Mad enough to marry (16 page)

'Tine," she said off-handedly, cool and casual. "Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? Aren't you fine? Is there a reason—"

Too late, she clamped her mouth shut on the decidedly not composed, not casual babble that was erupting from the deep well of awkwardness inside her. She whirled toward the refrigerator. "Can I get you something? Soda, iced tea, sex maybe, or...or..."

Hearing herself, she froze, mortified. Then she thunked her forehead a couple of times against the sUck refrigerator door.

"Elena—"

She halted him with a violent wave of her hand. **If you laugh at me, you'll scar me for Ufe. Better yet, I'll scar you for life."

He really did laugh now. **Good to see you're still in fighting form, honey."

Honey. He'd called her that last night, too. And she'd felt so honey-hot inside, everything all melty and sweet. Dangerously vulnerable. Desperate, she wrenched open the refrigerator and grabbed the first cold can, popped it open, drank.

Feehng sUghtly less ridiculous, she took another long swallow and then managed to turn and brave Logan again. With a pretend fascination, she studied the shoulder seam of his T-shirt.

It was much safer than his face.

*'I don't mean to make you nervous," he said quietly.

"I'm not nervous." Always deny. Standing tall, she forced her gaze to his. 'I've yet to meet a man who makes me nervous."

**Liar," he said, stepping close to her.

He lifted her chin with his hand and she refused to give him the satisfaction of retreating from the touch. '^Though why I'd make you nervous now is something of a mystery." His grin was both devihsh and gentle.

How the heck did he do that? It was just like that country-club construction-worker thing, Elena thought helplessly, a paradox created to unbalance a woman. To make her melt.

**After all," he continued, the grin growing. **rve

already had my wicked way with you." He leaned down as if to kiss her.

She surrendered to self-protective impulse and jerked away. It was time to get on with the plan she'd been preparing since waking up this morning. The plan she'd developed in case he seemed inclined to pursue their relationship. She had to protect herself, after all.

*'What do you want, Logan?" she said matter-of-factly.

He blinked. '*What do I want?"

The graceless gesture she made sent a slurp of soda splashing to the counter. She ignored it and calmly pinned him with her gaze. '*Now that you've had your *wicked way' as you put it, why are you here and what do you want? What do you want with me?"

He frowned, his eyes wary. "I'm not following you, Elena."

"You've had me. You said it yourself, and you're right. We did it. It's done. The fat lady sang. The party's over." She knew she was starting to babble again but somewhere in aU these words she might find the right ones to send him away for good. "Eleven years of anticipation are finally over. Potential realized. The itch scratched, right?"

He hissed out a breath. "You're trying pretty hard to make me angry."

Pretty hard? She was trying with everything she had. "It's what you wanted, right? What I agreed to. Tinish it once and for all,' you said. Well, we ac-compUshed that last night."

**We accomplished that," he repeated in a low, flat voice.

She swallowed. It was so crucially important to be the first one to make the inevitable break. '*Yes. Last night we ended, you know.... We ended us.'*

The gold of Logan's eyes was hard, now. Hard and hot. His mouth looked hard too. '*How—^why do you do this to me?" he finally bit out.

**I don't know what you mean." She clutched her soda can, reminding herself to play it cool and cahn.

**I consider myself a good-natured, easygoing type of guy." A muscle ticked in his jaw. She thought she saw his hands shaking before he shoved them in his pockets as if he needed to restrain them. **Most people would agree with me."

She lifted one shoulder. **Yeah, you're a real Mr. Congeniality."

His nostrils flared. **You should be careful, honey."

*'Oh, you think so?" She arched an eyebrow, even as her heartbeat jumped. But she was just inches away from getting his disturbing presence out of her life, she could feel it. If there was one thing she was good at, it was pushing men away before they got a chance to push her away. **rm shaking in my shoes, Logan."

**Damn it." His hands whipped out, grabbed her by the shoulders, jerked her against him. '*You in-fiiriate me."

He'd pulled her onto her toes and she could feel his heart slamming against hers. His heartbeat was

fast too, and though his hands on her were gentle, she decided against struggUng. '*Then let me go,*' she suggested, her mouth dry. Did it sound as if she was pleading? "Let's go our separate ways."

