Mad Valentine: A Bad Boy Romance (Mad Valentine Trilogy Book 1) (12 page)

Suddenly somebody bumped into us and I saw Warren clumsily tap Victor’s shoulder, hard. “Mind if I cut in?” he slurred loudly, his cheeks pink and a strange fire in his blue eyes. Victor looked at the intruder and I felt compelled to say something. But Victor let me go and stepped back. “Not at all,” he said.

When Warren stepped forward, glowering at Victor, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. He roughly took my hand and wrapped his arm around me as if I were a ragdoll.

“Hey, buddy,” I said, trying to smile. I already missed Victor’s arms around me. He had held me so gently, almost caressing me with his embrace. Warren pawed at me as if he needed help standing upright.

“Hey,
buddy
,” he said. His words were friendly but there was a simmering quality to them. “Who was that you were dancing with?”

I tensed. “A friend. His name is Victor. I—”

“You two looked pretty friendly,” he interrupted. “More than friendly.” His eyes flashed with anger. I’d never seen Warren angry, and it caught me off guard.

“Yes, we’re…good friends,” I faltered. I wanted desperately to change the course of the conversation. I wanted to apologize to Warren, to make him feel better, to let him know he was still important to me as a person. “Warren, look,” I started to say, but just then the song changed to “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye. Warren leered, a dangerous look in his eyes.

“Hey, El, this is your song,” he said loudly. “You always need so much sexual healing, don’t you?” He was speaking loud enough for everyone around to hear.

“Very funny, Warren,” I said, trying to laugh it off.

“Oh, yeah? You think I’m funny? I make you laugh, don’t I,
buddy
?”

Furtively, I looked around to see who had noticed Warren’s bizarre behavior. Nearly everyone around us was either watching us or whispering. I tried to steer the conversation, to get back to safe territory.

“Yeah, you can always make me laugh, Warren,” I said brightly, as if there was nothing wrong.

“Well, you know what else I can do?” His face was red and contorting in anger. “I can also make you
come
, can’t I,
buddy
? Every time you ask for it I’ve been happy to oblige! Running to your side like a fucking puppy!” He was close to yelling, and people were now definitely staring.

“Shut up, Warren, you’re being an idiot!” I heard Maggie call out from somewhere.

“Stay out of this, Maggie!” he yelled back, never taking his eyes off of me.

I felt my blood pressure start to rise. He wasn’t giving me a chance to apologize but was instead trying to punish me by publicly humiliating me.
Fuck this
, I thought.
Fuck him! It’s not my fault he agreed to our terms but changed his mind midway!

“Warren, what the fuck?” I hissed. “We had a deal!”

“Oh! Oh, yeah, some fucking
deal,
El! Fuck buddies of the year!” he yelled, spreading his arms wide. I took the opportunity to run off the dance floor, but he grabbed my arm harshly and pulled me back, turning me to face the crowd. “Somebody give this girl a prize!” he cried. “She’s a rare breed! You don’t have to give her your time or your respect—all she needs is a good fuck!”

I covered my face in my hands and struggled against him. All I wanted was to run away and hide. I felt Maggie by my side, throwing her arm around my shoulders and trying to wrest me away from Warren. Then a voice called out from the crowd. It was rich and deep, but with a cold, hard edge. I closed my eyes in utter shame. The one person I wanted least to witness this had heard and seen it all.

“Let her go.” Victor stepped out from the crowd. Maggie froze. Warren’s grip tightened on my arm.

“Who the fuck are you?” Warren challenged.

“Just let her go, man,” came Victor’s answer. He sounded calm, but there was an unnatural quality to his voice. Its hardness sent a shiver down my spine. As I looked into his eyes, I noticed the same cold look that I saw months ago at Lucky 13, when he had gripped the hand of the sexual harasser.

“No,
bro
,” came Warren’s mocking reply. “How about
you
mind your own fucking business while I have a conversation with this
cunt
!”

Maggie gasped. Warren yanked on my arm to lead me away. His grip was so hard and brutal that I could feel my skin bruising and I cried out as he tried to drag me away. 

