enough, plus we have a long day tomorrow.”

He followed her off the dance floor as another slow song played. When she was seated, she noticed Em was dancing with both her boys and Bree danced with her handsome Latino. Warmth crept up her face. All that time, she hadn’t noticed anyone else in the room, let alone the dance floor. It was definitely time to call it a night.

“Do you have anything you need to get?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ve got a bag in a locker. Where are your things?”

“I’ve got a locker here somewhere, too. The card with the driver’s information is in my purse, along with my cell phone. Maybe we should say goodbye to Em and Bree first and then pick up our things. We can talk to the Chertiers on the way out.” She had no idea why her nerves were jumping with a vengeance, leaving her feeling off-kilter. Rest and time to reflect on her day was what she needed.

His gaze caught hers as he nodded.

She sensed he wanted to say something. “What?”

He cleared his throat. “This has been a phenomenal day and I want to thank you for it. I wish we could start the sessions now. I won’t get a lick of sleep just thinking about tomorrow.” He paused. “You are an awesome woman and I’m beyond happy you picked me. I promise not to let you down.”

Honeyed warmth spread through her. For a few seconds, she basked in it before it dimmed beneath the weight of truth. She couldn’t tell him that she wouldn’t let him down. Chances were, once he realized the limits she planned to place on their relationship, he’d be disappointed and not bother to give her a chance.

She pulled him close and held on tight. A sliver of fear ran through her. As his arms enfolded her, she was shaken with the knowledge of her own vulnerability. She liked Marcus more than she should. She had only herself to blame. After all, she’d spent hours researching every scrap of information the auctioneers provided. She’d liked him quite a bit before she ever met him.

She jerked back in denial.

His arms loosened but he didn’t release her.

“Back up,” she snapped.

His arms dropped immediately.

Conflicted, she stepped away and returned to her seat. Although she stared ahead, she registered nothing. The courtroom in her mind was in session and she was rifling through a lot of data to secure a verdict about her next move.

She liked Marcus. That in itself wasn’t bad. It could be seen as good. But he had the power to hurt her.
That’s bad
. When things got tough, he’d leave like everyone else had.
That’s worse
. But he liked her as well, her body argued. There was no getting around that fact. Maybe he would stay and they could work through some things.

This isn’t marriage. Just date him for a while before allowing him to come to Atlanta
. Her heart and stomach rebelled. The things she wanted him to do for her business required him nearby where she could watch over him. She could never open up, allow him to truly see her and do the work on her websites or books, if they didn’t live in the same place. Call them insecurities, doubts, or more weird quirks. But her creative work was an innate part of her that no one, other than agents or editors, had seen. Even her assistant would be shocked to know she was writing.

For her to engage in that level of exposure, it was all or nothing. Normally, she gave so little emotionally, it was nothing. This would be different. No need to act as though it wouldn’t. Plus, although Marcus would submit to her, he wasn’t passive. To keep him, she would need to bring more than her usual indifference into play. Marguerite would tell her she needed to be emotionally involved in the relationship.

Lord help her, she needed to try and give something.

“You see my iPad?” Angel asked the three women in their small group session. Vera didn’t bother to respond, since the woman held the device right in front of them. Madame Chertier and Mistress Almond, also known as Pam, both said yes.

“I own this. I don’t thank it for processing information, that’s what it’s supposed to do. I don’t give it time off or vacations. It’s mine to do with as I please. That’s the same way I see my submissives.”

And your point is
?

Ada had told Marcus that Angel had been required to attend this session as a condition for attending the auction. Vera waited for the Madame to correct Angel again. The two women had been butting heads the entire session. It was beyond irritating.

“What do you think about that, Rose?”

Vera inhaled and tried to think of a way to put a spin on objectification. “If Angel and her sub agree on that line of thinking, so be it. Some men have no problem with being treated as objects, some do. Even the iPad has to be recharged, or it dies and can no longer serve. There is always a minimum amount of care required for almost everything. As social creatures, most of us require some basics at one point or another. Human interaction, touch, a kind word or smile.” She shrugged, ignoring Angel’s pointed stare. “Personally, I’m not interested in the type of person who would allow me to treat him as though he were nothing. He is a reflection of me. That’s a simple by-product of any relationship. But everybody’s different.”

Madame Chertier nodded. “That’s the point I would make. Everybody’s different.” She looked at Angel. “You follow FemDom teachings and believe women are superior to men—”

“We are superior,” Angel interjected hotly.

“Rose, Pam, and I disagree. We believe everyone is equal but serve in different roles. Our belief is no more right or wrong than yours, Angel. There are no absolutes. There are men who believe in female superiority and relish those types of relationships. And other men, who know they are equal to women, yet choose to allow the female to lead. They are all men, worthy of our respect and admiration.” She looked at her watch. “We’re going to rejoin the men and then break for lunch. This afternoon is our last session, and I hope that all of you will join my husband and me for dinner when we are done.”

Ten minutes later, Marcus and Vera walked a couple of blocks to a nice sandwich shop for lunch. The sidewalk was crowded and a man bumped into Vera.

“Hey,” Marcus yelled at the guy’s back. The man didn’t turn or respond.

