Madly & the Jackal (8 page)

I surfaced just ahead of him.  The instant my head broke the water, he stopped and our eyes met.  Neither of us said a word, he simply reached forward and drew me into his arms, crushing me to his bare chest.

A salty tang teased my tongue.  It wasn’t the taste of the sea.  It was the taste of my tears, tears of pure joy and intense relief that Jackson was all right, that we were back in each other’s arms where we belonged.

Love exploded within me.  Our legs tangled together in an intimate twist and the water began to churn around them.  Power flowed through us, between us and excited the ocean.  It was as though it mirrored my emotion.  It swelled beneath us, picking us up on an enormous wave and carrying us toward shore.  When our feet touched the sandy floor of the shallows, Jackson still didn’t let me go; he simply swept me into his arms and carried me onto the beach where he stood holding me. 

“Thank God you’re all right,” he breathed against my neck finally.

I leaned back and cupped his face.  “Me?  I was worried sick about you.  I was coming to find you.”

He sighed.  “Madly, I told you—”

“I know what you told me, but I’d rather die trying to find you than live without you.”

“But you—”

“Surely you can understand that,” I interrupted.

Jackson started to speak, but as he looked into my eyes, I knew he understood what I meant.  He felt the same way about me.  We were bound to one another.  Death would be infinitely preferable to life without one’s mate.  It was that simple.

“Yes, I can.  Lucky for you, I’m not going anywhere, so let’s agree to no more stunts on your part.  Deal?”

I loved the sound of that, of Jackson not going anywhere.  I smiled broadly.  “Deal.”

He brushed his lips against mine, instantly kindling a fire in my belly.  The sound of someone clearing their throat reminded us that we were not alone.

I looked over my shoulder at Holmes, who was trying not to look at us as he took a few steps forward.  “Sorry to interrupt, but will you still be needing an escort to your room, Princess?”

I laughed, feeling more lighthearted than I had in days it seemed.  Funny how the threat of losing Jackson had altered my perspective.  “Holmes, meet Jackson.  Sentinel Jackson Hamilton.  Jackson, this is Holmes.  He was assigned to me in your absence.”  The two Sentinels nodded at one another, but said nothing.  “No, I won’t be needing that escort after all, Sentinel Holmes, but thank you.”

With a curt nod, he spun around and walked away, leaving us alone.  I turned my gaze back to Jackson.  Although I could see the spark of desire lighting his eyes, I saw fatigue more than anything else. 

“We need to get you home,” I said, pressing my lips to his jawline then wiggling my legs so he’d set me down.  I dialed back my emotions to a more manageable level so I could focus on Jackson’s health rather than the heat of his body so close to mine.

He didn’t argue, so I took his hand and we began the walk back to the dorm.  I prayed Jersey wouldn’t be awake, that we could sneak in and have some time to ourselves to talk in Jackson’s room. Once she saw us, it would be utter chaos.

We walked in silence for a ways before Jackson finally spoke.  “How’d it go at Transport?”

“Just fine,” I replied casually.  I summarized the conversation I had with Commander Jessup. 

“Did he ask how we got away?”

“He did.”

“And?”

“I told him.”

Jackson tensed.  “And?”

I stopped and turned to face him.  “He knows.  And he doesn’t care.”  Jackson all but sighed in relief.  “I don’t think you’ll be in any trouble.”

“Trouble?  I wasn’t worried about getting in trouble.  I’d just rather we’re able to focus on getting Lore captured and returned to Atlas, and freeing your family than fighting the Powers That Be over whether or not our relationship is appropriate.”

His words warmed me.  “Well, until my father is free,
I
am the ‘Powers That Be’ and I’m very happy with this turn of events.”

I smiled up at Jackson.  He smiled down at me.  Sparks flew.  We stared at each other for several seconds longer before he cleared his throat, grabbed my hand and pulled me back into a walk beside him.  My stomach fluttered at the sexual tension between us.

“I guess I need to pay the Commander a visit then.”

“He can wait.  You need to rest.  I know you have to be exhausted.  Besides, I want to know what happened.  We need to talk.”

Whether I imagined it I couldn’t be sure, but I thought I felt Jackson tense again.

