Maddie and Wyn (28 page)

Maddie rolled over and braced her elbows on Wyn’s chest. “All these years later and he’s still trying to reach you?”

Hard brackets etched themselves around Wyn’s mouth. “He gave up for a while. I thought he’d let go.” Wyn barely glanced at the phone, offering a stiff shrug. “I guess not.”

Her chest banding even tighter, Maddie brushed her fingers over the lines digging into Wyn’s ruggedly handsome face. “I’m sorry he’s doing this to you. Has Ethan been any more effective in getting him to back off?”

“He doesn’t try to contact E or ask about him.” Lines were replaced with a tic of his jaw. “Just me.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Wyn replied, an edge in his tone. “Maybe he just thinks I’m more malleable and is choosing to concentrate his efforts on me.”

Maddie barked a sharp, high laugh, unable to help herself. “If that’s true, that’s all the proof needed that he doesn’t know you at all. You’re about the least malleable person I know.”

Wyn frowned again. “Maybe.”

“Maybe nothing.” Maddie poked him in the chest with force. “That’s the truth.” Resting her chin in one hand, her brow scrunched. “Have you asked Ethan to contact Graham? Maybe if he hears the same refusal from both sons he’ll back off.”

“E doesn’t know about any of the calls and texts.”

Maddie reared again. “At all?” She closed her gaping jaw with her hand. “You never told him?”

“No.” Scorching her with a glare, Wyn took the phone from Maddie and tossed it back on the nightstand. “Ethan shouldn’t have to be burdened with this too. It’s enough that one of us has to deal with our father. It shouldn’t be both.”

A protest scratched at Maddie’s throat, fighting for a chance to make a good argument, but the clipped tone of Wyn’s voice and the snap of black in his stare pushed it back down into her gut.

“It’s your choice of course,” she finally offered, “but I think Ethan would want to know. He’d want to help. He’d want to have your back.”

Wyn rolled his head to stare at the window. “He doesn’t need the hurt.”

Grabbing his granite jaw, Maddie forced him to look at her. “Hey.” She shook him gently. “Neither do you.”

Wyn’s Adam’s apple bobbed hard, and he took her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “Thank you.” He blinked a bit of moisture from his eyes. “It feels good to have you in my corner again.” He crushed her fingers within his hold. “I missed you.”

Brushing her lips against his knuckles, Maddie murmured, “Me too,” and laid her cheek against his chest.

Expelling a breath, Wyn let his head fall back against the pillow and fell silent. His chest rose and fell a few times, and eventually his grip loosened on her hand. He didn’t let go, but relaxed enough to let blood flow back into her fingers. Using her free hand, Maddie lightly stroked his side, painting a line from his waist to halfway down his thigh. Back and forth Maddie moved, listening to his heartbeat, and only breathed easier when it slowed to normal.

Maddie shifted to stretch her legs alongside his, and Wyn instantly squeezed her hand. “Stay with me like this all night.” Sandpaper coated his request.

Her heart hurting for him so much, Maddie pressed a kiss to his jaw and promised, “I’m not going anywhere.”

The tightness bled from his frame. “Good.”

Within minutes Wyn relaxed completely and his breathing changed enough to let Maddie know he’d drifted to sleep. He didn’t let go of her hand though, and his need for this connection sank into Maddie’s chest and wouldn’t let go of her heart.
Oh God. I’m in trouble.

Still, Maddie stayed right where she promised she would. And when she finally drifted off, she slept better than she had in years. Secure in Wyn’s arms.

That scared her more than anything else.

On the roof of Maddie’s garage, behind a makeshift industrial-looking camouflage blind, Wyn adjusted his binoculars and followed Nico’s path from his rental car to the storage shed behind Maddie’s house. So far the man’s movements hadn’t struck Wyn as suspicious, and he had yet to step foot in Maddie’s home. The day was still young, though. Nico would likely get hungry and stop for lunch soon.

Wyn’s phone chimed and he glanced down to a text from his brother that read:
Don’t shoot. I’m coming up the stairs right now. I’ll see you in a second.

A moment later Ethan cleared the steps that climbed the west side of the building. His golden hair and sun-kissed skin looked as fresh and tidy as if he’d just popped out of a life-sized Tupperware box, and he wore a shit-eating-grin that had Wyn shooting his brother the finger.

“What?” Ethan cleared the ladder and stepped onto the concrete roof. “No hello for your big brother?”

Wyn shifted back in his lawn chair and put the binoculars back up to his eyes. “I’m working.”