That muscle in his jaw ticking again, his eyes closed. After a moment he opened them to glare down at her. "Is that what you want?" he asked roughly.

"I..." All she had to say was yes! She knew it. One word and she would be safe again. "It's what wiU happen anyway," she heard herself whisper.

He opened his mouth, closed it, then he shook his head again. And then shook it some more.

"Damn you," he repeated, though this time he said it softly, the expression in his eyes more bemused than angry. "Up, down, in, out. You just can't be satisfied with one direction, can you? You've got to take me in all of them at once."

He pulled her closer and she found herself in his total embrace now, his arms around her, her cheek pressed against his chest. The embrace, the slowing rhythm of his heart, neither was a good sign, she thought in panic.

Worse, she wasn't doing anything to extricate herself.

He kissed the top of her head. ' * You know, I like things to be simple. Straightforward. Non-confrontational."

Elena nodded, which caused her cheek to rub against his chest. Oh, well. "Me too."

He laughed. "You don't have a simple, straight-

forward, non-cx)iifrontational cell in your whole body."

Elena suppressed a little smile. How could she resist him? 'Is that a compliment?"

He laughed again, and inched her away to look down at her face. Then he sighed. **Has anyone ever told you you're mind-blowing beautiful?"

She bit her bottom lip.

*'Of course they have." Logan rolled his eyes. *'You make me mad, not stupid."

"Logan—"

**Shh." Framing her face with his hands, he leaned down and touched her lips with his.

Elena felt a wash of that traitorous, honey-hot melting. "Logan..."

*'Shh." He kissed her again, just as lightly. "One night with you was not enough for me, do you understand? The party is not over, the fat lady has an entire Wagner opera left to sing, and the itch is definitely still driving me to distraction."

He was not helping. "But Logan—"

"Don't you deserve some pleasure?" He tapped her nose with one long finger. "I can promise that, I think."

Pleasure was one thing, she thought desperately, but there was that inevitable pain to follow it. ' T don't have time for a...a..."

"A boyfriend?" His smile could charm her heart out of her chest. Hadn't it already worked with the pants off her body? "I think we're too old for that, don't you? But Elena, honey, I could be your lover."

* 'Maybe I don't have time for one of those, either,'' she said, but she was akeady so dam soft and he was so right about the pleasure. So much pleasure. When was the last time she'd indulged herself with anything that felt so good?

*'You let me worry about your time." This kiss was long and demanding and told her that he already knew she'd surrendered. '*You let me worry about that."

Chapter Eleven

Logan had never been a moody man. Just as he'd told Elena, he'd always been an even-tempered, good-natured, glass-half-full type of guy.

Those thoughts only made him swing the sledgehammer he was holding in both fists with more force. He hadn't planned on gutting so soon the tiny downstairs bathroom that had been added in the 1950s then redecorated in the 1970s, but yesterday, hitting something had become an imperative. The bubblegum-pink tile liberally embelUshed with stuck-on fluorescent flowers and peace signs made a perfect target.

Tile shattered and fell at his feet. He smiled at it grimly, swung again.

Elena had told him over a week ago that she didn't have time for him. Damn her, she'd been right.

A woman with nothing less than two jobs, a night class, a sister to raise and volunteer duties for the upcoming senior prom apparently didn't have time to sleep either. He didn't think she'd been to bed in three days.

She'd certainly not been in his bed.

The night after they'd first made love, he'd managed to talk her out of immediately ending this...this...this thing between them and talk himself into her bed for some very quiet and tender lovemak-ing after Gabby was safely asleep. He'd promised her pleasure and holding firmly to the beast's leash, he'd managed to make good on it.

But he'd seen her only five times since. Kissed her twice. Hell, he spent more time with his mother than he did with his lover.

Pitiful. He swung the sledgehammer again.

Compounding that, he had the feeling that Elena was relieved to be so busy. Oh, she claimed to be sorry she couldn't see him, but he saw the wariness that Ungered in her eyes and in her voice and he knew that she was more comfortable blocking him than being with him.