“Marcus, come on.” She pulled on his hand to get him moving. A few steps later, someone bumped into her again. His hand tightened against hers as he stepped to the side, pulling her with him.

“Ma’am, let me walk in front and clear the way. I…I can’t take having people bump into you like this. It…it bothers me.”

She took note of his tight jaw and nodded. It was better than him stopping all the time. “Yeah, okay.”

Eyes closed, he inhaled deeply and then released it in slower increments. When he was done, he looked down at her. “Thank you.” Holding her hand with a firm grip, he turned and navigated them through the heavy sidewalk traffic until they came to the deli. When they walked in, he strode to a table, pulled a couple of napkins from the container and wiped it down. Vera walked closer to the counter and read the menu.

Behind her, she heard the bus boy approach Marcus.

“I’m sorry about that, sir.”

“No problem. I didn’t want my lady sitting at a dirty table, you follow me?”

Vera turned and watched the younger man redden as he wiped the table with a wet rag.

“Yes, sir.” He glanced at her and then moved on.

She returned to the table and sat down, mindful of several sets of eyes on the two of them.

“What would you like to eat?” Marcus asked.

“A chicken salad on croissant. And a bottle of water.”

“Okay.”

“Wait.” She pulled open her purse and took out a twenty to pay for both of their lunches, and handed it to him.

He hesitated.

Her brow rose. They hadn’t discussed finances yet. That topic was scheduled for this afternoon. But she expected to pay for lunch since she had invited him out.

Jaw clenched, he took the money from her and headed to the counter. The stiffness of his bearing assured her their money discussion would start at lunch.

While he was waiting for their food, she checked her e-mail. Her boss had sent her two messages earlier that week. There was another message in her box from him.

We secured the Walesby account. I may need you to assist me on this one. Be prepared for a trip to Portland after you return from vacation.

She cringed.
Damn, Brinks
. The Walesby account had already been assigned to Jerry, another attorney. The man had been looking forward to the trip and planned to have his wife meet him in Oregon. Leave it to Brinks to mess over someone’s parade. She sighed. It was time to consider making some changes before things became worse. She had no idea why the man was fixated on her. She’d never led him on, spoke to him at a minimum, and went out of her way to avoid him. He married the senior partner’s daughter and his wife would lynch him if she had any idea what he was up to.

“Here you are.” Marcus placed her plate on the table along with her water bottle. He set his plate across from hers. “Can I get you anything else?”

The huge croissant was stuffed to the brim with chicken salad. “No, this is more than enough, thanks.”

He nodded and sat. For the next few moments they ate in silence. It wasn’t comfortable and she knew they would discuss what had happened on the way here as well as the money deal. Mentally, she shrugged. At least he knew to wait until they finished eating before tackling those topics.

Sure enough, as soon as she moved her plate to the side, he started the conversation. “This is our last day and I’d like to go over a few things that we already discussed, if that’s okay.”

She nodded and took another drink from the bottle.

“You own a home in one of Atlanta’s suburbs and you live alone. I’ll move into the room above your garage, which is separate from the main house and has its own entrance. I’ll have meals with you since that room has no kitchen, just a bed and bathroom. That’s temporary while we get to know each other better. When we both feel ready, I’ll move into one of the rooms in the main house.”

She bit her lip, still uneasy over that part of the deal. But it was the best solution for being close to a stranger and he didn’t seem to mind. She gave a reluctant nod.

“The few members of your family live in Missouri but you haven’t talked to anyone since your freshman year of college, when your grandmother passed. Your family is not close and you don’t feel as though you can depend on them in an emergency or otherwise.”

She nodded and ignored the spasm of pain at the mention of her Nana. She still missed her dearly.

“You have no problem dishing out punishment but would prefer a well-disciplined sub. In other words, you don’t want someone you have to constantly oversee. Is that the right way to say it?”

“Pretty much. I don’t want more responsibility. I need a grownup who won’t play games. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Don’t expect me to guess.”

He nodded. “That’s what I was trying to get out.” He paused. “I want a relationship that’s going somewhere. You don’t think you can give me that.” He looked at her. “Why?”

“Why?”

“Yeah, I mean you said no to us getting closer right out the gate. We haven’t even started and you’ve thrown out that possibility. I wanted to know why.”

“I’m not going to fall in love with you.” She pointed at him to convince herself of her sincerity. He didn’t blink and she wondered if he was even interested in her that way. “That’s not what I’m looking for, not what this is about. If you want a D/s relationship, I can give you that.”

He nodded slowly, tapping his finger against his bottom lip. She wondered what he was thinking.

“I just wanted you to know up front that I might not be able to give you what you wanted.”
Liar. You’re halfway there
. “But if that’s a problem, let me know,” she said, hoping he’d go through with it anyway. They had enough chemistry and things in common that she knew they’d make a good team.

He snared her with his eyes. A small grin tugged at his lip. “I just needed to be sure we both understood what the other expected. If I don’t get what I need and you don’t get what you need, it won’t be because we didn’t know, right?”

Everything inside her rebelled at not getting what she wanted. It never occurred to her that he might draw back. On the one hand, she wanted an Alpha sub, one with that indefinable thing called “moxie.” On the other hand, when his ideas or code of honor clashed with something she wanted, she wanted his moxie to turn into mush. She’d miscalculated a few things.