Made with Love (34 page)

Instead of responding to Noah, she turned to Mose. “I wonder if I can trust you. Trust you in my shop. There's too much at stake.” The words spilled from her mouth. “I can't risk letting anything happen. We have no insurance. And if my family loses everything…”

Mose's anger at Gerald changed to a look of worry. She could tell her words had finally penetrated, and Mose turned from Lovina back to Noah. “Yeah, of course. I—I guess I didn't think of that.”

When Noah didn't respond, Mose looked back to Lovina. “It wasn't in your shop. I never would've done it in your shop,” he said hurriedly. “I just thought it was funny, that's all.”

Noah shook his head, not letting Mose get off that easy. “What you do affects every part of you. You can't be both a careless prankster and a dedicated, trustworthy employee. How you are seen in one area affects how others see you in all areas.”

“Listen, it was just a joke…” Mose stated defensively again, and then paused. He crossed his arms over his chest. He lowered his head and his face fell. “I'd never do anything to hurt anyone.” His tone was lower now. He looked to Lovina. “And I'd never do anything to hurt your shop.”

“Not intentionally.” The words were out before she could stop them. Hurt flashed on Mose's face, and he no longer looked so tough. She pictured him as a scared little boy. “I know you wouldn't cause damage on purpose, but it could happen more easily than you think.”

Something flashed in his eyes, as if a memory replayed there, and all the cocky defenses he'd maintained a moment before melted away. There was a story there, she knew. It was clear from
his gaze that he'd faced loss—of possessions, of his reputation. Why didn't teens learn?

Then again, what had she done to reach out to him? To any of them?

He'd been around, but she'd never really taken the time to talk to Mose. What was his childhood like? How did he like being in Florida? Did he think he'd stay Amish? She lowered her head, eyeing the freshly mowed grass. This was yet another person she'd pushed to the side in her desire to get the shop open. Had she let the goal of opening her shop get in the way of what really mattered?

Lovina opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Noah stepped forward. He must have taken note of the same mournful look on Mose's face because his voice was gentle. “Listen, Mose, can we get away for a few minutes? Can we talk alone?”

Mose nodded, and Lovina knew she was no longer needed. She'd made her worries known. Now the rest was up to Noah.

She turned to the other two teens. By the curious looks on their faces, they also seemed to be wondering what they should do next. Lovina cleared her throat and they looked at her.

“I wanted to hang some antique pie plates. Gerald, Atlee, can you help me get the ladder?”

“Ja,” Gerald answered.

“I can help,” Atlee joined in.

With a small wave to Noah, she turned and walked toward the pie shop. She didn't envy him. Noah had his work cut out with these teens. And she guessed that dealing with them was harder than trying to remodel a warehouse into a pie shop. Wood and concrete could be molded without shrinking back. You didn't have to worry about the feelings of building materials. You didn't have to talk them into complying. They couldn't walk away.

Oh Lord, be with Noah and give him the words.
She sent up a silent prayer. Mose needed to grow up. He needed to realize that his actions could be serious. But most of all he needed the grace that she herself had received more times than she could count.

Noah took Mose to Yoder's for lunch. The place was busy, and he hoped the noise of the room would make it impossible for anyone to eavesdrop on their conversation. More than that, he hoped the food would help. He'd seen his parents use the tactic numerous times. Hard talks were easier to stomach when one had a good meal placed in front of them.

Lovina's sister Faith was working, and Noah caught the way she shyly eyed Mose as they walked to their table. She smiled, and Mose attempted to smile in return, but Noah knew she wouldn't be convinced. The cocky attitude that Mose had earlier had been replaced by a mournful look.

They both ordered the special—hand-breaded pork chops and creamy country gravy—and then Noah leaned forward, his elbows on the table, as conversations swirled around them.

“Listen, I'm sorry about today.” Mose took a sip from his Coke. “It was stupid. I see that now.” He lowered his gaze and fiddled with his fork. “And I know you'll have to talk to my parents…”

“I not going to tell them,” Noah interrupted. “And I'll talk to Atlee and Gerald too.”

“Really? So they're not going to find out?” Mose's eyebrows lifted, and he looked again like the twelve-year-old boy who used to tag along with Noah at the auction yard. In Amish families, when one has lots of brothers and sisters, attention was craved, and Noah could still see that in Mose now. The thing was, he often sought it in the wrong ways.

Mose let out a long breath. “I'd never hear the end of it.”

Noah took a sip of his coffee and then nodded. “Do you think I don't understand? Growing up Amish, for your whole life you've lived by the rules. You've been told what to believe and how to act. You not only have your parents watching, but everyone in the whole community. One wrong move and everyone knows. Everyone.”

Mose looked at him cautiously, as if wondering when the lecture was going to come. Instead Noah continued, trying to help the young man know that he understood, but wouldn't tolerate such actions again.

Noah ran his fingers through his hair. “One of my cousins talked me into trying a cigarette once. His older brother kept them stashed under the buggy cushions. We went behind the barn to smoke and we looked around. I was sure that no one could see us. No one.

“Well, it turned out a neighbor had been in the orchard behind his house, pruning some of the trees. He told his wife. His wife told someone in town. By the time I got home that night my mem already knew. I got sent to bed without supper.”