“Can we get cleaned up first?  I feel like I haven’t had a shower in days.”

Even though I suspected it was a stall tactic, I could relate to what Jackson was saying.  The atmosphere in Atlas was more humid than any steam bath, keeping Mer skin and scales moist.  But living on dry land was different.  Taking a shower with soap and then being dry for hours at a time made it hard to get used to the salty sea film again.  At just the mention of it, my skin felt grimy and my hair felt heavy with ocean debris.

“I think that sounds like a great idea.  Could—” I stopped myself, but not before Jackson heard me begin to ask the question.  He turned his head toward me and, in my peripheral vision, I saw him looking questioningly at me. I hoped he couldn’t see the blush that stole into my cheeks.

“Could what?” he prompted when I didn’t continue.

“Um, well, I was just thinking about Jersey. You know once she knows we’re back, we won’t have a moment’s peace for days, right?”

Jackson
humphed,
but said nothing for a few seconds.  He cleared his throat before he finally spoke.  “Maybe you should stay with me tonight.  You know, just until we can get all this sorted out.  Get a plan worked out.  I have my own shower after all.  And you can wear something of mine to sleep in if you wouldn’t mind.”

Wouldn’t mind?
I thought.  I felt warm and flushed all over just thinking about it.  A mixture of anxiety and anticipation coiled in my stomach like a tightly wound spring.  Keeping my eyes trained on the path in front of us, I responded as casually as I could.  “That should be fine.” 

Neither of us said anything for the last few minutes of our walk.  I was glad Slumber lay on the coast and the school not far from the shore.  That meant the dorm was only a short walk from the sea.

Jackson pulled to a stop just beyond the cone of light in front of our dorm.  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Just thinking how best to do this.”

“Do what?”

“Get in there.  Not only do we want to avoid Jersey, but I don’t have my key.”

“Oh.”

Jackson chewed his lip as he pondered.  It was a habit I found sexier by the day.  It drew attention to his full bottom lip and made me want to nibble it.

“Okay, here’s what we’ll do.  The window at my desk has a loose spot in the screen.  I can lift you up so you can pop it loose and crawl through to let me in from the inside.  Can you do that?”

I shrugged.  “Doesn’t sound too difficult.”

We stayed out of the light and crept around to the side of the dorm.  Luckily, our rooms were on the ground floor. 

Jackson was right about the screen.  In fact, he was able to reach it, push it open and then raise the window a bit.  All I’d have to do is crawl through.

I was surprised he hadn’t bothered to repair such a vulnerability.  On the other hand, knowing Jackson, he probably used it as a training exercise, daring anyone to climb through and try to attack him.  I’d seen his lightning-fast reflexes before.  I doubted it was possible to get the upper hand on him.

With admirable ease, Jackson took me by the waist and lifted me up to the opening.  I tried to ignore the feel of his hands on my body and his face pressed to the outside of my thigh, but it took effort.  Lots of effort.

When I had my upper body through the window, draped across the sill, I felt Jackson’s big hand cup my butt.  There seemed to be a protracted pause before he gave me a push to help me through.  Chills poured down my legs.

Once I had wiggled onto his desk, trying my best not to disturb the few things scattered across the surface, I swung my legs around and hurried to the door, unlocking it as quietly as I could.  Little more than a minute later, Jackson opened the door and hurried through, silently closing and locking it behind him.

 “We’ll have to be pretty quiet so Jersey doesn’t hear us,” he said in a hushed voice.  “And we’ll have to use candles rather than the lights.  She’d see them under the adjoining door.”

As Jackson spoke, he set about opening desk drawers until he came across what he was looking for—electric candles.  I should’ve known he didn’t mean actual candles.  What would someone like Jackson need candles for?  An answer popped unbidden into my mind and I pushed it ruthlessly away, unwilling to think of him with any other girls. 

No, Jackson’s “candles” were like long thin tubes of light with one fat end that served as a stand.  He turned one on and set it on the nightstand.  The other he carried into the bathroom.  I saw the soft light shine through the doorway when he switched it on.

Jackson came back out and rifled through his closet until he came away with something in his hand.  He walked to me and extended his hand. 