Then, everything changed. For a fraction of a second, there was a flurry of activity beside me. There was the sound of cloth ripping, and suddenly, I felt Warren drop my arm. Startled, I looked up to see Victor by my side, holding Warren up by his ripped shirt collar. Warren barely stood on the ground on his tip-toes. He extended his arms out to each side and on his face was a look of terror.

Holding onto his collar and bringing his face inches from Warren’s, Victor spoke, his voice low and his cold eyes glowing. “Look,
man
. Maybe she broke your heart. I know what that feels like because she broke mine too. But
whatever
the fuck you think she did to you, don’t
ever
disrespect a woman like that. And don’t you ever,
ever
lay a hand on Ellen again. If you do, I will kill you.”

With his last words hanging ominously in the air, Victor stared Warren down, challenging him to do or say anything back. It was only when Warren cast his eyes to the ground and shrank into himself did Victor finally, slowly let go. Then, wordlessly, he turned and walked away. The crowd parted as he went. Paralyzed, I watched him go, wanting desperately to stop him but unable to move. He was halfway to the door when there was a yell. We all turned to see Warren rushing at him.

“You mother fucker!” he yelled. Warren hurled all his drunken weight at Victor but Victor turned in time to dodge the blow. Warren crashed into the wall but spun around immediately and was able to deliver a hard jab to Victor’s ribs. Victor doubled over, but Warren had to stop for a moment to catch his breath. That was a mistake.

Like lightning, Victor straightened himself with a vicious uppercut to Warren’s chin. Then a right hook slammed into Warren’s face and blood spurted from his nose.

“Victor, stop!” I screamed, horrified. With his left hand gripping Warren’s shoulder, he raised his right fist again, but his fist remained hovering in the air. Warren was holding his nose with both hands.

“I think he broke my nose,” he moaned.

Slowly, I saw Victor’s hand loosen from Warren’s shoulder. He dropped his fist, and, without another look back, walked quickly out the open door.

“Victor!” I had no idea what I was doing. It was like little metallic gears in my joints whirred to action and I was suddenly taking unsteady steps toward the door. Then my hands grasped at my dress, my feet stepping faster. I walked out the door and saw Victor walking fast, putting distance between us. I blindly took off my high heels and threw them on the ground. I began to move faster. I felt cold, wet grass on my feet and I realized I was now running across the lawn.

“Ellen!” I heard Maggie yell from behind me. I felt her warm hand grasp my shoulder as she caught up to me and spun me around. “Ellen, get a hold of yourself!” she said. It was then that I realized tears were running down my face.

“Come back inside, sweetie. Come on.”

“No! I have to see Victor!”

Maggie’s face dropped in shock. “You want to see
Victor
right now? El, he just broke Warren’s nose! He just punched out our friend!”

“Warren deserved it! He was hurting me.”

Maggie looked pained. “Sweetie, I promise Warren won’t ever hurt you like that again. He’s never been this drunk or angry. What he said was inexcusable, but he’ll apologize. I know it. Just come back inside with me.”

“I can’t! I have to talk to Victor!

“Ellen!” Maggie burst. “Victor is
not
a good guy! He seriously hurt Warren in there!”

“He was only trying to help me!”

Maggie looked at me with both disbelief and desperation. “Warren is our
friend
. I tried to trust you about Victor, but come on! He’s no good; he just hurt our friend!”

“But Warren attacked him!” I argued. “It was self-defense!”

I knew it was no use. Maggie was already prejudiced and there was nothing I could say to change her mind. I panted, staring at my best friend, wishing she would understand but hurting because I knew she wouldn’t. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I have to go.”

I yanked myself out of her grip and ran into the street, straining to see Victor’s silhouette, already tiny and disappearing into the darkness.

XXVIII. The Truth

“Victor!” I yelled again. The silhouette didn’t turn around; it just kept walking into the night. If I didn’t catch up, I was in danger of losing him.