Using the round cooler Wyn had brought up to keep his soda and water chilled as a seat, Ethan plopped down next to Wyn and leaned in to look through a narrow opening in the hiding spot Wyn had created. “I could have sworn you told me the other morning that this was your day off.”

Scowling, Wyn pushed Ethan’s head out of his line of sight. “Unofficial work. Go away.”

Ethan stretched his legs out, crossed them at the ankle, and clasped his hands behind his head as if he were in a cushy recliner at home. “Can’t do that, I’m afraid. My car’s engine is rattling and Maddie is taking a look at it right now. It could be a while.”

“I’m sure you have your Kindle on you.” Wyn trained his attention on the shed at the back of Maddie’s property. “You could sit downstairs and read.”

“I could, but then I wouldn’t be able to talk to you.”

“I’m watching someone. Can’t divert my focus right now.”

“Speaking of…Is Maddie okay with all this?”

Pulling the binoculars away from his face for a second, Wyn rolled his eyes at his brother. “She knows I’m up here. She obviously was the one who told you where I was.”

“Yeah, but I still get the vibe that she thinks this is a bit of an overkill.” An elongated pause stretched between them before Ethan finally asked, “Is it?”

Not sparing Ethan a look this time, Wyn gritted his teeth. “Not to me it isn’t.”

“But are you the one to show the best judgment in this situation?”

A cauldron started bubbling in Wyn. “Don’t you start with me too,” he snapped, unable to keep himself entirely reined in. “I don’t need any shit right now.”

“Hey.” Ethan clasped Wyn’s shoulder and shook him, and the contact jerked Wyn’s attention to him. Blue sparks ignited his brother’s stare. “I remember how wrecked you were after Maddie got hurt on the snowmobile. I know how much your inaction fucked with your head.” Ethan pulled the cooler forward, put himself right in Wyn’s line of sight, and didn’t give him anywhere to hide. “Is it possible you are overcompensating now as a way to test yourself, to prove to yourself, to assure yourself you’ll never choke or fall short when it comes to Maddie’s safety again?”

“I haven’t saved her yet.” Ethan’s scrutiny scratched at Wyn’s fears, ripping his defenses to the surface. “Whoever did this is still out there. Maybe it’s the guy you’re distracting me from watching right now.”

“Ease up, man.” Ethan squeezed Wyn’s shoulder, digging into knots. “You’re like a dog with a bone.”

Shaking his head, Wyn pulled himself out of Ethan’s grasp. “I owe her this protection. Trust me,” his voice scratched, “it’s the very smallest thing I can do for her right now. She’s letting me in; she’s letting me help her; I’m not going to screw up again.”

Softness suddenly filled Ethan’s features. “You never did screw up, man. You froze for a moment; that’s all.”

Memories of his other horrific failures where Maddie was concerned flooded Wyn. Everything inside him froze, and familiar bile rose in his gut.

Instantly Ethan sat up straighter and his brow pulled. “If this isn’t about the accident, then what is it about?”

Stiffening, Wyn spun in his chair and put the binoculars back up to his eyes. “Nothing.”

“No.” Ethan yanked the binoculars out of Wyn’s hands. “That reaction wasn’t nothing.” He dragged Wyn’s chair around, the scrape of the metal on the concrete screeching across the late morning sky. “What the hell are you trying to fix?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Wyn said through clenched teeth.

“Well maybe you fucking need to,” Ethan shot back, “because it’s clearly messing with your head as much as Maddie’s accident did.”

His heart thumping way too fast, making his mouth dry, Wyn rubbed his hands against his jeans, mopping up the sweat forming in his palms.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Ethan even pushed the cooler against the concrete protection wall and leaned back as if he intended to stay for a while. “Maddie had another car to finish up before she could squeeze mine in.”

“Go ahead.” Even though he was strung tighter than a bow, Wyn shrugged. “Wait me out.”

Raising his eyebrows, Ethan crossed his arms against his chest. “I will.”

Wyn tried to go back to watching Nico, but he could feel his brother’s stare boring a hole into the side of his head. He tried to focus, but Ethan’s laser stare from less than three feet away kept messing with the hairs on the back of his neck, making them stand at alert. Wyn commanded himself to put all his attention on Nico, but as much as he knew he could sit on this roof for eight hours and watch a man two hundred yards away without blinking, he could not withstand his brother scrutinizing him for five minutes.

Before the sixth minute rolled by on his watch, Wyn spat, “Fine.”