“Here.  It’s the only thing I have that won’t swallow you.”

I took the small square of material from his hand.  It was a soft cotton t-shirt, no doubt in black even though I couldn’t see the color clearly enough to confirm it. 

“Thank you.”

“I laid a towel and wash cloth on the sink for you.”

“You go first.  You’re tired and—”

Jackson’s finger over my lips stopped me mid-sentence.  “Don’t argue.  Just go.”

He replaced his finger with his lips for a quick kiss before nudging me toward the bathroom.  As much as I wanted a shower, I wasn’t about to argue anymore.

CHAPTER SEVEN

The water felt amazing, but even better was the scent that surrounded me in the shower.  It was Jackson.  I could smell him in the soap, in the shampoo.  I could close my eyes and remember with perfect clarity what they smelled like on his skin.  They blended with his natural aroma, a mixture of sunshine and the warm ocean breeze.  And man.  Dark, musky man.

By the time I got out and toweled off, my skin was tingling, only in part due to the shower.  The rest was a by-product of my wayward thoughts. 

I slipped into his t-shirt, which still hung almost to my knees and opened the bathroom door.  Jackson was sitting on the bed, staring at the door.  He had an intense look on his face that I didn’t quite know what to make of.  I stopped in my tracks.

“What’s the matter?”

He said nothing for a long time, just sat there watching me.  Finally, he stood.  I couldn’t help but notice his fists clenched at his sides.  “Nothing,” he said tightly.  “Make yourself at home.  I’ll be out in a minute and we’ll talk.”

He walked stiffly past me. I stood, stunned, as he closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower.

I perched on the end of the bed and ran my fingers through my hair to pick out the tangles.  I wasn’t nearly finished when the bathroom door opened and Jackson emerged in a puff of steam.

He was naked but for the towel slung low on his hips. I’d seen him this way once before and my reaction was no different.  I drank him in like the dessert drinks the rain—hungrily.

I doubted there was a more perfect specimen of man in all the world.  Jackson’s broad shoulders and wide, muscular chest were covered in smooth bronze skin.  A light sprinkling of dark hair dusted his pectorals then narrowed over his rigid abdomen and disappeared below his navel. 

I could see his muscles contract with his heavy breathing and the bulge beneath the towel was more than a little noticeable.  I felt the blush sting my cheeks and I knew I should avert my eyes.  Only I didn’t.  I looked.  Unabashedly, I looked.  And I wanted.  Oh, how I wanted.

With something that ranged between a growl and a groan, Jackson spun away from me and disappeared inside his closet.  Moments later, he emerged carrying something in his hand.  Without a word, he shut himself in the bathroom again.  Much to my dismay, I knew he was getting dressed.

I couldn’t help but feel a bit put out.  What happened to us not being able to keep our hands off each other?  And now that it was acceptable for us to touch each other wherever we wanted, as much as we wanted, Jackson was resisting.  What’s up with that?  It was starting to make me paranoid that every time there was real opportunity, Jackson made excuses.

That thought was turning over in my mind when Jackson strode from the bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of shorts.  The towel was sexier, but I’d take the shorts, too.  They showed off his amazing legs and still left most of his body naked to my roving eyes. 

With what sounded like a sigh of frustration, Jackson grabbed the straight-back chair that sat at his desk, plopped it down in front of me and straddled it, laying his arms across the back.  He was close enough that we could talk quietly, his face only a few inches from mine, but it was hardly an intimate setting.  Again, my paranoia flared.

“So, what do you want to know?”

Are you kidding me?
I wanted to shout. 
Everything! 
But I didn’t.  I took a deep breath and responded calmly.  “What happened after I swam away?  Where did you go?  How did you know something was happening?”

Jackson smiled at my rapid fire questions and my heart skipped a beat.  He was the most handsome thing I’d ever seen.

“Well, for starters, Sentinels are trained to discern smaller vibrations in the water than the average Mer.  I could tell there was an inordinate amount of activity to the North of where we were, near the main entrance to Atlas.  Considering what had happened with Leviathan, I knew it couldn’t be good.  But I had to get you out, so…”

I gritted my teeth over his continual protection of me, even when I didn’t want to be protected, but I said nothing.  We’d had that conversation too many times.  He would never listen to me.