“Victor, please!” I yelled, running faster. “I have to talk to you! I don’t have shoes on and it hurts to run after you!” My eyes strained to see ahead, and for a moment, I couldn’t make anything out. But finally, under the wan yellow light of a distant streetlamp, I saw the silhouette come to a stop. It turned. It began to walk back to me. Soon, I was looking up at Victor’s heartbreaker face under the streetlight.

“I’m sorry,” I said, panting.

“Ellen, what are you doing? Why don’t you have shoes on?”

“I had to run after you. And I can’t run in heels. You should try it sometime, it fucking sucks.”

Victor cracked a smile. His fingers traced what I guessed was a mascara streak down my face. “Were you crying?” He looked worried.

Oh, shit. I must look like a mess.

“Well, yes,” I confessed. “Because my friend-slash-fuck-buddy turned into a drunken, abusive man and attacked me. Then you threatened to kill him, and then all hell broke loose. So, you know, kind of an emotional night.”

Victor let out a small laugh. “So how much more does Maggie hate me now?”

“A lot.”

“Yeah, that’s what I figured.”

We stood there for a moment, looking at each other while my panting slowed to normal breath. Victor noticed a shiver run down my spine. It was still mid-February and I stood in nothing but my dress in the cold night air.

Victor took off his tuxedo coat and put it over my shoulders. I grasped the lapels and hugged it tighter to me, savoring the heat of his body.

“All right,” he said. “You can’t stand here shoeless all night. I’ll drive you home.” With that, he scooped me up in his arms as easily as if he were picking up a child and started carrying me down the street.

“Victor!” I croaked, aghast. “What are you doing?” I struggled against him.

“You said it hurts to walk without shoes.”

“I said it hurts to
run
! Put me down, I’m fine to walk!”

He winced and I stopped squirming, suddenly remembering the blow Warren had delivered to his ribs. “Oh, god! Are you hurt?”

“Just a little.”

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry! Is your rib broken? Victor, you have to put me down!”

“Nah, it’s just bruised. Warren’s got a good arm.” He grinned, then winced again. “Stop squirming. It hurts when you do that and I’m not putting you down.”

I obeyed and stopped moving. I even put my arms gently around his neck. He gave me his crooked smile. “That’s more like it,” he said, his voice soft.

Thankfully, we weren’t too far from his car. When we got inside, I turned to him.

“Wait, Victor, please,” I said. “I want to talk to you. Please don’t take me home yet. Let’s go to your spot—the one where you listen to the radio. Let’s talk first before you take me home.”

Victor stared out the windshield, considering, but I couldn’t read his expression. “All right,” he said with a note of defeat. He threw the car into gear and we had a wordless drive up to the lookout point.

He parked close enough to the ridge where we could see some of the glittering lights below without getting out of the car. He had the heater on and I had wiped off the mascara streaks in the mirror. I felt a little better. But I was riddled with both guilt and questions I had been too scared to ask until now.

“So,” Victor said, “let’s talk.” He clasped his hands in his lap. He didn’t look at me. It was now or never. Time for the truth. I took a deep breath.

“First of all, I’m sorry for what happened with Warren. That was not your fault. I deserved it. I was an asshole to him. I used him and never thought about his feelings.
I am
a thoughtless asshole, and I deserve it.”

“You don’t,” said Victor, staring at his clasped hands. “That’s the kind of thing my mother used to say about my old man.” He shook his head. “Believe me, you don’t deserve it.”

My mind was racing and my heart was bursting and there was a roaring in my ears. I suddenly felt terrified. I had so much I wanted to say, so many conflicting thoughts to express; I was overflowing with emotion and I didn’t know where to start or how to deal with it.

But as I looked at him, sitting across from me, his profile outlined by the moonlight, the roaring in my ears quieted. I studied the thick lashes of his downcast eyes. This was a man who honored the memory of his mother and spoke only kind words to me. He was a tattooed, misunderstood, mess of a man, but he knew his faults and he had his priorities. He loved corny jokes. He wrote beautiful songs. He gave me wet dreams. He made me jealous. He made me cry. He made me come. My mind stopped racing, and my loud, bass-drum heart beat was no longer terrifying. I had a moment of total calm and clarity.

“I’m in love with you,” I whispered.