It irritated him. A feehng which went perfectly with his sexual frustration. Not to mention the resentment he felt at how she so carefully maintained her emotional distance too. He'd told her weeks ago that he wanted to know her, but she continued ducking every personal question he posed.

A movement in the hall outside the bathroom caught his eye. Elena. He instantly tossed down the

sledgehammer and leaped over the threshold to nab her.

She accepted his kiss, her mouth softening, but then she pushed away, laughing. "Hey, hey, hey. A woman needs to breathe now and again."

He pulled her back. **Not as much as I need this." He drew her onto her toes and persuaded her into the kiss this time, starting soft and gentle and working into hard and demanding. When they were both breathless, he lifted his head and looked down into her dazed face. He smiled. 'Tell me you're staying home tonight."

**Better yet, tell me you're staying with me tonight."

"Logan." She fi*owned at him. "Remember, your mother—"

He cut her off with another long, drugging kiss. "We'll tell her we need privacy."

"No!"

His smile turned wicked. "Okay, we'll tell Gabby we need privacy."

"Oh." Elena's shoulders sagged. "Gabby. For a minute you made me forget why I came home."

* There's something wrong with Gabby?"

"No, no, no." Elena sUd out of his arms. "It's just that I need to talk to her."

Logan didn't like the shadow of worry darkening her eyes. "Can I help?"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine." With a distracted air, she looked around and spotted the purse

and bag she'd dropped when he grabbed her. **I have to get this over with, though."

Logan's hands fisted. "It would be nice to know what *this' is."

**What?" She blinked at him, then shook her head. *lt's not your problem," she said, then turned away from him.

His temper rocketing, Lx)gan stared at her retreating back. "Elena!"

She glanced over her shoulder. * 'Hmm?''

He forced himself to sound civil. "Will I see you later?"

Her answer was non-committal, her feet were speedy going up the stairs. Steaming, Logan stalked back into the bathroom, gripped the sledgehammer, then pounded it against the tiled shower. Oh, she was so damn good, he thought, trying to destroy his frustration with another swing. So damn good at creating those physical and emotional distances that he was beginning to beheve she'd never let him near.

Elena's hand trembled as she tried to fit the key into the lock of the apartment door. Weariness, she thought. Day job, part-time job, college course, the prom coming up in a little more than a week, they all added up to not enough sleep and probably not enough to eat, either.

A Uttle dinner, a Uttle down time, she'd be good as new. Her shoulders slumped, knowing that neither rest or refueling would ease the weight of her conscience.

Loud thumps—^Logan pounding at something in the bathroom downstairs—^made her wince. No doubt about it, he was mad, and no way around it, she had to take the blame.

She'd agreed to be his lover and then done everything she could to avoid him as often as she could. But it wasn't because she didn't want to be with him. That was the whole problem.

It was too good with him. Too pleasureftil, too addictive.

Too easy to want to trust. Too easy to depend on.

Too, too, too.

Elena sucked in a breath and firmed her grip on the key. She'd have to elude him as much as possible for just a few more days to keep all those *'toos" under control. In a short time her house would be repaired. Then she'd be back on her familiar block and back in her familiar surroundings. Once she and Logan didn't share the same roof, his interest in her would wane, and she would bury her interest in him under all that it took to get Gabby ready for college.

Gabby... Her conscience twinged again, but she straightened her shoulders, focused on the lock, had success inserting the key. Another violent thump sounded from downstairs and Elena gritted her teeth as she swung open the door. It was time to see who else she could tick off today.

Her sister was sitting at the card table, surrounded by books, her binder open. She looked up as Elena shut the door behind her. "Hello," she said politely.

Elena gritted her teeth again. Gabby had been dif-

ferent, though oh-so-polite since the day Logan had witnessed their exchange of words over her art and Tyler. It was only normal, Elena tried telling herself. Gabby was beginning to assert her independence in these last few months before going off to Berkeley.

But a dry ache burned at the back of Elena's eyes. It was going to be strange, lonely and strange, when her httle sister left. Gabby had been the focus of all her energy and emotion for so long. Realization of a dream or not, the absence of Gabby would leave a hole that even the satisfaction of her enrollment in pre-med at Berkeley wouldn't fill.