“So what was going on?”

Jackson frowned.  “It’s hard to say.  You must’ve kept me invisible for quite a while, as I was able to get pretty close to the unit of Sentinels that were dispatched.   I could hear them talking.  The traitor must be high up in the ranks of royalty.  Whoever it is knew who we were, who we were masquerading as and where we’d gone.  The only way I can figure that information was obtained was through Leviathan.  So whoever the traitor is definitely works with Rumpel.”

I gasped.  “How did you get out?”

“Well, they set up around the portal, but I was able to get behind them.  Between them and the portal.  When you sent the whale in, I slipped through just as they were scrambling.  When they saw that it was just a whale, they shut off the alarms and got back into formation.”

“So, just like that, you got away?”

Jackson shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Anger sprang to life in my gut like a brushfire.  “Then what took you so long?  Do you know how worried I was?  Do you know what it was like, thinking I swam away and left you to get captured? Or left you to… to…”  I couldn’t squeeze the word “die” past the lump in my throat.  A single sob tore through it, though, and I jumped up from the bed and went to stand in front of the window.

“Left me to what?” Jackson asked softly.

I still couldn’t utter that worst case scenario.  But even the fear and heartache didn’t alleviate the fire that burned in my belly. 

When I didn’t answer, Jackson asked again, but this time his voice was little more than a whisper.  His lips moved against my hair.  He had come to stand right behind me.  “Left me to what?”

My temper exploded.  I whirled on him.  “What do you think, Jackson?  What do you think was going through my head when you didn’t show up?  What do you think was going through my head as I circled the shallows for hours, waiting for you?  Do you have any idea what that was like?”

If I hadn’t been sobbing, my voice would’ve been raised to the point of alerting Jersey.  But as it was, I could barely breathe past the lump in my throat.  Too much had happened too fast lately.  Losing Jackson—or even the thought of losing Jackson—was the last straw.

As quickly as it had arrived, the anger drained away, leaving only raw emotion in its wake.  Covering my face with my hands, I dissolved into the torrential downpour of tears that had been threatening for what seemed like an eternity. 

I felt Jackson’s arms come around me and pull me to him, his hands rubbing soothing circles over my back.  And I cried.  And I cried.  And I cried.

He whispered unintelligible things into the quiet room.  He brushed his lips against my hair.  He swayed gently back and forth.  He went through all the right motions, but none of them calmed the thing I hadn’t told him about, the one thing that had begun to bother me almost as much as the rest. 

As I thought of it, I began crying afresh, afraid that somehow being forced to marry me had done something to alter the way Jackson felt about me.  My rational mind assured me that it made no sense, but I was overwrought and my emotions were behind the wheel.

“What is it?” he asked, having noticed my renewed misery.

I shook my head as I sobbed.

“Madly, what is it?”

Again, I shook my head but said nothing.  Not only was it humiliating, I was secretly afraid he might confirm it.

“Tell me, Madly.  What is it?”  When still I didn’t answer, Jackson bent to scoop me up into his arms and carry me to the bed. He sat down, cradling me in his lap as he stroked my hair with his free hand.  “Please tell me, baby,” he whispered, his voice sounding nearly as tortured as I felt.

With a finger beneath my chin, Jackson urged my face up until our eyes met.  He looked genuinely concerned and it touched me in an unexpected way.

I tried to control my trembling chin, but it was no use.  “I’m afraid that you don’t want me anymore.  That something has changed and you don’t want me…like
that
anymore.”

Blood rushed to my cheeks and I buried my hot face against his chest to await his dreaded response.

“Madly, I told you I want your first time to be special and—”

“With you, it would be special no matter what,” I mumbled.

“But I want more for you.  I want—”

“Something we may never have, time we may never have.”

Jackson didn’t respond for a distressing amount of time.  My heart sank with each second that ticked by.  I was right.  Things had changed.  He had no argument for me because it was all true.

When he shifted me off his lap, I wanted to get up and run right out the door and into the night, never to return again.  A bullet to the heart couldn’t have hurt any worse than the pain of his rejection.