I saw his body tense. His knuckles turned white. Slowly, he turned to me, his eyes searching mine with an ache that was so real it was hard to look back.

“I’m in love with you, Victor,” I said again. I dropped my eyes from his aching gaze. “And I know I’m too late to say it because now you’re with Mimi.”

I pulled at my fingers, overcome with frustration that I had been such a dunce for so long, that I had been in denial for so long. I was madly in love with Victor Valentine, and that was the truth. That had always been the truth.

Then I felt him touch my hand. I watched as he took my hand in his and held it tenderly.

“Ellen, I’ve never even allowed myself to dream about hearing you say that.” He brought my hand to his lips and gave it a kiss, then lowered it to his lap. “But before you say anymore, I need to tell you about Mimi.” I felt my gut wrench. He paused as he seemed to prepare himself. “Mimi and I are not together. We haven’t been since she moved away a year and a half ago. I’ve been wanting to tell you, to make things clear to you, but it’s been hard because…it’s a legal matter.”

I didn’t understand. I looked at him questioningly. He took a deep breath.

“Okay. Let me start at the beginning. I’m sure—” He raised his eyes to the ceiling. “I’m sure you’ve heard some things about me. About something I did in the past. Particularly, something I did last year to get put on academic probation.”

He looked at me, and I saw pain and shame etched on his face. I nodded, embarrassed for both of us.

“Well, it has to do with that.” He took another deep breath. Then, looking straight ahead and steeling himself, he began to talk. “Mimi and I were together at the time. She came home crying one night, looking like a mess…And she told me this guy had tried to rape her.” His deep voice cracked, and his grip on my hand tightened. “I just lost it. I found out who the guy was and I went after him. I beat him up badly. I was so angry. I wanted justice. And I was ashamed of myself because I hadn’t protected her. So I took it out on him. I know, it was fucked up and dumb. The worst part was…well, that I believed Mimi. I went looking for him right after I took her to the hospital. She got checked out by the doctor and even got a rape kit done.” He gave a short, hard laugh. “The kit came back without any evidence of sexual abuse.”

I sat there, stunned. I couldn’t process it all. “You—are you saying she lied?”

Victor sighed again and loosened his grip on my hand. “I don’t know. Part of me still believes her. My friends would say that that part of me is an idiot. The point is, what I did was inexcusable. I really hurt that guy. Thankfully, he came out okay, and thankfully, it became a matter for the campus police and not the city police, or I could have been charged with assault. But I almost got kicked out of school and I got branded as a psycho. Stu helped convince the administration that I was under extreme duress—they dredged up my past about my drunk father and all that shit. Mimi had to appear at these hearings and say under oath that the guy had attacked her—” Victor exhaled loudly and shifted in his seat. “Anyway, it was fucked. They should have just kicked me out of school but they let me off with a year probation. And now, you see me here today, the idiot hothead who writes songs and goes to mandatory anger management.”

I just sat there, not knowing what to say. “Victor, I had no idea. I’m so sorry,” I said finally.

“Most people don’t have any idea. And I want to keep it that way. People ask me why I did it but I’m not going to tell them it was because somebody tried to rape Mimi. Whether it’s true or not, that’s not for me to share. That’s for Mimi to tell whom she chooses.” He looked over at me. “So. Now you know about that.”

“Yes. I guess I do.”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“That was a year and a half ago,” he continued, his voice weary. “Today, it’s worse. Mimi came back to see me because the guy who she accused and I beat up has filed a suit against her for slander and he’s suing for damages, including the physical and mental trauma I caused him.”

My free hand flew to my mouth.

“Again, thankfully, there are no charges against me. Why that is, I have no idea. But I’ve been having to talk to Mimi about it. I just want her to settle with the guy, to put it all behind her, but she doesn’t have the money and wants to go to court. She wants me to testify on her behalf. That first day we saw her at Lucky 13, I knew something was up. And the day you came over with the Christmas presents…that was the day she came over to talk about it.” He stared out the windshield. He wouldn’t look at me, but he held my hand tightly. “I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, but I felt I couldn’t because it was her legal matter. I felt I owed her my confidence.”