Mose tossed his head so that his hair brushed against his forehead. Noah saw the hurt in his eyes. He also knew that even though Mose had messed up today, lecturing him would only push him further away. Besides, Lovina had already made her expectations known.

Their lunch arrived, and they both ate quickly as if it had been two days, instead of two hours, since breakfast. As Mose sopped up the last of his gravy with a roll, Noah cleared his throat, getting his attention.

“You know my whole plan in starting over in Florida was to keep you guys connected with the Amish community, but the
longer this goes on the more I realize that maybe my focus has been too much on making the Amish life seem appealing. I've made a big mistake.”

Mose paused his chewing. “What's that?”

“I'm afraid I haven't talked enough about God.”

Mose put down his fork and shrugged. “I'm not sure I know what you mean.”

The waitress approached to refill his coffee, and Noah waved her away. He didn't need coffee. He needed to share what was on his heart.

“I believe in our community. I appreciate the way we've chosen to live. But it's not being Amish that will get you to heaven. Eternity is about accepting what Jesus has done. We can try to be good all we want—to follow the rules of the community—but no one will ever get it right.” Noah focused on Mose's eyes. “I know I give you guys a hard time, but I mess up too—and often. No one can do everything right. That's what we need God's grace for.”

Mose nodded, but Noah could tell he was only half listening. He turned his attention to the pie menu. “Is it okay if I order pie to take back to Gerald and Atlee too?”

Noah released a heavy sigh. “Is that all?”

“Well, I don't think Lovina will want a piece. She makes her own pies, right?”

“I'm not talking about the pie, Mose. I'm talking about God, and about how we need Him. Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?”

Mose shrugged. “I've been listening. It makes sense. What else do you need me to say?”

“I don't need you to say anything, but I want you to come to me if you have questions. Living down here in Pinecraft I'm sure
you've seen a lot of people not following the same Amish rules, and it may not make sense with how you've been raised, but what I've come to discover is that it's not the rules that matter. Rules don't save us. Grace does. It's not what we do but our trust in Jesus that determines where we will spend eternity.”

Again Mose nodded, but it didn't seem as if Noah's words were truly sinking in.

Lovina's sister Faith approached with the bill. She tried to make small talk, but it was clear, even to her, that Mose wasn't in a talkative mood. Noah handed her cash for the ticket, not knowing what he could say. Faith took it, thanked him for the tip, and walked away disappointed.

Mose rose from the chair. Tension was clear on his face. Maybe the tension was from the prank earlier. Maybe the realization that Mose couldn't pull his old pranks was finally sinking in. Or maybe it was the conversation Noah just had with him. Did Noah's words battle within Mose's soul? It was hard to tell.

Noah rose from the seat, and they made their way through the restaurant. Mose held a paper bag with three slices of pie inside. When they got outside Mose paused and turned to Noah.

“Thanks for lunch, Noah, and before we get back to the warehouse there's something I need to tell you. I've been thinking about it for a while. After we finish the warehouse I'm going to head to Miami Beach. I've heard there are lots of good construction jobs there.”

Noah's chest tightened, and it felt as if someone was trying to squeeze his heart. “I—I don't understand.”

“I know you're trying to help me, I really do. But even if news of today's prank doesn't get back to my parents in the next few days, or even in a few months, they'll find out about that or about something else eventually. I'm just tired of trying to be perfect all
the time. It seems like I can do one hundred things right and only one thing wrong, and everyone jumps down my throat about it.”

Noah placed a hand on Mose's shoulder. “That's not what's happening. I hope you know how much I appreciate you guys. I—”

Mose shrugged off his touch. “Listen.” He held up his hands. “I know you mean well, I really do. I just need some time on my own, to figure it out my own way. I thought I'd be doing that by coming to Florida, but this place is more connected to home than I thought. Everyone still knows everyone else's business.”

Noah nodded. He wanted to bring up again how important God's grace was—not the opinions of men—but he knew that Mose wasn't in the right mind to receive it.

He'd known all along that if Mose decided not to stay there was nothing he could do to make him.

They continued walking back toward the pie shop and Noah dared to ask Mose one more question.

“What about Gerald and Atlee?”

Mose shrugged. “They don't know anything about my plans. I haven't mentioned it.”

“Do you think they'll go with you?”

“Probably not. I heard both of them talking and they're looking forward to seeing their parents, who are coming down during the season. And I think they're still sweet on some Amish girls too. I figure with me out of the way there won't be anything that'll keep them from being baptized. I must be a bad influence or something.”

“I hate to see you go off on your own like that.”

“Yeah, well, just keep up the good work with Gerald and Atlee. I think you're close to roping them in…especially with Lovina's pretty sisters coming around all the time.”

They neared the pie shop, and Noah could see there wasn't anything he could say that would change Mose's mind. He'd already checked out—if not with his body, then with his mind. If anything was going to get through to Mose it would have to be God's doing. Noah had done all he could, and it hadn't worked.

But Noah couldn't think about that now. He had the pie shop to finish up. He also had to make things right with Lovina. He'd given her his heart, but he hadn't fully revealed the truth of his past. Maybe he was more like Mose than he thought. Maybe he was afraid of everyone knowing the real him. Or at least he was afraid of Lovina knowing.