But then his lips were on mine.  They were light as a summer breeze and twice as warm.  They fluttered over my mouth, my nose, my forehead and my cheeks before returning to my lips.  They were hovering there, a breath away when he spoke. 

“I’ve never wanted anyone so much in all my life.  And I never will again.  We belong together, Madly.  Always.”

And then he kissed me.  Really kissed me.  I was breathless in seconds.  My lips fell open and his tongue slid in to tangle with mine as he eased me onto my back.  He stretched out beside me, one knee coming to settle between mine, opening my legs to his explorations.

I wore nothing under Jackson’s shirt.  I felt his palm the instant it hit my thigh and it burned like a branding iron with every inch that it ascended, dragging my only clothing up with it. 

His hand slipped under my butt and lifted, just enough to ease his shirt from beneath me and push it up to my ribs.  His fingers danced over my stomach and up the valley between my breasts, causing chills to spread across my skin.  He deepened the kiss further just as I felt his palm brush my sensitive nipples. I arched my back, straining toward him, a silent plea for more.  But he didn’t give me more.  Instead, his hand skimmed its way back down to my waist just before he rolled off me.

My mind was spinning and my body was on fire.  I thought Jackson’s was, too.  His retreat only added to my confusion.

“What’s wrong?” I panted.

“Come here,” he said, urging me first into a sitting position and then into a stand.  He situated me between his legs, facing him.  They were spread where he sat on the bed in front of me.

Jackson looked up at me, his eyes sparkling in the low light.  Reaching forward, he took my hand in his.  He studied it as he toyed with my fingers, stroking each one from knuckle to tip.  He turned my hand over and rubbed circles into the palm as he looked back up at me.  “The thought of kissing you, touching you, licking you, feeling your body wrapped around mine…” he said huskily, his voice trailing off.  He raised my palm to his mouth and kissed the center.  “If you’re sure this is what you want—now, like this—you’d make me the happiest man on the planet.  But only if you’re sure.”

Looking down into his face, I was speechless.  Breathless.  I’d been wrong.  So, so wrong.  I could see the passion in his eyes, the desire.  And, although I knew he was trying to do the right thing by me, the only thing I wanted him to do was take me.  However, whenever, wherever.  I’d never wanted anything more.

All I could do was nod.

“You’re sure.”

I nodded again.

He smiled, a slow spread of his lips that revealed his perfect teeth.  His eyes never left mine as he slowly sank his teeth into the flesh at the base of my thumb.  A thrill raced through my body and landed in the lowest part of my stomach.  I caught my breath.

“Do you know the things I’ve dreamed of doing to you, Madly?” he whispered, his voice like sultry velvet.

I shook my head.

Holding my gaze, Jackson scooted off the bed and onto his knees, sitting back on his haunches.  With both hands, he tugged my right leg until I raised it.  He set my foot on his thigh. I reached out to hold onto his shoulder for balance.

“I’ve pictured these perfect legs a thousand times,” he began, massaging my calf.  Gently, he kissed the inside of my knee and then nipped it with his teeth as he’d done my palm.  Electricity shot through me again.  “What they’d feel like against my cheek.”  He raised my leg further until it was draped over his shoulder.  Turning his head, he nuzzled the inside of my thigh.  “Mmm, just like I imagined.”  Heat poured through me as his hands stroked my thigh, higher and higher until his fingers brushed my groin.  I sucked in a breath and held it, not knowing what I wanted him to do, but knowing I wanted him to do something.

“I’ve fantasized about how you’d respond to me,” he said, teasing me with his fingers at the one place I wanted him most.  “About how warm you’d feel inside.”  Gently, he slid one long finger inside me.  I bit my lip to keep from crying out as he moved it slowly in and out.  It was all I could do to stay on my feet, but somehow I did.  I had to see what he’d do next.  “But most of all, I wanted to know what you’d taste like.”  And then he did the unthinkable.  Leaning forward, he pressed his mouth to me.

My knees buckled, but Jackson wound his arm around me and pulled me to him, crushing my body to him and keeping me upright as I fisted my fingers in his short hair.