“Oh, Victor,” I whispered.

He finally looked at me with a wan smile. “So, now you see. She wasn’t staying at my place, and we’re not back together. She still has her apartment key from years ago—she didn’t leave it after we split. It was so dumb of me to let you come over that day. But I really wanted to see you…”

I sat there, not knowing what to say, trying to put all the pieces together.

“And now,” he said sadly, “it’s time to take you home.”

I looked up quickly. “No, Victor, please. I don’t want to leave you. Please don’t get rid of me so quickly.”

“I’m not getting rid of you, I’m—” He looked away, clearly emotional. “Ellen,” he said, turning to me with new intensity, “I’m going to tell you something that’s hard for me to say. I’ve known it all along and I should have said it at the beginning, but I was too selfish. This is the truth: I’m not good for you.”

“That’s not true! Why would you think that?”

“Ellen, we come from different worlds. You have a good family, talent, stability, a clean slate. I’m from a broken home. I’ve got issues and a bad reputation. I’ve even got a fucking legal mess to deal with. I’m damaged goods, El. You have a bright future ahead of you and I’m not going to fuck that up.”

“Victor…” Tears stung my eyes. My heart was breaking for us both. “Please listen to me. You are
not
damaged goods. You’re the best man I’ve ever met. You stand miles above all the others because you’ve kept your integrity and your compassion even with all you’ve been through.”

He gave a brusque laugh. “They were pretty much the only things I had to hold on to.”

A tear rolled down my face. “Victor, I’m nothing compared to you. I would be lucky to have you.”

He looked at me then, a storm raging in his eyes. I placed my hands on his face and said again, “I’m in love with you.”

He sat motionless, transfixed. I caressed his cheek gently, my eyes taking in all his features—his dark brown eyes, his long lashes, his full lips, his chiseled jaw. “So very, very in love with you,” I said as I brought my lips to his.

It was like planets and stars and galaxies colliding. It was like everything beautiful I’ve ever felt expressed in a kiss. I lingered, reveling in the sensations. When I finally pulled away, Victor’s breath came out raspy.

“I’ve loved you since the moment we met,” he said.

I brought my lips to his again, hungrily this time. I moved closer, pressing my body to him. As we kissed, every cell in my body cried out for more, and I found myself moving to straddle him. Wordlessly, I began to loosen his tie. “Ellen,” he said softly in a warning tone.

“Shhh. Stop deciding for me. This is what I want.”

He relented and I took over, dictating our every moment of pleasure.

With his tie loosened and his collar open, I leaned in and kissed his neck. I sucked gently, grazing my teeth against his skin. He groaned, and I felt his cock growing beneath me. His hands traveled from my hips to my shoulders and he slid his tuxedo jacket off of me. I got goosebumps from his touch, even in the warm air of the heater. Straightening, I looked down into his face as I removed his tie completely and began to unbutton his shirt. I bit my lip and felt heady with desire as I gradually exposed his chest, his tattoos, and his abs, button by button. After tossing the shirt aside, I ran my hands down his smooth skin, feeling his muscles. There was a bruise forming on his left rib and I grazed my fingertips across it.

“Are you okay?” I whispered. He nodded, his eyes heavy with desire. Looking into those eyes, I began to move my hips back and forth and ran my hands over his body once again. He pulled me closer, and our lips locked in a passionate kiss. His cock was so hard now, and it ground against my pelvis, sending waves of pleasure through my body. I gradually straightened again, and as he watched, I grasped the ends of the bow holding my dress up. I pulled, the soft satin giving way easily. As his hungry eyes took me in, I slowly lowered the straps, letting the front of my dress fall away, revealing my breasts to him. He sucked in air, his hands gripping my waist. I continued to move my hips, rubbing myself along his cock. I closed my eyes as I felt his arms wrapping around me, pulling me closer to him, and a moan escaped my lips as he took a breast into his mouth. His tongue made circles around my nipple while he tightened his grip on me. Still grinding, I leaned into him and grasped the back of the bench seat, wanting him to take in more of me.