He’d never told a soul about that night. His shame over what he’d done to Maddie, to himself as a man with any credible integrity, about how the damage he’d done through one stupid decision had haunted him for four years. Wyn had lived with his resulting impotence in silence, never once even hinting at it until he’d told Maddie. He’d lived all alone with all of it, knowing in his gut he deserved the isolation his choice had wrought. Staring at Ethan right now, knowing it would slay him to see disappointment in his brother’s eyes, Wyn finally spilled what he’d done to Maddie that night on his back porch.

Ethan sat stone-faced through every word of Wyn’s admission, and remained quiet for an uncomfortable heartbeat afterward. “Shit,” he finally said, dragging his hand across the lines pulling down around his mouth. “You screwed the pooch bad.”

Feeling lower than a snake, Wyn trained his focus over his brother’s shoulder, unable to look him in the eyes. “When I looked up and saw Maddie standing there that night, when I looked into her eyes, when I saw the devastation and betrayal there, I instantly knew I’d fucked up in a way from which I’d never recover.”

His tone dropping to soft, Ethan replied, “Maybe that’s what you wanted.”

Heat suddenly searing through him, Wyn zeroed in on Ethan. “No way.” Ethan’s comment knocked the wind out of him. “No fucking way.”

“Yes fucking way.” Fire suddenly infused Ethan too. “You were terrified after Maddie had her snowmobile accident. You were crushed by your inability to function for her in that moment. And all that time, bouncing around in your head, is this misplaced fear that you’re just like Dad; that you can’t hack it when times get severely tough on the person you love the most.”

Visions of their father pushed at Wyn’s memories, along with a cowardly neediness brewing in his soul.
No. Stop thinking about that day.
Determinedly, Wyn hardened his heart.
Stop thinking about him.

His father would not leave his mind though, almost as if he lived inside Wyn’s head, constantly taunting him, and Wyn had to admit, “I might not like to see this weakness in myself, but thus far I’ve proven it exists.”

“Fuck that shit,” Ethan swore, jabbing his finger at Wyn. “You’re wrong.”

“I didn’t stay strong with Mom.”

“That’s bullshit,” Ethan exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. “We’ve already gone around in circles on that conversation. If you insist that you couldn’t deal with Mom’s illness, then I am right there in the same boat with you. Is that what you think of me? That I didn’t cut it with Mom?”

Wyn’s voice dropped to a murmur. “No.”

“Then you can’t rightly think it of yourself.”

A roiling ball of guilt still twisted in Wyn’s core, latched to him tighter than a leech. “Fine,” he spat. “Whatever.” The holes Ethan was poking at in his psyche made him itchy. “It doesn’t really matter why I did what I did; it only matters that I did it. It only matters now that I prove myself worthy of Maddie by figuring out who is skulking around on her property so that she feels safe again.”

Empathy radiated off of Ethan like a fragrance. “And maybe Maddie will fall in love with you again in the process.”

Closing in on himself, Wyn crossed his arms and shrugged tightly. “I’m enough of a selfish bastard to admit that yes, I do hope we’ll finally be together by the end.”

Ethan leaned in and rubbed Wyn’s arm. “Give yourself a break. There’s nothing mercenary or wrong in hoping that the person you want more than anything in the world will feel the same way about you, unless you’re inflating the danger over what is going on at her house. You’re not doing that, are you?”

Wyn growled. “There has been someone entering and exiting her property on a regular basis, stealing things and money, and goddamn eating her food in the process. That has the very real potential to turn dangerous. Why the hell is everyone downplaying this but me?”

Ethan lifted his hands in surrender. “I’m not. That’s why I asked the question. I wanted an answer, and you gave it to me. I accept that it’s the truth.”

Nodding, Wyn breathed a little easier. “Thank you.”

With a nod back, Ethan surged to his feet. “I’ll let you get back to your stakeout. I’ll go read downstairs.” He squeezed his brother’s shoulder one more time and planted a kiss on the top of his head. “Do me one favor though?”

Wyn tipped back in the chair and looked up at Ethan. “Yeah?”

“Think about what I said. I know you think the ‘why’ of what you did doesn’t matter, and that manning up and owning it without excuses is the important thing. I get that. But why we make the choices we do matters too. It matters so that we don’t fuck up again, maybe in a different way, but for the same core reason. And maybe if Maddie knew why, it would help her let go and truly forgive you.” Ethan gave Wyn’s hair a gentle tug. “Something to think about. I’ll talk to you later.”